We meet Again

WHY DID YOU DO IT

What is wrong with people these days, why will you be having an affair with someone. Don't they have self-control or is it self-esteem? What was it called again?

'An affair,' I asked calmly and relaxed my mind. This must be the reason, Shawna felt like she had lost everything.

"Yes,' he answered.

"So,' I said, "how did it start? What happened and who was this lady that made you forget Shawna for a minute.' I asked.

"She...um...she ..."He couldn't look me in the eyes and kept sweating profusely. This is more than just an affair, this is serious. Why is behaving like he killed someone?

"Ryan, is there anything else that you are not telling me?'

"Yes, there is something else..."

"So, spill it. You've been prolonging this issue for a long time and I'm already getting fed up. Tell me, what made you cheat on her, is it that she was not giving you enough s*x or that she isn't doing what you want or..."

"It's not any of that..."

"Then, what is it,' I almost shouted.

"It's not a she, but a man?' He almost shouted too. For a second, that shocked me. Ryan was gay, I never knew that, we lived in the same house together while we were growing up, went to school together and had fun too, together with Makai and Shawna. I never even suspected for a second that he was gay. Back then, in high school he was moving and hanging out with girls a lot, even before he started dating Shawna and although Makai was the worst and a complete womanizer. How come, I never suspected anything like that in Ryan and he hid it so well. I always thought he liked girls.

"I know, you are disgusted, right? I would feel the same way if I were in your position too. And..."

I interrupted. "When did it start,' I didn't want to hear anything concerning how he was regretting it and all that. What I was concerned about, was when it started. And, besides it will be funny if he talks about how gay disgusted me, while I'm gay myself.

"I started working in the office with Shawna when I got promoted. Doing my usual routine, when I noticed a man winking at me. Then, he started helping me out with almost everything and also invited me out for a date..."

"Did you notice anything, at that point?'' I asked.

"He was so nice to me, that I ...I felt touched by his kind gesture,'' he said.

"What do you mean, by that,'

"Yes, I was happy that he was always giving me company and trying his best to please me. He even brought me food to work, and sometimes he comes over when Shawna is not around. I always thought that...one day, he suggested we go for Spa and I agreed, thinking that since Shawna was coming late from work. At least, I was going to relax from the stress that I've been through because of work. We both got there and while getting to the Spa, they suddenly left him and me there. Before I knew it, I felt someone messaging me and when I turned my face to see who it was. It was him, I didn't take it seriously and allowed him to do whatever he wanted. He started rubbing oil on my body and before touching...''He elaborated and stopped, and drew a long sigh.

"So, what happened?' I curiously asked.

"Then, he started stroking me, touching my crotch and to my surprise, I didn't care and he started stroking me and I kept moaning and he started going faster and before I knew it. He ...he sucked me..."

"OK, you don't have to tell me the details,' I quickly said. I was already getting turned on, not because of Ryan, but I started imagining Miguel or Ethan doing that to me, which will be so hot and sexy. How he explained that to me was surprising.

"That was how it all started,' he sounded relieved.

"So, how long have you been going out with him and I bet you've started sleeping with him already.'' This is complicated or am I overreacting here.

"Yes, I slept with him and I've been going out with him for almost a month now.' He said.

"OK. So, how did Shawna find out about this,' I asked, as I wondered.

"We forgot to lock the door and I didn't know she was coming that early and the worst part was, on that day was my birthday and she was planning a surprise party for me and I blew up everything for her.'' He said out of anger and clenched both of his hands into a fist. "She caught him f*****g me?'

"What the hell, Ryan. Couldn't you have done that in a hotel room, rather than the bed you and her, used to sleep on together? Why didn't you break up with her, rather than her finding out about your affair and loathing you for everything you've done to her.' I retorted and hissed. "You are a moron, Ryan. A complete moron. Can you see what you've done? You knew how she is, how she loved you and wanted to get married to you and have kids with you. She followed you, with all her heart and this was how you repay her?' I angrily shouted. I wanted to get up and give him a good punch on the face. What made me angry wasn't the fact he slept with a man, it was the fact that he betrayed an innocent woman who truly loved him. I'm not straight, but I know that any man will love to have someone like her, value her and not let her go. When I saw her this evening, it hurt me, I felt so bad. She doesn't deserve this, she didn't deserve that at all.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry,' he mumbled.

"Sorry, is not going to fix the damage you've caused Ryan. You did something unforgivable and that was to her. If you wanted him, you'd have cut off things with her, without her ever knowing what you are and at least that could have saved more pain than she is now. If you can't handle a relationship, then, don't get into it?'