Taste of Poison

Kabanata 4

Arrangement 

     I don't know if I was still in the right mind when I sent him my location. I was hesitant at first to enter his car but when I felt his touch on my skin, that was when I let go of all my doubts. I threw them away and just reminded myself that s*x is fine. As long as we set our boundaries.      

“Are you hungry? We could eat first in the restaurant you want before we proceed to our real agenda," sumulyap si Azar sa akin habang nagmamaneho siya.      

I wet my lower lip. “I'm not hungry..." sagot ko.      

“Are you sure? Mahaba-haba ang pag-uusapan natin, Emory."      

“We could talk about your burning desire over lunch. Since magla-lunch na rin naman," suhestiyon ko.     

“Humalakhak siya. "I don't like talking about s*x in front of the food. That's unethical and disrespectful on their part."    

  Pinili kong manahimik na lang at tinuon ang atensyon sa mga nadadaanan namin. I actually feel so nervous but I'm trying to hide it from him. Iniisip ko na rin ang rules and regulations na dapat namin sundin habang nasa ganito at ganoon kaming setup.

I mean, we would end up as official f**k buddy at the end of the day, right? And f**k buddies has rules to follow.

Bumaba ang tingin ko sa kamay niyang dumantay sa hita ko.

“Can't wait to get inside my pants, huh?" Tumingin din siya roon.

"What? Masama bang ipatong ang kamay ko sa komportableng patungan?" tumawa ulit siya.

Marahan niya iyon pinisil. I scoffed but didn't bother to take his handoff.

“It depends on your hand's intention." He chuckled, his eyes in front.

“You're tense, babe. Why? Afraid of me?" No. But the things you can do to me, yes. "No,” I answered with conviction. "Why would I be? You're not scary, Azar. Don't think highly of yourself." 

 He's not scary but dangerous. Too dangerous for me. The side of his lips rose up a bit. He glanced at me, eyes were sharp and dark.

“Really? Explain the beads of sweat on your forehead and your heart then," he shook his head, grinning. "I could hear it beating fast than normal. Like a damn rotor."

Inayos niya ang rear view mirror doon. Nakaramdam ako ng pagkukulang nang mawala ang kamay niya sa hita ko, pero nanumbalik naman agad nang ipinatong niya ulit ito.

“I can't even hear my heartbeat. Ang layo mo para marinig iyon," sabi ko.

He chuckled again. "Don't take it literally. I just know you're nervous because of your sweats."

Are we seriously talking about my sweat?

"Fine!"

“Fine, what?"

"I'm feeling hot, okay? Your touch alone made me feel hot, that explains my sweat."

Nope! I would never admit that I'm nervous whenever he's around. Hindi na ako umimik at ganoon din naman siya. Sa bintana na ako tumingin, sakto namang may nakita akong sign doon. Kumunot ang noo ko. I'm not familiar with the place, though.

“Welcome to Nightvale," nilingon ko siya. “Where are we? Parang kanina pa tayo bumabyahe."

He didn't give me an answer. Inikot niya ang sasakyan at pumasok kami sa isang gubat. The familiar feeling came rushing back when I saw a two story house in the middle. We lived in the middle of the forest and it seems like Azar lives here. Hininto niya ang sasakyan nang nasa harap na kami ng bahay.

Tumingin ako sa kaniya. “What are you planning to do to me?"

Natigil siya sa pagtanggal ng seatbelt. He looked at me with knotted forehead.

“Dito tayo mag-uusap, sa loob ng bahay ko."

“Puwede naman sa opisina mo sa club! Why do you have to bring me here for what?"

“More privacy." Natawa ako. "Privacy?! Nagbibiro ka ba? If you want privacy then—"

“Shh!" he hushed me! Natanggal na niya ng tuluyan ang seatbelt niya at binuksan ang pinto sa side niya.

Nilingon niya ako. "Baba," utos niya at lumabas.

Dire-diretso siyang pumasok sa kabahayan. Tinanggal ko na rin ang seatbelt at bumaba sa sasakyan. Padabog ko pa iyon sinara. Inilibot ko ang tingin sa paligid.

Clean and green, that's how I described the place. Presko dahil sa masimoy na hanging. The outside of his house was painted in white, may tatlong baitang ng hagdan at sa tapat nito ay pinto papasok ng bahay. May malawak na terrace, sa kanang bahagi ay may hanging chair na kasya ang dalawang tao. Napakasimple para sa isang katulad niya.

Pumasok ako sa loob.

Nakita ko siyang may hinahanda sa lamesa sa sala. Lumapit ako sa kaniya.

“Mag-usap na tayo para makauwi na ako," sabi ko at umupo sa sofa.

“You need to eat," aniya.

“Umiling ako. "Hindi ako nagugutom. Mas gusto kong magpahinga."

“Then rest. Saka na natin pag-usapan ang nangyari kapag hindi ka na pagod."

I stared at him.

He's wearing a black dress shirt folded on his forearm. Kaya naman nasisilayan ko ang bawat paggalaw ng muscles niya roon. Namula ako nang makita ang mga bakas doon. Kulay nyebe pa naman ang kutis niya kaya kitang-kita ang mga mamumulang pantal doon. Hindi ko maiwasang maalala ang gabing iyon.

“Ngayon na! Ayokong patagalin pa..." He stopped drinking.

“Then eat," sabay baba ng baso.

“Ayoko," pagmamatigas ko.

Sinikop ko ang buhok ko at nilagay sa kaliwang balikat. Napunta roon ang tingin niya lalo na sa leeg kong nakalahad.

Pinagmasdan ko siya. It's so satisfying to see him crave for me. His eyes were dark and full of lust. I can't help but to tease him more. Inangat ko ang hita at pinatong sa isa pa. My skirt goes up giving him enough skin to feast. Uminom ulit siya ng isang baso ng tubig.

Tumikhim siya. "I want an arrangement with you," parang usapang negosyo ang tono niya. "I want you most nights in my bed. And I can feel that you want me, too. Kaya huwag na nating patagalin ang usapan."

I expected this to happen. Pero parang pinapalabas niya na papayag agad ako sa huli niyang sinabi! I mean, yes! I'll agree but there are terms to arrange first before anything else. Tumuwid ako ng upo.

“Excuse me?! Gusto kitang makasiping pero hindi ako easy to get na babae!"

"Really? What about our first night?" “I was drunk!"

Tumango-tango siya na para bang walang kuwenta ang dahilan ko. Umupo siya sa pang-isahang sofa at naghari roon.

“First, I don't want you f*****g anyone else but me. Not your flings, boyfriend, or anyone. Just me, Emory”, he sounded territorial.

But still, I nodded. I felt like I was under his spell.

“I don't want this to be just one-sided so, I hope you'll not bang anyone else, too, but me. Ayokong makakuha ng sakit mula sa ibang babae na ikakama mo. I want you clean."

Tumaas ang kilay niya. Kalaunan ay tumango rin.

“Isa pa, I don't do commitment, Az," seryoso kong sabi. "This setup, it was made because we're to satisfy each other's needs. Nothing more and nothing less..." pinahina ko ang boses noong huli.

“What if I want a commitment?"

Ngumisi ako. “That means we're over. Easy."

Matagal niya akong tinitigan, tinatantiya ang ekspresiyon ko. I remained serious just how serious I was when I proposed no commitment in this arrangement. Kasi ayoko talaga. Not with him.

“Alright, then. No commitment..." pinag-siklop niya ang mga daliri. Damn! How I love those long fingers. "Another thing, no personal questions."

“No personal questions. I'm fine with that," ayokong malaman niya ang buhay ko at ganoon din naman ako sa kaniya.

I wonder if he has past flings as I do. Hindi naman siya mukhang santo para hindi maranasan ang iba pang s****l activities. He was a virgin but, was it also his first time to be kissed? Hindi naman siguro. He's a good kisser!

Of course, may na-praktisan na siya sa field na iyon. Imposible namang wala. Pinaningkitan ko siya ng mata.

“Are you a clingy or a jealous partner? If yes, then might as well end our discussion and just find—"

“No," he immediately answered. "I'm not, so I hope you are, too."

Tumawa ako. Bakit parang ang defensive ng dating niya?

“What's funny?" Umiling ako, natatawa.

“Did you even have a girlfriend?"

Tumalim ang tingin niya. His jaw moved a bit but then, he smirked.

“What happened to no personal questions? Kakasabi ko—"

I raised my hand. "Oo na! Hindi ko iyon kakalimutan. Parang nadala lang, e..." umisod ako ng kaunti. "Anyway, how old are you?"

“That's personal—" I cut him again.

“C'mon! I don't like young or too old men! Gusto kong malaman para naman may dahilan akong umatras."

He stared at me intently. Ngiting-ngiti rin naman akong nakipaglabanan sa kaniya ng titigan. C'mon, Azar! Sabihin mo para may rason akong pigilan ang kahibangan kong ito. Pigil ang hininga ko nang bumuka ang bibig niya. Sinundan ko pa iyon ng tingin.

“Twenty-four..." I breathed heavily. Parang may tinik na natanggal sa lalamunan ko dahil sa narinig.

“That's fine. I'm just twenty-five," I grab a piece of bread.

“What about the schedule? Kailan ka hindi busy?" he asked.

“I'm a very busy person, Azar. I work every weekday, then party on Friday night, pero minsan ay pumapasok ako tuwing Sabado, just like now.” I continued eating. “How about you?"

“Hindi lang A Club ang hinahawakan ko. I'll just call you whenever I feel horny."

“I'm not a damn call girl."

“I'm giving you my permission to call me, too."

I rolled my eyes.

He went down on his one knee and grabbed my wrist, his eyes on mine then on my bread, then back on my eyes again. He leaned on and took a bite while staring at me. Bolta-boltaheng kuryente ang dumaloy sa katawan ko nang maramdaman ang dila niya sa daliri ko. Muntikan ko pa iyon mabitawan. He chewed the food.

“It's settled, then." Wala sa sarili akong tumango.

“Yes..." para akong hinihingal nang magsalita.

“Okay, let's kiss..." he grabbed my nape and kissed me fully on my lips.

I felt him smiled between our kisses when I kissed him back with the same ferocity. This is so wrong on so many levels but the burning desire I have for him, too, is blazing. Hinihingal kami nang maghiwalay.

“You want to go home now?" he asked and I nodded. Dahil tanghali pa ay binalik niya ako sa kompanya. I didn't know my mind is still working not until I finished writing a report for our new product that would be launch days from now. Kakabalik lang ni Mama Astrid at sobrang busy namin sa mga sumunod na araw. I don't want to disappoint anyone so I really tried my best to make the event more successful and fruitful.

Then the day of launching the Vyn came. May mga Vervain na nakapaligid sa paligid, at mayroon pang dala si Mama Astrid habang nagp-present siya sa unahan. High profiles and then media capturing every moment.

I put my hand on my waist and showed my one leg and high heel through my high slit dress before looking at the camera. Wearing my split side black mermaid off-shoulder dress, I walked away and sat at our assigned table.

“Hey," bati ng isa roon.

“Hey..." Sa round table, kasama ko si Mama Astrid at ang iba pang matataas na tao.

Wala si Mama at nakipag-usap sa iba pa. Then this guy beside me is one of them. He looks so soft maybe because he's Asian. Unlike him...

“Congratulations! I heard from your mother that you organized this event, wow! This is beyond amazing!"

Ngumiti ako. "Thank you..." Inangat ko ang crystal glass na may wine at sumipsip doon.

“I'm Steven, son of Mrs. & Mr. Co., you know my family, right?"

No, and I don't care about your name.

Plastik ko siyang nginitian. "Emory Du Marais."

“I know! Tita Astrid mentioned you a lot of times!"

“Really?" sabay mahina akong tumawa.

“She told me good things about you and that urged me to know you more. I'm so glad because I met you," he stared at me. "Tita showed me your pictures. Ang sabi pa niya ay baka raw maging mag-kasundo tayo. Well, it's not bad..."

Bakit parang lugi pa siya? Tipid na lang akong ngumiti at pinagmasdan na lamang ang ibang tao na nagsisiyahan. Pilit pinaparamdam na hindi ako interesado.

Azar hasn't call nor text me for days after that day. Is this ghosting?! I mean, hindi naman kailangan na ipaalam niya sa akin ang nangyayari sa buhay niya. Pero ni ha ni ho ay wala man lang! It's not that I'm expecting. Nakaka-offend lang sa parte ko. Hindi ba ako ka-text-text? Or maybe he's not a fan of texting. Or maybe he's just waiting for me to text or call him first? I don't know! And I don't have plan to know!

Mas mabuti na nga ito. Ayaw ko rin naman na ma-involve sa buhay niya. And he said he would just call me if he's horny.

In conclusion, he wasn't feeling horny for the past four days. Well, that's good! That means he's not a sucker for s*x.

Tumayo ako nang lumapit si Mama Astrid. She was smiling from ear to ear. Hinawakan niya ang siko ko.

“Emory, come with me. May ipapakilala ako sa 'yo."

“Who?" Tinagilid niya ang ulo at may tiningnan sa likod ko.

“Oh, Steven! Nakita mo na pala si Emory!" Napaharap tuloy ako. Nakatayo si Steven at naroon na naman ang ngiti niya.

“Opo, Tita. Actually, nagka-usap na rin po kami kanina..." aniya na parang nahihiya pa.

“Ganoon ba? Hihiramin ko muna itong si Emory, huh?" Mama Astrid looked at me. "Halika. Naghihintay na sila."

“Ma..."

“Just come with me."

Wala na akong nagawa nang marahan niya akong hinila. Pumunta kami sa isang table. May tatlong nakaupo roon. Their faces were familiar but I can't remember their names. Basta ang alam ko ay isang pamilya ang nasa harap namin ngayon. One old man and woman, then a younger version na kamukha nila.

Tumayo sila nang makita kami, maliban sa isa. Mukhang mataray pa.

“Oh, is this Emory? Your daughter, Astrid?"

Tumango si Mama, bahagya pa akong siniko. Nakuha ko naman agad iyon. Ngumiti ako nang matamis at nagpakilala. I'm not really in the mood to fake a smile. Nasaan ba kasi sila Mallory? And why did I left my phone in my car?

And seriously? A twenty-five-year-old me facing this kind of situation? Umupo sila at ganoon din kami.

“This is Lia, your Kuya Simeon's fiancé."

“Ma?" nagtataka kong tanong. "Does he know about this? Her?" tukoy ko sa babae.

Pinisil ni Mama ang kamay ko. She has this meaningful smile everyone couldn't decipher. If she's planning something, I know she would talk about it soon. I'll just have to go with the flow.

I sighed deeply. Natapos ang gabi ko sa pakipag-plastikan doon sa Lia. Pagod na pagod akong pumasok sa sasakyan. I don't know if I could still drive now that I feel sleepy. I rested my head on the steering wheel to take a nap when my phone rang.

Umungol ako, nagp-protesta. Who would call me at times like this? I fetched my phone.

Nagising yata ang diwa ko nang makita ang pangalan niya roon. I blinked twice.

He's calling. I was about to answer when it stopped. Umawang ang bibig ko.

“What the hell..." Naghintay ako ng ilang segundo at hindi naman ako nabigo.

He called again! I answered it seconds later.

“Are you horny?" salubong ko.

“I'll fetch you tomorrow morning. Get ready..." he told me instead. His voice sounds tired.

Salubong ang kilay ko. "I'm busy. Didn't I tell you I have work every weekday?"

“You did but I want you to clear your schedule..." he paused. "For me..."

“I still—"

“I got your address from your cousin. Tomorrow morning, Emory. I will wait..." he hangs up.

Napatitig na lang ako sa cellphone. Tomorrow is my rest day. Pero malabo akong makapag-pahinga dahil kay Azar!