The sad story of the babysitter

Chapter fourteen - Soon we'll be together

Lily's POV:

People in school keep throwing me looks. I do not know what to do to avoid them. I don't understand why Maddie said all of these things. It's not Lizzy's fault that Liam chose her. The short version of the story is that Maddie liked a boy named Liam. One day she was going to ask him out, but she saw him with my sister. He was asking her out and of course, she accepted. One thing, which I have to mention, is that Lizzy didn't know that Maddie likes him. She never told my sister. Now she thinks that Lizzy took the boy, which she used to like, and because she is not alive, she is going after me. I wonder why now. She could do this, years ago. 

I got up from bed and when I got ready. I went downstairs for breakfast. On the table was only my mom. I hope that she won't criticize my clothes today. 

- Hey, where is dad?

- He had to go out. It's only the two of us.

- Ok, I don't mind. 

- Does people still check you in school?

- How do you know?

- Because I am your mother. Moreover, I heard it. 

- When and from who?

- One day I passed by your school and heard people talking about you. I want you to do something about it. You can't let people talk like that about you. 

- Thanks, mom. 

- If people understand that this is true, I don't know what will happen to us. 

- Wait a second! I thought... never mind.

- What now?

- For a second I thought that you care about me and actually want to help me. I guess that this will never happen. 

- I care about you. 

- Then show it. All you and dad think is about your reputation. Both of you have never cared about Lizzy or me. That's why she did it. 

- Just because you can't understand some things, it doesn't mean that they are not true. We care about you. A lot more than you think. 

- Really? What if this never stops and people keep talking about it?

- You better make something. I won't leave the things like that. If you don't do it, I will and I promise you that you won't like it. 

- For once I wish that I could say that I am proud to have a mom like you. 

- You can say how much you want. I will be happy to hear it. 

- I won't say it. Not if you don't change. I will go now. I don't want to be late for school. 

With that, I got my backpack and left. I don't understand how she can be so heartless. Everyone is happy to have parents, but I am not. I wished that they were gone. I am trying so hard to understand them, but I can't. I have no idea why they are treating me like that. 

I was lost in my thoughts when someone grabbed my hand. It was Ryder. 

- Good morning. How are you?

- I am fine, thanks. 

- Your eyes tell me other. 

He made me stop and looked me in the eyes. How he can be so nice and my parents not. Ryder rubbed my cheek with his thumb and wiped a tear, which I didn't realize was there. I return a weak smile and he pulled me for a hug. When we pulled apart, both of us continue walking. 

Soon we arrived at school. Ryder waited for me to get what I needed from my locker and then we went to the boys. Some people walked by us and gave me a look, which made me nod my head down. 

- Hey, don't mind them. The people here don't know the truth. 

- But since yesterday's drama, I don't think that I should appear here. 

- Don't think about it. 

- Yeah, Ryder is right. If you keep thinking about it, you'll feel bad. Get over it. - Mason said

I have never imagined that the school bad boys will show support to someone like me. I won't lie that I am glad to have them by my side. 

After school, I went home. Later mom and dad came for dinner. She looked at me and I gave her a small smile. We sat at the table, but she kept looking at me.

- Mom, are you ok? Why are you looking at me like that?

- I am waiting for you to tell me that you have resolved the problem. 

- What problem? - dad asked

- She knows. I'm listening. 

I didn't say anything and nodded my head. 

- You didn't do anything, right?

- Mom, I...

- You did absolutely nothing. I wanted you to do one thing and you couldn't do it. That's it! I am doing it my way and I don't care will you like it or not. 

- Please don't do anything. I promise that after the weekend I will resolve it. 

- I gave you a chance and you didn't use it. Now I will take control. 

- What is going on here? Will someone explain me? - dad asked

- People in school still talk about her and her sister, and like usual she isn't doing anything to shut them up. I won't let people talk about us. 

- Is it true what your mom said?

I felt like I want to say something, but no words were coming from my mouth. 

- Lily! I asked you something. 

- Yes, it is true. I tried, but...

- You didn't do anything. You didn't even try. - mom said

- It's not that easy. Moreover, no one will believe me. 

- That's not my problem. Since you don't want to do anything, I will. Go in your room. 

- But mom...

- NOW!

I got up and left. I felt tears in my eyes. In the moment I walked into my room, I broke down. I want to tell them so many things, but this only will make everything worse. My phone light up and I saw a message. It was from Ryder. 

Hey, how are you? Call me if you need a talk.

This is sweet in its own way. 

I am fine, but thanks for caring. 

Yes, I lied to him. I just don't want to involve him in this. I know that he won't like it and I don't want him to do something, which I might regret later. 

I took a piece of paper and started writing on it.

Probably when you read this, I will be dead. You were the reason why Lizzy die and you will be the reason why I will do it too. From you, I will never get care, support, and love. I wanted to be like the normal kids, who have happy families, but I will never have it. I tried to understand you, but I never could. When Lizzy and I were little kids, you treated us so well, but since we grew up, you two have changed. Later I realize why it was all that. You can control a kid easier. You didn't like that Lizzy was independent and that's why you treated her like that. I don't want to go through the same things as her. You are not the parents, which I used to know. Since Lizzy's death, everything has changed. All the things, which you used to do to her, you started doing on me. I don't want to live with parents like you and I don't care what people will say when they understand that the other girl has killed herself too. Even dead, my sister still cares more about me than you two. That's why I want to be with her. Lizzy was my only friend. With her, I could share everything. Unlike you, she was listening to me and never judged me. My sister liked me the way I was. You can't do anything. I have already took this decision. 

After I finished, I read what I have written. My parents don't need an explanation. I took the letter and tore it into little pieces. I sat on my bed and pulled out Lizzy's letter. It makes me cry every time when I read it. I pulled the quilt over me and fall asleep. 

- Lily, come here. We will be late. 

- I am coming. Calm down. 

- Finally. What took you so long?

- I just needed to do some things. 

- I don't want to know. Let's go now. 

We went to school and some people looked at me. 

- She is pretty right. This is my sister Lily and I am so proud of her. - she said and hugged me

- Thank you. 

- For you always. We have to go. 

I wanted to grab her hand, but I couldn't. She was like a ghost. 

- Lizzy. Wait! Don't go. Lizzy!

With that, I woke up. It was just a dream. I miss her so much. Soon we'll be together. This time I won't let her go away. Finally, we will be together, without our parents. I know that she won't be happy, but she has to get used to it. 

I wiped my tears and went to sleep again. 

In the morning I got up and checked the time. It was early. It's Saturday and I went to my parents' room to make sure that they are still sleeping. I left my phone in my room if they decide to call me. I got what I needed and walked out. I decided to walk today. The good thing is that there were fewer people. Probably most of them were still sleeping. 

After like an hour and a half of walking I reached my destination. I sat on the edge of the wooden bridge. I started thinking about Ryder. He doesn't deserve it. Not after all the things which he did for me. Ryder was there for me when my parents weren't. He tried to do what my sister was doing and to be honest, he was very good. I won't lie that I will miss him. I know that we didn't like each other at the beginning, but I think that we could manage to become friends. 

- Lizzy, are you here?

I felt the familiar breeze. 

- I need your help. 

I felt it again and as usual, I followed it to the shore.

What is the problem?

- I want to be with you, but I don't want to hurt Ryder. 

Lily, don't do it. Please, don't. You can't be with me. 

- But why? I want to. I can't stand mom and dad anymore. 

I know but think about him. If you really like this boy, you won't do this to him. 

- I can't continue like that. I'm sorry Lizzy, but I have already taken this decision. 

Please, Lily. If you love me even a little bit, you won't do it. 

- It's too late for you to try to dissuade me. The only thing that I'll be sorry about is that I won't have the chance to tell him goodbye. 

Lily, listen to me. It's not worth it. Don't do it. 

- You can't change my mind. I want you to know that I love you. 

I know and that's why I am begging you. Please Lily, for once listen to me. 

- I told you. It's too late. 

With that, I went back to the end of the bridge, but this time I didn't sit down. I thought one more time about everything before I do it. How one girl in school said, nobody will miss me. I wasn't important for no one. My parents don't care for me, I don't have friends. There is no reason for which I have to live. 

Without more thinking, I jumped in the river. I heard a voice, but it was too late. I felt how I was going down. Soon we'll be together and this time nothing and no one will separate us. I love you, Lizzy.