When She Cries

When Melancholy and Happiness Collide

Depression, a feeling of loss of interest in activities you once enjoyed. It decreases a person’s ability to function at work and at home. An emotion so strong, people struggling with this tend to lead to suicidal thoughts due to the feeling of having no worth.

I had been so aloof after the fight. I tend to isolate myself, and not socialize even to my closest friends. I wasn't performing lately, and I am not uploading any videos on my channel. I'm currently in my rough path, hit rock bottom, my friends seem to notice but I can't tell them the exact reason why I had to lose my interest in things that once made me happy.

" Bella, you had not been yourself lately, I notice you are not passing the performance metrics, which is so unusual of you. It has been affecting the team scores, and worse it may affect your promotion. You need to take some time off. " Mrs. Azurea, my operations manager, pats me on the back and handed me the leave form.

I had not been myself lately due to our almost everyday conflicts. The violent contact with Gino had greatly changed my life. It did not only create fear but it clouded my mind with thoughts of ending my life. I had been convinced that I am really am of no worth, that I might as well end my life to end his agony. To the point that I was about to grab the knife on our kitchen, and almost slit my wrist. I can't eat, nor sleep thinking that he might strangle me when I'm asleep. It has not been healthy since it affected my relationship with others, as well as work. So I decided to take a sabbatical leave, I needed a vacation to get my mind fixed.

I booked a shared tour online bound to Palawan, one of the most visited attractions in our country. I am traveling alone this time and decided that on this trip I'll be on a social media detox. It's a week-long trip, I packed my things, and started to leave Gino a note. I will be leaving before he gets home to avoid the interaction. I just needed this time off, time away from the man who once may have made me feel loved, but for some reason also caused me all this pain.

Gino,

By the time you are reading this, I am on my way to my flight bound to Palawan. I am on sabbatical leave, and I chose to spend it alone to help me fix what you broke. I apologize if I didn't notify you sooner, I am avoiding even the simplest interaction with you to avoid further damage. I hope you do understand. I'll be on a one week trip, and my phone will be turned off all throughout my tour. I had decided to go on complete social media detox until the time I get back. I do hope by that time you had already ponder on the current situation of the marriage. Take this time off to think of how you wanna proceed with this relationship. ~ Bella

I placed the letter on his bedside, dragged my luggage to my Uber, and headed to the airport.

After a two hour flight, I had reached my destination. I had picked up by the travel agency I had booked with, and they dropped me off to the hotel where I will be staying for a week.

" Ms. Bella, this will be the itinerary for the trip. Strict call time will be followed, the van will be leaving even without the other tourists, please make it a habit to check the schedule. With this envelope includes your breakfast passes, the accommodation is offering free breakfast on the duration of your stay. All the necessary information you need to know about the trip is placed in this envelope, my contact number is stated below some of the documents feel free to contact me if you have additional questions. " Sophie, our tour guide. handed me an envelope. " Thank you. " I replied, and headed to the reception for my reservation.

The accommodation I am staying offers a serene ambiance. It's a four-star hotel in Palawan, with a lavish interior. I was accompanied by one of their staff to the room.

" Here's your keycard Ma'am, if you need anything feel free to use the intercom, our staff will be happy to serve you. " and he left.

I was given the ocean-view suite. The moment you enter the room, you can see a small living room and a kitchenette, flat-screen television and own wifi connection. One bedroom for a solo traveler, but it has this queen-sized bed, with soft and silky gold linens, and fluffy pillows. It has a large terrace, with a grand view facing the vast seas. The room was painted in white with a touch of gold, with angel wallpapers, giving it an elegant look. It offers a spacious bathroom, with a tub, and a hot and cold shower. The room is perfect for relaxation, just as I wanted. I started unpacking my things and checked my itinerary schedule for tomorrow.

The tour that I booked was good for 12 tourists. It was perfect for solo travelers like me, and a good way to meet new people. People who do not know you, so they can't get to judge you. But I'm not here for friends, I'm here to unwind, to have a way to think about our marriage.

I woke up from a good sleep, it's already 7 in the evening. My phone was at my bedside table. I was about to turn it on when I remember that I'm not supposed to be on my phone for the rest of my trip. So I dressed up, and when down to the hotel's restaurant to eat.

I took the table on the garden side and was enjoying my dinner when someone approached me. " Is this seat taken? " said a man behind me. Judging by his appearance he looks to be around in his late 20's, he has this mohawked hairstyle, fair skin, and those big brown sexy eyes. His bad boy look, make him attractive to the ladies, but not me. Bella, you are not here for friends, you are here to reflect, I reminded myself.

I turned around to see if the restaurant is not packed with tourists. If there are no available tables since it's kinda weird to be sharing a table with a stranger. He then placed his plate on my table, " I know there are available tables, but if you don't mind, I'd like to sit here it has a good view. Don't worry you don't have to talk to me. I'll just be having my dinner at peace. By the way, Tristan. " and he offered a hand, waiting for a handshake.

" Not a problem, you can sit here. " I smiled back and offered my hand. We ate our dinner without even talking. When I was about to finish my last piece, " I guess, I'll get going then. Nice to meet you. " He smiled back, and I headed back to my room. I need to have a good sleep, need to wake up early tomorrow for my first day of the tour here in Palawan.