Taste of Poison

Kabanata 5

Heartbeat

Sobrang aga ko nagising kinabukasan. I wore a sleeveless red striped top, and blue skinny jeans clenched with a signature black belt and white sneakers. Maaga pa kaya naman nagbasa na lamang ako ng articles para malibang.

I can't help but think about what would happen today. Would I spend my whole day with Azar? If ever, what activities are we going to do? Hindi ako mapakali. In the end, I chose to inform Mama Astrid that I'm not going to make it today. Tinext ko na rin si Mallory na baka ay hindi ako makauwi at huwag na lang ako hanapin.

Kakalapag ko pa lang ng cellphone sa lamesa ay saka naman ito tumunog. Napabalikwas ako mula sa pagkakaupo. Kinuha ko ulit iyon at tiningnan ang tumawag. Tumikhim ako bago ito sinagot.

"No, I'm not horny," bungad niya agad. "Nasa harap na ako ng building. Bumaba ka na..."

"Good morning, Az..."

I heard his deep breath. "Good morning."

Kinuha ko ang purse at lumabas na sa condo. The call is still on-going as I wait for the elevator to open.

"So, what's the plan for today?"

May narinig akong boses sa background. Pumasok na ako nang bumukas ang elevator. Pinindot ko ang button doon.

"Let's talk about it once you get here," aniya.

"Well, start talking..."

Sumulyap sa akin ang kasama ko sa loob. Nginitian ko lang siya at tinuon ang atensiyon sa harap.

"I forgot to mention that I love outdoor activities."

"Such as?"

"Guess..."

Umirap ako. "You know what? Today is supposed to be my rest day but then, you happened."

I heard him chuckled. Binabaan ko siya at nang tumigil ang elevator, agad ko siyang hinanap sa labas. Then, I saw him leaning on to his truck.

A Hennessy Goliath six by six.

"What the hell..."

Nginisihan niya ako at humalukipkip. He's wearing a classic rag wool sweater, underneath is a white tee paired with pants and brown shoes. Namilog ang mga mata na pinasadahan ko ng kamay ang kaniyang truck.

"This is expensive!" asik ko.

"I know, baby..." lumapit siya sa akin at hinila ako sa beywang para idikit sa kaniya. "I hope you had a good sleep last night," then he gave me a peck on the lips.

Binuksan niya ang pinto sa passenger seat. Namamangha pa rin akong tumingin sa kaniya. He's indeed rich! There's a ghost smile hiding on his reddish lips.

"Get inside. May pupuntahan tayo..."

"Saan? Do inform me, ayokong magulat kapag naroon na tayo."

He slightly moved his head as if commanding me to just go inside. Inismiran ko siya at humalukipkip. My question wasn't even personal!

"Tell me..."

Umiling siya. Inirapan ko na lang siya bago pumasok sa loob. Sinara niya ito at ako naman ay kinabit ang seatbelt. Umikot siya sa may driver seat at pumasok.

"You'll spend the whole day with me,"

"Wala akong dalang gamit! Bakit hindi mo man lang sinabi kagabi nang tumawag ka?"

Bumaling siya sa akin matapos niyang ikabit ang seatbelt sa sarili.

"I forgot. We'll just go to the mall first and buy the stuff you'll be needing," he started the engine. "Have you had your breakfast?"

Tumango ako at tumingin na lang sa labas nang umandar ang sasakyan.

"Is this also part of our agreement? Puwede mo akong dalhin sa kung saan man nang hindi muna ako sinasabihan?"

"Yeah? I'm giving you my permission to do the same with me. I won't complain..."

"That's not it..." I heaved a sigh. "I will add another rule, Azar. I have a life, too, outside this arrangement. You can't just drag me anywhere and anytime you want. After four days..." natigilan ako.

Why did I mention that? Baka akalain niyang naghintay ako sa apat na araw na iyon kahit hindi naman! I saw how his lips formed into an evil smile because of what I've said.

"I mean, today is supposed to be my rest day! Wala pa akong maayos na tulog tapos ikaw?! Magpapakita lang pagkatapos ng apat na araw ng walang paramdam!"

I'm not really complaining! Naiinis ako kasi rest day ko ngayon tapos saka naman siya susulpot. And I think he's planning for some outdoor activities. I don't think I have enough energy to perform one. Napag-usapan naman namin ang tungkol sa schedule pero bakit hindi siya sumusunod doon!

Higit limang minuto yata ang lumipas bago tumigil ang sasakyan. He parked his truck and I went out after without glancing at his direction. Sumunod naman siya. Hinawakan niya ang siko ko nang akma ko siyang lalagpasan.

"Are you really tired?" he gently asked.

"Yes."

"Why are you tired?"

Binalingan ko siya. "I've worked my ass up for these past few weeks that I forgot to rest."

"So, no s*x today?"

Sinamaan ko siya ng tingin. "Yes."

Tumango-tango siya, binitawan na rin ako. I stepped backward and stared at his face. His looks didn't change. Still dark and dangerous.

"You still want to be with me?"

Kitang kita ko ang pagdila niya sa pang-ibabang labi. All my insides felt fussy. Pinasadahan niya ng kamay ang kaniyang medium length hair.

"Emory? Still going with me?" ulit niya.

Bumuntong hininga ako. "Nandito na ako, ano pa ba ang magagawa ko?"

Umangat ang gilid ng kaniyang labi. Pumasok na kami sa mall. Bukod sa damit at toiletries ay wala na naman akong kailangan. But then, he told me to buy a pair of bikini. I can't help but shook my head as I picked the red one.

"Beach? Pool?" tanong ko.

He just shrugged his shoulder as he opened the glass door for me. Dala-dala niya ang mga paper bags sa isa niyang kamay.

"How about food, Az?" I asked.

"Don't worry about it."

He drove for another thirty minutes or so. I chose to sleep and woke up to the gentle sound of waves.

The scenery is breathtakingly beautiful! White sands, warm breeze and the gentle waves... felt so relaxing!

Hinanap ng mata ko si Azar. Doon ko lang napagtanto kung nasaan ako. I woke up inside the tent! Nakabukas ang zipper nito at nakaharap sa dagat. May nakita akong maliit na mesa na may paper bags na nakapatong. Pero hindi iyon ang pinaglagyan ko ng mga binili ko sa mall kanina.

"Hey, babe. You awake..." napalingon ako kay Azar na sumulpot sa gilid. He's now wearing a white tee shirt. "Are you hungry? You slept for two hours. You sure were tired, hmm?"

Dire-diretso naman siya roon sa lamesa at inilabas ang laman ng bags. Walang sapin sa paa na lumapit ako sa kaniya.

"This is how we're going to spend our day?"

He glanced at me. "I don't want you to be just my f**k buddy, Emory. But also, a friend who'd travel and explore with me," he answered instead. Inabot niya sa akin ang isang buong apple. "Malinis 'yan, kainin mo..."

I took a bite and sat on the chair. "I never thought you're that type of guy."

"What type?"

"This. Akala ko puro s*x lang ang alam mo."

"Puro s*x? Didn't I tell you that you were my first?"

"It was too hard for me to believe that. Was I? You're twenty-four..."

"Was it impossible for a guy to keep his purity 'till the right age?"

Tumawa ako. "And twenty-four is the right age? Impossible. Baka naman ay nagsisinungaling ka. I won't mind if you were already tainted before that night."

"I don't have any reason to lie about my virginity. What about you? You lost yours at the age of twenty-five."

Binuksan niya ang mga glass tupperware doon. Tiningnan ko ang mga pagkain. Meat, vegetables, and fruits.

Tumango ako. "Yeah, but I ain't that innocent."

"Of course. You flirt..."

"Flirting is normal, Azar. Hindi mo lang yata iyon naranasan. And I want to explore," Inipit ko sa likod ng tainga ang ilang hibla ng buhok ko na tumakas. "I mean, it's not bad. Gusto ko lang i-enjoy ang buhay. Flirting makes me happy. Okay lang naman as long as wala akong nasasaktan."

"Nasasaktan?"

"Hmm. You know, some of them fell," I shrugged. "Iyon ang ayaw ko sa ibang partner ko. They fell even when I told them not to."

"That's inevitable. Even when you told them that, you can't still teach their hearts not to like or love you."

My lips parted. Tumingin ako sa kaniya pero abala siya sa ginagawa. Why are we talking about feelings? 

Bumaling siya sa akin. "Why are you looking at me like that?"

I blinked. "Like what?"

"Like I said something wrong."

Umiling ako at inilapag ang mansanas sa platito roon.

"I'll go swim. Maiwan na kita rito," tumayo ako para lang maupo ulit.

Binawi niya ang kamay mula sa braso ko.

"Kumain ka muna bago ka magtampisaw sa dagat. It's already lunch, in case you don't know."

We ate together and I never bothered him. I offered to clean our table after and he nodded then left. Hindi ako nagtanong. There was enough water so I washed our used utensils. Nagbihis na rin ako ng bikini pagkatapos sa loob ng tent.

I didn't search for him. Sumuong ako sa dagat at lumangoy. Upon swimming, I thought of my reckless decision. Maybe I was blinded by lust that time so I agreed to this set up. Hindi ko alam. I'm starting to realize that this can't be. I shouldn't be with him. That this isn't right.

But we're just playing. I shouldn't worry too much. Just like what I've said, I'm enjoying it.

I was about to swim back to the shore when I saw Azar coming out of the woods. He stopped when he reached the tent. He removed his shirt over his head, then pants. My vision isn't that clear but I could still see how sexy he was when he drank water from the bottle.

Bumaling siya sa direksiyon ko. Nagsimula na siyang lumakad palapit. Lumangoy naman ako palayo.

He didn't take long enough to reach me. Nakita ko na lang ang sarili na nakadikit sa katawan niya.

"I haven't kissed you yet," aniya at hinawi ang buhok na tumabing sa kaniyang mata.

"You did."

"When?" kunot ang noo niya.

"Earlier, outside the condominium."

His fingers drew circles on my waist. My hands resting on my sides.

"You called that a kiss?"

"Our lips touched so technically, we kissed."

He pursed his lips. "You've been with a lot of guys yet you still don't know what real kiss is."

My brows furrowed. "At least we still kissed! Just a peck but it was still a kiss!"

"Bakit ka sumisigaw?" tanong niya, natatawa.

"I'm not," kumalma ako. "You're stressing me out, Azar. If you want a real kiss then show me! Stop making my blood boil at things like this."

He shook his head, smirking.

"Ang short tempered mo," komento niya.

I rolled my eyes and was about to say a word when he bent down, his lips against my cheek. He brushed it lightly that made my whole body tremble. His hands moving up and down to my waist while I clung mine to his nape.

"Just kiss me on my lips, Azar. Naiinis na ako sa 'yo. You dragged me here and now, you can't even give what I want."

He looked at me. "Ano ba ang gusto mo?" his voice was soft.

"A kiss!" I shook my head. "A real kiss..."

He didn't waste a second. When his lips finally touch mine, everything seems oddly quiet. His kiss was subtle and slow but it wasn't gentleness that I wanted. Ramdam ko ang mahihinang alon na humahampas sa amin. Pero ayokong sabayan iyon.

I pulled him down. With eyes closed, I kissed him once, twice until I've had a taste and realized it'll never be enough. He's now kissing me back with his tongue caressing all the corners of my mouth. My fingers grip his hair, pulling him closer.

Everything seems blank. All I think about is his touch and kisses with a fervent urgent need I've never felt before.

Nang maghiwalay kami mula sa halik ay hinahabol namin ang paghinga. My eyes were sleepy from that kiss. I put my arms on his shoulder, resting my head on his chest.

I felt him kissing my hair.

"Let's stay here 'till dark," sabi ko.

"We can't. Pag-ahon natin ay aalis na tayo. We'll go to my house and play."

Nag-angat ako ng tingin. "Play what?"

"Archer, babe..."

My eyes widen. Bumitaw ako sa kaniya sabay ngumiti ng malaki.

"Let's go now!" tuwang-tuwa kong pag-aaya.

We swam back to the shore. Nagbihis ako sa tent at paglabas ko ay maayos na siya. We gathered all our things and put them at the back of his truck. Napatigil ako sa paglagay ng huling gamit nang may naalala.

"Hindi mo ito dala lahat noong sinundo mo ako, right?"

"Yeah. Someone prepared these right before we arrived here."

I squint my eyes. "Bakit alam mo ang tungkol sa akin na marunong ako gumamit ng palaso?"

"Your cousin told me."

Realization hit me. "Oh, right..."

We went inside his truck. Umandar ang sasakyan at minuto pa lang ay binaybay na namin ang daan.

All my insides were excited as I thought of bow and arrow. Even when we stopped the life we had, my love for it is still here. Twice to thrice a month akong naglalaan ng oras para roon. I still trained myself to be better in that field. Ilang taon ako nagsanay roon at ni isang beses, hindi ko naisip na itigil ang paghawak ko sa pana.

"Tell me about it," sabi niya habang nagmamaneho.

May ideya ako sa tinutukoy niya kaya nagsalita ako. When it comes to my sport, my mouth would open and talk.

"I was twelve when my mother trained me. Sabay kami natuto ni Mallory sa pagpana. Years passed and I mastered the art of hunting. You know, archers were used for hunting. Kaya pakiramdam ko ay hunter ako tuwing humahawak ng pana..." I told him, playing safe. Tumawa pa ako sa pang-huli kong sinabi.

I was sixteen when I first killed a vampire using my first owned archer. Iyon ang ginagamit ko tuwing nagsasanay.

I could still remember what I felt at that time. I was nervous and scared. I even asked Mama Astrid if I would be put in jail because I killed a vampire. Tinawanan lang niya ako dahil doon.

"You enjoy hunting?"

I looked at his direction but his eyes were fixed on the road.

"You mean the art of archery? Of course, a lot..." humina ang boses ko.

His gripped on the steering wheel tightened. His knuckles turned white. Umiwas ako ng tingin.

"Of course..."

May nakita na akong bahay. I think it's his but I'm not sure because I only saw the front yard of his house. 

Tumigil ang sasakyan sa harap ng bahay. He immediately unbuckled his seatbelt.

"Things you'll need is already prepared. Papanoorin lang kita sa bawat pagtira mo."

"You will not join me? That's lonely, Azar."

He glanced at me. "I'm here, watching you. Ano ang lonely roon? Hindi naman ako aalis..."

Napasimangot ako. "It's awkward. I'm not some kind of soap opera to be watched."

He sighed. "Then, teach me how."

I did what I was told without asking questions.

Pakiramdam ko ay pinaglalaruan niya lang ako. He looks like he knew archery! Dalawang beses ko pa lang naman siyang tinuruan pero iyong mga sunod niyang tira ay kung hindi sakto, malapit naman sa target!

Masama ang tingin ko sa mannequin na nakadikit sa malapad na kahoy. May apple ito sa taas ng ulo.

"That's your last chance to win, Emory. Best of luck, babe..." the brute said.

I aimed for the target before releasing the string. Muntikan na akong tumalon sa tuwa nang tumama ito sa mansanas! Mayabang akong tumingin kay Azar.

"See that? I won, Az! Now, get inside and cook something for me. Iyong masarap!" I told him.

Nilapag niya ang bow at lumapit sa akin.

"You were good, luv..."

I shook my head and dropped the bow on the ground. Hinigit niya ang beywang ko palapit sa kaniya at kinintalan ako ng halik sa labi. Nilagay ko ang sariling kamay sa mukha niya at mahina itong tinulak.

"I'm tired. I want to rest... Lift me," tamad kong sabi.

Gumagabi na at wala pa talaga akong maayos na tulog. Parang naramdaman ko na ang lahat ng pagod na naipon ko noong nakaraan. I feel like my body would give up on me soon. Binuhat niya ako katulad ng sinabi ko.

I wrapped my arms around his nape and rest my head against his chest. Sinarado ko ang mga mata ko para sana matulog.

"I feel like I'm resting on a block of ice..." he stopped from walking. "Sobrang lamig mo, literal. I feel like getting frostbite if I stay in my position for another minute..."

"You asked me to carry you. Now, you're complaining."

"Why are you so cold? Are you sick, Azar?"

He continues walking. May binuksan siyang pinto.

"I'm not. My body temperature is just low..."

Naramdaman ko ang malambot na kama sa likod ko. My eyes gave up realizing I heard nothing while I rested on his chest.

I feel no pulse. No heartbeat at all.