LOST SOUL

RIDLEY'S POV "What have come over you, you have to stop this..., you've already tortured me enough please... I beg you, we are friends, we used to be lovers please don't do....." That was Jane's last words before I did the most horrible to her, this is not even the first time I'm doing this, I've been doing this for months now but only to random people. I never thought I'll do same to someone special to me and to be honest this whole s**t is really driving me crazy, I'm not always in control of myself when I'm doing those horrible things and neither do I always know what I will be doing at that point. It only becomes clearer when I'm done satisfying this stupid urge. The other day I almost did same horrible thing to James during the ritual of love making but we both got lucky that I got myself at the delicate time. ~~~~~~ ~~~~~~ Before I come back to this very day let me first introduce myself. My name is Ridley Scott but my friends call me Ley. I was born in the year 1775 at the Eastern part of Niagna. I was born full of life and energy, a little girl roaming around the village always with a smile on my face, Never hesitating to help the people around me. Many say I have a heart of gold unlike my mom but they don't know how hard I try so I won't turn out like her. I see most of her attitude in me but I always try my best suppress them so I can be the opposite of my mom. It was not difficult for a girl like me to make Friends and have people surround me. Everyone wanted to hang out with me owing to the reason that I'm too friendly and nice although most people was because of status. Being the only child of the Duchess of Niagna, people expected me to be the opposite of what I am but were thrilled when I didn't turn out as they expected. I didn't succumb to treating them like my mother does because it's not just what I do, I don't derive joy in seeing people worship me I just wanted to live a normal life. Growing up, everything I needed was provided for me even much more than I will always ask for. The only thing I lacked was the relationship between a child and her parents, it was fairer on my dad's side but with my mom, there was no relationship at all but it didn't really bother me because I had a lot friends who are dying to be with me all the time so I didn't long for her company that much. I actually know that most of them only hanged out with me because of my parents wealth and status but at least few of them are with me for me. ~~~~~~ ~~~~~~ I was a normal girl with dreams to achieve, a kingdom to rule later in life and a very beautiful life to live but little by little things changed within me and I found my Soul lost and trapped in my own Body and not just that, I literally started living a confused and horrified life filled with strange occurrence that were unexplainable. I don't know if it was as a result of the last Halloween celebration that I experienced before everything changed or something else but what I know is, it was not normal. My people believed strongly that this Halloween ceremony awakens hidden evil so they can destroy it but I didn't really believe that but the reason I turned out this way is something I couldn't just conclude on. Well let me take you back to life before it all started. My mom married a commoner from another village and her being a royal it was not acceptable but she was too stubborn and stood on her decision and I guess she loves him because what else will be the reason for her to get married to him. Talking about the relationship with my parents it was really bad. The relationship with my parents was not a strong one, I grew up with a nanny and I barely saw my parents because they were always busy with running the affairs of the village or other things. I grew up to be attached to my nanny more than my own parents and it didn't really bother me, I never blamed my parents for once, I blamed the fact that we are royalty and need to serve the people. Most times I will always wish we were just peasants so I can know how a daughter to parents relationship feels. Quarrelling was a very common ritual for my parents it got to a point that everyone in the village knew about it, to me they just hated each other but it was not always like that. They used to be happy once. I can still remember the period my dad was sick my mom rarely went close to him, you may ask "where they always like that?", Where they always far apart?" but the answer is "no". They used to be a lovely couple that does almost everything together but suddenly they started arguing on something I didn't know about but all I know is that it had to do with me because my mom kept calling my name anytime they argued. As I grew older I realized that my mom was afraid I'll turn out too soft like my Dad and won't be able to rule the village well that's the reason she argued with my dad telling him to distance himself from me. Realizing all this was very painful then. Well after that period everything about them changed, they became distanced, stopped eating together and barely talked to each other to be sincere, I really missed them together. I won't pretend but there life really affected me both mentally and emotionally. Shortly after my Dad's illness he died and I thought my mom will change towards me and be closer but Instead she drifted further apart from me and it came to a point I rarely see her, leaving me with the choice of seeing her once in a week or sometimes twice. ~~~~~~~ It was just a normal day, the end of October that was after the celebration of Halloween, the people were all still high spirited from the celebration, the village was still decorated looking like the celebration has just begun and our castle was being cleaned and rearranged since Halloween is over. My mom doesn't really like Halloween but since is one of the ceremony our people do and it's so special to us, she has no choice but to go on with it as she doesn't have the power to nullify it. That October, I was seated in my room doing nothing in particular when I heard my name Ley!! Ley!! That was my mom calling. I was surprised that she would call me by this time of the day, she never calls especially not now that she has been very busy lately trying to settle the fight between the village socerrer and his neighbor. I can still remember the day they laid there complaint that was before the Halloween and to be honest the case was a boring one. Immediately my mom called, I left and rushed out to meet her because if I delay for even a second she will scold me. "Yes madam I answered". You may wonder why I answered my own mom with madam the reason is that she made me do it and according to her she feels more relaxed with me calling her madam rather than mum but to me I think it's just her ego that she was trying to feed, well whether I called her mum or madam it doesn't still change anything between us we will always be that mother and daughter that never had a relationship with each other. I went immediately to her chambers to answer her but she was not there "this can't possibly be a joke I thought out loud" My mom never jokes nor play with me, she's always very serious with me and everyone around her because she takes this her leadership stuff really serious and everything became even more serious the moment my Dad died. Leaving her Chambers I went to her washroom to check if she was calling from there but I didn't see her in there. When I couldn't find her, I abandoned the search and headed back to my room to get dressed so I can meet up with Jane who was the closest person to me and a very good friend. Walking along the road, I started feeling weak and scared at the same time for no reason so I decided to quit the journey and head back to my house to get some rest because I thought I was falling Ill as a result of stress. Immediately I got home, I went to my room and looked at my reflection on the mirror and found out that I have goosebumps all over my body, my face was pale, I was sweating profusely, I went ahead to feel my body and found out that I was running temperature. "I think I'm falling sick" was what I said to myself I reached out for the glass of water on my drawer, took a sip then laid down to have some rest. I tried to sleep but I couldn't because the thought of what I witnessed when I was seven kept replaying itself in my head with a voice that kept echoing INNER FEAR in my head. I know I was not thinking of it before I left earlier today so could it be that it's now my inner fear I wandered, what's inner fear I wandered again becoming more confused, I decided to get up and take a walk. Though I was weak at least I'm willing to take the risk if it's what will take my mind off all this madness. I strolled round our compound and even visited my favorite place of all which is our flower garden. I actually pruned the garden myself and I'm very proud of it. I found out that as I strolled, my body just came back to normal like nothing ever happened to me and it really amused me. Maybe I was nervous that I was going to visit Jane and her friends I concluded since I'm not the person that is comfortable in the gathering of many. I've been dodging her friends since I knew her, to her I just don't like them but to me I don't just know how to act when I'm with them so I never saw the reason of being with them anyways. As I was still beholding the beauty of nature, I was summoned by Mary to come over to the dinning and have my lunch. Mary is my nanny and the oldest worker in our castle and I'm really attached to her she's more than a nanny to me, I see her as a friend and guardian. Another thing about Mary is that she knows everywhere in our castle like the back of her hand and sometimes she just take me for a tour round our mansion since the rooms feel like it's a never ending one and everyday she takes me on a tour, I discover a new room. I went immediately to answer Mary because for some reason I'm beginning to get hungry this hunger urge was like never before. I ran straight to the dinning and ate my food, I even ended up consuming more than I've ever done in my entire life Mary was surprised and she termed it as one of the things one encounters while growing up but something in me didn't buy her explanation because it was like the more I eat, the more hungry I get. I couldn't actually tell what was wrong with me but whatever it was, I knew it was really bad. I still went on to eat extra five plates of food which got Mary surprised and confused at the same time. Even after eating the food, I was still very hungry, craving for what I can't just say and this time around the hunger urge came with a feeling of anger, uncomfortability and pains in my head and body. I looked up to Mary not knowing what to say "Oh s**t! What's in your eyes? What happened to you. I think I need to take you to the inn very fast". " What actually happened to my eyes I asked her with a very dull pitch" "it's blood shot red and you really look sick". "Yes I am sick" I replied her. "Why didn't you say anything when you found out" she said while touching my face to feel my temperature. "Nothing I didn't see it necessary" I replied as I stood up from the chair. We entered the carriage ride heading for the inn the environment was calm but I was not, I was feeling restless and angry and at that very moment I couldn't really believe what I was told I did. I only woke up and found myself on the bed with Mary staring at me with tears in her eyes. What...How did I get here? I asked. Looking so confused. "in the middle of the journey you started acting like an animal. You were so furious like you are angry about something. "I'm sorry ma for comparing your behavior with that of an animal Mary said". I actually couldn't believe her I know myself I'm not even hot tempered talk more of acting violently like about three minutes later, the doctor came in. "Ridley, I think your problem is as a result of you not letting out your anger, you should learn to let it out sometimes ok" I nodded my head but I still doubted his report. "Are this two joking with me? I asked myself". "I can't wait to go home and get some rest the bed here is too strong and uncomfortable" I muttered to myself. Immediately we got home, I went straight to my bed pondering on what I was just told. It really disturbed me, I was not in peace with myself as I couldn't get myself to sleep. "What Mary told me, is it true? I asked myself". I was still confused about the whole situation, then suddenly the event that took place when I was seven replayed itself in my memory. My dad was very sick then, and the symptoms of his sickness was really strange, he was sometimes aggressive and the most weird symptom was that he founded pleasure in cutting and eating parts of his own body. He was later secluded from people and sharp objects taken very far away from his reach but he still found a way to feed on his flesh. I was taken far away from viewing all this but as a curious child and one who misses her Dad so much, I had to sneak into his chambers where he was bounded so I can at least see my Dad because I couldn't just see a reason why they will distance me from my father if his sickness is not contagious. I reasoned all this and decided to go and see him without letting anyone know because definitely they won't let me see him. Entering his Chambers, I couldn't believe what I Saw him doing to himself. I found him tearing his flesh apart with his teeth and screaming in agony at the same time, I could remember him shouting and screaming to be free and at some point he would laugh but his eyes told the opposite. His eyes showed pains instead but his facial expressions depicted him laughing. He was seated there looking weak and helpless I couldn't help but cry for my dad. I wanted to free him from the chains because I thought if I do so he will be at peace but I was so frightened to do so and to even come near him the only thing I could hear myself say in tears was "Daddy please don't eat yourself, I love you" I was shouting with tears running freely from my eyes and at a certain point, he was calm and stopped feeding on himself and was calm. I was so devastated and since no one was around I left to get the first aid box so I can treat his injury. I ran so fast so I can get the box quickly, returning back to him I saw what I never imagined in my whole life I'll see. What I Saw really stigmatized me. Opening the door, I saw some beings about four in number, I can't really describe how they look, they were feeding on my dad's flesh. They didn't look human, one of them had two heads with a very strong tail and there eyes were bloodshot the other had a very dark eyes it was like he exchanged his eyes for a dark hole. As soon as I saw them feeding mercilessly on my dad, I screamed and ran away with fear shouting and running down the hall in tears "my daddy my daddy, please help!" I screamed. Non of the servants were around not even Mary. I became more afraid and ran out of the house to the huge gate waiting for someone to come back. I don't know where everyone went to that day but my Mum went to a meeting on behalf of my Dad's illness. I sat down shivering, I couldn't believe what I saw, I know my dad is dead but I couldn't accept it. I kept debating with myself, he was lying there helplessly I couldn't help but hope he is not dead, at some point I wished it was my imagination but at the same time everything felt so real. "Maybe I was just hallucinating, I wish I am" I said silently.