Ink by me

Finding my voice

Episode 1

The day I realized my life was changing forever started like any other ordinary morning

One cold morning while the sky was slowly brightens washing the darkness away with pale light , cold air brushes my skin as birds begins to sing with their voices gentle and unhurried .

The world feels calm as it stretches awake, my phone rang my eyes were bright opened I checked and saw my uncle name on the line

I was wondering why he was calling .

The last time he called was when I lost my mom .

I stood up from my bed wiped my face and called him back.

I heard a loud voice saying “Thea where are you ,why didn’t you pick earlier ,start coming home now “

I was so confused I didn’t understand what could have gone wrong .

I stood up took a shower, dressed up, picked little clothes and went home .

On my way home a lot was running through my mind and couldn’t think of anything that could be wrong at home .

When I got to my bustop I meet with my old friend and she gave a strange greeting.

At this point nothing concerns me

I just wanted to see my father .

I missed the man so much and couldn’t wait to see him .

I got to my house and meet a lot of people outside crying and immediately they saw me they were mute for some minutes I asked what was wrong and no one said anything.

I saw my cousins outside too and I was wondering why I am seeing all their faces.

I asked Ryan my uncles older son what was wrong he didn’t utter a word but kept on crying .

Ella the younger sister came to hold me and said I should just calm down

Then I said ;

Thea(me) : What happened nah ,is anyone not going to talk .

Ella : Sister Thea your daddy is dead (said with tears )

I was confused and I started laughing

Thea(me): my dad ! How ? When ? Where

No nah you must be joking

Ella : Sister Thea your daddy is dead

You can go inside and check

Then my uncle came outside and I ran to meet him

Thea (Me ): Uncle is it true , where is my daddy ??

Uncle : My Daughter calm down

Thea(Me) : Uncle I’m calm where is my daddy

Uncle : your dad is lying dead inside

Tears rolled down my eyes I ran inside the house and saw my dad covered with a white cloth then I knew it was true .

I ran to the cloth ,opened it and saw my dad laying lifeless .

I couldn’t stop crying ,my eyes were blocked with tears .

My uncle and his children came in a drew me away from his body .

Ella grabbed me tight , I couldn’t move it felt like nothing was left inside of me , I felt so empty I couldn’t breathe ,tears were rolling out uncontrollably. I still couldn’t believe my dad was gone .

My uncle took me out and told me I needed to take heart and continue with life saying my father has gone to rest .

I chuckled and said ;

Thea(me ): Why can’t I go with him ??

Uncle :No my daughter you are still young you just need to keep going and make him proud

Ella : sister you need to stop crying and think of what next

I moved far from them sat beside a tree closed to our house and was asking myself ;

How would I start again , how do I leave without my dad .life feels empty right now ..I feel so down … I feel I don’t exist for anyone anymore .

I couldn’t sleep that night

The next day we buried my dad and I couldn’t stay in that house .

I had to go stay at my uncles house

That night I still couldn’t sleep

Immediately I close my eyes I see my dad

Tears rolled down my eyes

I felt so miserable

Life felt like it was going to end .

Days were passing and still couldn’t get my self .

I had exams to do in school , I had lots of Assignments to submit .

I felt there wasn’t any need for me to go back to school. The man I wanted to make proud is gone already and how am I even going to pay my year 3 and 4 fees without him .

Things were getting hard already but then I felt my dad was always with me and he wants me to succeed .

That night I went to my uncle and told him I wanted to get back to school .then he said ;

Uncle : Thea my love I don’t think you should get going now .

Thea : No sir , I have things to do and my exam is fast approaching and my dad wouldn’t even like me being here without doing my studies .

Uncle : yes I understand but can you please stay this weekend then you will go back on Monday morning .

Thea : Alright sir I would but early on Monday I will be gone

Uncle : okay my daughter , goodnight dear .

Thea : good night sir ( leaving the living room)

Immediately I got back inside I started picking my stuffs one after the other I wanted to go back to school badly .

I was already imagining how much i am going to suffer without my father .

“God help me”

I couldn’t control my tears I felt so down and lonely and started questioning God

“God why so soon , why my father of all person , why me , why do you want me to suffer all to my self arghh , God please help me I can’t face this alone “