Chaotic Colors

Friend

KEISHA'S P.O.V

I was dumb founded realizing how things got worse because of me. Kale and Liham were fighting and was caught, they’re in council room now, and it might be a bad timing I go now. What will Kale think of me? I’m really such a burden. I just want to be friends with kale, I want to try being friends with him, because he was just quite, and somehow I felt like I want to protect him, I can see myself through him, He was like  a duplicate of my emotions. I want to treasure him and build a friendship, also Liham I know they are just hiding something inside them and was needing someone to lean and to trust to, I want to be with them and see them be happy, But instead of helping them I was being a burden and cause  this fight.

When he takes part of my feelings when I was being told ugly by Liham, he was like a knight to me, he was shining in my eyes and when he asks for my name with gentleness in the middle of the glares Liham gives to us His eyes were angry full of... jealousy? I felt like he was somehow soft and unlike what his personality looks like.

When Kale was about to say something after I told him my name Liham then attack him in surprise that made kale in furious but when Liham realizes what he have done, I saw a regretful pity look in his eyes, like they were saying sorry to kale.

Am I seeing this real?  In every fight that I saw Liham in, He shows no emotions but what is that look? Why is he like this to kale?  The moment I look at kale he shows anger and traumatic expressions that was full of despair and attack Liham. I was very surprise that time because it was the first time I saw Kale in fist fight, He really is interesting.                                                                                                                                           

When they were caught by Mrs. Fermiza and told to be in the guidance office, there kale realizes there position in fighting. Kale was on top of Liham and rushes to stand up but what surprises me is that Liham admitted in the eyes of everyone that he regrets what he did to kale.

I want to ask what is kale to him but he look so scary, I am shaking while watching them.

Kale told me not to escort him anymore and just stay in the group but I began feeling anxious thinking so deep of what is happening right now. Are they going to be expelled? 

The students were chattering and chattering about what happened today. I know, I am surprise too but also it is our fault we pushed button.

“What do I do now?!” I nervously  ask to myself and was grasping for breathe because of this suffocating feeling I have, I felt like the nervousness was taking my lungs out, crushing it, and as my heart beat so fast making me feel ill of my thoughts.

In the corner of the table to where crowded people are, I felt that I am stared at and was blamed for what happen between the two.  Even though Kale forbid me to go there, I’ll still go, Friends act this way, Friends lean on each other’s shoulder... I want to be a friend that Kale can count on. I stood up and ran to the guidance of fice. I don’t care if they won’t let me in. I’ll take the blame, it was partly my fault.

After I arrived at the Guidance office I saw Liham standing In front of the Door staring inside the room. I was caught up by the admiring look he gave to the person he was staring at. I saw him looking at the man inside the room bowing in front of the teacher.

Kale?

“ uhm... Liham?” I called out with a very obvious nervous tone I have. I saw him jumped a little, he might be surprise by my sudden appearance. He has his usual scary look on his face with his sharp eyes than can kill you in an instance. Dude he’s only soft when he look at someone particularly and that is not me.

“What?!” He angrily asked me with his frown eyebrows. I suddenly felt Goosebumps; I’m really scared of him. How ever his eyes were so gentle a while ago

" w-where you waiting for K-Kale?" I asked He avoided my gazes and saw him with a wide eyes and red face hiding away from me. Is he blushing? O.MY.GOSH!

 "W-why should I wait fo-for him? He's already grown up, and stop sticking your nose unto my business..." He said and walks out with his hand on his pocket while his right hands are scratching his nape . Is he shy? He seems Gloomy every time he's alone but how come today he isn't?

I was stuck thinking of how Liham have a sudden change nowadays, I always observe it whenever I am alone eating, listening in the classroom or even in breaks. I always saw them bickering...

"what are you doing here?" A voice behind me made me wake in my thoughts as I turned ahead and found out that it was Kale asking. 

"Oh Uhh I waited for you, but I just came I was worried if you'll get suspended" I said worriedly. He just nodded and walked pass through me

" there's no need for you to be worried, everything is fine" He said with a blank expression on his face that made me more worried. I rant him and stop him from walking and asks him

"are you sure kale? I can take the blame for you I'm used to be in a poor situation" I volunteered and will happily do it if he asks for. His blank and emotionless eyes changed after hearing what I said. Did I say something wrong? or Did I offended him somehow? I started to panic and was anxiously standing in front of him. 

" what?! don't take pity on me!" He said with a disbelief voice he sure is looking so unpleased to me. I shake my head and nod in dis agreement

"no, I didn't mean like that I was just worried for you, so if you want to--"

"Enough... I'm tired I need to go." He said coldly and again walks pass through me I tried to reach unto him again but there was this wall keeping me a distant to him.

"I just wanted be friends with you" I said talking to myself

"No one wants a weird suicidal friends like you" 

A voice from behind made me jump in surprise and nervously turned to face the guy who  meanly spout nonsense. 

"what- what are you saying? and who are you to decide either they wanted me to be their friend" I said with a cracking voice but I did not let him notice it. I was about to turn away not until he spoke again that made me stiff.

"well that lame gloomy guy and a suicidal weird girl might be suitable in an instance, or maybe you fancy him that much that you may also wanted his wrist being cut, crazy?" He said smirking at me merciless. My eyes widen in shock to what Jackson concluded. Yes It was Jackson Vuen who just insulted and steps on me lowly who was just being release in the other council room.

" I- I am not fancying him or what and I don't especially want him to be hurt. I am not the one who's crazy,  It's you!!" I said with a tone of defensiveness

he was nodding like he was mocking me and just sarcastically laugh at me. 

"well if you say so, I don't care anyways... see ya around" He said and slowly fading away in my sight. after he left I felt like I was isolated, it felt very familiar, the anxious throbbing of my bloody veins flowing like it was a ticking time bomb was all I feel. 

***

All went well for the rest of the afternoon class but kale was still ignoring me until it was very late when the professor let us go home, I face at the back seeing Liham staring at the door steps, while Kale leaving the room quietly. I hurriedly pack my things and follows kale I'm going to apologise to him and treat him. 

I tuned left in the cross road to here I saw Kale last through but this route was a scary route, It was dark and quite eerie to walk through. 

" kale?" I called out wishing Kale will popped out on my sight but there were no answer, instead there were two men appeared, a bearded drunkards  stinky men appeared while I was walking calling out to kale. 

"well what do we have here?" The 1st men said checking on me creepily while the other guy laugh in please 

" if you don't have company we will accompany you little girl" He said grinning like a p*****t/ I diverted my attention to the road along side and ignore them but they ere persistent

" no, don't go... your boyfriend left you? that's very ungentle men leaving a pretty girlfriend alone in a place like this." He said and attempts to hold a grip on me, but it was too late when someone grabbed his arms and shoved it strongly. 

" I'm with her, so don't mess with my girl" the boy said and now takes me, grabbing me close to him

what- what?!! his girl?

"oh, is that so.. " the 2nd Guy said and retract to where they came from. The dim lights didn't let me realise who the boy helps me But I somehow felt safe unto his arms. I can't control my self anymore and laugh while we're getting on a more clear route, remembering the scene earlier, I can handle myself if ever they're planning something bad to me, I once experience that one, the challenge on how to save your own self in harm, that once made me turn into a crazy mad women. 

" why are you laughing? and suddenly make a grieving expression? are you bipolar?" He ask that made me face him and saw a pair of blank expressionless eyes that made me burst to laughters again. 

" are you okay Keisha? have you gone mad?" He ask with a concern, surprisingly.

" yes, Thank you for not ignoring me." I aid sincerely and gave him with a sweet smile. 

"why did you follow me?" He diverted the  topic and now walking first ahead me. At first I was hesitant on to what I should answer yet, it made me come to conclusion, as for helping me... 

" I want to be your friend, if I am given a chance I want to be your friend" I said and bow my head pleading. I felt that he stopped walking and face unto my direction and saw me bowing so he gets closer and stopped me. 

" you don't need to bow for it, I am not worthy for your respect" He said with a cold tone. I raised my head and looks at him, same expression looking to me just like the first time I met him.

" yes you are... " I said. I saw him shrugged and avoided my gazes. 

" you know I don't want a friend... I am not friendly as you think so, if this is because of earlier, I was just covering for you for my own sake.  I wanted to avoid being on a group that is why I did fought with Liham, he was the scapegoat" He said but I somehow don't believe half of hat he is trying to say... 

"I know you don't need one, but you have to have one!" I said proudly to him yet to be honest I am so nervous and anxious if he'll shoo me away. 

"and why do I have to have one? From what I heard friends are not objects or food." he answered curiously. I just chuckle and watch him getting curios and confuse at the same time.

" yeah you are not an object because I want you to be my friend, and friends are family." I answer earnestly that made him stop thinking and put an odd expression which is hard for me to explain. His face sadden and gloom as he shook his head just like before, when I saw him. On the day he helped me to overcome my own monster I call myself. 

The first time I saw Kale was in the back of the school Campus and it was last year we were just 11th grader back then  and that was such a down fall year for me, it was even near to summer vacation. 

" you may not remember it, but I owe you my life Kale. You saved me. " I continued. 

It was the moment I ought to think to end my life, coming to school with bruises and blood on the wrist where I cut from the bathroom school drawn to the heavy emotion to divert the pain emotionally to a pain physically. 

" I did not save anybody, even you... how come you're telling me you owe your life to a miserable person like I am who don't deserve all this treatment." he said was about to run and leave me but I stopped him and gave him a pat on his head. 

" I know you would think like that, but to be honest kale saved me when everything seems to so  out of control in my life." I said He awkwardly keep a distant to me and trying to process the logic I am stating to him.  

" If you want friends, find somebody, I don't fit being your friend, I am a  disaster disguised as human." He said and was about to leave me there smiling and nodding in disbelief.

 This boy really is hard to please.