Chapter Twelve
1189 Words
S A S H A
"Come on, guys. Let's go to the park." I hollered.
Avery and Ashley thundered down the stairs with Shan on tow. She was whining like a little girl forced to eat her veggies.
"Hurry up, Mom!" They shouted as they pushed Shay out the door.
I heard her grunt when she stepped out of the house.
She looked really beautiful in her dress, which in some odd reason, makes me miss her even more. I miss her. All of her. Because this girl isn't the Shay I love. This girl isn't her. I can touch my Shay, tell her I love her and kiss her until it leads to something more. And the fact that she's within arms' reach kills me. Because nothing is more unbearable than being next to someone you love, knowing you couldn't touch her.
Shay drove us to the park and as soon as we parked, Avery and Ashley bolted out of the car and rushed to the playground. Shay got out and walked with me to the swings while mumbling and kicking rocks.
"Why are you so mad?" I asked.
"What do you mean?" She murmured.
"Our kids are having fun and usually when they laugh or smile, you do it too. But right now, you remain...blank."
"Are you seriously starting right now?" She snapped.
I sighed. "Sorry. I just..."
"Just what?" She asked.
Just love you so much, I want you to be happy. "Nothing." I shrugged.
She sat on one of the swings and I sat on the other, kicking the ground lightly to push me in motion. "Are you in love with her?" I asked her and she looked up at me.
"Why do you keep turning the tables?" She mumbled.
"Answer my question." I demanded.
"You didn't answer mine." I heard her huff.
We both fell into a round of awkward silence until we heard our twin's little footsteps pitter-pat closer to us. She sat up and shakily ran her hand through her hair. She cleared her throat then she faked a smile when they reached where we were at. I also put on a smile but mine was more genuine. The thought of them forgiving me still makes me giddy.
"Hey bud. What's up?" I asked Avery as he pouted.
"Can you come play hide and seek with us? Please?" He stuck his lower lip out.
"Please. Please. Please. Pleaaase..." Ashley agreed. She clasped her two hands together.
Shan looked at me and she nodded. I huffed. "Fine."
There was a chorus of "yay's" from Avery and Ashley then a chorus of groans from me and Shan.
Ashley did some weird counting and her finger landed on my ex-wife. She laughed and we started running all around, trying to find a good hiding spot. Avery ended up underneath a picnic table and Ashley went behind the huge slide. I ran around until I found an enormous tree and I hid behind it, giggling from the rush.
I waited for like three minutes sitting behind the tree with my arms wrapped around my knees and my chin resting on it. What's taking her so long? Sheesh. Is she pretending to forget about looking for me? I stood up from my position and carefully peeked out the trunk. Shay is looking for someone right now, that's for sure. She seemed to have moved from her original spot. I stepped out of the tree and looked around. No sign of her. I slowly tried to return to my previous position and turned my back away from the field.
I honestly didn't know where she was until she jumped right in front of me and scared the living s**t inside me. I let out a strangled shriek and she laughed in my face.
"You should've seen the look on your face. Ha!"
She was unconsciously pinning me to the tree and her face was dangerously close to mine. But I didn't try to move her away from me. This is the first I've seen her genuinely laugh about something for the time being and I just couldn't tear my eyes from her pretty face.
I caressed her cheek and she stopped laughing, but she didn't glare or snap at me. Her soulful brown eyes stared into my own with undeniable love. She let herself smile and she even went the extra mile by snuggling her cheek closer to my hand. She clamped her eyes shut and cupped the hand resting on her face.
"I love you." She whispered almost inaudibly, on the verge of tears.
"I love you too." I answered with small teardrops in my eyes.
She took my hand and dropped it from her face to our hips and she intertwined them. I did the same with our free ones and she leaned her forehead on mine, her breathing slowing as if she was almost falling asleep. Her lips got closer and closer to my own and as our noses touched, she planted a loving kiss on my lips.
It was then that I felt loved. And not just the love she used to make me feel before, right now it was urgent but at the same time it was so slow. I reciprocated the kiss and untangled one of my hands from hers to place it behind her neck and use it as my anchor to pull me closer to my ex-wife. She put her free hand on my hip as she deepened the kiss, adding a lot more force. Her lips went to my jaw and she peppered light kisses down there. My head hit the tree trunk as we continued to make out. After a minute, she pulled away and she wrapped her arms around my smaller frame, putting her chin in my shoulder.
She hummed. "I don't know what we're doing, but I love it."
"I do too. As much as I love you."
She giggled and I felt her blush. "This is so wrong in so many levels." She smiled.
I kissed the crook of her neck. "But it feels right." I whispered.
"Can we try like-" She started but was cut off by a frantic shout.
"Mom! Mommy! Where are you?!"
She pulled away like lightning and I immediately missed her warmth. "Oh s**t, the kids."
We bolted back into the field and waved at Ashley and Avery standing in the very middle. When we reached them, they appeared to be mad at us.
"I'm starving and tired." Ashley whined.
"Amen." Avery mumbled. "Where were you, guys?"
Shan shrugged. "Nothing. Just talking." She smiled.
They both nodded. We fell into an uncomfortable silence until I broke the ice. "Where do you guys wanna eat?" I asked.
"Prima's!" They shouted and ran off to where the car was parked.
When they were a few feet away from us, Shan discreetly took my hand and lightly gave it a kiss. "Come on." She said, tugging my hand.
We ran after them and we both laughed as the wind made our hair flutter behind us.
Until her ringtone almost took out my hearing.
- Writer
