Mad Dog

Prologue Kill me, " I said. "If you won't love me, just kill me. There's nothing left to hold onto. " He flinched away muscles, twitching behind his eyes as he glared at me for the first time really seeing me. In his gruff, low voice, I heard him whisper. "I'll oblige." Before I felt the cold steel come down on my neck. ~~~ I gasped awake in my bed, clutching my throat with my hands. A strangled gasp escapes me as I fall to the floor. I could still feel the remnants of my death lingering in my body. I lie there defeated feeling the cold floor against my sweating brow as tears threatened to escape. I try to breathe through the pain. In through the nose. Out through the mouth. In through the nose. Out through the mouth. It became a deafening mantra as the pain raged through my body, but I would not permit myself to scream. Why did I deserve this? I raged inwardly. I asked for death, not extending torture. Was it not enough to beg him to kill me? Did he hate me that much? I lay there in anguish for what seemed like hours desperately praying for a true death this time. However, death did not come for me. Much to my dismay, I realized that slowly, the pain was receding. I grab the edge of the bed in an effort to pull myself to sitting only to have it slip from the sweat on my palms. I land hard, knocking the wind out of me. Inside of me, there felt like a fire was starting. A rage wanting to come forth and annihilate everyone that came into my presence. I grip the edge of the bed again. A stronger grip this time and force myself to sit up, ignoring the flares of pain rippling through my body. How much of a nuisance I must have been for him to torment me like this rather than giving me a righteous death. I sink my head into my hands, feeling something shatter within me. I began to laugh, feeling as if I had gone mad. Did he think he could keep me here? That I'd roll over like before? I laugh again. He must have needed me for something. It was like a bell in my head went off. Perfect clarity. He needed me for something. I felt hollow. As if my insides were emptied out and sand replaced. A constant leaking. I grab the pole connected to the bed and drag myself to standing. If he wouldn't kill me, I'd find someone who would. I take a step towards the door, wanting to run out as fast as my weak legs could carry me. Before I could reach it, the door flies open, and in he struts. Rohan. The sight of him fills me with disgust, but I could do nothing but hollowly glare at him. The rage inside me is building. "I see you're awake," he says coldly, barely sparing me a glance. I laugh manically at his idiotic statement. This caught his attention but only slightly enough to glance my way indifferently. "The nurse said you were suffering from a cold." I sharply turn my head to him. What did he say? "Now that I've seen you are doing better, I will take my leave." A cold? I grip my hands to my face. What does he mean a cold? My anger rises to the surface, and I stumble towards him, wanting to take his throat between my hands and end him with me. However, before I could make it there, the pain surged through me harder than before, and I collapse to the ground in a pathetic heap. Startled, he reached out to catch me before I hit the floor. "Alinia!" I faintly hear him say. With my last bit of strength, I let the words I had been holding in out. "I'll kill you," I say as the blackspots fill my eyes, and I'm left with nothing. Was this death? Finally. I close my eyes with a smile as I welcome it with open arms. What awaited me wasn't death, however. As I sank into the icy black pits, I soon realized I had fallen into a nightmare. All around me seemed to be fragments of my mistakes. Fragments of the girl I used to be. I saw my family alive and well. In that moment, everything was right. Sadly, moments don't last forever. In a flash, I saw myself in a pool of blood. The mangled bodies of the ones I loved scattered around me like dolls, and in the center of it sat Rohan. I could hear it. The maddening drip, drip, drip of my families blood falling from his blade. I can't keep myself from breaking. I cry out in misery, wanting to feel the warm touch of them again and cursing the man before me. Why didn't you let me die? I just wanted to die with them was that too much to ask for? I rush towards him, wanting to take my revenge even if only in the dream. He grabs my hand, pinning me to him, and for the first time in my dream speaks. "Sleep," and for some reason, I do I sink deep into the black pits, wanting nothing more than to escape this Hellish reality.