The Impossible Bond

Chapter 4

Harper's P.O.V

I felt his lips violently pressed against mine, I put my hands on his chest, I felt him squeeze me harder and harder, what was happening could hardly be described as a kiss, our lips pressed against each other, for a few seconds I was paralyzed, I didn't know how to react ... then everything started to make sense ... I had closed my eyes reflexively, the moment I opened them, I saw him, his blue eyes were now black, a strange glow enveloped his iris, his mother's words came to mind ... "When the wolf takes control, we can no longer control ourselves, at that moment we are no longer us, usually there must be a line of connection between wolf and person, gestures and feelings must be done together, it happens that often the wolf wants to do something and man does not, so the wolfs steps in."

Of course, at that moment I was not kissed by the man, I was kissed by the wolf and the bond between us. It's such a weird thing for me ... something I can't understand ... from what I've caught these days, this connection is based on desire, lust, feelings that don't seem to have anything to do with what we humans we appreciate, in a relationship these kind of things works at first for us but then they get lost, what remains behind is respect and habit. Tyler was right ... what is between us is an impossible bond.

I tried to free myself from his grip, but I was like in a vise, the harder I struggled the tighter the grip become, . for a moment I managed to pull my lips out of his and shouted at him.

-Tyler! Stop, that's not you!

I saw the color return to his eyes like a painting of ink being drawn back, the mist in his eyes disappeared leaving blue where it belonged. I could read the panic in his eyes, his hands still clutching my shoulders, I felt him gently pull his hands away. There was nothing more to say, I was right ... it wasn't him, for a moment I felt angry, why? why did I feel angry?  I sighed.

-It’s okay…I  said, your mother explained to me very carefully about something like this could happened, so I know it was not you. I want  to go home do you think we can leave?

I took a few steps trying to leave the bathroom, without waiting for his answer, at that moment I was grabbed by the arm, pulled up, and put on the shoulder.

-Tyler ?! What's going on? put me down!

-I think you underestimated me, Harper, I'm not even close to the good boy you think I am and I'm tired of this game of yours, don't think I don't know what are you up to.

-What are you talking about?? Put me down!

Of course, by this point my words could not reach him, we left out of the bathroom and out of the stairs a few people saw us but none interfered or asked what is happening, he throws me violently on the back of his car and shut the door, he snatched the keys from his driver and came back in the car.

-What the f**k is wrong with you? I shouted. He was driving with insane speed.

-You will kill us both!! Stop the car!

I have to say by this moment I was scared as f**k, finally, after a few months, I could feel my heart beating like crazy.

-I can hear your heart beating Harper, this time a panic attack won't save you.

I squeezed the material of the back seat, I won't lie when I say I wanted to get out of the car because of fear. I couldn't even concentrate on all the words he said, I saw his eyes change color this time for sure he was himself, but still, why was he so angry? what have I done?

Soon I started to recognize the scenario, We were back at the packhouse, of course, this time it seemed empty, everyone was at the party, it was just us. The brake placed  in front of the house almost projected me in the front seats. Tyler got out of the car angrily, I saw him pass in front of the car lit by headlights took off his bow tie. When he opened the back door I froze.

-         Get out! He ordered. I swear I could hear his voice doubled like they were two people talking.

-         No...I am scar...I couldn't finish my sentence because I was brutally pulled by my wrist out of the car, I started to stumble into my sandals and dress, the road to the bedroom seemed to me like road to death, I wasn’t so scared in my life ... I easily began to realize what was going to happen. But why? What had I done? Why was he so angry?

He opened the door and pushed me into the bedroom, I tripped in my dress and fell to the ground, hitting the corner of the bed, for a few seconds I saw black in front of my eyes, I tried to somehow crawl to escape, I knew already until now that it would be impossible. I felt something warm leaking on my cheek ... the blood entered in my left eye leaving me partially the blood was from the blow to the head probably. I felt I was grabbed by the waist and raised, I tried to appear with my hands but it was in vain, Tyler threw me in bed and sat on top of me holding my arms above my head with one hand and with the other the ripped off my satin dress, leaving my breasts bare. Tears started to fill my eyes, I was no virgin but I felt so embarrassed.

-Don’t struggle, you said before you have no energy left in you, what’s with the sudden change? He said, I could feel his coldness in his voice. He was right…I was taking him lightly…he was a bad person. Everything went down after that…Soon I could feel his lips on my n*****s, sucking and kissing  he started to kiss me until he reached my neck…

-I will never mark you…you are not qualified…look at you …all this blood just from a small hit, you are so weak that it makes me sick. I was hurt by his words, I felt so bad…so useless.

-Stop…I murmured. The kisses continued …my breasts my hands…and my thights. They were rough but somehow gentle…I started to cry hard , he released my hands so I started to cover my face with my hands.  He was all over me with one hand on my neck and the other on my thigh, he gave me kiss between my breasts and stopped. I  could not see his face anymore the blood was all over my face and my eyes. He lift me up and carry in his arms … I could feel when he placed me inside the bathtub.

-Stop crying, I am done for tonight and he left. Looks like you still feel something.

I cried all night in the bathroom.