LOST SOUL

STRANGE APPETITE

LEY'S POV

I remember vividly that night as I was walking down the hall to the kitchen the hunger increased to the point I had no choice but to run to the kitchen, as I was running I bumped into Gabriel at the kitchen door.

Gabriel was the chief cook,a little bit advanced in age and also in charge of everything pertaining to feeding, providing food for all the ceremonies my mom hosted and making sure everything was in other.

That very night when I bumped into him he queried me to the point I couldn't take it anymore

"Ma'am it's too late, you shouldn't be here" he said "I know, I'm here for food I'm hungry" I replied. "Ok, which food do you want to eat so I can make it for you " he asked further " no don't bother I can do it myself" I replied. As I tried to enter the kitchen he stopped me "wait, you know the Duchess won't be happy if she finds out you made your food by yourself" he said. "She's not here now and besides I feel like making the food myself" I replied. "But ma'am let me do, it's my job" he said.

At this point I was begining to get upset about the whole thing as the hunger intensified

"I said I'll do it myself" I replied in a very authoritative and harsh tone.

Seeing that he was getting me upset, he apologized and left. "Ma'am be careful in there and call me if you need help" he said and left.

I know that at that point I felt sorry for talking to him likes that but it's too late already, I couldn't take back the words even if I wanted to.

I went inside the kitchen and I saw an already prepared food in the cupboard so I hurriedly ate it from the pot and after eating I was so frustrated. I can remember crying because it seemed like I needed to eat something else but I just couldn't figure it out. It felt like I didn't even eat anything at that point and it was really frustrating I just wanted to rest and have peace of mind but it seemed like peace doesn't want to be with me anymore.

I sat down on the kitchen floor feeling so confused about the way I felt and I kept thinking about what to eat and get satisfied really.

After seating for a very short time, I stood up to drink water and as I was passing through the big table I perceived a smell from the table and it felt like the smell was calling me I wanted to check out what was smelling on the table but on a second thought I left the kitchen heading to my room.

"What am I even thinking" I said to myself as walked into my room. Reaching my room, I started feeling like one who really ate food and I was actually happy about that improvement "At least now I can sleep in peace" I murmured as I switched off the lights and laid on my bed covering myself up with the thick royal apparel.

In the middle of the night I felt a tap on my back, I woke up and sat on my bed but I didn't see anyone I can remember thinking it was ghost and screaming on top of my voice attracting almost everyone in the castle but now I know better.

"What is it" Mary said as she switched on the lights. "Someone touched me but when I woke up I didn't see anyone" I said holding on tight to my thick apparel.

She sent the servants that came with her back to there quarters. "You all can leave now, she is fine" she said and immediately they all left, leaving just Mary and myself.

She looked straight to my eyes "The reason you didn't see anyone around is because nobody is here, look around you it's just you and me and it was only you that was here few minutes ago" she said. "I know but it felt real" I said. She stared at me for long and then suddenly she changed the topic.

"Did you leave the windows open, I thought I locked it before you slept" she asked as she stood up to lock the windows. "I didn't touch the windows I don't know who opened it I said". "If you didn't touch then who did" she said starring at me like I was a liar.

I remember she looked at me like one looking at a sick person "by tomorrow I'll take you to see the doctor, you need medical attention because you have been acting really strange lately and I'm beginning to get worried" she said as she tucked me in, switched off the lights and left.

I opened the window curtains for no reason in particular, I laid back on my bed and starred through the window not really looking at anything and suddenly I saw the shadow of a Man leaving the premises, I thought he had stolen from us or he wanted to steal from us. I wanted to run and call Mary but remembering she won't take me serious, I discarded the idea. "Definitely she won't believe me if I tell her" I mumured.

Through out that night, I just kept mute hoping the day breaks so I can at least stop having bad thoughts.

It was finally morning the next day, I couldn't wait for Mary to assist me in getting ready for the day so I did everything myself and ordered that my breakfast be brought to my room.

Shortly after eating Mary walked in, she was surprised on how arranged my room was, she applauded me, praised me and apologized for arriving late.

"You are now a matured girl she said smiling as she took my plates out". I smiled back as I watched her leave.

She came back shortly " Hope you remember we are visiting the doctor today she said". " Yes I remember, but is it necessary" I asked. " Yes it is, you have been acting so strange lately and that's best for you, don't worry I discussed it with your mom this morning, that was actually the reason I reported late to You, and she's very much ok with it. She supported the idea" she replied. " Ok with it or she doesn't care" I murmured.

I know Mary heard what I said because after saying that she place her hand on my shoulder " you know your mom loves you right, she is very busy that's why it seems like she is distancing herself from you, but don't worry everything is going to be ok. Now go and get dressed we are leaving soon, the carriage is ready" she said.

When I was ready, we left to see the doctor Mary would have called him over but I guess she just wanted to leave the castle. We arrived at the Inn and Mary talked with the doctor for a while before she left, I couldn't hear what they talked about but the only thing I was able to hear was when Mary said I was seventeen years old.

I was given a bed to lie on so he can give me a proper check up. " Do you believe in demons" I asked the doctor looking straight into his eyes. "No, because they do not exist". After that question there was a short silence before something happened, something I couldn't also forget.

The doctor was touching my laps but the touch didn't feel like he was running a check up, I chose to ignore him but when his hands got to my panties I quickly removed it thinking it was going to end there. Instead of him to let me be, he grabbed me, forcefully raised my clothes as he tried so hard to suck my breast not even minding who I am and the consequence for such action. I tried pushing him away but he was more stronger than I was and I can remember biting him so badly on the neck, it was so bad that I almost pulled his skin off.

He screamed so loud, Mary rushed in and saw me biting his neck. She was able to free him from my grip and adjust my clothes well. I was so glad that I was able to teach him a little lesson.

"Ley! What has come over you" Mary asked. " It was his fault he tried..." Before I could finish the sentence the doctor cuts in. "She is really aggressive, insane and wild, she has a very bad condition of seeing things that are not real and slowly if not properly damaged will lead into grave consequences as you can see" he lied. "It's a lie, he was touching my breast" I said almost in tears. "you can see it, she is exhibiting it, she thinks she saw me touching her breast" he replied immediately.

Mary was so disappointed in me, I know she was not expecting me to exhibit such shameful act "why did you do that to someone that wanted to help you" she asked. " He didn't want to help me, he wanted to Take advantage of me I cried". "What is wrong with you, can you please stop with all this, the doctor just confirmed you see things that are not real and you are still saying he was trying to take advantage of you, don't you want to help yourself out of this" she said with tears gathering in her eyes. "But I'm not lying and I have never told you I've seen something that I didn't actually see, you have to believe me this once" I said in tears.

Mary looked away from me and concentrated on the doctor. "I'm sorry for what she did" she said. "It's fine he replied".

The fact that Mary just apologized to that monster really made me angry and I felt like killing him.

"What will we do about her, what can we do to help her" Mary asked. " The best option there is to lock her up, don't let her leave the castle it will help curtail her imaginations so it won't be a wild one" he replied.

I know the doctor said that so he can punish me for refusing to give in to what he wanted.

"Is there no other way?" Mary asked. "I'm afraid not" he replied. "Alright I'll discuss it with the duchess and hear what she has to say" Mary said.

We left the Inn and headed to the castle. Through out the ride, Mary didn't speak to me. In the middle of the ride, I had to say something "I'm sorry" I said because I couldn't stand her being mad at me. "It's alright, but I'll appreciate it if you don't do such ever again" she replied. " I promise I won't" I said as I hugged her.

Reaching the castle, Mary and I was able to meet my mom. Mary told my mom everything that happened, I couldn't even tell my mom that the doctor tried taking advantage of me because telling her is a waste of time she won't also believe it. She never believes what I say.

"The doctor said that the only way to help her is by locking her up and not letting her go out" Mary finally said.

I could see from my mom's facial expressions that she was so angry and that she felt insulted by the doctors final decision. "Who does he think he is telling me what to do and how to raise my own daughter" she said. "Nothing is wrong with my daughter she is only acting so weak like her father" she said out of anger.

Hearing her say those words really made me sad, I couldn't stop the tears from rolling freely from my eyes. I ran out from her presence without even asking her to excuse me. I was really hurt by her words. She called my father and myself weak. I was trying so hard to forget about my Dad and she finally ruined it all by making me remember him all over again.

"My father is not weak" I murmured to myself as I walked into my room. I needed someone to talk to so I thought of Jane. I left immediately on the carriage heading straight to her house.

I greeted Jane's mom and as I was talking with her mom she came out "oh Ley you are here" she said. I walked up to her and hugged her subbing. " What is the matter" she asked. "Let's go outside there is something I want to tell you" I replied.

She took permission from her mom and we left.

"So what is it you wanted to tell me" she asked. "It's the doctor" I replied." What about the doctor" she asked giving me all her attention. I told her everything that happened between the doctor and I, she was really shocked. I know she didn't expect me to tell her something like that, I guess she was thinking I was going to tell her that I've seen another horrible thing but instead I told her that.

" How can he do something like that and even lie to make his actions worst" she asked. I couldn't even reply her I just cried like a child. The reason I cried was because Mary didn't believe me, and that she might be seeing me as the doctor portrayed me.

Jane couldn't stop raining abuses on the doctor. "It's men like him that needs to be beheaded and not just paraded around the village naked, that verdict is not painful enough" she said out of anger.

At that point I remember vividly that I was not even feeling anything again, my emotions just changed and it felt like nothing happened. "I have forgiven the doctor and have let go" I said. Jane was so surprised at me. "For me I have not and he will pay one day" she replied.

Being so hungry, I had to end the discussion with Jane so I can go home and eat.

"I'm really hungry, I need to go now thanks for everything and for believing anything I say to you" I said. "It's alright, I'm your friend and if I don't stand for you who will" she said. We hugged and I left.

Opening the gate I sighted my mom, it seemed like she was heading to the court room but she stopped immediately she saw me and then started walking towards me. Coming across each other I wanted to pass her but she held my hand

"Hope you are good" she asked. I was shocked hearing her ask me that, that is the first time she has actually looked out for me. "I'm good" I replied and then tried walking out but she stopped me again and then smiled.

I couldn't believe she smiled at me, I was actually expecting her to scold me since I walked out of her presence earlier. I smiled back at her and at a time, I got too emotional that I didn't know when I gave her a tight hug and as I hugged her tears rolled down from my eyes.

That was actually the first time I hugged my mom, I don't know what happened to her that she acted like that towards me but whatever it is that happened to her I hoped it happens again.

Refraining from the hug, she touched my cheeks wiping the tears from my eyes

"I'm sorry about the way I treated you earlier, I hope you understand I was under pressure and all I wish is that you turn out to be a great leader someday" she said looking me in the eyes.

"I understand" I replied staring at her face.

Looking straight into her eyes, I could see that she was really tired, stressed out in pains, her eyes were dull and faint red. I can remember wishing I was able to take the pains away from her. At that very moment I decided not to be hard on my mom, it's not her fault because she too doesn't have time for herself and just that single action from her made me realize she loves me, Mary was actually right.

"You can go to your room and rest" she said while arranging my hair. "Yeah I will" I replied.

Shortly after, she left while me on the other hand hopped to my room smiling. This is actually all I've always wanted, to be able to hold my mom close.

I went straight to the kitchen with happiness singing a song, I walked from one kitchen compartment to another looking for what to eat.

The food I was seeing there was not enticing me at all, I kept searching hoping I see something satisfying to eat.

After a long period of searching, I decided to give up on the search for food and manage the bread and jam I saw in the cupboard earlier but as I was going to get it I perceived the same smell I perceived last night. I checked it out this time around and I found out that it was coming from the table I went closer to perceive it, it was the smell of an animals blood. I was having this strong urge to taste the blood, I actually tried my best not to but I ended up licking the blood off the table.

"What are you doing" Mary asked in shock as she walked in to behold the unexpected, at first I didn't react to her voice because I was engrossed in what I was doing. "What are you licking off that table" she asked again but this time around she came closer, and saw it was blood. "What!!" She screamed.

Realising myself, I stopped and begged her not to tell anyone. I couldn't believe myself, I couldn't accept that I've just licked blood off the table like an animal.

"Out of everything I'll have an appetite for it's blood. That's really a strange appetite" I thought to myself.

"Please don't tell my mom, I won't do it again" I pleaded.

"Now go and wash your mouth thoroughly and meet me in the garden" Mary said.

I left hurriedly to my room, entered the bathroom and as Mary said I washed my mouth repeatedly.

I stared at the mirror for a while looking at myself considering the fact that I just licked blood off the table for no reason.

In as much as I was disgusted by my actions, I couldn't tell if I liked it or not, neither could I tell if I regretted it or not.

I starred at myself for a while then left the bathroom to meet up with Mary.

I saw her standing looking lost " I'm here" I said.

She looked at me