The Beta's Second Chance

Mistakes

Ivy

I paced back and forth across my room, unable to settle. I’d ensured that Halloway went into the right room, dressed in so little clothing that it had been an effort not to rip her face off. Then I’d forced myself to come up here. I’d tried to distract myself from him, from the thought of him sleeping with someone else. I wasn’t sure how I’d feel once Hal confirmed it. I might kill her.

Maybe I’d feel better. Like I could breathe for the first time in months. Like this constant longing pull towards him would finally ease off.

Then I’d stepped out onto my balcony and I’d heard his voice. I’d peaked over my railing to see him standing on the balcony below, talking on the phone. I'd tried to convince myself to walk away, but instead I'd sunk to the floor and listened, the sweet, deep, husky sound of his voice hypnotizing me.

“Hey Daws.” Daws…that must be Dawson Vargas, the Blood Moon Alpha. It was odd that he addressed his Alpha so informally. But it made sense, he’d need to provide updates. He knew his duty. Why did that make my heart flutter?

I listened as he gave a synopsis of the week. I frowned as I heard it all put matter-of-factly. The fights, the losses…we were struggling. Hard.

“The females are young, strong, capable. Some of them are skilled fighters already, he just won’t let them fight!” That brought my smile back. He was so unlike my father, and the other misogynistic males of Summer Hunt. I suddenly imagined what things would be like if he were in charge. Females training and fighting alongside the males instead of just cooking and cleaning and bearing pups. Me, fighting by his side…as his Luna.

I shook my head, snapping myself out of my reverie. I did not want to be his Luna. I wanted to be Alpha. That was the point of all of this, wasn’t it? It was why I couldn’t give in to the tug below my navel that urged me to find him and mark him as mine for all eternity.

Then I stood, determined to walk away and put him out of my mind. I needed to stop being a wimp and just reject him already. Just look into those gorgeous, silver eyes, filled with desire for me…and tell him…I didn’t want him so badly it hurt…

“Ivy?” I'd frozen at the sound of my name. s**t. He had heard me. Knew I was eavesdropping. I'd turned slowly, but he continued talking. “You mean my mate who despises the very air that keeps me alive? Wedding’s tomorrow, didn’t you get your invite?”

My heart thudded and I'd moved as silently as possible, returning to the railing to look down at him. The sunset burnished his rust-colored hair gold and burgundy, and even purple in places. I couldn’t see his eyes as he leaned on his fist, gazing out at the gardens, but he looked dejected. I wanted to throw my arms around him, comfort him, distract him…

He thought I hated him. I supposed that was what I wanted, wasn’t it? I was hoping he’d hate me so it would be easier to reject him.

“I don’t know what to do, man. I don’t want to reject her. If she rejects me, fine, I’ll deal with that, but…I want her. I want her to want me, too.”

My eyes had filled with tears as my heart swelled. Damn it. Damn him. I'd gripped the railing, my hands shaking. I do want you…I just can’t…

I could hear the pain in his voice. Sh*t, sh*t, sh*t. He wasn’t going to reject me. Not unless I pushed things further.

I'd shoved away from the railing and paced back into my loft.

Halloway? I'd reached out with my mind.

She took a second to respond. He’s not here yet, I’m still waiting. Mother Above, his room smells incredible.

The blatant desire in her voice had me clenching my fists. It took me a few moments to build up the strength to say what I wanted. Don’t hold back, Hal. Give it everything you’ve got. Make yourself impossible to resist.

Had anyone ever tried so hard to get the person they loved laid by someone else?

Why? Why does this matter so much to you, Ivy? Not that I’m complaining but…it is more than a little weird.

I told you. I need him…distracted. If you succeed, I’ll make sure you are rewarded.

So, I get to sleep with the Beta, and get rewarded for it? Say no more!

I'd gritted my teeth. Tell me when it’s done.

I severed the connection and my pacing had commenced.

I knew I should find something to do. Take my mind off of this until Hal told me it was done. I sank slowly onto my couch and picked up the TV remote. But I turned it off again as quickly as I’d turned it on. I went over to my closet and changed into pajamas, a black silk camisole and matching shorts. It was one of my favorite sets, with lace trim that plunged in a V between my breasts. I washed my face and brushed my hair, so it fell in shiny, loose waves around my shoulders. And then, without giving myself permission at all, I was walking out my bedroom door.

I made myself stop on the landing. From here I could look down to the second-floor landing. If I crouched and looked through the glass railing, I could see his bedroom door down the hall below. I bounced, chewing on my bottom lip. I resisted the urge to mind link Halloway again. Whatever they were doing, I really didn’t want a front row seat. I’m pretty sure that would make me lose all control, shift and tear her throat out.

Throat…I thought of his shimmering silver scar, winding across his neck like a thick vine. I was so curious as to what had happened to him. It took a rather devastating injury to scar a Lycan, and that scar was large. He had clearly been through something traumatic. Maybe it was why he always looked so tense, so tired.

The sound of a raised voice met my ears, and I tilted my head, trying to hear better. I wished my heart would stop pounding so loudly, it drowned out all other sound.

Something thudded. A small yelp. Was that a gasp? I fought a snarl. Did they have to be so…energetic?

You don’t have to stand here and listen, Ivy. I told myself. You could stop being pathetic and go back to your room.

The scrabbling sounds got louder. I tensed, practically pressing my face against the glass as if it would grant me the power to see through the walls. What the hell was going on in there?

Suddenly, the door swung open, making me jump. Halloway stumbled wildly into the hall, a bedsheet wrapped haphazardly around her naked body. I sprang to my feet as she sprinted out to the landing, looking distraught.

“Hey!” I hissed. Hal jumped with a little shriek and looked up at me, her watery eyes meeting mine. “What the hell happened, Halloway?”

“He threw me out!” She sobbed, wiping thick streaks of mascara from her reddened cheeks. “Jeez, he’s hot but he’s a d*ck!”

I frowned. He threw her out? Why? “What do you mean, what happened?”

“He said he didn’t f*ck desperate wh*res and told me to get the f*ck out!”

I blinked, taken aback. It didn’t seem like him to be so cruel. Nothing I’d learned about him said that he was the type of male to be either verbally or physically volatile. Had I misjudged him so much?

“Keep your reward, Ivy. It’s not worth going near that *sshole again!”

The door swung open again and Halloway scampered off down the stairs. I backed up, but not fast enough as Khason moved out onto the landing. His eyes darted up and locked on mine. He was shirtless, hair dishevelled, and pants undone. Clearly more had occurred than Halloway had let on.

He looked confused for a second, and then furious. He opened his mouth, but I suddenly regained the ability to move and turned on my heel, bolting back down the hall to my room.

“Ivy!” His voice called after me. He’d never addressed me so directly before. With such familiarity. It sent a thrill through me even as I shoved through my bedroom door and slammed it closed.

I backed away from it, clutching at my thundering heart. He wouldn’t follow me…would he?

Seconds later, I heard his footfalls in the hall. And then he was pounding on the door. “Ivy, what the hell was all that?”

My mouth went dry. For once in my life, I had absolutely no idea what to do. How did I explain this?

He knocked again, insistently. “Ivy! Come on, open the damn door. I think I deserve an explanation.”

“Deserve?” I called back, finally finding my voice again as my temper sparked. “What makes you think you deserve anything from me?!”

“Did you send a wh*re to my room?” His voice was dark with anger, thunderous. It reminded me of an Alpha’s tone. “Why? You really don’t think you should explain that?”

“Don’t call her that!” I snapped, my anger flaring up and I crossed back to the door, flinging it open.

Bad idea. He filled my doorway, shirtless, and so close I could feel the heat of his body. I didn’t want to step back. It would make me look intimidated. But he was so…so close…his scent, so sweet and dark and intoxicating. I lost my train of thought.

He tucked in his chin so he could look down at me. His silver eyes darkened as he took in my outfit. I cursed myself for not putting on something less stupid before venturing out of my room. Just his proximity caused my n*****s to harden, no doubt standing out through the thin, silky fabric. My crotch was dampening too, and it infuriated me to know he could smell it. I could smell arousal on him too. I always could, when he looked at me. But I did note that I didn’t smell Halloway on him. Not even a trace. He really hadn’t touched her.

“Why?” He murmured, barely louder than a whisper, his voice low and thick with lust. “Why did you send her?”

“Why didn’t you sleep with her?” I shot back, breathlessly. I hadn’t meant to. But I wanted to know. Needed to know.

Khason blinked at me like I was slow. “Isn’t it obvious?” His eyes flicked from mine, down to my lips and back up. I couldn’t help myself now. I did retreat a step. Unfortunately…or fortunately, he followed, maintaining the closeness between us. “I don’t want her. I don’t want anyone else.”

Focus, Ivy, focus… “You…you haven’t had s*x since you arrived here. I know what males are like. I know what you want, I can smell it on you every time you look at me-”

“Yes, every time I look at you, Ivy!” His voice turned urgent, eyes desperate. “You. Only you.”

“S-stop. Don’t…” I protested weakly, backing another step, but he stayed with me, fully in my room now. “You don’t mean that. It’s just the…”

“The bond. The bond that I feel as much as you do, I know it. We are made for each other Ivy, why the hell are you fighting it so hard?”

“You…you need to go…” I lifted my hand to push him back, but hesitated, inches away from his hot skin. I’d never touched him before. It seemed like a bad idea to start now. But as I went to drop my hand he moved, quick as lightning, his big hand catching mine. My breath hitched as electric sparks shot up my arm. His eyes burned into mine and he took yet another step closer to me, holding my hand in his and keeping it in place so that as he came closer, my palm flattened against his chest, right over his heart.

I might have forgotten how to breathe entirely. His skin was so soft, despite the dusting of light hair over his chest. Underneath was muscle that jumped, hard as stone under my fingers. And under that, his heart pounded so strongly that I swore my pulse adjusted to match his. My fingers tightened, pressing closer against my will.

“You want me to go?” He breathed. His other hand touched my hip, so gently it was like a warm breeze. I bit down on my bottom lip.

Yes. Yes I do. Go. I tried to make myself say the lies. I even opened my mouth. And then closed it again. His hand tightened on my hip and his eyes dropped to my lips again. F*ck…

He was going to kiss me. I knew it. I felt it. I had to stop it now, or it would be too late.

He bent forward, eyes on my mouth, and damnit, my chin tilted up automatically. Inches away from me, he paused. Stopped moving, his eyes returning to mine.

Without hesitation, I raised up on my toes, closing the distance and pressing my lips to his.

Instantly, it was like we caught fire. I gave a little groan and the hand that had held mine slid into my hair as the hand on my hip dragged me closer, locking our bodies together. I slid my hands around his smooth back, clutching him tight to me as his tongue slipped into my mouth.

He tasted like…fire and honey and…perfection. I was addicted in an instant, and I craved him like a drowning man craves oxygen. My hands slid up his chest as his arm tightened around my waist, crushing our bodies together.

His hardness ground into my lower stomach, making me release an unbidden moan. He was so hard…so big…I could not control my hand as it slipped down, sliding over his length through his pants. Wow...

He snarled into my mouth. So smoothly, I barely noticed, he turned us, kicking my bedroom door closed and his hands moved down to grip my ass, pulling me effortlessly into the air. I wrapped my legs around his waist as he pressed me against the door, his bulge grinding hard against my crotch.

I threw back my head against the door and moaned, one arm around his shoulders. He used his hips to lock me against the wall, one hand tucking up under my shorts to knead my ass. His other hand slid up my ribs and he palmed my breast through my shirt, his thumb flicking across my achingly hard n*pple. His lips pressed to my throat, kissing, sucking gently as he continued to thrust his erection against my drenched p*ssy.

“Khason!” I gasped, tangling my fingers in his impossibly soft, constantly tousled hair. He wore it loose tonight, the longer locks along the top of his head curling down to brush his cheekbones.

“Mmm, f*ck yes,” he groaned with a desperation that told me he’d been longing for this for the entire two months that I’d known him.

I gyrated my hips against him, his c*ck head grinding back and forth across my c**t. My wetness melded the silk of my shorts to my body, as if it weren’t even there. In fact, as he moved harder against me, I felt the fabric shifting to the side, and he ground his crotch against my bare p*ssy.

I shuddered. My climax was building fast, burning deep and intense in my core. He clutched me so tight, kissed me, moaned in my ear. I felt how badly he wanted me, needed me, and the feeling was beyond comparison. I’d been with males before, had them inside me, lost myself in them. But even this was so much better than any of those experiences had ever been.

He touched me perfectly, somehow knowing exactly how to move against me, what to whisper in my ear, to make my blood ignite.

My fingers dug into his shoulders as I humped harder against him. He pressed his forehead to mine, eyes molten and heavy lidded, and his bit down on his lip. His arms tightened even harder around me, and his movements became jerkier, his breath coming in short gasps.

“Ivy…” He groaned.

Fingers buried in his hair, I captured his lips one more time as I went over the edge and exploded against him. I whimpered into his mouth, shuddering as I ground wantonly against him. It felt like fire was in my veins. I didn’t think an orgasm had ever felt like this.

Khason grunted loudly and his hips spasmed. Suddenly, the wetness between our crotches became much wetter as he lost himself, grinding himself so hard against me I thought he might manage to penetrate me without even taking his pants off. I stroked my hands down his back as I started to come down.

Mother above…that was amazing...

I leaned my head against the door again and his eyes opened, a kind of peace in them that I'd never seen. A slow smile spread across his face, so different from the cocky grin I was used to seeing from him. He looked happy. No…joyous.

Shiiiiittttt…what have I done? “Oh…f*ck…” I unwrapped my legs and he let me down instantly. My cheeks burned at the dark patch of wetness that was spread across the crotch of his light gray sweatpants, painting him with my scent so intensely it was like we were one person. F*CK!

“Ivy-” He started, his voice lazy with satiation.

“No.” I slipped out from between him and the door, putting as much distance between us as possible. “No, we…shouldn’t have done that…sh*t.”

My p*ssy throbbed, my juices rolling down my thighs with every step, betraying the conviction I did not feel. Panic gripped my chest as I fully comprehended what had just happened. Even now, the insistent longing pull to him had doubled, tripled. The bond was strengthened by us connecting. That was why I’d worked so hard to distance myself from him. I pressed my hands to my face, finding them smelling like his skin.

No…I could not fall in love with him. If I gave in, he would have my title, my pack…everything that had ever been important to me.

“Ivy,” I felt rather than saw him come closer, reach for me.

“No!” I snapped, the panic taking over. I whirled on him, and he blinked in surprise, looking taken aback. “No. This was a mistake. A huge, f*cking mistake.”

He flinched like I’d hit him, his eyes filling with hurt. “What? What are you talking-”

“You need to leave. Now.” I pushed past, doing everything in my power not to touch him, and yanked the door open.

He stared at me like I had lost my mind, all trace of his previous happiness evaporated. My heart clenched painfully. I was breaking his heart. It made me ache to see him hurt. But it was necessary. Maybe this would finally make him hate me enough to reject me.

He took a step towards me, his eyes pleading. He shook his head slowly, arguing with me. “Ivy, don’t do this. Please. Don’t push me away, not now when we’re-”

“Get out, Beta Khason!” I yelled, fighting the burning in my eyes. “Get the f*ck out and don’t come back!”

He simply stared at me. Stared and stared. My mouth opened to apologize but I slammed it shut. I couldn’t…wouldn’t love him.

“Please…” I whimpered. If he stayed, if he kept looking at me like that, even a minute longer, I would give in. I would fall at his feet and beg for forgiveness and accept the bond and hand him the Alpha title. I was barely hanging on.

As if he sensed my desperation, he dropped his eyes. Just like that, he moved, crossing to me and then past me. Out the door, along the hall and down the stairs, without a backward glance at me. I followed like a puppy, watching from the landing, but all the way to his room, he never looked back, not once. Until his door closed with a finality that cracked something in my chest.