The Beta's Second Chance

Deserved

Khason

I was up well before the sun. As usual, these days. My dreams tormented me; I either woke up in a panic, heart pounding, the sweat on my skin feeling far too much like blood, or I woke up rock hard, sheets damp like a teenaged boy, the scent of Ivy’s skin filling my senses. That or I had odd dreams…dreams like memories, but of things I’d never experienced before. Or dreams where I walked in bodies that were not mine, in places I’d never been, with people I didn't know. In any case, I woke up with my stomach turning and had to bolt to the bathroom.

I threw on sweatpants and sneakers, made my way through the quiet pack house and down through the gardens. I jogged the three miles down to the beach, my favourite thing about this place.

In the morning, the rising sun cast little sparks of gold, red and orange over the waves. The cool breeze refreshed me, chased away the last remnants of my dreams. The sand was soft and yielding, working my muscles, and soothing my anxiety. The rushing, rolling water reminded me of the river in Blood Moon…reminded me of home and peace and family.

I shifted into fur, and the sand slipped between my claws, lodging between the hairs of my shaggy ginger paws. I flared my toes out to cover more surface area and stretched in the cool morning air. As I started to trot, the sand gave under my paws, forcing me to feel every movement of my muscles as they pushed off the shifting ground, burning faster than normal with the added effort. But the feeling was more than welcome. It was better than the other burning I normally felt.

Ivy. No amount of running ever truly eradicated her from my brain. Had it been like this with Nomi? We had fallen so hard so fast…it was easy. Effortless. Not like this.

I pushed myself faster, my breath making puffs of white around my snout. I couldn’t go on like this. Every day was harder than the one before. I needed her…or I might explode.

Just reject her…I told myself. The same thing I told myself every single morning. And by the time I got back to the pack house, caught her scent again, I had completely forgotten my resolve. I didn’t want to reject her. I wanted to claim her.

I was coated in sweat from head to toe by the time I finished with my morning run and trotted through the modern town towards the training house. I stayed in damp fur until I made it to the steam room door, then shifted back to step into the hot, eucalyptus scented room. It was empty, this early in the morning, just as I liked it.

I sank onto the hot seat, letting the steam ease my muscles. I leaned my head back and breathed slowly, trying to focus my mind on my plans for the day. I was supposed to run patrol today. But I was exhausted. Too many days with not enough sleep. I knew Gage would take the shift for me the second I asked. But I didn't want to ask. I didn’t come down here to slack off.

Despite my certainty, I felt my consciousness fading as I sat in the steamy room, sweat rolling down my face, my torso. I was so out of it that I didn’t even hear the door open. Didn’t notice anything until her scent mingled with the steam. I groaned involuntary. So many of my dreams started the same way. The sweet torture that was her scent.

“I can see why the newbies aren’t making much progress. Their trainer is napping in the steam room.”

I opened my eyes slowly to find Ivy standing across the room. Half clouded by steam, I could still make out the damp towel around her otherwise bare body. I didn’t bother disguising it, as I let my eyes roam her form. It was only a dream, right?

“If you’d let me sleep, I wouldn’t be passing out in steam rooms.” I murmured back. My c**k ached, pressing against the rough fabric of the towel. I wondered if she’d come over here, straddle me, ride me like she had in so many other dreams. I hoped so. I bit down on my bottom lip.

Her eyes dropped to my crotch, and she swallowed hard. Already the steam of the room was causing water to bead on her bare skin. I wanted to lick it all off. The scent of her arousal mingled with her Chai scent and my breath hitched. It was so real…so heady. My d**k throbbed.

“I…have no idea what you’re talking about…” She whispered, staggering back a step. I blinked. That was unusual. Typically, by now she would be dropping her towel, sliding between my legs. I sat up and she backed another step. I blinked again. This…was a very realistic dream. “We…need to talk about what you want me to be doing during training. The first group will be here in thirty minutes. I…suggest you pull yourself together and stop looking at me like I’m a f*****g steak.”

With that, she turned on her heel and left the room. When her hair was wet, it created thick, long ringlets down her back.

I jumped to my feet. That was no dream. I was definitely awake. And more than a bit embarrassed. Thank the Mother I hadn’t decided to take things into my own hands.

I showered and dressed rapidly before making my way outside. I found her, fully dressed, hair pulled up high in a ponytail on top of her head, stretching near the wall. I could have simply stood and watched her stretch all day, but I had a feeling it would do little to warm her up to me.

I walked over, doing my best to keep my eyes on anything but her, and sat on the edge of the wall, pulling out my portfolio of training reports. I placed them on the wall beside me, still not meeting her eyes as she slowly stood.

I cleared my throat. This was the closest we'd been, the most we’d spoken in weeks. “Progress reports. I started them all on the same assessments two months ago. Speed, strength, agility, balance, hand to hand combat in fur and skin, tactical strategy. The results were…well, shitty. I created groups based on skill level and I’ve been taking them through circuits on a daily basis. Most recent reports are on top.”

She stared at me for so long that I exhaled sharply, dragging my eyes up to hers. Big mistake. Had I ever seen a female so gorgeous? Those deep, dark eyes stared into my very soul as she blinked her thick lashes. I swallowed hard. “What?”

It took her a few moments, but she finally dropped her eyes and picked up the stack. “I…didn’t expect…never mind…”

I huffed a laugh, trying to regain my composure. “Didn’t expect the boneheaded Beta to be so organized? I do take my role seriously, you know.”

“I never said you didn’t.”

“No, you just thought it.”

Irritation flashed in her eyes now as they flicked back up to mine. “Don’t pretend you know my thoughts. You don’t know the first thing about me.”

“And who’s fault is that?” I snapped back in frustration. Emotions warred in her eyes and they flicked down to my lips and back up. Just like that, my anger evaporated. “Ivy, if you’d just-”

“Focus, Beta.” She snatched up the stack of papers and stalked across the training area. “We have a job to do, here. The future of my pack depends on it.”

“Ivy, come on!” I groaned, but she didn’t even glance back at me. I wished I had something to hit.

The training sessions went about as well as could be expected. Ivy would only acknowledge my existence when I asked her to do something in terms of the trainees. Then, she would glare at me, and flip her ponytail, but do as I asked.

She was a fantastic fighter, and trainer. As she moved, her eyes focused like a hawk’s on the trainees, making adjustments, calling out corrections. If they scoffed or seemed doubtful of her skills, she showed them, effortlessly putting them on their asses, time and time again. Her body was pure muscle, she was made to fight. And knew how. I itched to touch that body.

When the second training session was over, the sky was already turning pink with the sunset. My stomach growled violently, and my eyes burned with exhaustion, as I cleared the training grounds and picked up my stuff. I could feel her eyes on my back but I resisted the urge to turn to her. I’d been rejected enough for one day. Without another look, I headed back to the pack house.

A debate between food and sleep raged in my head. I had yet to eat all day. But I was practically stumbling as I made my way up the stairs to my room. Perhaps I could grab something and bring it up here?

My phone buzzed in my pocket and I paused on the second floor landing.

I stepped out onto the balcony and pressed my phone to my ear. “Hey, Daws.”

“Bro. How are things going?” He sounded tense.

“Since we last spoke? Oh, you know. Just as catastrophic as always.” I gave him a run down of the past weeks' events, the skirmishes and losses, progress with training (or lack thereof) and Stohn’s plans.

Dawson growled quietly and I could practically see him pinching the bridge of his nose. “What is Stohn thinking? At this rate, his pack will be wiped out by the end of the summer. He needs to let the females train. There’s no other choice.”

“Hey, if you know some new way of saying that he needs to let the females train that I haven’t tried, fan-f*****g-tastic. Because talking to him really is like talking to a stone. The females are young, strong, capable. Some of them are skilled fighters already, he just won’t let them fight! It’s like he’s stuck in another lifetime. But it’s going to get us all killed.” I sighed, resting my chin on my fist. “Are you on your way?” Since the southern boarder was so close to Summer Hunt anyway, Dawson had planned to spend a few days down here as well as he was currently traveling the Blood Moon lands, checking up on the more remote offshoots of the pack.

I could hear the sheepishness in his tone. “Actually…I…”

I rolled my eyes, leaning on the glass railing of the balcony and looking down over the gardens. It really was a lovely view, as the sun was setting. “You’re going home.”

“I’m sorry, Khase. I just…”

“I get it, bro. You miss your mate. Besides, Gaia’s pregnant, she needs you more than your whiny b***h of a cousin.”

“This is important, Khason. I am coming, just…next week. I swear, I’ll be there soon. I miss you, dude.”

Despite myself, a slow smile spread across my face. I know this had been my idea. But there wasn’t a day when I didn’t miss my home, my friends, my pack. I missed the place where everyone smiled when they saw me. Where everyone knew me. I missed my best friend.

“Don’t get all soft and floppy on me, Alpha.” I murmured. “I need your best hissy fit when you come down here. Maybe it will scare them straight.”

“Something tells me a hissy fit is not the correct course of action.” Dawson chuckled. “And what about…Ivy?”

My smile dropped like a stone, even as my stomach flipped at just the sound of her name. “Oh, Ivy? You mean my mate who despises the very air that keeps me alive? Wedding’s tomorrow, didn’t you get your invite? Damn snail mail…”

“Khase…please know I don’t mean to sound insensitive but…why not just reject her? I know it would suck but…wouldn’t it be better than just letting her torture you?”

I shrugged. Maybe I deserved the torture. Maybe this was my penance for all the s**t I’d done in my life.

Like he could hear my thoughts, Dawson snarled. “Stop that. You deserve better than this, Khason.”

“Deseve? Let’s not go there. I don’t know what to do, man. I don’t want to reject her. If she rejects me, fine, I’ll deal with that, but…I want her. I want her to want me, too.”

I guess it was better to have her in my life, hating my ass, than not have her at all.

“Alright man. It’s up to you, I guess just…try to think with your big head, okay?”

“Instructions unclear, both of my heads are big.”

“Get some sleep, you sound like a f*****g zombie. I’ll touch base tomorrow.”

I nodded slowly. I wished he could stay on longer, but I knew he was busy. In all honesty, it’s not like I didn’t have other things to do besides gossip with my bestie on the phone all night.

“Night, kid.” I hung up but lingered outside for a while longer. As exhausted as I was, I didn’t want to go to bed. Another night alone. Another night, plagued by dreams. It was a toss up which kind I dreaded more. As the sun slipped below the horizon, I finally pushed off of the railing.

“Don’t be a puss, Khason.” I told myself, turning and heading back into the house.

I could smell her immediately. She must have recently passed on her way upstairs. My footsteps faltered, and I lingered for a moment, just breathing it in. It was torture, yes. But the sweetest torture I could imagine.

It took far too long for me to convince my feet to move towards my room. I would call down to the kitchens and ask for some food. Maybe play some video games for a while until I could barely remain conscious. Then, hope I’d get at least a few hours of sleep before my dreams forced me awake again.

I was so distracted, I didn’t notice the strong scent of pineapple and coconut, the strong scent of arousal in my room. Not until I walked in, closed the door, yanked my shirt over my head, and headed for my bathroom. I had already pulled the strings loose on my sweatpants when the hairs on the back of my neck stood up and I whirled towards my bed as the bedside light flipped on.

A gorgeous, blonde, naked she-wolf knelt in the middle of my bed, knees parted, pink n*****s pointing up from her massive t**s. She licked her lips as she fixed her blue eyes on mine and her hand travelled between her legs, rubbing herself slowly.

“Why, hello, Beta.” She crooned. “I’ve been waiting for you…preparing myself…I’m yours. Any way you want me.”