1. As Always, I Lost.
Serena's Point of View
I sat outside the gynecologist’s office, staring at the clock nervously. It was almost 11:30, but Rowen was still not here.
I checked our chat for the hundredth time, but there was no reply to the texts I had sent him. He hadn’t even seen them.
I dialed his number again. It was time for us to go in.
The phone rang for quite some time before he answered.
“Serena?” His voice sounded distracted. I could hear faint traffic in the background.
“Rowen… are you nearby? It’s almost our time,” I asked softly.
There was a pause.
“Oh! The appointment,” I heard him say.
For a second, my heart stopped.
Had he forgotten about it until I called?
“Listen, baby… I won’t be able to make it today. I’m on the way with Michela for a very important client meeting.”
My fingers tightened around the phone. I suddenly found it difficult to breathe.
“But… baby… You agreed to come even this morning.” I said, my voice almost breaking.
We wanted a baby, but we couldn’t conceive.
Rowen didn’t worry about it that much. He was too busy with work to worry about anything else.
But for me, it wasn’t like that.
I desperately needed a baby. I needed to build a little family with my Rowen, one that I had never had in my life.
And Rowen’s parents wanted a grandchild even more than we did.
They never said anything to him.
But his mother called me once a week just to remind me that I had failed in my duty to give her a grandchild.
Maybe she didn’t understand simple biology. Or maybe she intentionally wanted to hurt me.
Either way, she somehow made me feel that we didn’t have a baby because something was wrong with me, and that there was absolutely nothing wrong with her son.
That was why I arranged this appointment with a very famous gynecologist.
I had made the appointment two months ago because there was a huge waiting list. I scheduled it only after making sure Rowen was free that day.
Even after that, I kept reminding him.
Last night.
This morning.
Still…
“Look, baby… I’m really sorry. This meeting is very important. I couldn’t say no,” he said.
But I couldn’t sense even a hint of regret in his voice.
“But our appointment is important too… You know how long we’ve waited for this,” I said quietly.
I rarely complained about anything. I always let him have his way.
But right now, I desperately wanted him to come.
“Let’s do this. You go alone just for today and see what the doctor says. Next time we’ll go together. I promise.”
Promise.
What a beautiful word.
But when was the last time you kept your promises, Rowen?
“Rowen…” I spoke again, tears filling my eyes.
“Please… I’m begging you. Just this once. It won’t take more than half an hour. I can talk to the nurse and ask them to delay our appointment a little.”
“Serena, why don’t you understand? I’m working. This is a very important client. Michela really needs me here. I can’t say no to her just because my wife wants to see a doctor.”
Michela.
The woman who acted like she knew my husband better than I did the last time I met her.
Why is it always her, Rowen?
Why do all our important plans get canceled because you suddenly have something to do with her?
“Rowen… please… Isn’t Michela the Marketing Director? She has many managers like you to support her. But here… do I have a husband other than you? The appointment clearly said both husband and wife should be present.”
“Serena! Don’t talk like a child. I owe Michela a lot. Not just me, both of us do. After enjoying all her support, you want me to say no to her when she needs me?”
Then what about me, Rowen?
Don’t I desperately need you here, too?
Can you please, just once, choose me over your work?
Choose me over Michela?
“Rowen… I’m begging you, please. I have never troubled you by asking for anything. Please tell me you’re coming. I will...”
“Serena! I’m already late. Let’s talk about this later.”
He interrupted me before I could finish.
The next second, the call ended.
I slowly lowered the phone.
My heart felt like it had been squeezed mercilessly until all the warmth drained out of it.
As always, I lost.
To his work.
To Michela.
“Mrs. Gilbert?”
A nurse stood at the doorway, looking at me expectantly.
“The doctor will see you now.”
I forced a small smile and stood up.
“Coming.”
The consultation lasted less than ten minutes.
But they were probably the most humiliating minutes of my life.
The moment the doctor saw me, his first question was,
“Where is your partner?”
“He… has an urgent meeting,” I replied quietly, lowering my tear-filled eyes.
“If you have something more important than meeting me, then why did you make this appointment?” he snapped.
I had heard that the doctor was an expert in his field, but also a ruthless man.
Now I was experiencing it firsthand.
“Do you expect to have a baby alone, without a partner?” he continued coldly.
Heat rushed to my face.
The tears I had tried so hard to hold back began to fall.
I felt so lonely.
So wronged.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered.
“Do you know how many couples are waiting months to see me?” he continued. “You just wasted the precious time someone else could have used.”
Each word felt like a slap for a mistake I hadn’t even made.
“I’m sorry,” I repeated.
When I finally walked out of the room, my legs felt weak.
I don’t know how I managed to leave the hospital building and end up sitting on a stone bench in the hospital garden.
It was the middle of winter.
The cold stone felt like sitting on ice.
But I didn’t care.
When my life had lost all its warmth, what did a little cold matter?
I should have been used to this loneliness.
This humiliation.
After all…
I was an orphan.
I had always been alone. Always struggling.
But everything changed when Rowen came into my life.
This man, warm and certain in a way I had never experienced, filled the vacuum I had carried my whole life.
For the first time, I felt like I mattered.
Slowly… deeply… I fell in love with him.
And since then, I had forgotten how to exist without him.
After we got married, we started building our lives step by step. Everything was going very well. Until Rowen joined Henrix Properties.
One of the country's largest companies.
His talent received due recognition, frequent promotions, and higher salaries…
But he got much busier.
He had to work late nights and weekends. Some nights, some weekends, he didn’t come home at all.
Last year, he even convinced me to quit my job and take care of our home instead.
I agreed without any objections, because I trusted him.
I wanted him to come home after a long day to a clean house and warm meals waiting.
However, I wasn’t a fool.
I knew Rowen too well.
So it wasn’t hard to notice that something had been wrong for the past few months.
My phone suddenly vibrated, breaking my thoughts.
A message.
My heart skipped.
This wasn’t the first time I had received messages from this number.
I didn’t know who was sending them. But they were always warning me about the same thing.
Total of five messages in two months.
Until now, I had ignored them.
But today…
Today I was too hurt to ignore it anymore.
Twenty minutes later, I was standing at the reception desk of the luxurious Grand Hotel.
Maybe this was all just a prank.
Maybe I was overthinking everything.
From the bottom of my heart, I prayed.
“Good afternoon,” the receptionist said politely.
I swallowed.
“I’m Serena Gilbert,” I said, just as the message instructed.
The woman handed me a key card without asking anything.
“Room 1243, ma’am. Twelfth floor.”
My heart began beating faster.
Holding the card tightly, I walked toward the elevator.
The ride to the twelfth floor felt endless.
Room 1243 was at the far end of the 12th floor.
Each step felt heavier than the last.
I stopped in front of the door.
My hands were trembling so badly that I almost dropped the key card.
I scanned the card and took a deep breath.
The lock clicked.
The door slowly opened.
And then I heard a woman’s low moan from inside the room.
“Rowen… so… good…!!!”
“Deeper!!!!”
“Fu**!”
Then I heard a curse from a voice that I knew better than my own heartbeat.
It was my husband, Rowen.