How I Wish

Chapter Fifteen

"You look like hell" Jesse greeted me as I entered class Monday morning.

"I feel like hell" I sat down on the chair and rest my head on the desk. Since I found out about Trent's new dislike towards me yesterday, I wasn’t able to sleep last night. I haven’t eating dinner or breakfast and I’ve been feeling really stressed and emotionally and mentally drained.

"Renee is really friendly and I know you'll like her"

"Your new friend?" I asked uninterested.

"Yeah...you must have been really sick over the weekend."

"Mhhm"

The teacher begun the class and I tried my best to stay awake, but Spanish was a different story. I was out like a light for the whole class. When I reached my locker after class, I sat on the ground and rest my head in my lap.

"You can’t be that tired, you had a whole weekend to relax" Sean's voice alarmed me. "You look like shit... you were really sick huh?"

"Something like that. The lunch container is in my locker, I’m too tired to pass it to you."

"You know a lack of sleep can really f**k you up right?"

I stared at him mindlessly until his lips pulled up into a smirk. "Are you sleepless because Trent's got a new play toy? Baby girl, you've always got me." He smiled, stooping on his knees. He moved my hair strand from my face and kissed my cheek. It made me smile.

"Promise?"

His smirk was evident. "Have I made you think twice yet? Now, let's go. I'm hungry" He took my lunch from my bag and closed my locker then he helped me to my feet and placed his arm round my waist as we walked down the hall to the cafeteria.

"You like my new phone?" He asked

"Samsung galaxy?"

"S4. I really owe you a lot for that text." he laughed. I rolled my eyes as we entered into the lunch room.

"Did you get sick the last time I saw you?" Xavier asked feeling my head.

"Don't touch me."

"And more angry?" he wondered

"I can't believe you allowed Trent to disregard me like that." I lowered my voice.

"You continually associate me with Trent. I am not his keeper. He is a grown boy and he makes his own choices. Stop bring me in your disputes" Xavier warned

"Humph" I frowned. I knew Xavier had nothing to do with it but I just wanted to say it, get it out... resist what has truly happened... but on the wrong person. I will have to talk to him about this sooner or later about how I feel. However, the persistent voice in my head is telling me that he will not care and that I’ll embarrass myself.

"Guys come meet Renee" Jesse called from the table.

"I'm sorry" I apologized to Xavier

Surprised flashed across his face as a smile played on his lips "you must be sick" Xavier said as he pulled me into his arms.

As we walked over to the table, I fully understand why they hit it off so quickly. She was a clear brunette but she had amazing blond highlights in all the right places. Her makeup looked professionally done and her smile look expensive. I am happy I turned in my towel.

"Hi" she smiled "I've been told you're new too. Maybe you can help me through all of this"

I slapped a smile on my face "yeah, you've got Jess though so you should not have much trouble."

"You're right. Hi Sean, nice to see you again. Are you feeling better from Saturday?"

I raised my eyebrows at him and he laughed

"I was piss drunk. Yeah, I’m feeling much better, thanks"

We took our seat except Renee and Jesse. "Trent actually invited us over to eat lunch with him and his friends" Renee explained. I've never been invited.

"Talk to you guys later" Jesse promised.

They walked over to the opposite end of the cafeteria and I rose to my feet. "Can we eat outside? I know it's getting cooler but.... please."

They all agreed and we exited through the glass door and into the cold air. It was getting much more chiller than before. I constantly tried to push certain thoughts out of my head about Trent and Renee. This will get easier, I told myself.

And what a lie that was. 3 weeks have gone by and it has gotten worse. They are always together now, I really don’t understand why. The worse thing about it is that she is in our business class too, as if I didn’t already had it bad. Turns out Renee and Trent's (girl) friends actually get along really well. It all works out.

I've been going crazy. I’ve been finding it hard to focus on test and when writing my papers. But it has to get done. I need to get as far away from here and as soon as possible.

I have to try and at least talk to him, right? Embarrass myself one more time before I give up on us. I can’t change the fact that I’m in love with him.

After dinner, I pulled on a jacket and headed towards his house. It was a 20 minute walk but it gave me time to think about what I wanted to say to him.

When I reached the front door, I took a deep breath and knocked. I didn't realize I was holding my breath until the door opened. Renee's caramel brown eyes met mine with equal surprise. Is this the wrong door? I checked the room number again.

"Uh umm, is Trent home?" I asked, not wanting to know the answer

"Oh, he's in the shower right now. Do you want to come in and wait?"

"No, it’s okay. I'm just going to leave."

"Are you sure? Okay, I'll let him know you stopped by"

"That's not really necessary. Honestly, just please pretend I wasn't here" I laughed it off but inside all hope was gone. I just wanted to crawl into a hole and stay there.

Before I went back home, I visited the creek. It was so peaceful and calm that it made me able to think. When I got home, I joined my mom around the kitchen island.

"Mom, can I switch schools?" I asked as I rest my head on the counter.

"Why honey? You have just a few more months left."

"Exactly so it won't be a big deal. This girl transferred from Raven land High which is just 20 minutes away by car. You can drop me there on your way to work." I explained. Time alone at the creek really helped me figure this all out.

"But your school is only 5 minutes away on foot. Leigh, be honest with me, why do you want to switch now? On Saturday a crowd of people came here just to see if you were alright. I thought you liked it there."

"Trent and I are history and just seeing him with his new girl friend is like a knife to the chest. Please mom. I'll do anything" I pleaded.

"You'll be my maid of honor?" she questioned.

I thought about that for a minute. Watch Trent and Renee continue their romance or be my mom’s made of honor? "Deal" I smiled. "When can I transfer?"

"Slow down honey, first I have to let your dad know so he can start the paper work. It should take about a week"

"Sounds good. Thanks mom."

"Let me know when you change your mind"

"I won’t. Good night"

I ran up to my room and called Ashlee.

"It's that bad?" she asked

“I honestly cannot take another minute. but at least now I will be able to focus, I’ll be twenty minutes closer to you and we can probably hang out more" I proclaimed.

"I don't know about this..." she mumbled "I'll call you back later."

Before I could tell her to not say anything to anyone else, she was gone. They will find out sooner or later anyways. I put my phone to charge and then gathered my things to carry into the washroom with me.

After a two hour bath, I pulled on Trent's sweats, a crop top, and let my hair hang to try. As I lay across my bed and stared at the ceiling, I heard a knock on my door.

"Sweetheart" I heard my dad's voice on the opposite end.

"Yes?"

"There is someone here to see you. Your mom said it was okay for him to come into your room. Can I let him in?"

"Mhhm" I had a feeling I knew who it was.

When my door opened and he walked into my room, it wasn't Xavier or Sean.