International Love

Chapter 4

After the night at the movie premiere, things have been awkward between Lacey and Derek. Things have been awkward between me and Derek. Derek wouldn’t speak to me. He wouldn’t even look at me. He was acting like he was five because I told him to shut up. I’ve even apologized multiple times.

“The freaking vibes in this band have gone to shit.” Steven said sitting down in a chair at the recording studio.

“It’s because freaking Lacey couldn’t just leave things alone. She has to keep pushing the thought of a relationship with Derek.” I said looking at him, “How are we the only normal people?”

“Seems like we’ve become the voice of reason.” He laughed, “Where are they anyway?”

“I have no idea. Derek wasn’t at his house this morning when Ronald and I arrived.” I responded twisting the truth.

I wasn’t fully lying. Derek really wasn’t at home when Ronald arrived to pick us up this morning. And Lacey rode with us to the studio but then disappeared. Hopefully she wasn’t tying him up somewhere. We were here so early to discuss our upcoming tour and to record a couple new songs for the deluxe edition of our new album that was just released.

“Where’s Lacey?” I heard Derek ask as he walked in, “That girl. She has made it her personal mission to paint her and I as a couple.”

“What?” Steven and I asked in unison.

“Oh, didn’t you see the news?” He scoffed pulling out his phone.

He scrolled on his phone before pulling up an article from TMZ “confirming” their relationship. The pictures used just so happened to be from a couple of our dinner and movie nights. I rolled my eyes and handed the phone back to him. I felt like I was going to vomit. But not because of the group. It was because of my own selfish reasons.

I wanted Derek. I wanted to kiss him. I wanted to sleep in his arms. I never felt that way before about anyone. I always thought it was just a crush. And it may have just been a crush. But the feelings I had for Derek were intense. Intense enough to make my body fill with jealousy.

“Hey Ivy, someone is calling your phone, you left it in the booth.” Lacey said finally making her appearance.

“What?” I said taking it out of her hands.

“Lacey, we need to talk.” Derek said angrily.

I looked down at my vibrating phone and saw a number that looked familiar but I didn’t know.

“Hello?” I answered hesitantly.

“Baby girl?” I heard a woman’s voice on the other end. I knew exactly who it was.

“Mom?” I whispered, “How did you get my number?”

I heard Lacey and Dereks bickering soften and suddenly there was silence as I looked at all three of them. I looked at them and mouthed “it’s my mom.”

“Oh honey, you can get anything off the internet.” She giggled, “how are you? I’ve been following your success for so long.”

“You abandoned me. Why are you calling?” I said as I felt tears begin to well up in my eyes.

“Honey,” she sighed, “I didn’t want to leave you all those years ago. Daddy made us leave you behind. He didn’t want a child that wasn’t his living with us anymore.”

“What?” I mumbled, “He’s not my real dad?”

“No honey, he’s not. I’m sorry I lied to you.” She said, “But listen there’s a reason I’m calling. We’re falling behind on our bills and we need some money.”

“You’re calling me because you need money.” I laughed through my tears, “She’s calling me because she needs money.” I said looking at my band mates.

“We just need $20,000. We’ve fallen so behind.” She said sniffling as if she were crying. But I knew she wasn’t.

“You don’t get to abandon me at 13 years old and call me 5 years later when you see I’ve become a successful woman. You don’t get to do that mother.” I said into the phone, “You don’t get to leave me to fend for myself when I wasn’t even old enough to get a job. I slept on park benches and bathed in ponds and lakes so that I didn’t have to go into the foster care system. And you have the nerve to call me asking me for not just a couple hundred or even a couple thousand of dollars but $20,000? No Cathy. You can go to hell.”

As far as I was concerned my mother was nothing more than just a person. A person that I didn’t know.

I hung up the phone and looked at my band mates. They were staring at me wide eyed. I felt tears continue to fall out of my eyes as my chest became tight. I knew I was about to have a panic attack.

“She wants money.” I whispered.

“Ivy,” Derek said stepping closer.

I took a step back and walked out of the room. I needed to get out of there. My walking turned into running. Before I knew it I was running out into the parking garage. I dropped to my knees on the pavement and sobbed. Thank god no one could get up here without a key card. I knew I was safe from paparazzi.

I sat there on the pavement and sobbed uncontrollably. How could my own mother abandon me and then have the nerve to call asking for money? How could my own mother hide the fact that my dad wasn’t my dad? How could this be happening to me?

I sat there sobbing for what seemed like ever and I felt arms snake around my body. I didn’t need to look to see who it was because I smelled his cologne. It was Derek.

“Derek, how could this be happening to me?” I sobbed.

“I know it sucks right now,” He whispered, “And I can’t imagine what you’re going through. But I’m here for you for whatever you need. Even if it’s just to cry. And I promise things will get better for you. I promise you. No one is going to hurt you.”

Derek was consoling me in the best way he knew how to. He was holding me and letting me cry. I cried until I couldn’t cry anymore. I pulled away and looked Derek in his blue eyes. I felt safe again.

“You ready to go in and discuss our tour?” He smiled.

“Yeah, I’m tired of crying. It gives me a headache.” I whispered and smiled, “But don’t think you’re off the hook for ignoring me the last few days.”

“Ivy,” He whispered and looked down at the ground.

“You don’t get to push me out every time Lacey makes you mad.” I said, “We are band mates and we are supposed to be able to work our s**t out together. If we can’t do that then we don’t need to be performing together. I don’t push you out when stuff like this happens. I’m your best friend. Don’t push me out.”

“I’m sorry. I didn’t realize you felt that way.” He answered, “I always thought of you as my best friend too but I didn’t think you looked at me like that.”

“Of course I do. You opened your home to me while my house is being fixed. You were the only one to offer. Out of everyone, you’re my best friend.”

“Can I tell you something?” He asked.

“Anything.” I smiled.

He looked like he had a lot on his mind. I wanted him to open up to me like I open up to him.

“Please don’t get mad.” He said.

“Derek, I could never be super mad at you.” I smiled.

“The other night when I said Lacey was messing everything up. I meant it.” He said.

“What?” I asked confused.

“Lacey is messing things up because she’s not who I want to be with. I want to be with you.” He said looking into my eyes.

“What?”