KANA

Part II

From today Niki is no longer working. There were many things she had to prepare before the wedding, so she stopped early. After all, I already here to replace her and she feels that she has told me all the important things. She only worked for two days before finally completely stopped. After all, as she mentioned before that this is not a difficult job.

Niki is right. This is not a difficult job. I just need to follow 'my boss' every move. She's also not a busy woman that would overwhelm me. Instead, she has a routine that makes me feel like I'm relaxing more than working. For example, my rest time in one day is when she sleeps, also when she works. Even though I can't be away from her, she doesn't mind me doing other activities even sleeping at both times.

However, it really feels awkward when Niki 'leave me' alone. She's the only person I know the most here, while the rest are strangers that I've just met.

"Didn't you hear me calling you earlier?" Nona came out of her room. She looked ready to go to work today. Without being asked, I took the initiative to take the bag that she was carrying. Help her to bring it.

"You called me?" I thought about it again. I don't think I heard anyone calling earlier. Did I daydream so I didn't hear it?

She nodded. "Several times."

"I'm sorry, I didn't hear you," I cursed my carelessness. How could I not hear it while I've been standing here all along? Nona must have thought I was playing around or left her on purpose. She won't scold me right? "Do you need anything?"

"Yes, but not anymore," She answered. She didn't look angry. Who knows. She may be so angry that it looks as if she's not.

She still stood there. Keep looking at me while waiting for my response. But what should I say next? I kept thinking about the last sentence she said, so what should I say next?

"I'm sorry," I said. Eventually. I really don't know how to handle this kind of situation other than apologizing.

She actually laughed at my second apology in the last minute. She looks sincere when she laughs at me, and I think that's cute. When she burst into laughter, then a big smile graced in to her face. I don't know how long it will take to be professional if I see things like this every day.

"Why are you apologizing while hugging my laptop bag like that?" She laughed again. "You look like you don't want to take it off."

I lowered the bag from my arms. Not that I didn't want to take it off, but because I thought that this was a valuable item. That's why I carried it with care. If it looked weird, I should have just carried it around with one hand.

Then she went down to the dining room for breakfast. Meanwhile I went to the car to put down her bag and wait for her to finish.

She lives in a luxurious house in an elite housing estate. This house consists of two floors and four bedrooms. The first floor contains a living room, a garage for two cars but only one car and the rest is filled with a motorbike, a kitchen and dining room, a guest room that is left empty, and the room of mbak* Dedeh, the housekeeper. While the second floor contains the master bedroom that she uses, my bedroom, study room, and family room with a large television. At the back of the house, there is a swimming pool, as well as a garden that provides a fresh atmosphere in the backyard.

Actually, apart from me and mbak Dedeh, there is another worker in this house. We used to call him Mang** Ramli. He doesn't live in this house. He came early in the morning, then returned in the afternoon. If Nona has an urgent need and has to go out for the night, Niki will bring it herself. That should be my job now. However, I am not skilled at driving. I mean I've never even driven before. Nona is fine with that since I told her earlier. She said she could drive herself. After all, she rarely goes out at night.

*mbak : greeting words for older women in the Java area.

**Mang : greeting words to men who are approximately the same age as uncle

In less than thirty minutes, she was out. I rushed to open the door for her. Once again she greeted me as she got into his car.

"Have you had breakfast?" She asked as she walked in.

I nodded. I had breakfast earlier when Nona was getting ready. Deliberately faster because Niki told me so.

"I haven't, Non!" said Mang Ramli, who was already sitting behind the wheel. "Just coffee milk."

Again, the girl smiled broadly when responding to mang Ramli's chirp. Made me almost pinch my own hands when closing the car door. I can't focus on it.

"But Dedeh has packed me breakfast," mang Ramli continued when I got into the car and sat beside the driver. "Actually, I wanted to eat Nasi Uduk near the office. But, Dedeh insisted to pack a breakfast."

"Isn’t it the new stall near the intersection?" Nona said as the car started moving. "I heard their Nasi Uduk is really good. Many employee say that."

"Yes, that one!" Mang Ramli answered. "I didn't eat breakfast on purpose because I was curious to try it. I'll try it tomorrow. Do you want it too? I'll buy it for you."

"I like it. Tomorrow I'll tell mbak Dedeh first so she doesn't have to cook. Don't let the two of us get wrapped up breakfast tomorrow." Se laughed after being accompanied by mang Ramli. Then, she turned to me. "How about you Dara? do you like Nasi Uduk?"

"I Like, Non!" I replied with a polite nod. I'm not too picky about foods. Then after thinking about it for a while, I felt that there was something wrong with my sentence. I immediately corrected them so she wouldn't misunderstand. "I mean, I like nasi uduk. Not like you, Non."

Right after I finished speaking, the whole car exploded. I woke up and immediately regretted it. Either I think too much or can't think at all.

"What did I say?" Nona teased after her laughter died down.

"Non Dara seems to really dislike Non Kana." Mang Ramli chimed in and made things worse.

"No! No! I like you!" I defended myself, panicking. And I guess I'm just too slow in thinking. Why do I always say things that would embarrass me? It ended with me slapping myself in the mouth.

"How about me? Do you like me too?" Mang Ramli tease again.

"Don't give him answer! Mang  Ramli is a big-time playboy. Mbak Dedeh is always seduced by him." Nona intercedes.

"No, there's no way I can tease Non Dara. She is in same age with my daugther." said mang Ramli. "Besides, it's not true that I dared to seduce Dedeh. I could be beheaded by my big madam."

"How are you big madam?" Nona asked then.

"She is pregnant. Again!" Mang Ramli replied, then shook his head while smiling. "It's been a good luck, huh."

Mang Ramli once told me while Niki and I were sitting around waiting for Nona to finish a meeting outside the office. His first wife died, then he remarried a few years ago. Now he has four children. I think it'll be five soon.

"Well, congratulations, Mang! It will be more crowded in your house," Nona also seemed happy to hear the good news that was conveyed by mang Ramli. "How old is the womb?"

"It's been three months.  She started having weird cravings," said mang Ramli.

"Don't you have cravings too?" Nona asked jokingly. "Could it be that Nasi Uduk was craving again?"

"No, when I crave, I don't want only one thing. Because I am chronically pregnant." Mang Ramli joked.

Mang Ramli is a bit fat. Especially his stomach. With a round face and neatly hair, he actually looks humorous. In fact, he doesn't always make jokes that can provoke laughter. Only occasionally he jokes with Nona.

That's the our routine while in the car. We spent it with friendly chat. Of course I didn't go along with it. I'm just listening. Every now and then if someone asks me directly, I will answer with the shortest answer.

While my boss was working, I waited in the waiting room as usual. I hope that today, Mrs. Nur doesn't come and invite me to a conversation. It's not that I don't like that woman. However, Niki isn't here anymore, and I hate it when people talk to me for a long time.

In the afternoon, Pak Ramli came to the second floor, to meet our boss and ask permission to go home for a while because his wife asked him to buy Rujak. Nona even told Mang Ramli to go home and not to go back to the office because it would be a hassle. She said she could go home alone, after all, I was with her. She even gave some cash for the cost of going home and to buy Rujak. Mang Ramli then left after many times saying thank you to her.

The more I got to know her, the more I felt that my boss was an amazing girl. She is not only beautiful, but also kind. If I was in mang Ramli's position, I would also be very grateful. A boss who understands the situation of her subordinates is very rare. Moreover, it was not a really urgent situation. Just because his wife wants to buy some food.

Not long after mang Ramli left, she want to go home. Even though if it was another boss, they would ask mang Ramli to take her home first before leaving. Yeah, it is like a bullshit when this is my first job. How can I possibly know what other bosses are look like when I've never worked before? And sometimes other people's stories are often exaggerated.

"Do you want to have dinner outside?" She asked me before getting in the car. "There's a good restaurant I haven't been to in a long time. Would you like to try it?"

"I'm just going with you, Non!" I replied. She may be offering me because she wants to eat something, but wants to convey it politely. I knews she didn't want to eat with me. She doesn't like eating with other people. Besides, she doesn't have to think about me if she wants to do something. I didn't even mind just standing in the back waiting for her eating. I came to work. Not to make her feel uncomfortable.

And as usual, I just said it in my mind. I don't seem to have the right time to say it directly. I thinking too slow that when a sentence finally came in my head, it was not the right time for me to speak.

Like this time.

"I haven't eaten crab in a long time. They also have another seafood dish which I think is the best." She spoke just as I was about to say I was fine, and not to think about me. Instantly my mouth was shut tight again.

She also doesn't seem like unwilling when it comes to doing something she doesn't like. she really looks normal. Actually there are many things I want to tell her. Starting from asking that Niki had said that she didn't like eating with other people, to whether she would pay for my meal or should I pay for it myself. The second one wasn't that important and of course as usual, I didn't say anything in the end.

It was a restaurant not far from the office. The place is quite big and crowded with visitors. Especially in a situation like this, in the afternoon when people mostly hang out after work.

She booked a private room for the two of us. A room of approximately ten square meters with a table for four people. The room is enclosed by a wall on the side facing the restaurant, and glass on the side facing the street so that visitors can still enjoy the bustling city traffic. They also put a small bell near the door not far from the seat so that diners occupying a private room can easily call restaurant employees when they need something.

The interior is also quite unique in my opinion. The inner walls are not plastered so they show off the uneven dark red color of the neatly arranged bricks. In some parts, abstract paintings with pastel colors are hung that are not too eye-catching. Small orange lights hanging above the ceiling add a dim impression to the room, but visitors can still see clearly. And in the opposite the glass window, they put shrubs which I think are made of plastic to add a fresh impression in the room.

And so far she hasn't asked me to be in a separate room. She even ordered me to sit in front of her, then told me ordered whatever I wanted.

In the end I ordered something same with her. It usually takes me a long time to think about what to order when I'm at a restaurant. I can't keep her waiting right? So I matched my order.

When the order came, she started eating without a problem. Maybe Niki was overreacting about it, or Niki was just playing a prank on me. I started to feel relieved when she seemed comfortable eating at the table with me.

"You seem very quiet," she said between meals. She put her cutlery on the table, then propped his elbows and looked at me. "Or you just don't like chatting with me?"

"It's not like that. Nona,  I just..."

"No, no!" She shook her head quickly, causing my defense to stop halfway. "You can be more comfortable with me. Since I think we're at the same age, you can call me Kana."

Are we the same age? But Niki said …

"Yes, although I may be a little older than you," she added quickly, "but only about six to seven years. And, do you like it when people keep calling you Nona?"

I imagined it. If someone called me Nona, then it would feel really weird. I don't think I'd like that name.

"Because of that, you can call me Kana," She continued.

"Okay, Kana," I said, a little awkwardly. Am I too obedient? Of course, she is my boss.

"Well, that sounds better." She smiled contentedly and continued her meal. On the way to her second bite, she spoke again. "And don't wear that uniform again. It looks ugly."

I looked down at the clothes I was wearing now. It's the same uniform that Niki used to wear. Dark gray suit with a safari top. Do I look that ugly wearing it? Though I think Niki fits perfectly when wearing this.

"I once told Niki that the uniform was ugly, but she insisted on wearing it," she continued explaining, "But Niki said that this outfit shows she is my bodyguard. If two girls walk together, when one of them is wearing that uniform, people will think twice to harass them. It's different if both of them wear casual clothes. They are more prone to become victims of crime."

That makes sense. If I wear this outfit, then people will think Kana is a girl with bodyguards. And if I just wear normal clothes, people only see two girls walking together.

"I don't agree with that. If someone has bad intentions, then they will do that. On the other hand, if people don't mean to do bad things, why would they bother me?" She said again.

That's also true. Regardless of one's attire, if anyone had malicious intentions, then they would do everything in their power to carry out their intentions.

"Because of that, I don't think you need to wear that uniform," she said then, "You don't mind, do you?"

"No, I don't mind," I answered simply. I really don't mind any of it. It's not what I want anyway. My boss ordered, and I just obeyed.

But, why did she give me this uniform ifs he didn't like me wearing it? Isn't she really weird?

Again she smiled. Seemed happy that I was so obedient to her.

"Eat!" She pointed at my food with the tip of her chin. I purposely stopped eating every time she spoke. Isn't it rude to continue eating while your boss is talking?

I obeyed. I took the spoon and fork that I had put down and started eating the clam pasta on my plate. Same dish with her. Even though she said she wanted to eat crab, she ordered that the crab to be wrapped to take home because the portion for crab here is huge. If they take it home, they can share it with mbak Dedeh too and if we can’t finished it, it can still be stored.

"Isn't it delicious?" She asked again.

I nodded in agreement. It does taste good, but not my favourite. But, if one day offered a similar kind of food, I will not refuse.

"You really don't talk much." She laughed and sat back down. Not continuing to eat, but just looking at me. "What should I do to hear your voice more?"

"I'm sorry," I put my spoon and fork back on the table. Feeling guilty for the inconvenience.

She even laughed at what I did. "If anyone sees, they might think I'm scolding you."

"Nona, I..."

"What did we agree on about the call?" she interrupts.

"I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable miss," I corrected.

"Still sound too formal," she protested with her intimidating gaze. No, she's not trying to show  authoritarian. She still looks very friendly with a smile that never leaves her face. A way of intimidation that is far more cruel than violence. By influencing someone's heart.

I mean, how can I say no when she looks like that? This is one of the reasons why I don't really like socializing. I'm too weak.

"I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable, Kana." I repeated my sentence once again. Do what she wants.

She cheered and clapped her hands. "It's so thrilling when you say my name."

Doesn't she know that it also thrills me every time she looks at me like that? Like I'm the only one seen in her eyes. As if I was something she was curious about. Then she smiled and made me want to do nothing but stare at her. I just sit there, ignoring my cold food. All I see now is that she feels so happy just because I say her name.

However, isn't it possible that her pleasure is only showing to make fun of me who doesn't talk much. She was happy not because I said her name, but because I said a sentence that was a little longer. As she said before that she wanted to hear my voice more.

This is not the first time. Most people that I meet usually get excited when I talk more. As if it was a wonderful thing when I didn't just say yes and no.

Then, as soon as she finished celebrating her joy, she leaned in slightly and whispered, "You know what? I'm really curious about what you're really thinking in your head."

Does it seem so obvious when I think about something?

"Exactly like that!" She pointed her finger at me. "When you put on that face, you were thinking about something right?"

To be honest, my mind has been a little distracted since a while ago. Just as I sat here, in front of her. I don't know anymore what I'm doing or what I've just done. I can't focus while she keeps distracting and look at me like this.

"What are you really thinking?" She asked, leaning even more towards me.

I frantically looked for an excuse. There's no way I can say I'm thinking about her. It was so embarrassing and weird. She would probably fire me right away because she thought I was a psychopath. So, the first thing I found was my food. I grabbed a fork and stirred it awkwardly.

"I'm just thinking about what my siblings think if I take them to eat here." I had to lie. Hopefully that doesn't sound lousy. "Ar loves shellfish, and An is an all-eater."

I feel a little guilty for having to sell the names of my brothers. At least, some part of it was true except for the part where I thought of them.

"Next time, we'll bring them here," She said. Something beyond my expectations. I know she's a good person. So kind to care for the family of her employees. Not only me, she treated the same thing to mang Ramli earlier. She just too kind. I can't get it wrong can I?

This is not the time for me to feel this way because I really need this job. I can't mess it up. It's not just about myself. My whole family depends on me.

Indeed, I had liked a girl before. Of course it didn't go well. I kept my distance from her once I couldn't get over my feelings for that girl. Didn't I say that my family is a little old-fashioned? That's what I was afraid of all along. What if they find out later that I only like girls? They probably didn’t want me as their family anymore. Of course I don't want that to happen. I love them all. Even more so than myself.

After all, this girl in front of me is already married to a man. Apart from being tied to a relationship, she couldn't possibly like me either. She was just too nice that I felt that she looked at me in a special way. Even if she likes me, I can't ruin someone else's relationship, right?

Tsk! What was I really thinking. It's so far away that it's twisted everywhere. In fact, she only showed her kindness.