Umbra: Feed on my Fear

Signs and Symptoms

I wake up to the sound of a robotic melody of my phone. I groan as I lift my head from the cold tiles of my bathroom floor.

Adjusting my gaze around me, I guess that it's between eight to nine in the morning.

Fear suddenly erupts when I begin to recall what happened. The memory of the horrific scenes play in my head.

The rush of pain surges through me as I feel like my skin is burning. My skin is scorching.

I level my eyes to my arms as I see spots of red all over it. With wide eyes and erratic breathing, I look over my body. I cry in pain as I scramble to the living room.

My face. My arms and legs. And chest, even, was covered in rashes.

What is happening? With tears in my eyes, I immediately grab my keys and bag that was left unmoved on the couch.

I take staggering steps to the front door. Right away, I have to see a doctor- to a hospital. Anywhere, I want to go where someone can help me figure out what is going on in my body. Is this a medical case? f**k if it's not!

I am greeted by two things that escalates my headache: one, the painful blazing sun and two, the violent barking of Mrs. Brossman's dog, Rex.

"Heidi, are you okay? You look sick," Mrs. Brossman asks.

The Siberian Husky keeps on barking, almost ripping its leash when it sees me. The only thing that keeps it from biting my leg off is its struggling owner.

"Yes. Uhm, I'm going to the hospital right now. So..." I put on my running shoes while I walk towards my car.

"Oh, my son can take you there. My goodness. Down, Rex!"

"No, thank you. I don't want to be a bother." By the look she's giving me, I am fully aware what I look like. Aside from my burning rashes, there are dark circles surrounding my eyes. My skin is awfully pale. I am covered with sweat and my eyes are hollow. "See you at Bingo night on Sunday."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. Thank you," I nicely say before I lose my mind entirely and springs it all on her.

"Oh, okay. Take care," that is the last thing that I hear from her before I speed away.

I am sitting at the emergency room, biting my nail, as I wait for a doctor to approach me. It's a busy Friday morning here at Haven Row Hospital. People are rushing in with a patient that has burn marks and another unsuspecting man with a stab wound on his left arm that even the nurses are running around getting their vitals.

I called in sick today. Mister Khatri understood. Why wouldn't he? I never call in sick, just a bit late. So, I guess that's why.

I close my eyes as I let out a breath. The rashes are not going away. Surely, someone is going to see me and gives me a medication.

"Hi! I'm doctor Smith. Are you miss Monroe?" She asks while holding my clip board with my details on it that I filled up earlier.

"Yes. Good morning," I urge myself to smile at the short, gray haired woman in a white coat.

A ray of hope touches me as I let her do a physical exam on me.

After that, she just nods and clicks her pen which I find slightly annoying.

"Have you been taking medications and psychoactive drugs for the past twenty-four hours?"

"I took Xanax," I can tell that she's rushing to find out what's wrong with me for another patient from bed four vomits.

"Yes. It is common to experience side effects of a particular drug such as drowsiness, memory problems, increased sweating, blurred vision and headache."

"But can't you see this? Look at these rashes. It can't be just a side effect of a drug."

She just looks at me like I have grown three ears on my face.

"You know, some of our patients also suffer from this kind of case such as temporary delusion."

"What do you mean? Delusion?"

"I advise you to rest and just forget about your worries for a day. Stay hydrated and mantain a proper and balanced meal. And you'll never know, you'll feel better."

"Can't you see it? Seriously?"

"Thank you, miss Monroe."

"But, doctor-"

She pats my knee and hurries away to the said patient in bed four.

I am just there left sitting with a gaping mouth. What the actual heck is happening? No one can see my rashes? But, it's all over me!

Is this even right?

Well, she says that it's a very common thing. After all I should listen to her because she's a doctor.

Even though my instinct is screaming, I just take a deep breath and follow her orders.

Night comes and the rashes are not subsiding. By the moment, I am getting more and more worried. I take a sip of my water as I stand there at a dark space of my kitchen island.

I switch off almost all of the lights in my house except for the one on the front porch that somehow gives me the ability to see from the inside. It's just that I can't stand the painful bright lights that hit my skin. I wipe the tear from my eyes as hopelessness engulfs me more than the darkness itself.

"Austin, please help me. If you're here, I am sorry. I am hopeless and I hope that you forgive me."

"Come into the darkness," a familiar low voice says in the distance near the dining table. I look over and sees Austin standing there only his eyes are of blazing red.

But I am already in the dark. I look over to the transition shade of the distance that separates us. Yes, I am already in the dark but there is a region in the part of the room that is completely devoid of light.

Now he is asking me to step into that space.

"Come here. Whisper it to me," he holds up his hand and I cannot see much of his face but just his shadow figure from afar.

Right now, I am desperate for even thinking straight. I want to go to him and just surrender everything. I take a slow step forward.

I hear Austin makes a sinister laugh. 

"Yes, come. I will take all of your woes and pain away."

This isn't right. He's playing tricks on me. No, this can't be him. I just know it.

Whoever or whatever it is, it is planning to hurt me. I stop on my tracks, hands cold and lips quivering as I reach silently for the knife that is lying on the counter.

"N-No," ever so slightly, I move away and distance myself towards the door.

"I can even bring your brother back to life if you come over here now," it's voice growing impatient.

Another step away...

"Who are you?"

The snapping of its limbs cause me to shriek. It's like seeing a creature being molded into a beast like stature. A loud monstrous, guttural sound escapes its mouth and as soon as the lightning strikes, I bolt outside.

I run as fast as I can as I grip the handle of the short blade. The skies are dark and only the lamp posts illuminate the deserted street.

My breathing comes in short gasps, feet pounding heavily across the ground and everything around me just becomes a blur. I am running for my life. I choke by just thinking about it.

I have been through this situation before. It seems so familiar like I've seen this happening in my dream.

"There's no need to run," the wild beast with its black fur and sharp teeth appears in front of me. It opens its jaws sideways, cutting at the middle and saliva dripping from it. We are blocks away from where I was and just near the trees of the community park. It could have been a peaceful place.

"s**t if I don't."

I go on to a different direction as I feel the creature advance towards me on all fours. Before I know it, its canines punctures my left leg, almost occupying my entire limb.

I cry in pain as I can feel its teeth gnawing on my muscles and probably my bone. Gritting my teeth, I take all my energy and force in lunging the knife onto the creatures head. 

When the beast withdraws its head from my leg, I stab it again and again all over its chest.

I plunge the blade like there's no tomorrow. All my fury and pent up anger releases the violent side of me that I can never fathom. The beast is down to its back as I sit over its chest and pierce its eye sockets. I don't give a s**t anymore. The only thing that I feel right now is anger that of all the people in the world, this has to happen to me.

All my life, I am in the dark abyss and I was weak. But now, I feel liberated. I feel brave than ever before.