END of Romance

Yes!finally guys we've graduated now,Goodluck to your new journey. Congrats also for you Cess! Hmmm...thank you Kristine, By the way Cess lastly you told me that once you've finished studying you and your brother will be back to your real place. Ahh..uhm..true Kristine and I don't know if i will continue to take collage But why Cess?,don't give up just trust to our God ok,he will provide for that.Just believe in yourself also. Thank you beshy,,,so lets go take a picture for remembrance. After one year Cess is go back to her place and she missed all memories that she had in Mindoro while she is studying highschool.Cess is from poor family and the reason why she is studied at Mindoro because her Older brother was married a woman who is from there.Cess life was very hard to reach her dream so that her brother bring her on Mindoro to continue her study.In short her Old brother helped their parents to sustain her needs in school. she is absolutely gorgeous but that's not even close to be her biggest asset, she is extremely smart, speaks 4 languages, got 2 masters at the same time while volunteeringr at a juvey Center helping trouble kids (we are both lawyers), we work for an organization that helps immigrant kids and families providing free legal assistance, I started there as an intern and was offered a job and ended up liking it but not her, she wanted to be there, she worked so hard to apply for a job here, she cares about all the kids and has an amazing relationship with them, they all love her she's just so natural, she is also super funny and I am genuinely in love with her, I thought it was a crush but it's been a year and she's all I can think about. I would never tell her anything, it would hurt her, she's How do I tell a co-worker that I am in love with her? Ok. Let's get real here. If you've never seen her naked, spent the night at her place, or know something about her mood swings when it's that time of the month… You're not in love with her. And that's… perfectly fine! See what's happening right now is chemistry of the mind- metabolic f*****g. You're infatuated with her. Again, perfectly normal. Understand? Now… if you don't want to f**k this up- never How do you handle falling in love with a coworker? I've had an enormous crush on my work colleague for almost two years now. And I'm still not sure if she feels about me the same way I feel about her. What should I do? I've fallen in love with a work colleague but she's started a relationship with someone else outside of work. Should I tell her how I feel about her? How can I tell a co-worker that I love her when her friends at work said that she doesn't want a relationship with co-workers? She doesn't know that I have developed strong feelings for her. How do you get over a woman you have a serious crush on, who also happens to be a coworker? Don’t do that. I’m going to clue you in on a little secret: Nobody really cares how you feel. That sounds harsh, but it’s true. She doesn’t care, your momma doesn’t care, your friends don’t care. Nobody cares. Do you know what your coworker might care about? She might care about the opportunity to join you for coffee. She might care about a good conversation you’re having with her. She might care about the empathy you show toward her or the interest you take in her. Then again, she might not. It’s a big uncertainty. So, instead of telling her what you’re feeling, give her some reason to care. Ask her for coffee and then just talk to her. Get to know her. Ask her about herself. Find out what she thinks and how she feels. If you love her, that’s going to be way more important to you than selfishly announcing your feelings to her and then expecting her to respond somehow. And by the way: If she says no, leave her alone. How do I tell a co-worker that I am in love with her? Ok. Let's get real here. If you've never seen her naked, spent the night at her place, or know something about her mood swings when it's that time of the month… You're not in love with her. And that's… perfectly fine! See what's happening right now is chemistry of the mind- metabolic f*****g. You're infatuated with her. Again, perfectly normal. Understand? Now… if you don't want to f**k this up- never How do you handle falling in love with a coworker? I've had an enormous crush on my work colleague for almost two years now. And I'm still not sure if she feels about me the same way I feel about her. What should I do? I've fallen in love with a work colleague but she's started a relationship with someone else outside of work. Should I tell her how I feel about her? How can I tell a co-worker that I love her when her friends at work said that she doesn't want a relationship with co-workers? She doesn't know that I have developed strong feelings for her. How do you get over a woman you have a serious crush on, who also happens to be a coworker? Don’t do that. I’m going to clue you in on a little secret: Nobody really cares how you feel. That sounds harsh, but it’s true. She doesn’t care, your momma doesn’t care, your friends don’t care. Nobody cares. Do you know what your coworker might care about? She might care about the opportunity to join you for coffee. She might care about a good conversation you’re having with her. She might care about the empathy you show toward her or the interest you take in her. Then again, she might not. It’s a big uncertainty. So, instead of telling her what you’re feeling, give her some reason to care. Ask her for coffee and then just talk to her. Get to know her. Ask her about herself. Find out what she thinks and how she feels. If you love her, that’s going to be way more important to you than selfishly announcing your feelings to her and then expecting her to respond somehow. And by the way: If she says no, leave her alone. I just inherited $253,000. What’s the best way to invest it? Judging by your answer, I can’t know the following things: Where you live Your circumstances Your income and if you need this money to fund your lifestyle or not Are you an expat or local Your current age and other things about your circumstances How much risk do you want to take. A good financial plan is bespoke to your circumstances - not what the latest news headlines show. The biggest reasons people fail in investing are analyzing and watching fear-mongering news too much, getting emotional, and also taking random advice from friends. People who succeed in investing tend to do the following things: If you have to ask us this question, you aren’t in love with your co-worker. How do I know? Because if you had a healthy friendship in place with your co-worker, you’d be able to tell her this no problem. In fact, she’d already know. You don’t love your co-worker, you lust her or you infatuate her. I know, it feels like love, but it isn’t. Love only comes about as a result of deep, close friendship. It doesn’t arrive any other way. I know, I know, lots of other people claim to “fall in love” in similar ways to which you think you have. But all that proves is that most people have no idea what love is, and that most people mistake infatuation, lust and neediness for love. Sad, but very, very true. I suggest you dial back your feelings and take the time to really get to know your co-worker -as a friend. Not as a romantic “conquest” or love interest. but just as a person. Look past all the fizz and bubble about how good looking she is, how she makes you “hard” whenever you think about her, and look at her as a person. What’s her favorite color? Why things make her scared, happy, angry, or frustrated? What kind of music does she like? Is she a stay at home person or a “party girl”? Does she like children? Are both her parents still alive? What religion is she and does she follow her faith seriously or not? What kind of man is she looking for? Can you talk to her about any topic, or do you have to tiptoe around some subjects? I think if you really sit down and take stock of what you really know about this person, and how good a friendship you have, you will find that really, you barely know her. You are likely doing the good old “I like the look of that girl - she turns me on. I want her. I’m going to get her” thing that most people do. Which is the worst possible way to start a relationship. This girl you’re fixated on and infatuated with isn’t a piece of meat. She isn’t a pair of boobs and a v****a. She isn’t something to be ogled and fantasized over. She is, first and foremost, a human being. Which means at the very least you owe it to her to slowly get to know her ONLY as her friend until you can see whether these faux feelings of yours are justified or not. For all you know, she might be a conniving, spiteful, fickle, manipulative person who will tear your heart to shreds and stomp all over it with a wicked grin on her face. Or not. The truth is, you have no idea. And until you treat her and yourself with the common decency and respect you both deserve - by learning what it means to be this woman’s real, genuine friend - you will never know. Why? Because people don’t open themselves up to reveal their true nature unless they feel valued, safe and cared about (in a no-agenda kind of way). For decades, starting from when I was around 13, I pursued love in the way that you and almost every else does. I had no idea that the reason my marriages and other relationships kept failing wasn’t because I was insufficient, it wasn’t because I wasn’t putting in enough time, energy and commitment. It was, plainly and simply, because I wasn’t putting the time into friendship ONLY before launching into romance. Indeed, had I done myself a favor by truly befriending all the women I’ve been involved with, I’d have been involved with NONE of them beyond friendship. How can I make that outrageous statement? Because in each and every case, I felt the twinges of hesitation and caution very early on in the “relationship”. But since I’d already committed to pursuing each of them as a love interest, I ignored those warnings and carried on. Had I only been friends with each of those women, time would’ve revealed quite quickly just how unsuitable each were for me to be involved with as more than a friend. I didn’t really know any of them, therefore the “love” I felt for them wasn’t based on a firm foundation. It was based on lust, infatuation, neediness, loneliness, and a bunch of other unhealthy things - and the same was true for each of them in how they interacted with me. The plain truth of the matter is that we CAN’T love someone we don’t know!! It’s just not possible. We can fool ourselves into thinking we can or do, we can even convince ourselves it’s true. But it’s not actually possible, as loving someone implies we know them - and that we know them well. My friend, do yourself a favor and cool your jets. It won’t kill you to put the brakes on your runaway heart and take things slowly. I would strongly recommend you make a number of friends around about you - of all genders - rather than pursue a single person. Why? Because in my experience over the last 50 years, looking at my life and the lives of those around me, the best love usually arrives when we least expect it, from a direction we didn’t expect, in a way we didn’t expect. I know that most people do all this “arse about face”, putting the cart before the horse, but the truth is that most people also have crappy relationships and spend as much time fighting and arguing with the one they supposedly love as anything else (especially in Asian cultures). It needn't be that way, it shouldn’t be that way. When we truly love someone, they will naturally love us, because the love will grow out of real friendship. Now, I’m not saying that all love that grows out of friendship will lead to romance. It won’t. And, that’s OK. But it’s the ONLY way you will ever find true love, the only way you will have the right chance to start a healthy relationship that will last a lifetime and bring you and the other person happiness, togetherness and mutual satisfaction. Blessings to you, my friend. I pray you will have the strength, courage and determination to get off the hamster wheel of “relationships” and “romance” that everyone else is on and try a new way. I pray you will have the maturity and self-respect and quality of personality to seek only friendship with this woman, and others, learning to love them as people, not as conquests. May you discover the joy of being on the journey of discovery of getting to know someone as a person. May you have the patience and steadfastness to not be anxious or fretful about “finding love”, and instead be happy to take the road less traveled, to smell the roses and pick the daisies as you savor the pleasures of friendship with no agenda, no timelines, no expectations. Ok. Let's get real here. If you've never seen her naked, spent the night at her place, or know something about her mood swings when it's that time of the month… You're not in love with her. And that's… perfectly fine! See what's happening right now is chemistry of the mind- metabolic f*****g. You're infatuated with her. Again, perfectly normal. Understand? Now… if you don't want to f**k this up- never How do you handle falling in love with a coworker? I've had an enormous crush on my work colleague for almost two years now. And I'm still not sure if she feels about me the same way I feel about her. What should I do? I've fallen in love with a work colleague but she's started a relationship with someone else outside of work. Should I tell her how I feel about her? How can I tell a co-worker that I love her when her friends at work said that she doesn't want a relationship with co-workers? She doesn't know that I have developed strong feelings for her. How do you get over a woman you have a serious crush on, who also happens to be a coworker? Don’t do that. I’m going to clue you in on a little secret: Nobody really cares how you feel. That sounds harsh, but it’s true. She doesn’t care, your momma doesn’t care, your friends don’t care. Nobody cares. Do you know what your coworker might care about? She might care about the opportunity to join you for coffee. She might care about a good conversation you’re having with her. She might care about the empathy you show toward her or the interest you take in her. Then again, she might not. It’s a big uncertainty. So, instead of telling her what you’re feeling, give her some reason to care. Ask her for coffee and then just talk to her. Get to know her. Ask her about herself. Find out what she thinks and how she feels. If you love her, that’s going to be way more important to you than selfishly announcing your feelings to her and then expecting her to respond somehow. And by the way: If she says no, leave her alone. I just inherited $253,000. What’s the best way to invest it? Judging by your answer, I can’t know the following things: Where you live Your circumstances Your income and if you need this money to fund your lifestyle or not Are you an expat or local Your current age and other things about your circumstances How much risk do you want to take. A good financial plan is bespoke to your circumstances - not what the latest news headlines show. The biggest reasons people fail in investing are analyzing and watching fear-mongering news too much, getting emotional, and also taking random advice from friends. People who succeed in investing tend to do the following things: If you have to ask us this question, you aren’t in love with your co-worker. How do I know? Because if you had a healthy friendship in place with your co-worker, you’d be able to tell her this no problem. In fact, she’d already know. You don’t love your co-worker, you lust her or you infatuate her. I know, it feels like love, but it isn’t. Love only comes about as a result of deep, close friendship. It doesn’t arrive any other way. I know, I know, lots of other people claim to “fall in love” in similar ways to which you think you have. But all that proves is that most people have no idea what love is, and that most people mistake infatuation, lust and neediness for love. Sad, but very, very true. I suggest you dial back your feelings and take the time to really get to know your co-worker -as a friend. Not as a romantic “conquest” or love interest. but just as a person. Look past all the fizz and bubble about how good looking she is, how she makes you “hard” whenever you think about her, and look at her as a person. What’s her favorite color? Why things make her scared, happy, angry, or frustrated? What kind of music does she like? Is she a stay at home person or a “party girl”? Does she like children? Are both her parents still alive? What religion is she and does she follow her faith seriously or not? What kind of man is she looking for? Can you talk to her about any topic, or do you have to tiptoe around some subjects? I think if you really sit down and take stock of what you really know about this person, and how good a friendship you have, you will find that really, you barely know her. You are likely doing the good old “I like the look of that girl - she turns me on. I want her. I’m going to get her” thing that most people do. Which is the worst possible way to start a relationship. This girl you’re fixated on and infatuated with isn’t a piece of meat. She isn’t a pair of boobs and a v****a. She isn’t something to be ogled and fantasized over. She is, first and foremost, a human being. Which means at the very least you owe it to her to slowly get to know her ONLY as her friend until you can see whether these faux feelings of yours are justified or not. For all you know, she might be a conniving, spiteful, fickle, manipulative person who will tear your heart to shreds and stomp all over it with a wicked grin on her face. Or not. The truth is, you have no idea. And until you treat her and yourself with the common decency and respect you both deserve - by learning what it means to be this woman’s real, genuine friend - you will never know. Why? Because people don’t open themselves up to reveal their true nature unless they feel valued, safe and cared about (in a no-agenda kind of way). For decades, starting from when I was around 13, I pursued love in the way that you and almost every else does. I had no idea that the reason my marriages and other relationships kept failing wasn’t because I was insufficient, it wasn’t because I wasn’t putting in enough time, energy and commitment. It was, plainly and simply, because I wasn’t putting the time into friendship ONLY before launching into romance. Indeed, had I done myself a favor by truly befriending all the women I’ve been involved with, I’d have been involved with NONE of them beyond friendship. How can I make that outrageous statement? Because in each and every case, I felt the twinges of hesitation and caution very early on in the “relationship”. But since I’d already committed to pursuing each of them as a love interest, I ignored those warnings and carried on. Had I only been friends with each of those women, time would’ve revealed quite quickly just how unsuitable each were for me to be involved with as more than a friend. I didn’t really know any of them, therefore the “love” I felt for them wasn’t based on a firm foundation. It was based on lust, infatuation, neediness, loneliness, and a bunch of other unhealthy things - and the same was true for each of them in how they interacted with me. The plain truth of the matter is that we CAN’T love someone we don’t know!! It’s just not possible. We can fool ourselves into thinking we can or do, we can even convince ourselves it’s true. But it’s not actually possible, as loving someone implies we know them - and that we know them well. My friend, do yourself a favor and cool your jets. It won’t kill you to put the brakes on your runaway heart and take things slowly. I would strongly recommend you make a number of friends around about you - of all genders - rather than pursue a single person. Why? Because in my experience over the last 50 years, looking at my life and the lives of those around me, the best love usually arrives when we least expect it, from a direction we didn’t expect, in a way we didn’t expect. I know that most people do all this “arse about face”, putting the cart before the horse, but the truth is that most people also have crappy relationships and spend as much time fighting and arguing with the one they supposedly love as anything else (especially in Asian cultures). It needn't be that way, it shouldn’t be that way. When we truly love someone, they will naturally love us, because the love will grow out of real friendship. Now, I’m not saying that all love that grows out of friendship will lead to romance. It won’t. And, that’s OK. But it’s the ONLY way you will ever find true love, the only way you will have the right chance to start a healthy relationship that will last a lifetime and bring you and the other person happiness, togetherness and mutual satisfaction. Blessings to you, my friend. I pray you will have the strength, courage and determination to get off the hamster wheel of “relationships” and “romance” that everyone else is on and try a new way. I pray you will have the maturity and self-respect and quality of personality to seek only friendship with this woman, and others, learning to love them as people, not as conquests. May you discover the joy of being on the journey of discovery of getting to know someone as a person. May you have the patience and steadfastness to not be anxious or fretful about “finding love”, and instead be happy to take the road less traveled, to smell the roses and pick the daisies as you savor the pleasures of friendship with no agenda, no timelines, no expectations. You are not going to start by telling her you love her. First of all, it’s very easy and common to fall in love with a coworker. As many as 1/3 of marriages are between people who met at work. When you’re thrown together all day working together you get to see someone as they really are. You’re close enough to smell their odor; you get to see their values in action; you can see how they treat other people; you see how they dress and look and act. It’s easy to become friends or enemies or lovers - or even fall in love as a result. But if you do fall in love with someone that doesn’t mean you’ve lost your sanity or your rationality. Are you single and available? If not, then what you’re going to do is start looking for another job someplace else and give notice. You are not going to simply jettison your current life because you decide you love someone other than your current significant other. It doesn’t matter if you’re having problems at home or not. Idealizing a new life with a co-worker is a dangerous mistake. Quit your job, work on your current relationship and stop all contact with that former co-worker. The Bible is right on this score - “If your eye be your trouble, then tear it out.” You cannot long live in an environment of temptation without succumbing and doing permanent damage to your primary relationship. You must leave the temptation behind. If you’ve worked together long enough then you know lots about her. Is she single? If not, forget about it. You may love her but she is off limits to you. Are you going to break up a relationship in the hopes of being the rebound? If she leaves her significant other for you, what would preclude her from leaving you for someone else? Get a grip. You do not want to be a homewrecker. If you are both single and available then you’re simply going to ask this person to go to lunch. You’ve already done this plenty of times with no ulterior motive; the co-worker will no doubt agree to join you at some point, if not today then tomorrow or soon. Go someplace where you don’t see your other coworkers. This requires some tact and subtlety and you want the option of getting away with as little humiliation as possible if necessary. When you get your lunch and are eating it, then you let the cat out of the bag. You can tell her that you’ve come to like her and would like to know if she would be open to dating. You don’t tell her you love her. That’s simply too much. You just look them in the eye and tell them that after working together you’ve found that they have the qualities you seek in a partner and that you’d be pleased to try to explore a relationship. And then you go from there. If she is open to the adventure then you’re off to the races. You can explore your feelings while dating, sleeping together and so on. If it does work out it would be better if one of you moved to another department, job or company. It rarely pays off to stay in the same working group while dating. There’s too much opportunity for bad things to happen. Now, if you do ask and the other person is not open to a relationship then you simply tell them thank you very much and that you enjoy working with them and that you hope that will continue in a collegial way despite your asking them out and you go back to work as friends. Yes, it will hurt. But you will have done all the right things. At that point if you can no longer bear working closely with someone you love and not being able to have them then you should change jobs. There is just too much opportunity for bitterness and anger and despair and it’s just not worth it. And your coworker is not going to want to have you sighing and staring at them like a puppy dog all day. There’s a good chance you could get in trouble for creating a hostile work environment. Good luck. Please don’t do this. It has every possibility of damaging your career. It’s too much, too soon. At minimum, it will make work very awkward, whether things work out or not. That you don’t know her feelings about you indicates a lack of communication, the death knell of relationships. You should have spoken to her enough to figure out if she is at all interested in you. What you have is a crush, not love. If you decide to proceed, start low key. Ask her to go out to lunch during the work week. You could get a group together, and invite her as part of the group. Talk to each other, and determine if there is any compatibility. Don’t let your hormones get carried away. Think with your brain and not your p***s. Once you’ve gone out, you’ll both be able to gauge if there is enough common ground to try a relationship. If she turns you down, please back off. Don’t get angry and pushy, insisting she has to.