The Beta's Second Chance

I Accept

Ivy

I counted the minutes until he returned. I couldn’t see him in the trees, but I could feel him, feel his turmoil through whatever connected us. He was upset…more than upset. I wanted to go to him. I forced my arms to lock around my knees, holding me in place.

He was upset with me? Good. Maybe it would finally convince him to reject me, to forget about this mate thing.

Then why did guilt gnaw coldly at my stomach? He was right…I had judged him from the moment I first saw him. Assumed he couldn’t be anything but the carefree, swaggering male he seemed to be.

But then…part of me knew that wasn’t true. Knew it when I looked into those silver eyes, often haunted with unknown horrors. The dark circles surrounding them, and the way his whole body had seemed dragged down lately, as if sleep evaded him. And then there was that scar. Monstrous and beautiful, spanning silvery and stark across the base of his throat. Something horrific must have occurred to cause a scar like that. I’d never seen anything like it.

My ears perked up at the sound of his approaching footsteps. I couldn’t help but watch for him as he appeared again through the trees, looking calmer, but no less shaken. My head craned back further and further to keep his face in sight as he got closer, until he sank down on his bedroll, slipped into it and rolled away from me.

I frowned. That was it? He wasn’t going to yell at me?

“…is this the silent treatment? Real mature, Khase.” I muttered.

He made no response. I shivered, and not just from the cold. Come on…

“I…I’m sorry, okay? You’re right, I…had no right to assume.”

Still nothing. I bounced anxiously. For a while the only sound was the popping and crackling of the fire. I thought he might have fallen asleep as I watched the moonlight on the river, lost in thought.

“I accept.” I whispered, finally.

It took him a few moments to respond, and when he did, his voice was low and flat. “Accept what?” he murmured.

“…the bond. I accept the bond, the…m-mating bond.” I stammered over the words, my body trying to keep them in.

A few seconds later, he rolled towards me again, propping himself up on his elbow. I scanned his face automatically. He didn’t look upset anymore. Just confused. I breathed a small sigh of relief.

“What?” He asked.

I tucked my legs into my bedroll, sliding under the warm layers as the night breeze picked up. “It…makes sense. We need to be able to communicate as wolves. No marking though. And as soon as all this is over, so are we.”

Khase blinked at me. Several times. I lay flat on my bedroll and stared up at the sky, body tense, awaiting his response.

He was silent. For a very long time. So long that I eventually had to turn back, had to look at him again. He gazed at me, his expression unreadable.

“What?” I snapped, feeling far too vulnerable under his stare.

“You…realize that accepting the mating bond will do more than just allow us to mind link, right?” His face was torn, like he didn’t want to say the words. “The tether between us will strengthen. The…attraction will get stronger…it might not be as easy as ‘we’re over’.”

I rolled my eyes. “Why are you arguing? Isn’t this what you wanted?”

He heaved a sigh. “Mother’s ass, you are so damn trying. Would it kill you to just give a straight answer?”

“To what?”

“Why not reject me, Ivy?” Khason sighed, his voice a mix of reluctance and true curiosity.

I returned my gaze to the sky, fidgeting with my blankets. “Why…why not reject me?” Put me out of my misery.

“Because I don’t want to reject you,” he muttered. His meaning was clear enough. He wanted this bond. But why? I’d been awful to him? And beyond that, he barely knew me.

“Why not?”

“Uh-uh. I answered your question. Now you answer mine.”

I closed my eyes, breathing out slowly and willed sleep to find me. Of course, despite the day’s events, I was wide awake.

“How about this?” Khason continued, and I heard him settle back down onto his bedroll. “I’ll tell you what I think. If I’m right, you say nothing. You’re good at that, right? If I’m wrong, you better correct me, or I’ll just believe that I’m right.”

“How would that be different from your norm?” I muttered in annoyance. I began counting backwards from one thousand in my head, slowing my breathing, relaxing all my muscles. Come on…sleep.

“Okay. We’ll start off easy. You think you’re the best person to run your pack. Right?”

I said nothing, but my fingers tightened in my blankets.

“That’s what I thought. You want to be Alpha. Correct?”

That was obvious…my father had said as much in front of him. I remained silent.

“Alright. You…always think you know better than everyone else and refuse to relinquish control to anybody other than yourself.”

“Hey!” My eyes popped open, and I turned my head to find him smirking up at the sky, eyes closed, hands folded under his head. At some point, he had removed his shirt and pants, which were folded neatly beside his bedroll, and the pale moonlight set the hard ridges of his chest and upper stomach in sharp relief. Fortunately, his blankets were pulled up to just above his belly button, so I could not see any lower. I could, however, make out the dusting of hair that began there, trailing its way down, under those blankets, into his underwear…

I dropped my head back down, forcing my thoughts away from where that path led, the substantial bulge that he had pressed between my legs as he held me up against my bedroom door…focus Ivy!

“I don’t hear you contradicting me.” Khase taunted with a small chuckle. My traitorous eyes returned to him, so at ease, so relaxed, as per usual. Like he was king of the whole damn world. I eyed the band of crescent moon tattoos that wound around his thick bicep. I always thought decorative tattoos on wolves were stupid. So much pain and suffering and work just to put some pretty dancing moons on your arm? It didn’t match what I knew about him, to be so…callous for no good reason.

“I know my pack. I know my strengths. I have studied and trained all my life to be very good at what I do. So, forgive me if I-”

“So, I’m right, is what you’re saying?”

I snarled, slamming my eyelids shut again. “You’re an ass, is what I’m saying.”

“You say such sweet things to me. Hmm…you’ve never had a boyfriend before.”

“Excuse me?” I sputtered in outrage. “Of course, I have had a-”

“One. You’ve had exactly one boyfriend.”

My retort petered out and Khason laughed. Fury boiled in my blood. “You don’t know anything about-”

“Let’s dig deeper, shall we? You liked him, and he liked you. But he was intimidated by you, and you were too scared of what it would mean for your Alpha dreams to actually commit and recognize him as your boyfriend. Right? I’ll say you slept with him for a while and when he wanted to take things further, you tucked tail and ran like hell. I’ll say you call him your ex-boyfriend in your head, but you never actually called him your boyfriend while you were with him. Am I right?”

“You…are…”

“An ass, I got that. But I’m also right. Aren’t I?”

“Oh, shut up and go to sleep, you know-it-all prick!” I snapped, my cheeks burning in embarrassment. How the hell was he able to lay me bare like this? Was I really that transparent?

No one had known about Noah. I made sure of it. Even now, he worked on patrol so I never saw him. But I could still remember the hard embarrassment on his face when I’d ended it…how it had cracked something open, deep inside me when he’d told me he loved me…and I’d told him it was over.

Khason was quiet for a while. Long enough for me to reach 600 in my count down. Then he said, “You like me.”

Bold. He was so f*cking bold. It made me want to smack him. Made me want to open my mouth and tell him how wrong he was. I opened it…closed it. Opened it again…sh*t. Maybe if I said nothing, he’d think I’d fallen asleep.

Not so. “You like me and that scares you.”

I rolled away from him, curling into a ball under my blankets, and watched the moonlight glint over the water.

“You want to trust me. You want to give in. You want to be my mate and feel what it’s like to be loved. But you’ve had nothing for so long. Nothing but this one goal of yours. And you have no idea how to let go…how to accept that you might actually want something else even more. Me.”

“Mother above, you know you’re the cockiest *sshole I’ve ever met?” I spat. “How the hell can you think so highly of yourself? What have I ever done to make you think I want you?”

“You really want me to tell you?” He asked, his voice firmer now. “You want me to say it out loud? You’re not as strong as you think you are, Ivy. Not as cold. I see how you look at me. I hear how you catch your breath when you see me. I feel how your body temperature rises; I smell my effect on you. Those are things you cannot hide. Not to mention the fact that the moment you let your guard down, the moment you lost control for just a second, you kissed me, Ivy. You kissed me. And you can’t stay away from me. You don’t want to. No matter how much you try, you gravitate to me. Just like I gravitate to you. And above all? You haven’t rejected me! All your problems would be solved if you did, but you won’t. Because deep down? You don’t want to!”

“Oh, shut up!” I screamed, sitting up and whirling to face him. “For f*ck’s sake, will you just shut up? Mother’s above, you really think you know everything, don’t you? Or is it that you just love the sound of your own voice?”

His silvery eyes opened. His head tilted slowly, and he looked at me. My heart pounded with fury, with…something else. Don’t look at me like that…I can’t think clearly when you look at me like that.

So slowly, he sat up, his blankets falling to his waist. Then he threw them off.

I forgot how to breathe.

In just his boxer-briefs, he got to his feet, and crossed the clearing, to my sleeping bag. My mouth went dry, my heart thundering as he knelt beside me, mostly naked, and levelled his eyes on mine. Unbidden, my eyes flicked to his lips. I swallowed.

His head tilted to the side and my face flamed as I knew he was listening to the traitorous sprinting of my blood in my veins. Just the corner of his mouth lifted, his eyes turning molten as he breathed in the scent of my arousal. So…damn sexy…

He sucked his bottom lip into his mouth, eyes tightening, and he leaned closer, as if losing his grip on control. Close enough that I could feel his heat. Close enough that I could hear his heartbeat, pounding just as fast as mine. Close enough that I could smell the thick scent of his arousal for me…I didn’t dare let my eyes drop down to his crotch.

“Oh, I don’t know anything…” He breathed, his voice thick and deep with lust. My core clenched, my underwear becoming damp. “But you are still not contradicting me…in fact…I think you’re confirming…right?”

His hand lifted, slowly, allowing me ample time to pull away. I did not. Couldn’t if I tried. His fingers caught a stray lock of my hair, floating in the breeze, and gently tucked it behind my ear. I shivered as he trailed his fingertips down my neck, raising goosebumps on my skin. So gently…I wanted him rough. I want you to slam me up against a tree and take me, hard.

He exhaled sharply, low, and needy. His fingers caressed my jaw, his thumb coming up to brush my lower lip. I parted them, and his eyes fixed on my mouth. I tilted my face up towards his, unable to help myself. Kiss me…

“You really want me to?” He murmured, eyes searching mine.

I paused. Blinked. Did I…say that out loud?

“No. But I’ve been able to hear your thoughts ever since the moment you accepted the bond.”

My heart stuttered. My jaw dropped in astonishment. And Khason…Khason…smirked.

“You…what?”

“I surprised you didn’t notice…you’ve been shouting your every thought at me for the last hour…I must say, it’s very nice to finally be able to see into that beautiful, complicated, delightfully dirty mind of yours…”

Humiliation flooded me and I slapped his hand away, shoving him backwards. He simply stood, laughing, graceful and unfazed as usual.

“I take it that means you don’t want me to kiss you, then?” He backed slowly, arrogantly, towards his own sleeping bag, arms spread, putting himself on display for me. I tried hard not to look at the noticeable protrusion in his underwear. “Could have fooled me. Maybe you just want to admire my ‘sexiness’ for a while. Should I spin for you?”

I didn’t think I’d ever been so embarrassed. At that moment, I was pretty sure I hated him. Hated him for being able to undo me. Hated him for being able to see deeper into me than anyone ever had before. Hated him for being his cocky, *sshole self. Infallible. Like I had no effect on him whatsoever, like I was nothing more than his…plaything.

I snatched up the closest object to me, my shoe, and hurled it at him with all of my strength. His eyes barely had time to widen in surprise before it slammed into his chest with an echoing thunk, causing him to stagger back a few steps. He clutched the spot it had hit him, staring down at it as if surprised. Good. I hope it hurt like hell.

I hope it gives you another scar. I shot my thoughts towards him, and from the way his eyes lifted back to mine, I knew he heard.

I rolled back over, pulling my blankets completely over my head this time, enveloping myself in darkness.

Drop dead, Vargas.