Minimum Wage Sidekick Omnibus

CHAPTER FIVE

CHAPTER FIVE

“Alone?” I said as Rubberman, Adams, and I exited the Rubber Room and emerged into Level One. “Why can’t I come with you? You might need backup. That’s what sidekicks are for, after all.”

“Too risky,” said Rubberman, shaking his head as he walked across the room toward the elevator. “You’re not ready for prime time yet, Alex. You will need to stay here while I go deal with this guy.”

“But my eye beams are pretty powerful,” I said as we stopped in front of the elevator. I gestured at my visor. “I could blow him into kingdom come easy.”

“That is precisely what we are worried about,” said Adams, causing me to look at him in confusion.

“What Adams means, Alex, is that you need to stay here,” said Rubberman as he pressed a button labeled ‘LEVEL TWO.’ “Fighting supervillains isn’t anything like the movies make it out. There’s collateral damage, pedestrians, laws regulating use of force, and a whole host of other things you need to take into consideration when fighting even a generic street thug. And the laws for sidekicks are even stricter.”

“Even stricter?” I said. “How?”

“You can have your license revoked for killing a crook, for one thing, unless it was in self-defense,” said Rubberman. “Also, I can be held personally liable for anything you do and I can’t afford to have you blow up someone’s home or car and then get sued for it.”

“What if it’s accidentally?” I said. “They can’t sue me if I did it on accident, right?”

“People can and will sue you for literally anything,” said Rubberman as the elevator dinged and the doors opened before us. “It’s best not to risk it.”

Rubberman and Adams entered the elevator. I was going to join them, but Adams held out a hand and said, “Sorry, Mr. Fry, but you must stay on Level One.”

“You mean I can’t even see you go?” I said in disappointment.

“You’d just get in the way,” said Adams. “We don’t need you getting in the way slowing us down as we prepare Mr. Pullman to leave.”

“I’m sorry, Alex, but Adams is right,” said Rubberman. “You need to stay here while we’re away. You won’t be alone forever; once I leave, Adams will come back up to supervise you and give you your duties for the day. Until then, however, stay put and don’t touch anything; although if you’re hungry, feel free to grab a snack or drink from the fridge.”

Adams looked horrified at the idea of me rifling through the fridge unsupervised, but then the elevator doors closed and I was all alone. I watched as ‘LEVEL TWO’ lit up, an indication that they were already there and getting ready for Rubberman to drive the Rubbermobile. I knew it wouldn’t take them long to set Rubberman up and get him out of here, but that didn’t stop me from feeling annoyed anyway. All that talk about making me familiar with the Cave and yet they didn’t want me coming with them even just to see Rubberman off? It was crazy, but there you go. Then again, maybe Rubberman was afraid I would accidentally blow up the Rubbermobile; given how I told him I almost blew up a car once, that wasn’t an entirely unreasonable worry.

Shaking my head, I turned around and looked at the Cave. I wondered what I should do to pass the time before my stomach grumbled, a reminder of the meager breakfast I had earlier. I decided to see what they had in the fridge; based on what Adams told me, there was bound to be something good in there.

Making my way back to the second half of the Cave, I walked over to the fridge and grabbed the handle. But before I could pull it open, I heard a door open and close somewhere close by. And it was not the elevator doors, so it couldn’t have been Adams returning from seeing Rubberman off.

I listened more closely. I didn’t hear any other sounds. Maybe I had just been imagining things. But that seemed unlikely; the Cave was very silent, so it wasn’t like there were a whole bunch of other sounds I could have mistaken for that of a door opening and closing. That meant I heard something. Or someone.

But who could it be? There were only three people in the Elastic Cave at the moment: Me, Adams, and Rubberman. Right now, Rubberman and Adams were on Level Two getting the Rubbermobile ready, while I was standing in front of the fridge on Level One. Adams had not mentioned anyone else working for Rubberman; therefore, if someone else besides one of us was here, that meant they may not have been friendly.

But maybe I was jumping to conclusions. Just because I thought I heard someone doesn’t mean I did. I could have just been imagining things. How could someone else get in here, anyway? Adams made it sound like this place is pretty secure. It was physically impossible for someone to get in here without Adams or Rubberman knowing. If someone else was in here, they would have introduced me to them already.

On the other hand, though, I didn’t think I would be able to eat if I believed that someone else was in here with me, someone who might be dangerous. The opening and closing door sounded like it came from Rubberman’s office or from that area of the Cave at least; I would go and check. Just a quick peek into his office, and if no one was there, then I would come back to the kitchen and get something to eat.

Ignoring my rumbling stomach, I made my way from the kitchen to the main hallway. I did not see any footprints or anything else to indicate that anyone other than one of us had been here; however, that meant nothing, because they could have been very sneaky. I checked the doors to the rooms in the main hallway, only to discover that most of them were locked. That was what I expected, of course, given that they are supposed to be locked.

But when I got to Rubberman’s office, I discovered that the door was unlocked. That sent off alarms in my head. Rubberman didn’t seem like the kind of guy to leave his office door unlocked when he left. That meant that someone must have picked the lock or forced it open somehow. A deep sense of dread fell over me; it reminded me of the time a robber broke into our house when I was little. Both of my parents had been outside at the time and for some reason had left me alone, maybe because I had been taking a nap or something. Luckily, the robber had run when he saw me (maybe because he was afraid I’d call the police or something), but I distinctly recalled how terrified I had felt when I saw a man who clearly was not my Dad and who was not related to me in any way standing in the doorway of my room with a gun in hand. I shivered just thinking about it.

That’s how I felt now. There was someone in here who was not working with Rubberman, someone who might very well be dangerous, maybe a criminal or something. Perhaps they were even a supervillain of some sort; Rubberman had probably earned the ire of many supervillains over his years in the business and it wouldn’t surprise me if one of them managed to locate and break into the base to kill Rubberman.

I thought about turning around and running back to my room; if there really was a supervillain in there, then I would be safer in my room, at least until Adams returned and I could tell him about it. Of course, Adams didn’t have any superpowers of his own, so I didn’t know what he would be able to do against a real supervillain, but my parents had always taught me to let an adult know if someone was somewhere they shouldn’t be and that I should not handle these types of problems on my own. It was for my own safety, especially because I wasn’t very experienced in fighting supervillains.

Yet I still didn’t know for sure if there was a supervillain in here or not. I didn’t hear anyone on the other side of the door, so maybe Rubberman just left his office door unlocked in his hurry to train me. And even if there was a supervillain, maybe I would be able to take him by surprise; he might think there was no one in here or that I was distracted by something else. If I kicked open the door and shouted, he might be so surprised that I could take him down with one laser blast. Granted, I might end up destroying Rubberman’s office, but if I managed to defeat one of Rubberman’s enemies, I didn’t see how Rubberman could remain angry at me for very long.

Taking a deep breath, I kicked open the door and, stepping inside, shouted, “Halt, supervillain! Or I—”

I abruptly stopped speaking as soon as I saw that the office was totally empty. There was no one at the desk or standing in front of the shelves full of Rubberman merch. The computer was still on, but it seemed to have gone into sleep mode since no one was using it.

I looked to the left and to the right, but did not see anyone. Nor was there anywhere for someone to hide, except behind the desk, but the desk was too small for someone to hide behind, except for maybe a very small child, but I doubted that a small child had managed to break into the Cave. Small kids could get into lots of places you wouldn’t expect them to be able to, of course, but the Elastic Cave was not one of those places.

I rubbed the back of my head. Maybe I had misheard something after all. My grumbling stomach agreed, so I turned around to leave and go back to the kitchen, but not before I heard something above me and looked up in time to see a foot coming at my face.

The foot slammed into my helmet’s visor; the visor protected my face, but the impact of the blow still knocked me flat on my back. And before I could get up again, someone fell down on top of me and pinned me to the floor with one of their feet.

I now found myself staring at the masked face of a ninja. And he was drawing a long, jagged knife from his belt, a knife that looked sharp enough to slit my throat as easily as paper.