The sad story of the babysitter

Chapter ten - It's time to go home

Lily's POV:

Yesterday was a good day. I won't lie that I felt better. Even Ryder wasn't annoying as usual. I still don't believe him completely, but it felt good for someone to show some type of care. I need to stop breaking down in front of him. Ryder doesn't need to know what is going on with me. I don't feel ready to tell him the whole story. This is something personal for me and I don't want the whole school to understand it. 

I woke up and saw a hand wrapped around me. I turned around and saw that it was Ryder's. Now I realize that I am in his room. All I remember is that we watched a movie last night. I don't know what happened after it. I tried to get up, but he didn't let me. Maybe I have to wake him up. 

- Ryder, wake up. I need to get up. 

- Give me five more minutes. 

- No, I won't give you. Wake up right now. 

- But what if I don't do it?

- I will make you. Now really, will you let me go? Soon the girls will wake up and I need to make breakfast. 

- Breakfast can wait. 

- No, it can't. 

- I want to sleep. 

- You can sleep how much you want, but I won't be here. Let me go right now!

- I told you that I won't do it. - he said and started tickling me

- Please stop. - I said laughing

Of course, he didn't. I am mad at him, but I can't show it. I can't stop laughing. Soon he grabbed both of my hands and looked at me. I did the same. We were looking into each other without saying a single word. I don't know what is happening, but I feel uncomfortable. Like every time when I am close to him. Ryder is the first person who is that close to me. I won't count his sisters, because I am babysitting them. We have to be close. 

- If you let me sleep a little bit more, I won't tickle you. 

- I told you that you could sleep how much you want. 

- But I want you to be here. 

- Why for you is so important? If we were doing something, I understand, but literally is just asleep. 

- Will you do it or do I have to tickle you again?

- Fine, but you have ten minutes. Then I am getting up. 

With that, he let go of my hands, laid back down, and snuggled in me. I thought that miss Collins is paying me only to watch Mia and Lea, not Ryder as well. I won't lie that for some reason this feels nice. I know that this probably is not real and he is doing it on purpose, but I will enjoy it. Probably no one else will do it. He took my hand and wrapped it around his neck. I am very confused. I didn't say anything and started playing with his hair. Now we look like those girly movies in which every couple is doing this. With one main difference. We are NOT a couple. Ryder doesn't need me. There are better girls for him. 

I looked at him and saw that he was sleeping. I won't lie that he sleeps cute, same as his sitters. Probably they have taken it from him. I slowly started to close my eyes until I fall asleep. 

I woke up two hours late. I looked at my phone and it was already 10:00 am. He was supposed to sleep only ten minutes. 

- Ryder, wake up. It's 10 am already. 

- Five more minutes.

- You said that the last time. I need to get up and make breakfast. 

- But I want to sleep. 

- Sleep if you want to, but I have to get up. Can you let me go?

Ryder opened his eyes and looked at me. I return with a small smile. What break the silence was a loud noise coming from downstairs. Both of us got up from the bed and went to see what is going on. I went to the kitchen. It was all dirty. 

- What has happened here? It looks like there was a bomb. Girls I need an explanation. 

- Well we saw that you and Ryder were sleeping so we decide to make the breakfast. - Lea said innocently

- Why didn't you just wake me up?

No one of them said anything. Soon Ryder came. He looked surprised and then started laughing. I don't see anything funny here. 

- Ok, you two go clean yourself and I will clean here. Will you eat scrambled eggs?

- Yes, we will. - the girls said and left

- Do you need help? I can clean and you can make breakfast. That way it'll be faster. 

- If you want to, ok. I won't mind some help. 

Ryder started cleaning and I make breakfast. Since it was already late, I decide to make something simple. When I was done, I called the girls and all of us sat to eat breakfast. Silence. No one was talking. The girls finished with their eggs and went to their room. 

- Did I do something?

- No, they just get sad about the smallest things.

- I'll go and talk with them.

I went to their room and knocked on the door. Mia opened it and let me in. Lea was sitting on the bed. I hate to see sad kids. It's breaking my heart.

- Hey, I am sorry that I said those things to you. 

- It's ok. We made a mess. - Lea said

- Maybe, but now you know that if you want to cook something you should ask for help. 

- The next time we'll call you. - Mia said

- Do you like Ryder? - Lea asked

- What? Why are asking me this?

- Because you were in sleeping in his room.

- No, I don't. Not the way you think. 

I turned around to see Ryder, who walked away. Don't tell me that he get hurt or offended. I said the truth, which he already knows. Now I feel bad. I didn't want to hurt him. To be honest I didn't expect that he will be here. 

- Girls, you can do whatever you want. I will go and talk with your brother. 

I walked into his room and saw him laying on the bed. Does he plan to stay all day in bed? Maybe he is really sad from what I said. I slightly sat on the bed next to him. He didn't move. I know that he isn't sleeping.

- Ryder. Hey, Ryder. Are you mad at me?

No answer. I guess that it won't be this easy.

- Look, I am sorry if I hurt you. All I said was the truth, which you already know. I don't know why this made you sad. If I have offended you, I apologize for that. I don't like when you are mad at me.

Nothing. He didn't say anything. I looked at him and saw that he was actually sleeping. How did he fall asleep so fast? For the first time, I kissed the top of his head and laid down. I saw a smile on his face. I think that he just played me. Ryder opened his eyes and looked at me. His eyes are like dark chocolate. He got closer. We were inches apart. 

- I am not mad at you. - he whispered

- Then why did you walk away?

- Because it's kind of hurting me that you still don't trust me.

- I didn't say that I don't trust you. Only that I don't like you. 

- Lily, it's the same thing. You don't like me, because you don't trust me.

I didn't say anything. I have never thought that way. To be honest, I want to trust him, but something inside of me tells me that if I do it, I will make a mistake. I want to have friends, but I don't think that he is the right person for that. I can't forget that easy what type of person he used to be. I'll admit that lately, he is very nice. Maybe I should give him a chance. 

- Won't you say something?

- I... - but no words escape from my mouth

- It doesn't matter. - he said and turned to the other side

I felt how the tears in the corners of my eyes wanted to fall down. I already lost my sister. I don't want to lose another person who cares about me. Yes, I still don't trust him, but maybe the problem is in me, not in him. I need to let people get close to me. I can't always avoid them. 

- Ryder, I'm sorry. You have to understand that it's hard for me to trust everyone just like that. I want you to know that I have noticed everything, which you did for me this weekend and not only that. If you really are doing it, not pretending, I appreciate this. I am just scared to let someone get close to me. Something, which doesn’t give me the right to hurt the people who care about me. No matter that they are less. 

He didn't say anything. I ruined everything. Ryder is mad at me. I finally let the tears fall down. I know that I cry way too much, but sometimes I can't stop it. Why I am like that? I can't even keep one person close to me. It's just that since Lizzy, I don't think that I can find another person on who I can trust how I did with her. She means a lot to me and I can't compare her with anyone else. 

I wrapped my hands around my legs and get lost in my thoughts. My tears were falling like a waterfall. Soon I felt two hands wrapped around me. I looked up to see that it was Ryder. He carefully wiped my tears and pulled me for a hug. I can't continue doing this. If all of this turns that it was just a pretending, I don't know how I will feel. 

- Everything will be ok. I promise you. - he said and kissed the top of my head

I won't lie that this felt nice. Not only this. Everything which he did for me since he decide to be a good guy. I hope that I haven't fallen for the good boy. Imagine if he is not real. I don't want to think about this. 

Later I made lunch and after we ate in, Ryder and I played with the girls. We were playing a game when we heard the front door. 

- Mom, dad! - both Mia and Lea said, running to their parents

- How are my little girls? Did you listen Lily? - miss Collins asked

- They were good girls. Your son too. 

- What he has done this time? - mister Collins asked

- Nothing. He was helping me the whole weekend. That's why I said it. 

- This is the first time when I heard Ryder and help in one sentence. - miss Collins chuckled

- It's true. He was here all the time. - Lea said

- That's new. Ok girls, I want you to tell me what have you done the whole weekend without us. - Ryder's mom said and took the girls with her

- Lily, can I talk with you? - mister Collins asked

- Yeah, sure. 

With that, we went to the backyard. He sat on one bench and me next to him. 

- You know that if Ryder has caused some trouble, you don't have to hide it. You can tell us if he has done something. 

- I know, but he really was here the whole weekend. Only on Saturday, he was out, but he was with the girls and me. 

- Something isn't right. Usually, he is always out. 

- It was strange for me too, but I find it nice that he wanted to help. Not like there were many things to do. 

- Just be careful. Sometimes he likes to play games. 

- Don't worry, I'll keep an eye on him. 

Both of us talked for a while and later we went back inside. The girls were looking at me with puppy eyes. Did I do something?

- For what are the looks?

- Do you have to go? You can live here. - Lea said

- As much as I would like it, I can't do that. Since your parents are back home, I have to go. 

- But Lea is right. You can live here if you want to. - Ryder said, which made all of us look at him

- Thanks, but I really have to go. I'll take my stuff from the guest room. 

I went upstairs to my room to take everything. Not like it was that much. I mean, I was here for only two days. Everything good has a start and an end. 

I was about to put my clothes in the bag, which I took from home when I saw a shadow. I turned around to see that it was Ryder, who was leaning against the door. 

- Can I help you?

- Do you really have to go? I will miss you.

- And I will miss the good guy. It was nice to have him around. I hope that he won't be gone forever. 

- So you liked him?

- I liked that he was nice and that he helped me. Will you walk inside or you will stay like that? - I chuckled

Ryder came in, closed the door, and sat on the bed. I sat next to him. I didn't lie when I said that I will miss the good guy. I don't know why he did all of this, but I appreciate it. If it could be like that always. Well, who am I to tell him who he has to be. 

I felt how one tear rolled down. Ryder wiped it and removed a piece of my hair. 

- Before you go, I want you to take this. - he said and gave me a piece of paper

- What is that?

- My phone number. Call or text me, if you are afraid to call me when you need something. Even if it's three in the morning. - he said and I chuckled

- Thanks, I appreciate it. We can talk the whole day, but I have to go. 

Both of us walked downstairs. I said goodbye to everyone and hugged the girls. After that, I went home.

This weekend was good. I won't deny that Ryder helped me a lot. It's still surprising why he stayed to help me instead to go out with his friends. I'll look at it from the bright side. I had fun. I have never imagined that I will watch two kids alone for more than a couple of hours, but I am glad that it happened. Most importantly, I am glad that Ryder decide to stay with us. I think that I am falling for the good guy. It's not like it's a bad thing, but I really hope that he won't walk away once he makes me trust him.