Mad Dog

Chapter 2 - Wasting Away

I awaken to a bright light, much too bright. I wanted it to sink into the earth where it belonged. I cover my face and turn over, wanting nothing more than to sleep again and never wake up. Blissful silence fills the air. It's almost deafening clouding my ears with the nothingness I crave. Too soon, I hear the opening of the door.

"Good morning, miss. It's time to get up. Madam has requested you for the tea party this afternoon."

I don't bother to move.

Why should I?

What did it matter?

Teaparties. Banquets.

Damn them all I wanted, none of it.

To sit there as I'm used to faking everything.

How tiring.

Everything was so tiring.

I close my eyes, praying for sleep again, only to suddenly feel the covers yanked off. I lay there dazed for a second, then feel the fire in me from past night boil and overflow. Without uttering a word, I got up out of bed, and before she could see what was happening, I had her on the floor with my hands around her throat. I laughed, watching her struggle beneath me.

"Does it hurt?" I cackle. "Do you feel your mortality in my hands? I wonder if I kept you like this, how long it'd take you to die?"

I laughed again before leaning low, not caring that her face was turning blue. "Take the covers off me again, and I will be delighted to find out."

I let go of her, then headed back to the bed, not bothering to check if she was still alive. Pulling the covers over my head, I barely see her quivering frame rushing out the door. I'll never forgive any of them. I won't act as their caged dog anymore. I'll become a mad dog till I'm put down. I smile and close my eyes, listening again to the nothingness that this room seemed to have. Before I knew it, I was asleep. It wasn't so bad this time. I dreamt I was having tea with my father. The tantalizing scent of orchids and lavender fill the air. He looks like he did before that day. His hands seem too big for the teacup. Eyes lost in thought while reading the newspaper. He looked so dashing back then. He looks up and smiles at me, and I try to smile back, but I can't. I know this is all a dream, so I savor what I can from it. To soon, I feel myself shaking awake hard. My eyes flash open to see Rohans mother. Without blinking, I slapped her with every bit of strength I had, leaving a cut and welt on her face. Stunned, she staggered back, clutching her cheek. I calmly watch. Like the dog I am waiting to strike.

"How dare you!" She shrieks.

As if that was my queue I pounce on her like a wild animal wrestling her to the floor biting and evading her blows on the way down I pin her beneath me and hit her hard in the mouth.

"Good morning, Madam." I say eyes wide and feral. I pull her by her hair till her face is close to mine. "It seems you wanted to pay me a visit."

I slap her again and again till she's sobbing and trembling from fear.

"Let's make a deal, Madam. From here on out, you don't step a foot in this room. I am no longer your play thing."

I get up and begin to drag her out by her hair. She stumbles up to walk as a way to keep me from ripping her hair out. I fling the door open and drag her into the hall for all to see.

"From this day forth, anyone who comes into my chambers will feel my wrath. Make this the last time I see you." I tell her through my teeth.

I leave her there to crumple on the floor while the servants run to help her slamming the door as I go. Not wanting to sleep any longer, I sit at the window, the one comfort I had in this room. I was put in the back of the house, an insult to some, but a comfort to me. I enjoyed the fact that the only thing I could see from here was the garden that no one entered except to tend. It was too small and plain to be used for any parties, so it sat empty day after day. I enjoyed it. Not having to look upon another human being was comforting. I sat there for what must have been hours. One moment, it was daylight, and the next, it was dark. It went unnoticed by me. I could care less if I spent the rest of my days in this chair staring at that fruitless garden. Finally feeling drowsy, I slept. Again, my night was met with dreams. I dreamt it was my 16th birthday. Everyone was there surrounding me. I smile at them all, wanting to rush and hug them but not wanting to possibly mess up the dream. Suddenly everything goes quiet as my brother Van reaches forward, presenting me a present and I feel as if I don't want to open it. I look up at Van, pleading he not make me open it, but he just stares with a smile fixed on his face. Like a puppet at a play. I feel as if the air around me had gotten colder. As if the air was being sucked out of the room. I couldn't breathe. I knew I had to open it so slowly, I do. Inside lay a bloody beating heart with a necklace, my necklace, wrapped around it. Horrified, I want to fling it away, but I can't will my body do it. Instead, as if on its own, I reach into the bloody heart rip out the necklace and put it on. I shot up straight in bed, clutching my chest, trying so hard to breathe. It was impossible how could I breathe when they couldn't. I succumb to the feeling. If I could feel it, maybe it'll finally happen. Instead, it seems to ease the pressure, and I begin to breathe easier. I lay back in the bed and stare up at the ceiling. Thoughts of days to come circle in my head. I wonder how long till he comes for me. Was that enough, or will I have to go further? How much more do I have to do till I can get what I want? I roll over and drift back to sleep. Surely, tomorrow, he'd finally end it.