The Dark Wolf

The Meeting (Embry)

I was seriously out of shape. I had gained about 80#'s of baby weight and my body was quick to let me know it. Thankfully I had always carried my weight well but I still hated it and felt disgusting. I had what most would call a curvy body, but I just couldn't accept it as it was. After all that's one of the reasons John had left me, he felt I was chubby.  Halfway through the warmup I was gasping for air and sweating. I refused to look back at the coach. I would not be caught admiring again. I would not let him in. But I could feel his eyes on me. Curious and questioning why I wouldn't look at him. I ignored him, hoping he would tire of looking at me and decide I wasn't worth his time. Yet a part of me wanted to impress him. I wanted his attention. I finally decided that the only reason he was looking at me was because I was so out of shape and awkward. I wished he would stop looking at me. 

I couldn't explain why it made me so flustered and why I even cared. I was used to guys staring at me and I was good at ignoring them and not thinking twice about them. So why couldn't I just as easily dismiss him?  

Suddenly my thoughts were drawn back to something Ania was saying, I looked at her blankly as she waited for my answer. I had been so lost in thought that I had no idea she had been talking to me.  

"are you ok?" she asked. "you seem distant today" 

"yeah, sorry just lost in thought. It's been a stressful day with the girls" I lied. I couldn't tell her what I was really thinking, that the coach was totally hot and that I couldn't stop thinking about him and wanting to look at him.  

"well how about I take the girls tomorrow for a few hours and you can have some time to yourself?" 

I smiled at her "your the best" 

"I know" she giggled back making me laugh with her. 

"by the way, this is our coach, Gage" 

I turned around to see non other than the man I'd been trying to avoid staring at me again with curiosity and amusement in his eyes. Which instantly made me feel insecure as my mind raced with reasons why he would be looking at me like that.  

"what are you girls over here giggling about?" He teased 

Ania rolled her eyes and laughed a little, "he's always like this" she whispered loud enough for him to hear. I couldn't think of anything witty to say back so I just did what I do best, plastered a smile on my face and changed the subject "nothing, hey so if I can't do sit-ups is there something else I can do?" Oh great, that's an awesome way to impress him. Tell him one of your weaknesses. Perfect.  

He smiled and said "let's see you do a sit-up" 

"But I can't do them" I answered. 

"Just try" he said.  

I let out a sigh and laid down on the floor. I tried to do a sit-up and of course, couldn't. I tried again. Nothing. I tried and tried. I knew I couldn't do it. Stupid post-partum baby body, plus all the nerves I was feeling from looking ridiculous on something so simple. All the sudden he stopped watching me and without warning, just walked away. I reddened in embarrassment, apparently, I wasn't even worth his time. Nice, just like I thought. but instead of walking away he grabbed a weighted plate and returning he squatted down right next to me with the plate still in his hands. I was forced to acknowledge his muscular frame again and his alluring smell, which wasn't strong but still masculine with a hint of cologne. I wanted him closer, yet his closeness made me shaky. I looked at him with mistrust in my eyes, what did he expect me to do now? What I saw shook me even more. I fully expected him to have a look of disappointment or disgust with me but instead he just looked at me with confidence. Confidence? How could he have so much confidence in me? He doesn't even know me! No one truly does. So why is he looking at me like I'm so much more than what I'm showing him? It was unnerving but at the same time I longed to show him my true self. I had always been competitive. I wanted to be a warrior, a soldier. But I felt like I was too weak. I was told I was too weak, that I was lazy, that I would never survive any form of training. I was always disgusted at myself when I showed any weakness. I had always wished I was stronger, more graceful not this awkward, clumsy woman I am now. But I'd given up those ideas a long time ago. But as he looked at me, he seemed to know instinctively what I had always truly desired and he was determined that he could bring that part of me out. He took the plate and placed it on my feet and then told me "now try again". I looked at him unsure and untrusting but attempted another sit-up. To my surprise I was finally able to get one! As I sat up, I thought he would move away but instead he just gazed into my eyes with a somewhat smug look like "I knew you could do it". Then he smiled at me mischievously and said "good! Now do 25 more". 

WTF? 25 more? I could tell he was going to be the death of me. But I decided I didn't care. I struggled through the sit-ups taking way longer than anyone else. He waited patiently, watching the whole time. I fought for it. I gave those sit-ups everything I had, and I could see the admiration growing on his face. I couldn't believe it. Here I am sweating, overweight, totally unfit, mother of two, no makeup, just basic workout clothes and he's looking at me like I'm the fiercest woman he's ever seen!? Ha! There's no way, just wait until he really gets to know me, and he'll run the other way just like every other person that's gotten to know me. 

Somehow, I made it through the class with my composure, picked up the girls and then headed home for a shower and some dinner