An Impossible Love~ The journey of Feelings

An Impossible Love Chapter # 1 Emi sat by the open window, gazing at the stars. The cool breeze brushed against her skin, layers visiting my whole body and making me shiver a little. I didn’t mind though. My mind was somewhere else—caught in a swirl of thoughts about the tragedy that had unfolded in my life. How did this happen? I asked myself, as if the question alone could untangle the mess. Everything was so unconscious. I didn’t even realize how or when it all began. Why didn’t I see it happening while it was in motion? Why does it only make sense now, when it’s already over and all I can see are the conclusions? Is this really love? The doubt lingered in my mind, nagging at me. I still couldn’t decide, unsure if what I was feeling was truly love or something else entirely. One Month Before: The air in the school courtyard was filled with gossip, the girls' voices rising and falling in excitement. As they gathered in a large group, I couldn’t help but overhear their conversations. Their words swirled around me like a buzz I couldn’t ignore. “Oh my God, he actually said that to me,” one girl giggled, her eyes sparkling. “I thought I was going to die from how cute he was.” “Did he really blush when you spoke to him?” another voice chimed in, full of envy. “Mine did the same thing. I was dying when he got all shy!” One by one, they exchanged their experiences with each other. “He’s so sweet,” another voice exclaimed. “He actually protected me during the disaster, like a real gentleman!” I felt suspense towards that boy, thinking that “are they that famous, are they big celebrities, why don’t i know them, then. As the girls continued to chatter, I plugged my earphones into my handphone, wanting to being in myself sometime. Music flooded my ears, and I retreated into my own world~ my idealistic world where things are for me, where nothing could reach me. My friends waved at me as they passed by. “Come on, Emi! Join us!” they called, their voices high with laughter. I shook my head, looked at them. “I just need some time to myself,” I muttered, trying to sound casual. “We’ll talk later.” I could feel their eyes on me, but I didn’t care. I just wanted to be alone. I turned myself into a quiet corner, far from the crowd, and let the music carry me away. The rhythm swayed in my mind, each note pulling me deeper into my thoughts. The world around me faded as I sat there, the cool breeze gently ruffling my hair. My body relaxed, and for a moment, I could forget everything. I closed my eyes, letting the music take over, feeling the beat in my chest as if it was alive. Hours passed~? I didn’t really know. When I finally opened my eyes, the sun had shifted in the sky. “Oh no!” I gasped, looking at the time. “I missed the entire lecture.” I sighed, the familiar weight of disappointment settling on me. Typical, I thought. It’s nothing new. Sighed. I got up slowly and began wandering around. There was nothing else to do until the next class, so I let my feet walk me here and there. As I passed by the other girls, I overheard a new group talking about the same five boys. “They’re so popular!” one of them gushed. “I heard they’re really good at piano. Have you seen them play? It’s like they’re invincible.” I became a little impressed as I love piano.... Another girl leaned in, lowering her voice. “Some of them are "they’re more than celebrities”. Like, they’re not just ordinary boys. They're... different.” My curiosity was piqued. Who are these guys? I thought. I’d never heard anything about them before but these days continuously, but now it seemed like everyone was obsessed with them. Why didn’t I know about them? I kept walking, trying to shake off the nagging feeling in my stomach. I passed by the girls and headed for the cafeteria, hoping the routine would ease my mind. I ordered a cup of coffee and a few cookies, sitting down at the bench by the window. The warmth of the coffee cup against my hands grounded me, and the scent of my favorite cookies made my mood. I took a bite, letting the sweetness melt in my mouth, but my thoughts kept drifting back to the boys. Are they famous? I wondered, staring at my half-empty cup. Why haven’t I heard of them? I reached for cookie, but it was the last one. I frowned, looking down at the empty wrapper. Why did they finish so quickly? I hadn’t even fully enjoyed them. With a pout, I threw the wrapper into the trash bin, then took a sip of my coffee. I done drinking the coffee and then got up for the class, watched the time, it’s still 13 minutes left, ... I again started to wander around and like before, everything is the same... Unable to hold my curiosity back, I went towards those girls “Who are they?” I asked, my voice sharper than I intended. “I want to know too.”