Careful to safeguard the image of a devoted family man, my father struggled to accept a furtive lifestyle. Like my mother, Kaja expected him to confine his happiness and unhappiness, as occasion warranted, to the family. His failure to do so resulted in both my sister and mother’s surreptitious resentment. Torn by conventional devotion to a philanderer, my mother resorted to prayer more than ever, while he became more withdrawn than usual. His inability to reconcile a conservative public persona, while carrying out a secret affair, took its toll on a guilty conscience and manifested itself in frigid interactions. Unable to find a solution for the moral dilemma, his heart condition deteriorated. His sudden death left my mother feeling guilty that she contributed to his condition.
Lost in t
