Catalyst of Dreams

14. Blue Doors and Exit Doors

“Hold up Lilia!” I say as we exit the elevator to her floor.

“What’s up?” 

“I just need to do something real quick. Do you mind taking my bag in with you?”

I hold up my bag of snacks I just got from one of the convenience stores outside the gate.

“What are you about to do?” 

She looks curious. I drop my arm holding the bag, knowing she isn’t going to let this go. 

“I just wanted to see if Avery is home… he lives in 304.”

“WHO IS AVERY??” 

“Shh! Lilia! What if he can hear you??” 

I look down the corridor where the even-numbered apartments are to the right of the elevators. They are opposite to Lilia’s apartment to the left, Apartment 303. I breathed a sigh of relief that no one opened the door. Not that I should have been worried. 

“But who is he?” her eyes widen.

“He was at your party but he’s shy so I don’t think you would remember.”

“OH! You mean the boy you were sitting with? I forgot to ask you about him,” she says thinking hard. “Do you like him?”

“I think he’s nice,” I say shrugging. “I just didn’t say ‘bye’ and wanted to apologize. I kind of just left him after we made up.”

“Is it that big of a deal?” her face scrunches. 

“Well I don’t think so,” I say thinking about it. “But if I hurt his feelings… I want to make sure I apologize, is all.”

She shrugs and grabs my bag.

“You sure you don’t want me to stay?”

I think she’s only asking because she wants a better look at Avery.

“No it’s okay,” I assure her. “It will only be a minute.”

“Okay~” she sings as she swings the bags, skipping down the hall to her apartment.

I make sure she is in and the door closes behind her. I take a deep breath and turn and make my way to the brass “304” on the blue-painted door. It’s a small way from the elevator but I can feel my heart pounding a bit nervously.

Why am I nervous?

It’s been a week since Lilia’s party and I have been so happy catching up with her, I haven’t really thought about stopping by Avery’s, until now. I take another deep breath and grasp the brass door knocker. I give it a few hard taps and hope it’s loud enough for anyone at home to hear it. On the other side I can hear a faint shuffling, a pause, and then the door opens just barely enough for me to see part of a familiar face.

“Umm… hi Avery,” I say awkwardly. 

“Uh…. hi,” Avery says quietly.

He doesn’t open the door further and he doesn’t look very happy to see me. I don’t know what I was expecting, but it wasn’t this. He’s acting like I’m a complete stranger.

“I just wanted to apologize.” I began, “For not saying bye at the party… for leaving you hanging.”

“It’s fine.” 

He slightly closes the door to look behind him briefly. He then opens it back as wide as before.

“Now’s not a good time Bree.”

At least he remembers my name.

“Oh okay,” I say, a little regretful. “I didn’t mean to bother you.”

“Bye.” he says and closes the door.

I stand awkwardly in front of the blue door that was shut so quickly. I’m a bit confused at his hastiness and I’m immediately sorry for intruding. I don't know what I was hoping for but I turn back around and head to Lilia’s.

Maybe he doesn’t want to be friends.

*          *          *

“Mom wants to know if you’re staying over again tonight,” Lilia says when I enter her bedroom.

“If it’s okay,” I say. “It’s just crowded at my place.”

“Oh! Mom said you can stay over every night if you want! She would adopt you if I asked!”

I’m so grateful that Lilia and I have made up. We decided not to bring up anything from the past and start fresh. I am even more grateful that I don’t have to stay at my place as much. I only go up to get fresh clothes and to do some chores or help with Jane.

Lilia comes up with me and hasn't left my side. She has no idea how much that does for me when avoiding Kenta. He and his arrogant friends have kept their distance since that day outside the gate and I have slept better than I have in weeks. Every now and then I wake up in a cold sweat, but I look over the bed, and there’s Lilia sleeping peacefully. It makes me feel safe.

“I wish your family would adopt me,” I say, kind of meaning it. “Dad and I still haven’t talked about what happened before your party.”

I tell Lilia about all my fights with mother. I usually chalk it up to it being “just another argument” but I don’t go into a lot of detail about the physical ones. Lilia was there when I got the scar on my forehead but I made an excuse for it: I shouldn’t have talked back. I didn’t want her to think differently of my mother. She is great to Lilia, and I didn’t want that to change.

“He hasn’t really been home, except for lessons?” Lilia asks.

“That and training, but after training, he’s back to work,” I explain. “I heard him talk to my mom about some promotion to officer, he’s been working on.”

“I see,” Lilia says, “Dad’s ready to be out. Heard him tell mom he’s ready for civilian life again.”

“Does that mean you’ll be moving?”

“Actually, no.” Lilia says with deep thought. “Mom would love to stay in Japan longer, especially with Sobo here. We would just be moving out of the apartments and out there.”

“I wish I wasn’t moving,” I say sadly. 

As much as we want to avoid talking about my family moving, it is inevitable.

“I know! Even more of a reason to adopt you!” Lilia says laughing.

“We just have to make the most of this year, okay?” I hold up my pinky for us to make a promise.

She pinky-swears and we laugh and come up with a list of things we want to do before next summer. We are in the middle of making post-moving plans when Mrs. Duncan knocks on the doorway.

“Girls, Cherry is here,” she announces as Cherry walks in from behind.

“Hello!” Lilia and I greet her together.

“Hi!” Cherry says smiling.

We’ve been talking more and she comes by often now that she knows I don’t hate her. I was a bit resistant at first but I realize she was there for Lilia when I wasn’t. I couldn’t be mad about that. 

“Girls, I’m making some ramen for dinner,” Mrs. Duncan says. “Does that sound good?”

“YES!” We shout in agreement.

She laughs and exits the room. Mrs. Duncan homemade ramen is so much better than the package kind at the commissary. Cherry sits down on the bed next to where we are making lists.

“What are you gals doing?” she asks. 

“Bree and I are making plans to meet up in nine years, when we’re both twenty-one!” Lilia says excitedly.

I know Lilia is happy about our plans but she doesn’t realize the sad look on Cherry’s face.

“You can meet us too!” I offer quickly.

Lilia realizes how insensitive she was and agrees wholeheartedly.

“Where are we meeting?” Cherry says a little perkier.

“We’re thinking of the Kitsune Lodge on base,” I say. “The one all the families stay in before moving here.” 

“Sounds good to me!” Cherry says happily.

We begin to share with her everything we want to do for the last month of summer and before I move at the end of the school year. It’s nice having Cherry around again. She has friends she does all her girly things with, but she says she misses just being able to play arcade games or not have to be so proper. 

“Girls! Dinner’s ready!” 

We get up excitedly and rush to the dining room. The savory smell of the broth fills my nose and my mouth waters at the sight of the noodles and all the toppings. I’m so glad to be eating again.

We are busy slurping our noodles and laughing and talking when the phone rings. I hear Mrs. Duncan say “are you sure?” and  “okay, I’ll let her know” before hanging up.

“Bree-sweetie, that was your mom.” She looks a bit downcast before continuing, “Your mom says you won’t be able to stay over tonight. She wants you home as soon as you’re done.”

I’m disheartened but I’m also concerned why I needed to be home.

“Did she say why?” I ask.

“I’m sorry, no,” Mrs. Duncan says. “She sounded pretty busy.”

“Okay Obasan,”  I say. I reluctantly finish my broth. 

“Am I allowed to stay over at Bree’s?” Lilia asks.

“I don’t think so,” Mrs. Duncan says. “But Lilia, Cherry is sleeping here tonight, that would be rude.”

Cherry immediately looks down but Lilia doesn’t notice this time.

“But mama!” She whines, “We don’t have a lot of summer left before the school year, and they’re moving at the end of it. Can’t you ask??”

“Lilia stop whining,” Mrs. Duncan shushes her. “You’ll have plenty of time before school starts. One night will be fine.”

Lilia’s mom isn’t a very loud or angry person, but when she scolds Lilia, Lilia knows better than to keep going.

“Fine,” Lilia pouts, ignoring the disappointed look on Cherry’s face.

“We’ll hang tomorrow!” I try to say brightly. “Cherry can show us the shop where she got her skorts. My mom couldn’t stop talking about how nice they were at the party.”

I would never wear a skirt, but if it looked like one in the front and they were really shorts, that was the best compromise for my mother and me. Plus, it made Cherry happy when we were interested in the same things.

“Oh I would love to!” Cherry says ecstatic. 

After finalizing the time we will meet, I head out. I decide to take the stairs since it meant prolonging the time I would be home. I don’t usually run into anyone but I hear the familiar sound of the banging of the heavy door to the stairwell from above. The corridor is barely lit by the emergency lights at every floor.

I’ve just passed the 4th floor when I hear the sounds of someone coming down the steps in my direction. I stop at the top of the staircase when I see who it is. My breath gets caught in my throat as I feel the sweat accumulate on my palms.

“Erm… Hello Bree.”

I try to say something… but I freeze. All I can do is stare at his dark figure coming closer. He takes the steps slowly one at a time until he’s standing next to me. I can sense him very close to me but my eyes are looking away at the steps ahead. I mentally count the stairs noting It’s only one staircase until the exit to my floor. 

I feel his cold fingers run up my palm before holding my right hand in his. I feel shivers run up my spine as I try to breathe. 

I don’t know how long it’s been before I feel him squeeze my hand and leave my side. I hear his steps going away, further down the staircase, but I still can’t move.

I hear a faint bang echo below followed by one ahead.

“BREE! WHAT ARE YOU DOING DOWN THERE!?”

I look up and into the eyes of my mother.

“GET UP HERE NOW! QUIT TAKING YOUR TIME!” she yells as she heads back to the apartment, the exit door banging loudly behind her.

The reverberant sound brings me back to my senses and I hurry up the stairs. The door feels heavier than usual but I pull it open and rush into the corridor. The bright lights are almost blinding but I feel the relief of the open space around me.

What was that?

*          *          *