The Beta's Second Chance

Alive

Khason

I picked my empty brain for something to say. We had been walking for hours now, in skin, and in silence, through the thick trees of Blood Moon’s southern territory. It was slow, but the detour would help to mask our scents, and make us harder to track if anyone had seen us getting out of Dawson’s car.

Ivy seemed deep in thought. About what, I couldn’t say. But she’d been distracted since we left the car. I wished we were close enough for me to ask what was on her mind.

“We should think about communication.” I said quietly, keeping my eyes on the path ahead as I navigated fallen tree branches and piles of pine needles. Ivy walked behind me, but I felt her attention on my back.

“What?” She asked absently.

“Like Dawson was saying. I think we should continue in skin until nightfall to mask our scents, but if we want to make good time, we’ll need to shift into fur tomorrow. And once we do that, we won’t be able to communicate.”

“So we’ll shift back when we have something to say.”

I supressed a snort. “As unopposed as I’d be to seeing you naked every five minutes, it’s not the most practical idea. What if we get into a dangerous situation? Or one where we need to be stealthy? Or if we need to have a conversation that those around us can’t hear?”

She sighed impatiently. “What exactly do you propose, Beta?”

I hesitated. She wasn’t going to like this. In honesty, it was Dawson’s idea. He’d mentioned it in my head in the car. “If…if you accept the mating bond,” I spoke in a rush, not giving her a chance to interrupt. “Then we’ll be able to mind link. We don’t have to mark each other or anything, it won’t be permanent, but-”

“No.” Her voice was dark and unyielding. I exhaled, rolling my eyes and turned to face her.

“Ivy, this isn’t some clever ploy to get you to fall in love with me. This could be life and death out here. We need to be able to talk to each other in fur.”

“So, come up with something else!” Her face was unsympathetic as she pushed by me.

“Like what? Morse code? Ivy!” I grabbed her arm, forcing her to halt. She whirled on me, rage in her eyes.

“I. Said. No.” She snarled. I blinked in surprise, dropping her arm. I couldn’t figure out why the idea filled her with such rage. Was I really so repulsive? Then why the hell wouldn’t she reject me? “We’ll think of something else. Let’s go. Before it gets dark.”

She turned on her heel, stomping off through the trees. I stared after her. This was never going to work. If we couldn’t get to the bottom of why we couldn’t speak in skin, it wouldn’t matter whether or not we could speak in fur. We’d be doomed.

By the time the sky had begun to turn pink and dusky, the faintest hints of stars appearing, we had managed to find the river that snaked along the eastern side of Blood Moon’s territory, an off shoot of the same one that flowed near our pack house. I gazed north. Dawson would be home now. With Gaia. With Noble and Nolan and everyone else I’d ever known. A pang of loneliness hit me.

“This is a good spot. We should set up camp.”

“It’s barely sunset.” Ivy growled. “We can keep going a while longer.”

“Setting up camp will take us some time. Besides, this is a good place. Easily defended, access to water.”

“I’m sure we can find something better.”

I barely reigned in a growl. “Mother’s t*ts, is anything ever easy with you?”

She halted, turning over her shoulder, a look of incredulity on her face. “I’m sorry…Mother’s what?”

Hmm. I guess I’d never said that one in front of her before. “I…um…”

And then, catching me completely off guard…Ivy laughed. Laughed. A surprised, breathy sound, the corners of her full lips pulling up. She blinked, as if just as surprised as I was. And then another laugh escaped her, a charming giggle, and she pressed her fingers to her lips.

I couldn’t help it. I grinned back. Her laugh was…perfect. Could this really be the first time I’d ever heard it? Honestly, I could barely remember the last time I’d seen her smile.

“That’s…” She gasped between giggles. “That’s awful. She’s gonna kick your ass right out of the Otherworld.”

I chuckled. “I’d have to make it there first.”

She shook her head, her laughter fading to a small smile. “Alright fine. Here we camp. But tomorrow, I get to pick.”

I inclined my head. “Only fair.” I dropped my pack to the ground and ran my hands through my sweaty hair, gazing longingly at the gurgling stream. I’d bathe when it got a bit darker.

I turned in a slow circle, taking in our surroundings. All was quiet as far as I could hear. But I wanted to shift, to do a quick patrol, make sure we hadn’t been followed. “Now, I ask this out of pure ignorance, and no desire to be insulting whatsoever. How much experience do you have with camping?”

Despite my warning, she looked affronted. “I happen to spend many nights outside-”

“In skin?”

Her argument faded, and her cheeks pinkened. The setting sun revealed strands of dark red and purple in her hair, so dark brown it was black in all but the brightest light. I tried not to become distracted. “Would you be willing to let me take point here? Tell you what needs to happen?”

“And you’re so familiar with camping in skin?”

I tried not to get too caught up in memories of hundreds of camping trips. Me, my dad, my Uncle Rowan and Dawson. Before learning that the older two were monsters.

“Yeah. Yeah, I am.”

Ivy set her pack on the ground, folding her toned arms over her chest. “Alright, fine. What do we do, oh Nature Guru?”

Suppose she could be calling me worse. “Well, one of us needs to take a quick run. Patrol about a mile out, in a circle, checking for any scents, potential hazards, whatever. We should set to building a fire…the nights up here still get pretty chilly, even in the summer. Then bedrolls and provisions. Whoever is running might want to hunt too, if possible. We should avoid dipping into our stock until we absolutely have to. Thoughts?”

She looked surprised, like she hadn’t expected me to ask her opinion. “Ah, okay. That sounds fine.”

Maybe she was capable of being reasonable. “Do you have a preference? Running or making a fire? Do you know how to-”

“Of course, I know how to make a fire.” She snapped.

I raised my hands defensively. Ivy rule number one: don’t insult her capabilities. “Alright. How about you do that then, and I’ll see if I can get us some food. Is that okay?”

She stared at me suspiciously for a moment before nodding. “Fine.”

“Ok. Now, when I’m in fur, you won’t be able to talk to me.” I pushed past that before she could argue. “So, if you need me, you can use this.” I rummaged in my pack and pulled out a bright orange emergency whistle. “It can be heard for miles, so only use it if the situation is serious. But if I hear it, I’ll come running. Okay?”

I moved closer to her, extending the whistle to her. She slowly unfolded one of her arms to take it from me, her warm fingers brushing mine. She examined the plastic whistle, and then tilted her head up, her dark eyes fixing on mine.

“You want me to summon you with a whistle?” She confirmed quietly, amusement dancing in those eyes. “Like a dog?”

I grinned down at her. “Woof woof, baby.” I crooned.

Her cheeks pinkened and she shoved me away. “Go run, idiot.”

I couldn’t help a chuckle. I paced back towards my pack, shrugging off my jacket and yanking my shirt over my head. In the quiet of the clearing, I felt Ivy’s eyes on my back, watching me.

I might have slowed down a tad as I unbuttoned my jeans, pushing them down off my hips. The chilling air raised goosebumps on my skin. Slowly, so slowly, I hooked my thumbs into the waist of my boxer briefs and pushed them down too. Behind me, Ivy gasped quietly. My heartbeat sped up. I was oh so tempted to turn around, to give her a full view of what could be hers, if she’d only accept me, but I didn’t want to push my luck.

I let my body shift and morph into fur, the action as intuitive as breathing, until I was on all fours.

The scent of the forest hit me like an onslaught. There was so much. Trees and grass and water. Wind and soil and fungus. Animals, birds, decay and blood. I inhaled the smell. The scent of home.

I turned finally to see Ivy watching me. I lolled out my tongue in a wolfy grin and she rolled her eyes, walking off towards the trees to begin gathering firewood.

Following the river, I trotted into the forest to the south, the most likely direction for any rogues or scouts to be coming from. They’d have to be royally stupid to enter Dawson’s territory, but I couldn’t rule out the possibility. I alternated, my nose to the ground, and then raising my head to sniff at nearby trees and then the air. Any place a wolf might have left a trace. Ten minutes passed before I picked up a scent, but it was old, days old, and the smell sang of home, of family. A Blood Moon wolf, although I couldn’t tell who. Then another. A patrol.

I continued in a wide circle, my every sense aware of where I had left Ivy. My furry ears swivelled on top of my head, focusing briefly on every sound that met them: the breeze rattling a loose twig, a squirrel scampering by overhead, a flock of birds taking flight when they noticed me. Every sound noted, cataloged, set aside.

As expected, I found nothing amiss on my patrol. I knew it was not a reason to let my guard down. But if no one had followed us this far, it was fairly safe to assume they would not tonight.

The thick, invading scent of smoke began to tickle my nose and I gazed up to see curling plumes of it dissipating into the sky. I grunted. A clear signal to anyone nearby. Dawson would have told the patrols that we were out here though. I half hoped one of them would stop by.

I slowed my movements and shifted my focus from patrolling to hunting. There were deer nearby, I could scent them. But that seemed a bit too much for one night’s dinner. We couldn’t carry the remnants of a deer along with us the next day. I put my nose to the ground again, my ears focused. It didn’t take more than a few minutes for me to scout out a warren of rabbits. I could wait for them to make an appearance, but I was impatient to return to Ivy. It had been close to an hour now and the sky was mostly dark overhead. I found the mouth of the burrow and slammed a heavy paw down on it, caving in the ground at the entrance. Instantly, sound erupted from under the ground. I focused on the scrabbling, sounds, my belly to the forest floor, and tracked their rapid movements to the opposite end of the burrow. As the rabbits filed out of their collapsing home, I caught them up, one and then another. One shake of my head, and their little backs snapped, killing them instantly.

I resisted the urge to simply crunch them down, instead carrying them in my mouth and cantering back towards the smell of the fire, towards Ivy. In wolf form they were barely a snack. In skin, they were dinner.

She had dug a small pit, near enough to the river that no one could approach from that direction, and we could put our backs to it. Smart. She was so damn smart.

She looked up as I approached, tensing slightly and then relaxing as she recognized it was me. I set the rabbits down on a rock near the fire, and padded over to her. I sniffed at her gently, assessing that she was in the same state I’d left her. She swatted at me.

“Stop.” She muttered, but there was no real fire to her tone. In fact, I could have sworn humor flickered in her eyes.

I pressed my snout into her hair, against her neck and snuffled loudly. She let out a shocked little laugh and shoved me away. “Ew! f**k off, Khason!”

With a grin, I backed off, and trotted directly into the flowing water. It was cool, but not cold, especially with my fur. I splashed through the water for a few minutes, letting it saturate my fur, feeling Ivy’s attention still on me. I spun to face her, giving a bark of delight and shook, spraying water towards the shore.

Ivy shrieked and jumped up, backing away. “If you put my fire out, I will skin you alive!”

Chuckling, I sunk into the water and let my body shift back. The smells and sounds of the forest faded as my wolf's nose and ears receded. In skin, the moving water flowed above my belly button. I dipped my head under the water, scrubbing at my scalp, and washing the sweat of the day from my skin. Refreshed, I stood again. I kept my eyes on Ivy the entire time, and she did not look away, frozen by either shock or intrigue. I hoped it was the latter.

“I…have a towel in my pack.” I said, just loud enough for her to hear me over the moving water. “Unless you don’t mind me coming over there like this…”

She hesitated, sucking her bottom lip between her teeth as her eyes roamed down my chest, to where my body disappeared into the water. Then she shook her head, as if to clear it, and turned on her heel to rummage in my pack.

I moved closer to shore, stopping only when the water lapped just below my hips. Ivy located the towel, and turned back to me, swallowing hard as she noted my newly exposed flesh. It was chilly now, wet as I was. I extended a hand for her to toss me the towel so I could get out.

Ivy moved closer slowly, clutching the towel to her like a safety net. Where the water brushed the stones of the shore, she stopped, still several feet from me. I tilted my head to the side and raised an eyebrow.

“Are you gonna throw it to me, or should I come get it?”

She blinked. Swallowed again. “If…if I throw it, it will get wet. You’re too deep.”

She was right. As usual. “Alright. Close your eyes then.”

She frowned. “Wh-what?”

“Unless you're curious, then by all means, keep them open…” I began to move closer through the water and she caught my meaning all at once as the water level dipped lower on my body. She slammed her eyes closed, nose scrunching adorably.

I fought a shiver as the breeze chilled my wet skin. I moved out of the water quickly, wading through the shallows until I stood in front of her. Her head tilted to the side as I approached, and she inhaled deeply. Her cheeks pinkened. Did she like my scent? I wondered what I smelled like to her.

I took a rare opportunity to just look at her. She was so, unfairly beautiful. Her long, thick lashes brushed the tops of her high, cinnamon-coloured cheekbones. Her dark pink lips were parted slightly as she waited. I fought the overwhelming need to kiss those lips.

Why won’t you let me love you?

A few locks of her long dark hair had come free, and danced around her face. I lifted a hand and, gently, caught them between my fingers. So soft, so silky. I slowly brushed them back, tucking them behind her ear, letting my fingertips brush her cheek. She inhaled sharply, body stiffening. Her skin was so soft, so warm it left tingles on my skin. Unable to help myself, I ran my thumb over her cheek again, down her jaw.

Somehow, the moment seemed to have cast some sort of spell on her, because she allowed it. Subconsciously, I moved even closer, until I could feel the heat of her body radiating towards mine. My head tilted down. Her hair smelled…incredible. Her face lifted upwards, even with her eyes screwed shut. My hand slid down the side of her neck, my thumb tracing her jaw, touching her bottom lip. She licked her lips automatically and my c*ck jumped.

Ivy…

I took a deep breath. I needed to back off. The last time we’d gone too far, she’d shut me out for weeks. The memory of that night crashed into my mind like a truck, and I was instantly rock hard. Ivy, scenting my arousal, gave a quiet gasp, her hands tightening on the towel. Her body leaned in towards mine automatically and the heady scent of her arousal mingled with mine. I growled quietly. Her lips parted further, as she lifted her face up towards mine.

Gathering every ounce of restraint I had, I dropped my hand, and gently tugged the towel from her, wrapping it around my hips. Her eyes popped open in surprise, and the spell seemed to break. Face flushed, she staggered away from me, turning back towards the fire.

Sh*t.

We needed to get past this. Somehow.

I got dressed rapidly, drying my hair as best I could and set the towel by the fire to dry too. I made quick work of skinning, cleaning and cutting up the rabbits with my hunting knife, setting them to cook over the fire. Then Ivy and I went over our back story, yet again, and then our intended path.

The rabbit was juicy and delicious. I ate an entire animal, and a quarter of Ivy’s. We kept a few strips, drying over the fire for later.

Full, I sprawled on my bedroll, hands tucked behind my head and gazed up at the star-filled sky, trying to keep melancholy at bay. I wondered how she would react when I inevitably launched from sleep in a few hours and stumbled into the forest to throw it all back up.

“I have a question,” Ivy said suddenly, unexpectedly. She sat on her bedroll, roasting the end of a stick in the fire, absently.

I kept my gaze on the sky, intrigued. “Shoot.”

“…what do you get out of this?”

I frowned. “What do you mean?”

“I mean…why are you doing this? Say this all goes well,”

“Which it will.” I interrupted.

“-and say we both make it out alive,” she continued as if I hadn’t spoken.

“Which we will.” I interjected again.

She huffed in annoyance and a grin tugged at my lips. “What do you get? Why are you doing this? What’s in it for you?”

I considered that. “I…don’t really get anything, really.”

She was silent for a second. “Then why put your life in danger? Why bother?”

“…because it’s not really about me, I guess.”

“Then who?” She pressed.

I shrugged. “Dawson and Gaia. Blood Moon. Summer Hunt. Your family…you. I’m doing it because I can…and it’s the right thing to do. It might not mean much for me personally, but this mission, succeeding in it…well, it means everything to you. So, it does to me too.”

I felt rather than saw her roll her eyes and she threw her stick into the fire. “Why? Because we’re mates?” She spat cynically.

I turned my head to watch her. She rested her head on her knee, arms wrapped around herself. A myriad of emotions warred in those eyes as they reflected flames.

“Have you…told anybody? About us?”

“There is no us.” She snapped. “And no. Have you?”

“Dawson knows.” Her eyes snapped accusingly to me, and I sighed. “He’s my Alpha. And my best friend. He knows everything about me. Don’t you have someone you tell everything to?”

She returned her gaze to the fire, and her face fell. F*ck. I guess that was a no. “Is it really so hard to believe?” I whispered, extending a hand in her general direction. “That I could care about you…or want to do something just to make you happy? That I want to make you happy?”

“Why, Khason?” She looked at me again, voice breathy with exasperation. “Because the Moon Mother wills it? Fated mates are a crock of sh*t. They are awful for each other as often as they’re not. In the best case scenario, all they do is take from one another, like neither of them is their own person anymore. You can’t possibly believe that we’re perfect together just because of some stupid, arbitrary bond.”

“Why not?” I pushed up on my elbows, my temper flaring. “You’re so ready to believe we couldn’t possibly be, for no reason whatsoever.”

“Because we are complete opposites!” Her voice rose in anger. “You are the golden boy Beta. Mr. Popularity. You walk around this world like you expect everyone to either bow or bend over for you. Perfect hair, perfect body, perfect stupid swaggering cocky personality. Everybody either wants you or wants to be you! You were born to help lead your incredibly powerful pack, and you do it with the same ease that you flirt and throw grins around. Meanwhile, I am the unwanted eldest daughter of an Alpha with no male heir. In a pack that is dying out by the day. I have spent my whole life being seen as nothing more than a trophy for the most eligible male, who will one day inherit my pack and the life that should have been mine! Would have been mine if I’d been born with a d*ck between my legs! I don’t have friends. I don’t have the luxury of telling the world every thought in my head. I have to be twice as strong, twice as smart, twice as perfect as anyone else, to get even the slightest shot at…” she cut off her speech abruptly, as if realizing she’d said too much.

“At becoming Alpha of Summer Hunt.” I finished for her, and she looked away. “That’s what you want, right? That’s why you’re doing all of this? Why you are…like this?”

She glared at me. “Like what, exactly?”

“Cold! Unfeeling, hardened, frigid, unrelenting, hyper-focused, stick up your ass, take your pick!”

“So, a b*tch, right? That’s what you’re trying to say?”

“I didn’t say that!”

“Go ahead, it’s nothing I haven’t heard whispered behind my back a million times before!”

“Hey!” I snapped, my temper breaking loose. I sat up sharply, staring her down. “I never said that. I would never say that, would never call you that. It’s not what I said, and it’s not what I meant, so don’t put words in my f*cking mouth.”

“Then what did you mean?” she growled.

“I meant that it wouldn’t kill you to relax a bit! The world won’t come crashing down-”

“Oh, what the hell do you know about my world?” She returned her gaze to the fire, leaning back dismissively. “With your charmed f*cking life, you’ve probably never had to work hard for anything, never had to deal with anything-”

“So, I don’t know s**t about you, but you just know everything about me, is that it?” My voice went dark, my body shaking with fury. Ivy blinked at my change of tone, returning her wary eyes to mine. “There are worse things than not getting daddy’s attention, Ivy. Worse things than your ego being bruised. You have no f*cking idea what my life is like. And if you assume you do, just because of the way I look, then you are no better than those who judge your abilities based on the way you look.”

She swallowed. I pushed off of the ground and paced off towards the trees. I didn’t go far. I stayed close enough to make out the glow of the fire through the foliage. But I needed a moment. A moment to steady my shaking hands, to clear the images of snapping jaws and gushing blood from my mind. I pressed the heels of my hands into my eyes, willing my mind to clear. Not too long though. Not so long that the darkness felt like the all encompassing, never ending darkness of death…I took deep breaths.

Soil. Trees. Smoke. I was in the forest. Miles and miles and miles away from that cave. I was safe…I was alive.