Naruto's Alternate Universe : Konoha Police

“For 20 years, I’ve been doing this,” the man said, turning around dramatically. He wore a bright red shirt with three buttons undone, revealing his broad chest. Dark sunglasses sat firmly on his face, even though the dimly lit room made them unnecessary. A lit cigarette dangled between his fingers as a faint trail of smoke curled upwards. “No one has dared to mess with me,” he continued, taking a slow drag from his cigarette. His sharp gaze fell upon two figures kneeling before him, their hands bound tightly behind their backs. His eyes flickered with both fury and suspicion. “Do you know why?” he asked arrogantly, leaning forward slightly as he stared them down. The room was tense, silent except for the faint crackling of the cigarette. “Because every night... I—” Suddenly, the moment was interrupted. “Ahh... ahh... ahhhh...” Sasuke Uchiha, one of the kneeling men, scrunched up his face, clearly on the verge of sneezing. His nose twitched uncontrollably, his mouth hanging open. He desperately tried to stifle it, but the sneeze refused to come out. Naruto Uzumaki, kneeling beside him, sighed loudly in frustration. “Seriously?” Naruto muttered, shaking his head. He glanced at the man in front of them—Choji, the infamous drug kingpin—and then back at Sasuke with obvious irritation. “Sorry, Choji. It’s the dust. His nose is... well, too small for all that dust.” Sasuke shot Naruto an annoyed glare. Choji, unbothered by the interruption, took another drag from his cigarette. “Because every night, when I fall asleep, I wake up... drenched in sweat,” he growled. “My armpits soaked! It’s a sign,” he continued, his voice rising with anger. “A sign that one of my men is going to betray me.” He stared at the two kneeling figures intensely, his fury palpable. “AaaahhhCHHUUUUUUMMMM!” Sasuke finally sneezed, the loud sound echoing through the room. “Oh my god! Ewwww!” Choji recoiled in disgust. A thin stream of sneeze dripped from Sasuke’s nose. He quickly tilted his head back, trying to prevent it from running down his face. Naruto, now horrified, shuffled away from Sasuke as far as his tied hands would allow. “Is it... is it leaking?” Sasuke asked, turning his head toward Naruto and leaning closer. “Stay back, you bastard! Your snot is everywhere, dattebayo!” Naruto yelled, eyes squeezed shut in disgust as he tried to squirm away. “Someone clean him up! Now!” Choji barked, snapping his fingers. One of Choji’s men hurried over, holding a tissue. Sasuke leaned back nonchalantly, letting the henchman wipe his nose. “Gross! Hurry up!” Choji shouted, visibly cringing. “Thanks,” Sasuke muttered casually to the henchman once his face was wiped clean. Naruto shook his head, eyes still closed tightly. “You’re disgusting, dattebayo.” The room settled again as Naruto and Sasuke refocused their attention on Choji. “Just this week alone, I’ve been raided twice!” Choji shouted, his voice filled with rage. “Five kilos of cocaine—gone! All of it, right after you two joined my crew!” He jabbed a finger toward them accusingly. “Now, start talking! Which one of you is the cop?!” “Nonsense! I have nothing to do with that, dattebayo!” Naruto protested, shaking his head frantically. “Then prove it,” Choji challenged, narrowing his eyes. “Right now.” Naruto glanced around nervously. “Do I look like a cop in this pathetic state? Come on, Choji... I’m tied up, kneeling, and dealing with his snot,” he argued, jerking his head toward Sasuke. “Does that scream ‘cop’ to you?” Choji considered Naruto’s point but then turned his attention to Sasuke. “Maybe you’re weak... but what about him?” Sasuke blinked, then smirked lazily. “Choji... it’s... it’s steroids,” he said with a mischievous grin. “You know, for fun... you know...” Sasuke trailed off and then, to Naruto’s horror, began miming an exaggerated thrusting motion, complete with sound effects. “Ummph... ummmphhh... in bed, Choji.” Naruto groaned loudly, shaking his head in disbelief. “Seriously, dude?” Choji stared blankly at Sasuke, cigarette halfway to his mouth, completely at a loss for words. “All right, then,” Choji muttered, turning his back to them as he walked to his large, cluttered desk. He reached down, grabbing a sleek black handgun. Calmly, he loaded a single bullet into the chamber with a sharp click that echoed through the room. Naruto and Sasuke’s eyes widened in alarm, their bodies tensing as they braced for whatever came next. “Naruto-kun,” Choji purred teasingly, his voice smooth and calculated as he turned back around. He aimed the gun directly at Naruto’s forehead, the barrel steady in his hand. Naruto froze, his breathing shallow, his eyes still locked wide open. “I have a question for you,” Choji continued, his smirk growing more sinister. His finger hovered over the trigger. “Could a cop... kill an innocent man?” Choji asked softly, almost playfully, though his eyes were sharp and dangerous. Naruto swallowed hard, a bead of sweat trickling down his temple. “H-how... how should I know?” he stammered, his voice trembling. “We’re not cops, dattebayo!” His voice cracked slightly, and Sasuke, though equally tense, gave a small nod in agreement. “We’re gangsters, remember? We don’t know anything about cops,” Naruto added quickly, trying his best to sound convincing. Choji’s grin stretched wider as he chuckled darkly. “Is that so?” he whispered. But then, his face hardened into a scowl. Without another word, he snapped his fingers, summoning one of his henchmen. A large man lumbered forward from the shadows behind Naruto. He was even larger than Choji, his round belly straining against a too-tight black T-shirt, and his jeans, two sizes too small, groaned with every step he took. The henchman tried to crouch behind Naruto to untie him, but it was no easy feat. “Uhh... you okay, man? Want me to stand up or something?” Naruto asked nervously, offering a hesitant chuckle. “Sh-shut up!” the henchman snapped, clearly flustered as he struggled to bend his knees. His face was red with effort. He forced himself lower, but the inevitable happened. RRRRRIIIIIIPPPP! The sound of his jeans tearing was painfully loud, cutting through the silence like a gunshot. Everyone froze. The henchman’s face turned beet red as embarrassment washed over him, but he carried on, determined to finish untying Naruto despite the wardrobe malfunction. Naruto bit his lip hard, shoulders trembling as he tried desperately not to laugh. Sasuke turned his face to the side, squeezing his eyes shut, his own lips pressed tightly together to avoid bursting out laughing. “Don’t... say... anything,” the henchman growled through clenched teeth. “I... I wasn’t gonna,” Naruto whispered, though his body was visibly shaking from holding back his laughter. As the henchman finally loosened the ropes around Naruto’s wrists, Naruto let out a deep breath, still biting back his grin. Sasuke, barely holding it together, whispered under his breath, “Nice jeans.” “I heard that!” the henchman barked, glaring at Sasuke. Naruto let out a snort, which quickly turned into a cough to cover it up. Choji, clearly unimpressed with the comedic interlude, rubbed his temples in frustration. “Can we please get back to the part where I threaten your lives?” Choji sighed, waving the gun lazily in their direction. “Sure, sure... sorry,” Naruto muttered quickly, still grinning. The henchman stood up awkwardly, trying to pull his torn jeans together with one hand. Sasuke gave him a smug glance. “I swear to god, I’m gonna—” the henchman started, but Choji cut him off with a loud clap of his hands. “Enough!” Choji barked. “Naruto... Sasuke... one of you is lying. And I’m going to find out who.” He stepped closer, gun still aimed at Naruto. “So, let me ask again... Could a cop kill an innocent man?” Naruto, still tied up but slightly more relaxed now, took a deep breath. “Look, Choji, if we were cops, would we really let your guy over here rip his pants in front of us and not call for backup already?” Sasuke smirked. “He’s got a point.” The henchman glared daggers at both of them. Choji rolled his eyes. “You two are impossible,” he muttered, but the suspicion in his eyes remained. Naruto gulped. This is gonna be harder than I thought... Choji yanked Naruto up by his collar, forcing him to his feet. Without warning, he grabbed Naruto’s hand and shoved his loaded gun into Naruto’s trembling palm. “If you’re really not a cop,” Choji said coldly, “then prove it. Kill him.” Naruto’s breath hitched as he stared at Choji in disbelief, then slowly turned his wide eyes toward Sasuke, who remained kneeling, bound and helpless. “I want you to show me you’re a real gangster, Naruto. Not a cop,” Choji pressed, his voice dripping with menace. “Choji..., let’s talk about this,” Sasuke said, his voice calm but urgent as he tried to reason with him. “Shut up!” Choji roared, stepping forward and screaming directly into Sasuke’s face. Sasuke flinched slightly but held his composure. Choji turned back to Naruto, his eyes narrowing. “Do it, Naruto. Or I’ll shoot you instead.” Before Naruto could respond, Choji’s henchmen moved in closer, surrounding him. Cold steel barrels pressed against his head, his back, his sides. Guns pointed at him from every direction. “Naruto...” Sasuke whispered, his usually stoic expression now laced with genuine concern. His dark eyes locked onto Naruto’s, silently urging him to stay calm. Naruto’s chest rose and fell rapidly as he struggled to keep his breathing steady. He gripped the gun tightly, his palms sweaty. Slowly, hesitantly, he raised the weapon and aimed it at Sasuke. Sasuke’s eyes fluttered shut. He turned his head to the side, as if trying to brace himself for the inevitable. Naruto’s hands trembled violently. His finger hovered over the trigger, but he couldn’t pull it. I can’t do this... not to him... Choji growled in frustration. His patience was wearing thin. Without warning, Choji snatched a gun from one of his henchmen, stormed toward Naruto, and pressed the barrel against Naruto’s crotch. “ONE!” Choji shouted, his finger itching on the trigger. Naruto gasped, feeling the cold metal against his most sensitive area. His entire body shook, and he squeezed his eyes shut. “TWO!” Choji screamed louder, spittle flying from his mouth, his voice echoing through the room. Sasuke kept his eyes closed, his face turned away, and resigned to whatever fate awaited him. The room was deathly silent. BANG! The sharp crack of a gunshot shattered the silence. Sasuke’s body jerked as the bullet hit him squarely in the chest. His eyes snapped open, wide with shock, and he fell backward onto the floor with a heavy thud. Naruto stood frozen, the gun still raised, his breath shallow and ragged. His hands shook even harder now, his eyes filled with horror at what he had just done. Choji let out a low, sinister chuckle. “Well... I guess you’re not a cop after all,” he said, lowering his weapon from Naruto’s groin and stepping back. Naruto’s heart pounded in his chest. He couldn’t tear his eyes away from Sasuke’s unmoving body.