Choosing August

Chapter 7

It took Cal’s mother for him to realize how long it had been since he’d seen me.

Almost a month and a half.

Cal was the one who told me.

“Yeah, my mom asked when the last time was that I’d seen you,” he said. “I started going back through everything, trying to figure it out, and then I realized it had been a month and a half.”

Margie immediately started guilting him.

“If he’s your best friend, you should be making more time for him.”

“Well, it’s true,” she added when Cal looked at her.

Of course she was there too.

“I know I demand a lot from you,” Margie continued, “but you should include him more.”

“He doesn’t like the stuff we like.”

“How do you know?” I asked.

Cal went quiet.

“Well, I guess I don’t.” He rubbed the back of his neck. “I just assumed you wouldn’t want to be the third wheel.”

“I guess being a third wheel at least means you get to go somewhere. It’s better than sitting in your dorm room wondering whether the world is happening without you.”

Margie looked at me and laughed.

“You have such a weird way of putting things.”

“Yeah. I do.”

“Come on,” Cal said. “We’re going to this party. We’re going to have a good time. I promise I won’t make out with Margie the entire night, and I’ll actually talk to you.”

“Yeah,” Margie said. “Actually be a good friend for once. As much as I enjoy kissing you, there are other things you can do. Other people you can talk to.”

Cal looked at her. “You would like that. You want to talk to other guys.”

“No, I don’t.”

“Like you did at that one party?”

“I was drunk, and nothing came from it. I wasn’t flirting. You only thought I was flirting. I was asking him about his major because it was actually interesting.”

“No, it wasn’t. He was a criminologist.”

“That actually is interesting,” I said.

Margie pointed toward me. “See? Augie agrees.”

“Stay out of our spats,” Cal said.

I laughed. “Wouldn’t dream of it.”

I wasn’t much of a party person, although I’d been to my fair share.

Being friends with Cal and Margie gave me access to some fairly popular circles. I was always there by association.

You wouldn’t have caught me dead going to one alone. I would’ve been the loser standing in the corner while everyone quietly wondered who had invited me.

When I went with other people, though, I could blend in.

I even made an effort with my clothes.

Cal insisted on helping me choose an outfit. According to him, I needed to look good for once instead of dressing entirely for comfort.

So I was styling a little.

The party was being held at a lake house, and much of it would be outside. Behind the house was a wide grassy slope leading toward the water, with scattered trees and a space set up for a barbecue.

I’d passed the property a few times while boating with Cal. He always called it the pristine place.

Apparently, he had met the guy whose parents owned it. The parents were away, and the house was mostly used as a vacation property.

Cal had been invited.

Naturally, he brought Margie.

And me.

I wore a fitted gray thermal shirt to keep warm, with a plaid button-up layered over it. The plaid was actually stylish, with lavender and muted purple running through the gray. I paired it with good jeans and a pair of shoes Cal had bought for me.

I had told him not to.

“These are your style,” he’d insisted. “And they’re your color.”

“Is this your offering for not seeing me for a month and a half?”

“Of course. Just accept it.”

So I did.

For one second, I wanted to kiss him.

Not romantically. Just a quick kiss that said, You’re sweet. Thank you.

Then I realized maybe part of me did want to kiss him romantically.

Cal had sandy auburn hair. Not a comb-over—he had plenty of hair—but it was styled in a way that swept neatly to one side. He stood six feet tall, a few inches above my five-eight, and somehow always looked stylish while also appearing completely relaxed.

He had light freckles across his face and a smile that suggested he already knew what he was going to say next.

Golden retriever energy, with just enough black cat mixed in to keep people guessing.

I missed Cal.

I couldn’t tell him that. I might start crying, and he wouldn’t understand why it mattered so much.

I desperately needed some guy to want me.

Or at least want to be around me, even if it was only friendship.

But I needed to stop thinking about that.

We were already walking into the house and making our way toward the back, where the party had spread across the yard.

There were far more people than I’d anticipated.

“Great,” I muttered.

“Come on,” Cal said. “Stick with me.”

I did.

I grabbed a drink and stayed beside him while Margie immediately spotted friends from her school and went over to talk to them.

Cal glanced at me.

“So, it’s been a while.”

“Yeah.”

“Are you okay?” he asked. “You seem kind of lost.”

I could have told him the truth.

Yes, I was lost.

I had no idea what came next. I didn’t know what my life was supposed to become, or who would still be there when I figured it out.

Instead, I shrugged.

“I just have a lot on my mind, you know?”

“Yeah.” He took a drink. “You sure you don’t want to talk about it?”

“What’s the point? You don’t have time.”

He looked away.

“I know you’re making a joke, but you’re being serious too. You’re doing that thing you do, Augie.”

“I’m not trying to pick a fight, Cal. I’m being honest. I’m just trying to be light about it.”

He nodded slowly. “I feel like I’ve neglected you.”

I didn’t answer.

“And your silence says I have.”

“You have a girlfriend.”

“Both Margie and my mom said I need to be more purposeful about spending time with you.”

“I’m not going to say I don’t want to spend time with you. But it’s not like I’m your boyfriend or anything.”

I said it jokingly.

Cal laughed, but then something shifted in his expression.

He looked at me strangely before turning his attention elsewhere.

“Sorry,” I said. “That was a joke. I didn’t mean anything by it.”

“No. I just thought it was a weird choice of words.” He paused. “Especially after being around that lesbian couple.”

He lowered his voice slightly.

“I’m not homophobic. I just didn’t realize there were that many gay people around town.”

“Well, they exist.”

“They weren’t anything like the stereotypes.”

“Gay people don’t have to be stereotypes, Cal.”

“Yeah.” He nodded. “I guess. Go figure.”

He studied me again.

“Are you really okay?”

“I’ll be fine, Cal. You don’t want to stand over here talking to me all night. Go interact with people.”

“No. I’m not leaving you. I know how you are at parties. You’ll try to disappear.” He looked toward Margie and then back at me. “We’re spending the evening together, or Margie’s going to kill me.”

“Oh, Margie can’t do that.”

Cal looked down. “That isn’t what I meant. I’m not only doing this because of Margie. I realize that’s how it sounded.”

“I think you’re overthinking it, bud.”

He finally looked directly at me.

“I’m worried about you.”

“Will you stop?”

“You’ll talk to me eventually.”

“You’re making something out of nothing.” I motioned toward the rest of the party. “Come on. Let’s walk the room.”

And we did.