Mad Dog

Prologue Kill me, " I said. "If you won't love me, just kill me. There's nothing left to hold onto. " He flinched away muscles, twitching behind his eyes as he glared at me for the first time really seeing me. In his gruff, low voice, I heard him whisper. "I'll oblige." Before I felt the cold steel come down on my neck. ~~~ I gasped awake in my bed, clutching my throat with my hands. A strangled gasp escapes me as I fall to the floor. I could still feel the remnants of my death lingering in my body. I lie there defeated feeling the cold floor against my sweating brow as tears threatened to escape. I try to breathe through the pain. In through the nose. Out through the mouth. In through the nose. Out through the mouth. It became a deafening mantra as the pain raged through my body, but I would not permit myself to scream. Why did I deserve this? I raged inwardly. I asked for death, not extending torture. Was it not enough to beg him to kill me? Did he hate me that much? I lay there in anguish for what seemed like hours desperately praying for a true death this time. However, death did not come for me. Much to my dismay, I realized that slowly, the pain was receding. I grab the edge of the bed in an effort to pull myself to sitting only to have it slip from the sweat on my palms. I land hard, knocking the wind out of me. Inside of me, there felt like a fire was starting. A rage wanting to come forth and annihilate everyone that came into my presence. I grip the edge of the bed again. A stronger grip this time and force myself to sit up, ignoring the flares of pain rippling through my body. How much of a nuisance I must have been for him to torment me like this rather than giving me a righteous death. I sink my head into my hands, feeling something shatter within me. I began to laugh, feeling as if I had gone mad. Did he think he could keep me here? That I'd roll over like before? I laugh again. He must have needed me for something. It was like a bell in my head went off. Perfect clarity. He needed me for something. He needed me. I felt hollow. As if my insides were emptied out and replaced by sand. A constant leaking. I grab the pole connected to the bed and drag myself to standing. If he wouldn't kill me, I'd find someone who would. I take a step towards the door, wanting to run out as fast as my weak legs could carry me. But before I could reach it, the door flies open, and in he struts. Rohan. The sight of him fills me with disgust, but I could do nothing but hollowly glare at him. The rage inside me building. Choking me in its grasp. "I see you're awake," he says coldly, barely sparing me a glance. I laugh manically at his idiotic statement. This caught his attention but only slightly enough to glance my way indifferently. "The nurse said you were suffering from a cold." I sharply turn my head to him. What did he say? "Now that I've seen you're doing better, I will take my leave." A cold? I grip my hands to my face. What does he mean a cold? My anger rises to the surface, I see red, and I stumble towards him, wanting to take his throat between my hands and end him with me. I take a step forward when suddenly the pain surged through me harder than before, piercing my skull like a knife. I collapse to the ground in a pathetic heap. Startled, he reached out to catch me before I hit the floor. "Alinia!" I faintly hear him say. With my last bit of strength, I let the words I had been holding in out. "I'll kill you," I say as the blackspots fill my eyes, and I'm left with nothing. Was this death? Finally. I close my eyes with a smile as I welcome it with open arms. But what awaited me wasn't death. As I sank into the icy black pits, I soon realized I had fallen into a nightmare. All around me seemed to be fragments of my mistakes. Fragments of the girl I used to be. I saw my family alive and well. In that moment, everything was right. Sadly, moments don't last forever. In a flash, I'm standing in a pool of blood. The mangled bodies of the ones I loved scattered around me like dolls, and in the center of the c*****e he sat. Like a lord on his throne. Dominating all. Rohan. I could hear it. The maddening drip, drip, drip of my families blood falling from his blade. I can't stop myself from breaking. I cry out in misery, grasping desperately for anyone, anything still with me. Wanting to feel the warm touch of them again while cursing the devil of a man before me. Why didn't you let me die? I just wanted to die with them was that too much to ask for? I rush towards him, wanting to take my revenge even if only in a dream. Have him taste the same despair I did. He grabs my hand, pinning me to him. I feel the firm warmth of his skin against mine. It's a sickening comfort and for the first time in my dream he speaks. "Sleep," he commands. And for some reason, I do I sink deep into the black pits, wanting nothing more than to escape this Hellish reality.