Flashback
1108 Words
I'm sitting on the floor shaking I didn't mean to spill the drink on him I just need to protect my head I'm sorry please I'm sorry I can hear a soft voice asking me to come back but I can't my minds flashback to the past
2 years ago
I'm in the kitchen making Ivan a drink my body is sore from my last beating but I must learn to be better behaved then he won't have to hurt me anymore.
I've made his drink and am taking it to his office I knock on the door and wait for permission to enter I've learnt the hard way not to walk in uninvited he tells me to enter I see him sitting behind his desk so I walk over and go to place the drink on the desk but he reaches up to take it from me I can't help it I flinch which sends the drink all over him and the desk when I look up I see his eyes have darkened with anger and I know that my battered body is going to get more bruises.
YOU STUPID f*****g b***h!! he shouts grabbing my hair he bashes my head of the side of the desk I instantly feel the warmth of blood were my head splits I feel dazed and dizzy as he punches me in my stomach knocking the wind out of me I'm praying that it's over quickly but my prayers go unanswered.
Ivan picks me up if the floor by my hair and bends me over the desk he rips of my underwear I know what's coming so I close my eyes and try to go to my safe place when I feel something cold pressed against my anus my eyes snap open just as something hard is roughly pushed inside me I scream out in pain I've never felt pain like this before whatever he's pushing inside me is big he keeps pushing it in and out getting harder with each thrust of his hand I can feel warm wetness running down my legs and that's when I pass out.
when I come to I'm laying on the floor with Ivan on top of me I feel him inside me he's grunting and groaning he starts to pick up his pace then I feel him release inside me, he gets off me stands up and walks to the door, just before leaving he looks back at me and tells me to clean myself up before he gets back and then he's gone leaving me a bloody heap on the floor.
I slowly drag myself up and to the bathroom, I look in the mirror and what I see makes me wince my right eye is starting to swell shut my lips are swollen and bleeding I look further down and see a bruise starting to form on my side I can feel blood dripping from my anus but what makes me pause are my eyes there dead.
I'm laying in the bath trying to think of a way out when I spot my razor blade I reach over and grab it because I just want to be free I try to be good but it's never enough Ivan tells me he hurts me because he loves me and wants what's best for me but surely if you love someone you don't hurt them like he does.
I don't know how long Ivan's been gone but I hope he doesn't find me in time I take the blade and slice across both wrists and instantly feel at peace I lay back close my eyes and wait I don't know how long I lay there but my eyes struggling to stay open just before they close but I hear the door being kicked open and Ivan crying out what the f**k have you done!!
I can vaguely ear Lil's whispering in my ear, which is helping me come out of my flashback, when I come to fully I see that `i see that Lil is on the floor with me and she's looking at me with a sad expression on her face, lifting my head I see Maddog, Blade and Butch with pissed of expressions on there faces.
Lil stands up and grabs my hand helping me off the floor, keeping my head down not making eye contact with anyone I follow her from behind the bar down a hallway into a office, we sit on a sofa and shes the question I was dreading her asking.
" Want to tell me what that was back there Kenzie?"
"I'm sorry Lil I'm not ready to talk about it just yet, all I say is spilling that drink on Maddog's top and lap lead to me having a flashback to something that happened a few years ago."
"Jesus Kenzie what did that fucker do to you, you do realise that what happened out there was an accident and Maddog wasn't angry?"
I can feel tears leaking down my face as I reply
"I know Lils but my head doesn't understand that we are now safe, I will tell you one day all of what Ivan put me through I'm just not ready for that talk yet."
Around 10 mins later the door to the office opens and Maddog and Blade walk in both of them have intense looks on there faces, taking in the fact I and Lil have both been crying, Maddog walks over and asks Lil if she'd mind waiting outside while he speaks to me alone.
I'm not sure how I feel about him asking her and not me if I'd mind speaking with him on my own, Lil soon puts him in place telling I'm the one he should be asking not her, Obviously, I don't know this man so I don't really feel 100% safe around him, soI tell them I don't mind as long as the door is left open.
Once they've left I turn to MadDog and apologise for spilling his drink on him, taking my hands in his he tells me I have nothing to be sorry for and that I'm safe that no one will raise a hand to me in anger again and for some reason, I believe him, he tells me I can have the rest of the night off and if I'm being honest I'm glad I just want to go home and have a nice relaxing bath to wash this night away.
Me and Lil say bye to everyone and start to head out just before we reach the door I feel the sharpest pain I've ever felt in my stomch clutching it I fall to the floor crying
"MY BABY"
- Writer
