Minimum Wage Sidekick Omnibus

CHAPTER SIX

CHAPTER SIX

The guy really was a ninja, or looked like one anyway. He wore black, body-fitting clothing, which showed off his surprisingly muscular body, as well as a black cloth mask that completely hid his face. The only parts of his face that were visible were his eyes; they were a striking blue, making me think of the open sky. I couldn’t determine his age, but he must have been in his twenties at least.

Not that any of that mattered to me, though. My focus was on the huge knife he had pulled out from seemingly nowhere. It actually looked more like a small sword than a knife, but regardless, I knew he was going to be introducing it to me soon enough.

Panicked, I focused on my eye beams. Heat built up in my eyes so rapidly that it was actually painful, but I didn’t care. I shot a full laser blast at the ninja; I was so panicked that I aimed for his face instead of his knife.

But the ninja instantly jumped backwards off me and out of the office, causing my eye beams to blast apart the ceiling above and send debris falling down onto my helmet. I scrambled to my feet, but then the ninja’s knife/sword came out of nowhere, aiming directly for my shoulder. I moved my head in the way, however, and the knife struck my helmet.

The knife was not sharp enough to pierce my helmet; however, it hit so hard that it felt like getting punched in the face. I staggered backwards, which turned out to be a lucky move that allowed me to dodge another s***h from the ninja’s knife.

Without thinking, I tried to slam the door shut on the ninja, but he jammed his knife between the door and the frame. I still tried to hold the door closed, but the ninja shoved it open, sending me staggering backwards again as the ninja entered the room with surprising speed. He slammed the butt of his knife against my helmet, causing me to stagger against the desk. The ninja was coming at me again, so without thinking I grabbed something from the desk behind me and threw it at his face.

That thing turned out to be none other than Rubberman’s little rubber figurine, the one he had showed me before. The figurine flew through the air and struck the ninja in the face, which must have taken him by surprise, because he dropped his knife and put his hands on his face like I’d hit one of his eyes.

Seeing an opening, I threw a punch at him, but the ninja caught my fist and shoved me backwards. I stumbled backwards and hit the desk, while the ninja picked up his knife again and kicked aside the Rubberman figurine. Raising his blade once more, the ninja advanced on me, his sky blue eyes wide with rage.

Knowing I couldn’t beat this guy in a fight, I instead rolled over the desk, just narrowly avoiding Rubberman’s computer monitor, and landed behind the desk. I didn’t have time to formulate a plan, however, because I could hear the ninja still advancing toward the desk. And given how there was only a solid wall behind me, I couldn’t just run away.

I yanked open one of Rubberman’s drawers, the bottom one nearest me, and found a Rubberman paperweight inside it. Picking up the paperweight, it was heavy and solid, exactly what I needed, so I stood back up and threw the metal paperweight at the ninja.

This time, however, the ninja’s reflexes allowed him to dodge the paperweight. But I took advantage of his distraction to pick up Rubberman’s computer mouse and throw it at him as well. It actually hit him in the face, once again causing him to stumble, only this time I didn’t try to fight him. Instead, I ran around the desk and made for the door, figuring that if I couldn’t beat the ninja in a fight, then I would find a safe place to hide until Adams returned.

But I didn’t get very far before I felt the ninja’s hand grab the back of my neck and pull me back. I crashed onto the floor, bashing the back of my head against the wooden flooring, which left me too dizzy to get up or do anything else.

Then I saw the ninja’s knife coming straight at me. There was no time to dodge, no time to think. Only to act.

And, without another thought, I fired another laser blast from my eyes at the incoming knife. The laser blast tore apart the knife and even struck the ninja’s hand, causing him to finally shout in pain in an incredibly deep voice. The ninja stumbled away, grasping his wrist, while I got to my feet, though I had to use Rubberman’s desk for support because I was still kind of dizzy from being knocked around so much.

There was now a new hole in the ceiling, although it wasn’t as big as the first one. Not that I paid any further attention to it, because I turned my attention to the smoking remains of the ninja’s knife lying on the floor. My laser blast had totally destroyed the knife; it didn’t even look like a knife. It looked like a piece of twisted, partially melted metal. It probably didn’t smell very good, either, but my helmet seemed to filter out all smells because I couldn’t smell the smoke rising from it.

Then I looked at the ninja. He was gripping his hand, which looked terrible now. Although the knife had taken the brunt of my lasers, his hand hadn’t exactly escaped unscathed. The glove was partially burned off, revealing an ugly burn on his skin that reminded me of those pictures of burn victims I looked up on the Internet once. It looked like the ninja could still use his hand, but it must have been very painful, because he was groaning in pain and acting very un-ninja-like. That was the very first time I’d ever harmed a human with my powers; it was an odd feeling.

But I didn’t focus on it. Instead, I pointed at the ninja and said, “Okay, ninja, looks like I win. If you give up and tell me who you are and what you’re doing here, I won’t shoot you with my lasers again.”

I spoke as authoritatively and confidently as I could, which was kind of hard because I was so tired. Still, I figured that that was what Rubberman or some other superhero would say in my situation, especially since my enemy was unarmed.

Instead of giving up, however, the ninja turned and ran out the door much faster than someone with such a burn should have been able to. I was briefly taken aback, but then shook my head and ran after him. If that ninja got away, then I might get fired for not only letting him get away, but also for causing so much damage to Rubberman’s office. Besides, I had a feeling that that ninja stole something important, even though I hadn’t seen him carrying anything that didn’t belong to him.

Rounding the corner, I slammed into someone and we both fell on our behinds. At first, I thought I’d run into the ninja, so I prepared my eyes to fire another laser at him, but when I looked again, I saw that it was Adams. The older man was sitting on the floor opposite me, rubbing his head and wearing a very annoyed frown on his face.

“Mr. Fry, what are you doing in Rubberman’s office?” said Adams in annoyance. “And why do I smell burning metal?”

“Adams?” I said in surprise. “What are you doing here?”

“I just got back from seeing off Mr. Pullman in the Rubbermobile,” said Adams. He rose to his feet, dusting off his suit. “But don’t change the subject on me, young man. What happened here?”

I also rose to my feet and tried looking around Adams. “Did you see the ninja?”

“Ninja?” said Adams. “What ninja? I didn’t see any ‘ninja’ in here.”

“But he just left,” I said, looking up at Adams. “Surely you passed him on your way here.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” said Adams with a huff. “Now get out of my way and let me see what you did to Mr. Pullman’s office. And why are you covered in plaster?”

I tried to tell Adams not to enter, but he just shoved me aside and went into Mr. Pullman’s office. His scream was so loud that I was pretty sure that it could be heard even from the streets above us.