Chaotic Colors

A Morning With Him

Kale's P.O.V

I haven't slept the whole night thinking why I agreed to sleep in this house alone with this chaotic man but, thanks to him I was able to have shelter above me after what happened at the house last night.

After dreaming about my mother again I lost my senses and for some crap reasons even though I don't want to go out of my room, my feet drag me out of my room and bring me to my step-father who's drunk and still drinking in his room.

***

I feel like I'm being controlled and being dragged into danger that I don't want to encounter... I brought this to myself. My feet walk on their own and my feelings are eating up my brain, All the frustration and anger were eaten all by my brain and let it control my body.

I ran unto the kitchen with a dark path walking in the dim light cornered of the kitchen and grabbed the only shiny thing on my eyes and grabbed it without any hesitations, and then again Cut it through my flesh and feel my thick blood flow out my arms.

I can't stop thinking about Mom and Father... I want to be with them too, I want to stop feeling this darkness covering me, I want to be happy too, I want to be satisfied with life's pleasure and not by the cause of my parent's death.

" Bastard! *hic*" I heard an angry hoarse voice at my back and hit me a glass of Bordeaux glass and hit my arms to where I just cut, great...

I face him and glares at him...

OH, it's Daddy!

" You shameful monster! I told you not to bring your face in front of me again!" He roared and angrily stared at me like he wants me to disappear in an instant.

" It was you who came here! It's not my fault!" I answered him and remove the piece of glass from my hand.

" you psycho, there you go again do you want to kill yourself? YOU'RE CRAZY!!!" I shouted at me and was about to throw the glass of wine at me again yet he missed and I just laughed at him

" tell me who made me act like a psycho, Dad?!" I asked him emphasizing the word Dad onto his face insulting and provoking him.

" You brat!" He rages in anger and run towards me and punch me directly in the stomach and slapped myself

" How dare you talk to me like that?! We raised you yet this is what you've paid for? Do you even have a shame in you? You drove them all crazy and brought them their death, yet here you are living a life, are you a demon hiding in that body?" He insulted back and collared me to the extent I felt like I was choking

"y-you made me into who I am today, you made me feel the pain every day that I now was accustomed by the pain, you cut my flesh, you punch me, and you even hang me inside the sack at the backyard tree whenever you are pissed when you're drunk because your wife left you... You're the crazy one here!" I blurted and I find his surprise, his eyes widen and slowly he loosened his grip on my shirt and curled up in his nightmares...

My mind was blank, I was thinking none, other than letting him see the devil he created in me...

I walked closer to him stared at him in his eyes, letting him see how I hurt myself just like how he slowly cut myself back then as if I was a laboratory rat for him.

" This is how you cut my arm when you finished watching that video of a girl cutting meat when you were drunk... Is it satisfying?" I asked him with a crazy tone... Now I am convinced that I am crazy.

His eyes were full of fear and disgust seeing the blood flowing in me. He was trembling...

***

" Kale? what are you doing!!!"

***

Father?

seeing him trembling like this made me hear the voice of my real father and memory flashes like it was happening again...

I trembling distant myself to him as the face of my Father appeared that made me scared, and at that moment I was running, escaping from that nightmare again... I ran and ran until I find myself feeling no more.

I collapsed on a certain place and let the ground eat my body in soil...

I'm exhausted I'm needed to rest...

" *Laughs* Haaa, I really need to grow up!! * sobs *" My touches of laughter slowly faded into sobs as I try to forget that night, First I just dreamt about Mom and now I am hallucinating about father. Damn, I am tired of all this shit... Yet I know to myself I deserved all this suffering...

I cried and laugh at the same time... I feel numb And I feel nothing but my eyes can't stop crying... My heart was sadly okay but it was like being stabbed by a hundred times.

" Mom, Father. I'm sorry for being born this way, I wished you did not birth me so you both can live happily." The only words I say staring at the stars in the sky...

****

" Kale!!! open the freaking door or I'll break it!! Why aren't you answering??" I hear a loud banging and early chaos from outside with a non-stop banging on the door wake me.

Liham?

I sat on the bed and left staring at the door letting my ear absorb all the voice of Liham from shouting and screaming my name and cursing the life out of me.

* Slams*

*huff* * huff*

" Damn you! ~ Why aren't you answering when you're effin awake?!!" He roared, Gosh he's so noisy early in the morning.

" Shut up! You're so noisy!!" I said to him and rolled on the bed again.

" eh? Have shame! You are at my house, you bastard!" He said and jump on my bed grabbing me out of the bed. he's so full of energy, thinking it's early in the morning!! why bring this chaos into my room?

" what's there to be so worked up? It's still early..." I answered him... I don't know why but I find comfort in him, I find him warm but we're always fighting...

" Oh shut up!!! It's nearly 11 o'clock!! Why are you so worn out?" He asked and sat beside me while I'm still on the bed laying.

I was too lazy to answer him and just stare at his knee, looking at it he's wearing tank tops and shorts, he has a fine body, does he work out every day?

" hey answer me!" He said and cupped my cheeks from above and stared at my face...

w-wait... we're acting too close!!!

I abruptly sat on the bed and glares at him...

" What-what are you planning to d-do?!" I ask him covering my mouth that makes him burst into laughter.

" That was ridiculous," He said and kept on laughing. Damn this Guy tricked me!!

Or was I expecting it?

NO NO NO It won't happen!

I stood up and was about to go out when he stopped laughing and ran into me...

" hey.. did you not sleep?" He asked leaning so close to me, I shoved his face away from me and answered him

" Yeah, just didn't feel sleepy at all, Can't sleep," I said and walked past him, but when I nearly get my left foot on the floor he abruptly grabbed me back on the bed and snuggle my face in his chest laying there forcedly...

" W-what are you doing!!!" I shouted but he just tightened his embraces to me and quietly lay on the bed with me.

" Quiet, at least get some sleep even an hour, there's no class now, it's Saturday," He said with a serious tone.

" what the-- I told you I can't sleep at all" I stormed shoving him away from me, but he's so persistent and tightly embraces me. I can smell him so close, and I can feel him warmly, It was so comforting and calm and peaceful... It feels like the heavy feelings that stopped me from sleeping last night were now lightened and made me drowsy...

THUMP

What is this feeling, My heart s slowly beating fast, and... I can hear his heart beating so fast too, did he just go on a run?

*Growls*

" Man... I'm hungry" He whispers to himself, keeping his voice so quiet, Maybe he thinks I'm asleep... I chuckled and poked his tummy

" Why don't we eat first??" I asked him nicely, I don't know why but, I feel like I can trust him, and I can rely on him, It feels like I am in danger, he comforts me in some way... he makes me soft for him.

He even tightened his grip on me, this stubborn Jerk!!

" You p*****t!! Let go now!!!" I screamed yet he ignores me

" No! You should sleep!!!" He said as if he was pouting. He's so childish! For heaven's sake!

I pinched his side made him yelp but still did not let me go...

" I'm starving!!!" I roared...

" oh"

He loosened up and faced me with a confused look on his face

" Really? You're hungry?" He asks like a child.

Why is he suddenly cute??--- No! He's gross!!

"Yeah, so let's eat...I'm dying!" I acted weakly and glares at him... he immediately let go off of me and stood up leaving me laying on the bed.

" Good!!! Save your sleep later, I've made breakfast, Let's eat!!!" He shouted and run outside my room.

Is he always like this?? He's acting like a child now... This jerk! did he forget how he scolded me last night?

I just didn't mind him and I walk downstairs and sat at the dining table and---- wait...

We're so domestic!!! No No, it's just that he helped me, he's a good stranger who sheltered me last night... R-right!! He's a stranger...

Stranger...

I saw him happily preparing food on the table and sitting across from me.

" Let's eat, you don't have any allergy right?" he asked and put food on my plate...

"are you sick??" I asked him while glaring at him what if he was planning on poisoning me because of the fight yesterday? when we brought on the Mrs, Fermiza's office?

"Huh," He asked with his broken smile...

" Oh, I apologize, Well It's been a while since I have someone with me eating with me, I just felt... Happy" he answered shyly

He's alone?

" what about your parents?" I asked him... he smiled at me weakly and answered me.

" My mother is already dead while my father is working outside the country, so I'm left here all alone. " He said... Did I just see the pain in his eyes?

Why?... Why is he faking it? His smiles are so bitter...

oh, this is the real Liham in front of me... So that' the reason Why I feel warm to him somehow.. he knows what pain is too.

" so... Can you at least pretend not to hate me? " he asked with eyes full of pleases'

ACK!!

" who said I hate... you?" I asked him and stuff my mouth with food and hide my face.

I'm burning

That's embarrassing!!

He just gave me a sincere smile and ate with me...

" Oh... So you like me?" He asked out of nowhere smiling without looking at me... damn his bastard caught me

" Shut up you're disgusting!" I said and threw a fist at him h just laugh...

This kinda feels... Nice

" hey, scary kitten why did you run off to your home? It's not as if this is the first time you've done this..." he asked which gave me a pause. I lost my appetite.

I stare at the food remembering what happened last night.

" If you don't want to---"

" It's because I lost my control again, or It's because I hurt myself again? It's either both" I answered him and finally looked at him.

" May I know the reason?" He asked.

I think it's okay to tell him, it's not that I can become close to him after, he might feel regretful after letting me in his house hearing my pitiful story

" well, It's because I dreamt about my mother, And I recall my real father trembling with the face my step-father last night... every night I do not go downstairs to either eat or stay, I lock myself in my room because I don't want to see my step-father's face...and he doesn't want to see me too... He'll end up killing me if I force myself with him, and I end up torturing myself if I saw him... Uhm Well that's that" I ended the story in a more presentable way of telling the complicated story of my life in that house.

He did not utter a sound and when I raise my head I saw him just staring at me, and when our eyes met he abruptly avoided my gazes and stuffed his mouth with his food.

He's maybe regretting letting a weirdo in. It may sound very unbelievable but that's half a fact about what I've been through.

" well, I don't blame you if you really find it weird to hear something like that" I said and starting to finish my meal and was about to stand up

" Thank you for letting me---"

" how did you endure it all," He asked and again our eyes met like a stupid horizon, giving me peace that I didn't want to waste.

I jolted and made myself back into my senses and rest my chin in my hand as I sit back, looking directly into his eyes... I don't want to be intimidated by this guy and I don't want to confuse myself. He has a chaotic personality and presence that I think can't match up to mine.

" I may be lying or not... You should not believe so easily something you just heard to a stranger right?...so" I said and just stared at him ... I didn't know what's the right next word I should say, I just stopped in the middle of my sentence yet I just found myself intoxicated in his eyes.

He smirked at me and stood up, piling the finished plate we have

" Am I that handsome for you to be lost in your own words??" He said and gave me a mysterious look, a look just like when he stole my first kiss...

I slapped myself lightly and throw a napkin right through his face...

" Yeah, you're handsome your face looks like a butt, asshole!" I said that only left him laughing and started putting the dishes in the washing area, I insisted to help and bring the other plates that were left on the table

" Hey... are you feeling better now?" He asked all of a sudden and grabbed the plates I hold

" Yeah" I answered and the quietness resonates the place as we have no word to say anymore.

" oh, do any of your friends even visit here?... oh and I think I'll now get ready to leave then, I thank you for the hospitability," I said and waited for him to responses but he just look at me and appeared a weak broken smile to me

" none...I'm always alone Rites..." He said I was about to ask him why, but I felt like he doesn't want to talk about so I just nodded

"let me help you," I said and stand beside him and I'm the one doing the arrangements after him washing the dishes

" Hey" He called me out while I was busy putting the plates on the shelves after I wiped dry with a clean dishtowel that was folded neatly on the counter, and when I have put it up safely I faced him and raise my eyebrows as a response. He just stare at my eyes with a perfect grin on his mouth.

" What?!" I ask with an annoyed tone.

Now what's running through this bastard's mind

"Nothing much, just that... We look like a lovely couple now, it's ticklish" He said straightforwardly on my face.

W-what?!!!

" Fvck your fvckin' brain!" I shouted at him and dash back to the living room with a full burning face. what's with him?!!!

No, What's wrong with me also?! We're acting so close I even slept here, ate here, I am even using his clothes, I'm even spending my Saturday day here, seeing him first in the morning, having A morning with him ... and- and we even hugged earlier!

A brunch with my usual enemy...

An empty house with my usual enemy...

What the hell is just happening?

" If you're shy, just say it... I won't tease you!!" He shouted from the kitchen and heard him laugh.

" SHUT UP!!" I shouted back at him.

"..."

*step* *step*

I did not expect that the bad boy Liham is nice and I just knew that he has this soft and warm side of him...

However, why am I enjoying his company? I don't have the right to enjoy something I retracted to my parents?

" Hey! Are you Deaf?"

A gentle touch of my shoulders shook me... It's Liham standing in front of me... I look at him and saw his precious eyes it was full of questions yet it was relaxing seeing his eyes

" w-what's wrong? I just asked you to clean your wounds again why are looking at me like... that??" He asks me...

I withdraw my gazes and avoided him

" oh n-nothing, I-I think I'll be going home now. Thank you again for letting me crash here" I said and turned my back on him, giving him a sudden cold shoulder.

Taking my steps away from him was kinda sad... what's this?

why am I sad avoiding him? I am not like this to anyone... why do I feel this about him?

" why look at me as if you were regretting being close to me..."

"!!!"

His last words sliced me, I ignored it and just continued walking away from him...

I think you deserve better than being close to me Liham, You're not a bad guy, but I am! that's why I can't be close to you...