Taste of Poison

Kabanata 10

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Abala siya sa iniihaw na karne habang ako ay nakaupo at pinagmamasdan siyang nagpapaypay. He was wearing nothing underneath his apron.

Honestly, that day... the reason why I let him touched me that night, was the thought of him being a vampire. It has been three years since I last saw one, maybe meeting him excites me. It brought my memories back from the past. Every time we're together, I felt like I'm back to my old self again.

The huntress.

"What are you thinking?"

Napaayos ako ng upo nang lumingon sa akin si Azar. Nakataas ang kaniyang kilay. 

"You," I answered truthfully. "What ifs'..."

"Stop thinking. You would still run if you discover the truth," aniya.

"You're right," umiwas ako ng tingin.

"Malapit na itong maluto."

Noong hapon ay sabay kaming kumain ng inihaw niya. I offered to clean our used utensils just like before. Hindi naman niya ako pinigilan sa kagustuhan ko.

Nang gumabi ay pinili kong tumambay sa terrace ng kaniyang bahay. Nakaupo sa baitang ng hagdan habang may hawak na baso ng gatas na nakapatong sa aking mga tuhod.

I looked up at the sky. Three years ago, I was hunting vampires. I was ought to hunt devils who harmed us every night. The moon witnessed how I killed my victims before.

Pumikit ako at nilanghap ang malamig na simoy ng hangin.

If he was still here, I wouldn't turn to what I have become.

 I opened my eyes and turned my head to see Azar in the doorway. He was looking down at me. Suot niya ang kaniyang pyjamas.

"I thought you have something to work on?" I asked in a soft voice. Binaling ko sa baso ang tingin.

"Natapos ko na. Why are you still up? Malalim na ang gabi."

I tapped the space beside me instead. "Sit here, Az. Tabi tayo."

"I'm okay here," he gazed at me. "Something's bothering you. You can tell me..."

I stared at him for a second before looking away. Nilpag ko ang baso sabay yakap sa aking tuhod.

"Have you ever been in love?" I asked curiously. "I really believe you're a vampire because of your heart not beating. But it's not yet confirmed kaya, ipagpalagay natin na you're sick... that you've undergone a heart transplant and replaced your human heart with a machine." I glanced at him. "Have you ever been in love? Despite your non-existent heartbeat."

Is it possible though? To fall in love even without his heart.

"No," he answered. "But I love the thought of being in love."

"You just love the idea?" 

He hummed. "Yeah, just the idea of being in love with a person."

Sometimes people were only in love with the idea of a person but, they really don't know who that person is. Majority are maybe... mistook love with the idea of just being in love.

"You know..." I took a deep breath. "If there's a vampire, there's also a hunter," simula ko. "I was born in a family of hunters. I've learned to embrace it. Seeing them saved people from monster motivated me to joined, but it wasn't enough reason to totally became a huntress."

No one forced me to live my life the way it was. I chose to be a huntress not just because it runs in my blood, but something happened in the past.

Vampires made me hunt them. They turned me into someone I said I'd never be. I had no choice. I wanted revenge. Iyon ang gusto ko kaya naging padalos-dalos ang naging desisyon ko noon. But even though I made a reckless decision, I didn't regret it. I felt no ounce of regrets.

"I lost someone dear to me, that was the reason why I decided to kill vampires."

I buried my face to my knees. I felt my heart twitch at the memories from the past. Hindi ko maatim manahimik noon, kaya mas pinili kong maghiganti sa nangyari. No one knows the real reason why I suddenly decided to take part.

Only Azar.

Nilingon ko siya at mariin siyang tinitigan.

"A vampire killed him. That was when I started hating vampires. They're monster, Azar. Wala silang puso."

Kinabukasan ay ang mukha na naman ng Presidente ang nangunguna sa telebisyon. I think I saw my mother, too. She was really good at convincing people. Ano kaya ang sinabi o ibinigay niya para mapasunod ang gobyerno? 

Mula sa telebisyon ay umangat ang tingin ko kay Azar na bumaba mula sa hagdan. I remember what happened last night. He said nothing. He just carried me to bed after venting out my feelings. We just slept together. My back on him, then his arm around my waist.

Binaba ko ang paa mula sa pagkapatong sa center table. Nilapag ko ang bowl na may chips doon bago umisod sa gilid ng sofa.

Bumaling siya saglit sa mesa bago umupo. He glanced at the space between us.

"Any plans for today?"

Umiling ako. 

Sumandal siya. "I just want to rest today, stay in bed and enjoy your warmth."

He tilted his head to my side. He smiled cheekily that made me smile back. Iiling-iling na umisod siya sa akin para tumabi.

We stayed in bed the whole day, enjoying each other's company and slowly becoming intimate. Hapon nang nag-desisyon akong umuwi sa bahay dahil sa tawag ni Mama Astrid. Matagal bago ako pinakawalan ni Azar. I made a promised that caused him to let go. Magkikita kami bukas ang sinabi ko.

Pagod akong umupo sa sofa kaharap si Mama Astrid. Ako lang ang narito.

"The Vyn is out," simula niya. "Wanna hear something, Emory?"

"What about?" 

"The guy I told you I've fallen in love with..."

Napaayos ako ng upo sa narinig. Is she going to tell me her love story when she was still young? Like how she ended up with my father who's been missing for twenty-five years? Kung tungkol sa Papa ko ang pag-uusapan, hindi ako interesado.

He left and whatever excuses he would come up with, I wouldn't accept him. Mama Astrid was alone as she raised us, her love is enough. She's enough. I need nothing but my mother.

"If it's about my father, Ma. No thanks."

Her sharp slant like cat eyes was seriously staring at mine. I could see Simeon on her. 

She chuckled and crossed her legs. Kinuha niya ang baso ng wine saka uminom dito.

"Your father doesn't know your existence. I didn't tell him for your own safety, para sa inyo ni Simeon. Hindi naman ako nagsisi... kahit na wala kayong kinagisnang ama, inisip ko na mas mabuti na rin 'yon."

"What's good with growing up without a father, Ma?" I said bitterly.

Natigil sa ere ang kaniyang wine glass na pinaglalaruan niya. Tumitig siya roon bago ipatong ang kamay na may hawak sa baso sa ibabaw ng kaniyang hita.

I looked away and pursed my lips. Why did I say that? I didn't mean to.

I was about to say sorry when she talked again. Tinikom ko ang bibig.

"I had two men in my life before. A best friend and a boyfriend, but something came up I had to leave him. I need to... with you and Simeon, for our safety. I left yet, he didn't find a way to find us..." her voice was calm. "Naisip ko, baka hindi naman talaga ako mahalaga kaya pinagpatuloy ko ang pagtago."

I let her talk. I played with my fingers as I listened. She was calm and very composed. Like the past didn't hurt her.

I just really admire Mama Astrid for being brave. I'm so proud because she raised me to be like her. The brave one. The strong one who made a promised to remain unbreakable at all cost.

"My parents were there beside me, until one day, father left. Nabalitaan ko na lang na magkasama sila ng ama mo. Then we moved to Lolo Gaspare, silang dalawa ni Lola Adra ang nag-alaga sa amin... tinanggap ulit si Mama dahil sa 'kin, sa inyo ni Simeon, at dahil na rin sa hindi nila matiis si Mama... na anak nila."

She sighed heavily. "Your father was dying, but then that virus happened."

My breathe hitch. It can't be... He can't be a vampire! Hindi ko iyon matatanggap! Bumigat ang paghinga ko nang makita ang kalungkutan sa ngiting iginawad ni Mama Astrid. She saw my reaction and that gave her an idea. Hindi ko tinago ang pag-ayaw ko sa mga bampira.

Everyone in my family knew how much I despise them.

"He became a vampire, Emory. Your father was infected."

Nanghina ako sa narinig. Malayo ang tingin ko sa unahan. I despise vampires, that made me hate my father, too. My own father. I hated my own father.

Tumawa ako hindi dahil sa tuwa kung hindi sa sama ng loob na nararamdaman. I almost didn't notice the tear roll down my cheek. I covered my face with my palms. Nababaliw na yata ako.

Ganoon na ba siya kadesperadong mabuhay? Can't he accept his time was up? Knowing his kind killed Lolo Gaspare and others, it made me hate him more.

My hatred was beyond words.

Tulala pa rin akong nagmaneho pabalik sa condo. Mabuti nga at nakauwi pa ako ng ligtas sa kalagayan kong iyon. Dumiretso ako sa banyo para maligo. I couldn't fathom my feelings. I wanted to shout and break things but I can't bring myself to do it!

I wanted to be angry! But I couldn't...

The thought of finding him crossed my mind. I need answers. An explanation.

Tinawagan ko si Azar matapos kong mag-ayos. It was already dark but he still fetched me. Tahimik kami sa kaniyang sasakyan. He's wearing a black dress shirt folded on his forearm. Meanwhile, I'm wearing a tassel top and a high waisted leather short. He looked formal, while I looked like usual... a hard party girl.

"A Club is open tonight. Don't worry, there's no human in there, for now."

Tumango-tango ako, hindi inintindi ang kaniyang sinabi.

"What happened?" He asked.

He reserved us a VIP seat. May mga nagsasayawan sa dance floor ngunit nang maalala ko ang sinabi ni Azar ay gumapang ang takot sa akin. Are they vampires?

Uminom ako sa baso ng alak doon.

"Virus happened," I answered. "Masaya ka ba na isa kang bampira?" Binalingan ko siya. "Humor me, Azar."

Vampires live longer. Hundreds or maybe a thousand years. Hindi tumatanda ang pisikal nilang anyo kahit ilang taon na silang nabubuhay, unlike humans. Baka hindi rin sila nababahala sa kamatayan. There are only two ways to kill them. Stake right through their heart or beheaded.

May mga katangian din silang hindi taglay ng mga tao. Their physical strengths, wounds would heal itself, then their sharp senses.

Some humans wish to be like them. Being a vampire means longer life after all.

"Humans see vampires as a monster, some loathed them, how can I be happy?"

He leaned closer to get himself a drink. Ang kanang kamay niya ay nasa gilid ng pang-upo ko. I just observed him as he pours a drink on his glass. Umayos na rin siya ng upo matapos magsalin ng alak, still resting his other hand on my side.

His eyes were on mine as he drank the liquor.

"Those greedy immortals are the one to blame, they enjoyed the benefits of being a vampire. Emory, they disgust me," his eyes darkened. "I can't be happy knowing they killed innocent people."

"But you're part of them, if..."

His upper lip rose up. Natutuwa siguro dahil hindi pa ako tuluyang naniniwala na isa siyang bampira, kahit harap-harapan na niyang inaamin.

"I honestly don't need someone who sees the good in me. Kung tuluyan mo ng madiskubre ang pagkatao ko, at kung tumakbo ka man, hindi kita pipigilan. I'm a bad person you shouldn't have stayed with. The guy your mother warned you about."

I suddenly heard my mother's voice inside my head. Bata pa lang ako ay sinabihan na niya ako tungkol sa mga bampira. That I shouldn't hang out with them if I wanted to live longer. I shouldn't be friends with them if I wanted to keep my humanity. My being.

Kung gusto ko raw mamatay bilang tao, huwag raw akong iibig sa isang bampira.

That's ironic. Humans aren't made for vampires. Hindi ko pinangarap makasama ang isang immortal habang buhay.

I shot my brows at him. My hand on his thigh, squeezing it lightly. Napasulyap siya roon.

"You told me before you'd join vampires if they're real, and kill humans. Kung isa ka sa kanila, papatayin mo rin ako?"

We stared at one another. His eyes were still dark yet mesmerizing like a dark sky that was full of so much depths. Just like before, it drew me in more closely.

He kissed my lips. "The last time I checked, you were still a human... and a woman. How can I kill someone like you?"

I shrugged and smirked. "You know I hate vampires, right? Not killing me means giving me an opportunity to kill you instead. No matter how good you are to me..."

Umiling siya, kapagkuwan ay ngumisi.

"You're curious about why vampires killed humans. Try to ask yourself why. Baka sakaling mahanap mo ang kasagutan."

Napaisip ko. Memories from three years ago came back. And the part where Mallory told me she was worried about our safety.

Kumunot ang noo ko. "What were you trying to say? Na pumapatay sila dahil sa naghihiganti?"

He leaned on the sofa and settled his eyes in front.

"Your family was a vampire hunter. You were a huntress and probably killed tons of vampires before. Iyong naiwan ng mga naging biktima niyo, siguro ay naghihiganti sa mga tao. Because what? A human killed his relatives," seryoso ang kaniyang boses.

Sarkastiko akong tumawa. Binawi ko ang kamay sa hita niya.

"A never-ending revenge. We hunt vampires for our safety, we killed them because they're killing humans, and now they're back to get their revenge?"

I drank another shot of vodka. "Can they just rot in hell and never come back? Can you, Azar?"

Naramdaman ko ang pait sa lalamunan ko. I think I saw his eyes changing colour but maybe I'm just tired of everything that happened today.

Everything is tiring. Sana ay hindi ko nalaman na buhay pa ang ama ko. I hope I had a normal life.

"I hope vampires don't exist... or that VBT. 'Di sana tao pa tayong lahat, 'di ba? If that virus didn't exist, I shouldn't have suffered."

I forget about everything and just drank the night away. Azar didn't hold me from getting wasted but he never let me dance with people on the dance floor. He stayed with me the whole night 'till I can't remember how drunk I was.

"You're drunk, Emory. Let's go now..." si Azar iyon na pilit inaagaw sa akin ang baso ng alak.

I just slapped his hand. "Magsalin ka ng iyo! Don't take what's mine!" Lasing kong sinabi. Kulang na lamang ay yakapin ko ang baso!

I looked up to him. He's standing in front of me with his hand on his waist, he looked frustrated as he ran his fingers through his medium length hair. I smiled widely and giggled.

Pinilit kong tumayo para lang mapaupo ulit sa sofa. I tried again and this time, he held my waist to helped me stood up.

"Gusto mo ba ng one night stand?" I giggled again. Hindi na maayos ang paningin ko dahil sa kalasingan. "Kaso isa lang..."

I raised my hand and showed him my forefinger that caused the glass to dropped on the ground. Pero hindi ko iyon pinansin!

Ngumisi ako. "Isa lang ang puwede sa inyo. Kasi bakit dalawa ka? You have a twin, Azar? Bakit hindi ko alam?" My eyes widen in realization. "Oh, right! Personal!"

Humalakhak ako. Lasing na yata ako. Dalawa na si Azar sa paningin ko! Mahigpit akong humawak sa kaniyang mga balikat. Tiningala ko siya at nginitian.

"Uy, bakit hindi ka sumasagot? One night stand tayo kasi!" I pursed my lips and blinked my eyes a lot of times.

His jaw was clenched and his eyes were burning with desire as he stares at me. His grip on my waist tightened I almost complained. I smiled at him cheekily. Nakikita ko ang ugat sa kaniyang sintido na para pang kanina pa siya nagpipigil.

He dropped a kiss on my lips.

"You're drunk, let me take you home now," his voice was thick, low, and pleasant to hear.

I bat my lashes and pursed my lips more. Naramdaman ko ang labi niya roon.

"But I am home..." I joked.

Umiling lang siya.

"Kapag nahimasmasan ka na, saka mo ako ayain ng one night stand. Pero hindi iyon mangyayari," he smirked. "I don't want one night stand."

"So you want a long term f**k buddy?"

Dinilaan niya ang kaniyang labi. Napalunok ako.

"A friend, you say?" Ngumisi siya.

Umirap ako. "A friend who knows what I taste like?"

He draws his head back because of laughter. Saglit akong napapikit dahil doon.

"Flirt," komento niya. "Let's go. Iuuwi na kita."

He was about to drag me out but I shook my head.

"I told you, I'm home..." ngisi ko.

"If you tell me that again, I might believe you," medyo mahina niyang sinabi.

Hindi ko iyon pinansin. I circled my arms on his nape and stared at his eyes. Naramdaman ko na naman ang gigil niya sa beywang ko.

"Let's kiss first. Malay mo bukas, wala na ako..." sabi ko.

Bumuntong hininga siya bago ako halikan. It was just a short kiss. After that, he dragged me out and took me home.