THE NIGHT I SHOULD HAVE WALKED AWAY
Aria's POV
“I said leave”.
His voice sounded harsh,as if he was trying to control something inside of himself.
I stood by the door,my fingers gripping the handle but I couldn’t bring myself to turn it.
His chest was moving up and down fast and it did not match the calm face he was trying to show. He put one hand on the table like it was the thing keeping him from falling over.
“Are you okay?”, I asked,even though I wasn’t sure why I cared.
He lifted his head slowly and looked into my eyes.
“I don’t repeat myself”, he said sternly.
“This wasn’t what I came here for…”, I thought to myself.
I swallowed and tightened my grip on my bag. “You don’t look fine”.
A quiet and bitter sound left his lips.
“I’m not”,he admitted. “And that’s exactly why you need to go”.
My heart raced. There was a voice in my head, screaming at me to get out.
“Did something happen to you?” I asked,taking a step towards him without thinking.
“Stop",he said sharply.
His jaw got tight as he ran a hand through his hair. He briefly lost balance, then got it back.
“I was drugged”,he said,his voice lower now. “Someone thought it would be funny to test how far I could be pushed”.
“You need to leave”, he continued,his gaze didn't leave mine. “Before this turns into something we won't both be able to handle".
I nodded.I should leave.
So why was I still standing there?
I turned slightly but behind me,I heard him exhale sharply, like he was struggling to hold himself together.
“I can’t just leave you like this”,I said quietly,feeling drawn to his pain.
"If you stay, you might not be able to decide what happens next”.
His words sent a strange feeling through me. It felt like a warning.
I turned back slowly.
He was watching me like he was waiting for me to make a decision that would change everything. I could feel it.
“If I walk out”,I said, my voice barely steady, “you’ll be fine?”
He let out a short breath.
“No”,he said honestly. “But that won’t be your problem”.
Silence stretched between us.
I should have left but I couldn't.
I moved closer to him,dropped my bag on the table with a thud and cupped my hands around his face. His jaw was tense under my palms.
He turned to face me fully now. His gaze was intense,burning with passion, like he’d been holding back for hours. His breath hitched.
“I don’t think I can hold this any longer,” he said,his voice low and rough.
He stood in one sharp movement,hands sliding under my thighs and grabbed me by the butt. In half a second,I was set down on the edge of the table. Gasp caught in my throat.
The wood was cold against the backs of my legs but his hands were hot.
“Is this okay?” he murmured,his forehead against mine. I nodded even though I didn't know what I was doing.
He started at my neck with the faintest pecks,like he was testing me.
He moved downward,mouthing across my collarbone,his tongue flicking over the hollow there before he dragged damp,teasing kisses down my chest. Every inch sent a sharp,exciting shiver through me. I tried to catch my breath but it went shallow every time his mouth found a new spot.
I fisted his shirt,grabbed the back of his head and dragged him closer until there was no space left. “You’re killing me”, I whispered in his ears.
He smirked. “Not yet”.
His mouth found the spot below my ear and I arched into him. The table rattled. One of his hands stayed at my waist,anchoring me; the other slid up my thigh,bunching my dress as it went.
“I’ve never done anything like this before”, I admitted,my voice quieter now.
Something flickered in his eyes.
“I will be gentle…and I can stop if you want me to”,he said,his thumb brushing my hip where he still anchored me. “You can still leave”.
He was giving me the choice and somehow,that made it harder.
“I don’t want to leave”,I said before I could stop myself.
The moment the words left my lips,his whole body shifted.
He slid both arms under me in one motion. One beneath my knees, the other around my back. I gasped,instinctively looping my arms around his neck as he lifted me like I weighed nothing. No rush...just the sound of my bag hitting the floor and his steady heartbeat against my temple.
“I’ve got you,” he murmured into my ear.
He didn’t put me on the sofa. He carried me through the doorway,past the living room into the inner room where the lamplight was low and gold. The mattress dipped as he laid me down gently. He didn’t hover over me. He braced himself on his forearm beside my head,giving me space,giving me one last second to change my mind.
His eyes were dark,but not just with want. There was concern there.
Even with the aphrodisiac humming under his skin, I could feel it in the tight grip he kept on his own control. He looked at me like I was something he refused to break from.
“You don’t even know my name”,he said.
“Neither do you know mine”,I replied,my voice shaking slightly.
“That’s exactly why this shouldn’t happen”.
“Then stop me”, I whispered.
That did it.
He began with his mouth again…unhurried.
Little pecks at my temple,my cheekbone,the corner of my mouth,like he was memorizing me. His tongue traced my bottom lip until I opened for him and the kiss was slow and deep.
One hand stayed on my waist,keeping me grounded. The other mapped my collarbone, caressed my t**s,then to the dip of my stomach.
My dress was already halfway ruined from the table and he eased it up instead of tearing it,watching my face for every flinch and every gasp. When his knuckles brushed the bare skin on my thigh, I shivered so hard.
“Still okay?” he whispered against my throat.
“Don’t stop”, managed to utter. My voice didn’t sound like mine.
His tongue swirled at my breast,then he went lower,his mouth hot on my stomach while his fingers traced the edge of my panties but didn’t dip beneath.
Gosh.. He was teasing and waiting for me to beg.
And I did. A broken “Please”, that I didn’t recognize,escaped my lips and his eyes flashed.
He kissed down my inner thigh,pausing to blow cool air where he’d just made me hot. I let out a helpless moan I’d never heard myself make.
When his mouth finally settled between my thighs,his tongue circled my c**t…soft at first,then intense.
One of his hands splayed on my hip to keep me from floating away,the other sliding up to tangle our fingers together. I squeezed hard and he squeezed back.
The pleasure was sharp and deep, then overwhelming that made my back arch and my thighs shake. I tried to say something but it came out as a moan,wrecked and high and he groaned against me like the sound alone nearly undid him.
“Let go. I’ve got you” ,he said softly as he lifted his face up a little,between my thighs.
I did.
The pleasure hit like a wave,stealing my breath, my thoughts..everything. My body bowed off the mattress and I cried out loud,not caring who heard.
He didn’t stop until I was trembling,pushing at his shoulders,then he pressed one last,soft kiss there,like an apology.
He crawled back up my body,lining us up and searched my face again. There were beads of sweat at his temple,his jaw was tight from holding back. The aphrodisiac was in the way,he couldn’t quite hide the tremor in his arms but his eyes were clear.
“Still want this?”, he asked,voice hoarse.
I pulled his mouth to mine instead of answering.
He entered me inch by inch,slow enough that I felt every moment instead of the sharp pain I had expected.
I felt a burn but he caught it on my face and stilled, kissing my tears before they even fell.
“Breathe”, he whispered, rocking his hips in tiny and shallow movements,letting my body adjust. His forehead pressed to mine. “Just breathe”.
The burn melted into pleasure that wasn’t scary because he was there,in my eyes,talking me through it.
“That’s it. You’re doing so good for me”.
When I finally moved my hips up to meet him,he groaned and buried his face in my neck. He was still gentle and careful. He set a rhythm,deep and unhurried,that was more about me than him. Every moan I gave,he answered with a kiss,
a word or a brush of his thumb across my cheek.
It wasn’t what I’d been told my first time would be. It felt safe and pleasurable with his voice in my ear saying, “I love how you feel so incredible”.. His eyes never left mine, even when his control finally frayed and his thrusts stuttered and went deeper and faster.
I came again with loud moans in my mouth and with his hand cradling my face, he followed right after,burying a groan in my shoulder like he was trying to keep the sound just for us.
He didn’t collapse on me. He rolled,taking me with him so I could lay on his chest and held me there while we both shook. His heart was racing under my ear. His hand ran up and down my back,over and over.
“You okay?”,he asked after a long time.
I couldn’t find words.I just nodded and felt him breathe out all the tension at once.
And when it was over, when the room finally felt still again, I stepped back slowly,my chest rising and falling as reality began to settle in.
I didn’t know his name.
He didn’t know mine.
And yet something had just happened that I couldn’t take back.
I walked out of that room telling myself it meant nothing. That it would end there.
That I would forget it ever happened but I was wrong.
If I had known what that night would lead to…I would have never stayed.