Her King Of Shadows

Chapter VI.

Rage ruled his heart and he didn’t know the reason why. He had lived so many years without feelings, but in those couple of nights he spent in the isolation of the forest he had them all coming back to him. So strong and powerful, he thought he would not survive. Since meeting the girl, he hasn’t stopped thinking about her. How she answered him with a quiet voice which hid the truth. How she stood up to him even without him noticing it at first. How she looked him in the eyes, aware of every fast beat of his heart she caused him. And now he was standing in the forest while snowing. And each night he promised himself it would be his last. But the day would come and his lips couldn’t speak the words. And his guards would wait in vain. Not asking questions. Just following him as they did for centuries. He would walk the forest as if looking for something which could not be found. Because it was lost so long ago.

And this night he heard steps behind him. He knew who was coming. Victoria waited for this moment for too long. He had no right to meet her questions with his silence any longer. He looked at her pale face in silence again. It has been a long time since they last met. And it wasn’t in the best of circumstances. But they were part of the same family. They shared the same loyalty which nothing could destroy. Her eyes were the color of almonds. Always sad and patient. Always trying to find the best in others. But not in him. with him never again.

There were many things which stood between them. A lot of past mistakes. But they never lied. They never hid. They never threatened. She was one of the rare people he could talk to. He didn’t stop his progress through the forest. And she didn’t make a mistake standing in front of him. She simply started walking next to him. Drowning in the silence of the forest until the moment came for her to speak. Until the truth can not be hidden any longer.

-She is a daughter of her mother. It could not be hidden.-her voice had a melody to it. It fitted perfectly in the coldness and whiteness of the winter. He knew what she was trying to tell him. And she was right.

-I saw her.-he refused to call her name. He never did that. And he never will. It was the only confirmation he was ready to say. Warm almond eyes looked at him. But he was ignorant of their pleas a long time ago. She should know better than that. -She doesn’t want to come with us. She didn’t want to leave her family.-he answered all her questions. Victoria nodded her head. She saw the child they spoke of. She saw it a long time ago but she dared to return each year to see it again. She was close to Alexandra. They shared feelings and memories. Hopes and desires. She felt the same loyalty to the child she never knew. Loyalty which she always felt to her mother. Loyalty which Araphel, her leader, was never able to understand. And he blamed her for her silence. He blamed her for not raising her voice when Boris started his conspiracy. He blamed her for not betraying the loyalty of her friend and reported the feelings which slowly but surely started to rule Alexandra's life.

He blamed her because it was too late to stop it. Because he understood that some things you can't stop with swords and threats. And this time the past came back to give him that lesson again.

-Maybe the way in which you have offered.-she let her thoughts rule the air. Araphel looked at her. They both knew he had no feeling for talking to a child. He had a way to tell the bad news. He was bad news.

-I told her the truth. It is the only thing that matters. And she couldn’t bear it. If she can't bear a life without a father and brother. How can she survive a life with us?-he asked. Victoria listened to his objections. He was a warrior of action. He didn’t react well to rejection.

-Rumors have started to spread. Soon our world will know that she is part of us. How long will she survive after that? She was in danger already.-she had to remind him. Araphel's eyes wondered about the forest. He stopped and turned to her. She noticed snowflakes dying. Falling to the ground and being gone slowly. It will happen to the child also. And he felt it bothered him. If he doesn’t do anything, she will finish as this early snow. But there was so little that he could do.

-Her father doesn’t have trust in me. He will never tell me the truth.-he said. Victoria heard hope in those words. He was thinking after all. He was thinking about what he could do. Does he want to save her? She was ready for everything to save Alexandras child. -Boris would do what was best for him. It was always like that-she knew him that much. Araphel just nodded his head. He knew it better than her.

He came back to the past when he stood in front of the proud warrior who, a long time ago, was named Alexandra. He was confused even now about how little of her he could find in that child they spoke of. Alexandra was different. Never so serious. Never dressed in sorrow. Always with a smile in her eyes. Always so sure she was better than anyone else. Always expecting that the best gifts would be offered only to her and nobody else. Because she was pretty. She was smart, read, she knew how to act in each situation. She was a warrior who could lead ten different conversations at the same time. She could convince you that day was night, the sun, the moon and hundreds of different lies if you spent enough time close to her. She was a person you could not oppose. When you find yourself close to her, you will never want to leave because being close to her can not be compared to anything else. Everything else was gray, dark and hopeless.

And he hoped in vain her arrogance would be gone. He waited for her to grow into a real warrior who would value the real purpose of her life. She could admire art, life and nature around them and not only use it to raise herself. He patiently witnessed her conspiracies. He silently listened to her demands to friends and all other warriors who admired her. He thought there was time. She could still change for the better. She could become what she had in her. But there was no darkness in her. No matter whether she dressed in dark colors and walked the world of shadows, everyone would eventually see how great her pretend was. Darkness could not be imagined if it wasn’t there. Darkness was a part of a warrior and nothing could compare with a look and words which came from an ancient place more powerful than time itself.

As a leader he saw things like that happening hundreds of times. There was nothing wrong with them. They didn’t do anything wrong. They were not responsible for the lack of fate. With time, he started to believe that darkness chose who she would follow. Darkness chooses hearts which can resist fear. And there was one great fear which Alexandra could not resist. One great fear which she let rule her life. She was scared of being refused. Because she always wanted the best, she was scared it would not be enough. She knew how little darkness she had in her. She felt that was making her different than other members of the family. And as time went by she realized some things would never be hers. She realized that the most powerful position with the strongest warrior is not that it would not be hers. She was not even close to being chosen for it. And that raised her fear to the sky. And when we are scared enough, we become desperate enough to do anything to make the fear go away.

Instead of being happy with the position she already had. Instead of enjoying being a member of a family of darkness which wondered the world of shadows, Alexandra could not be the queen there. So she looked for another kingdom. She looked for a family which would not expect her darkness she never had. Which will never look more than a fake smile. She looked for people who would never stop admiring her. And he could see her all over again. Standing before him. And the arrogance in the brown eyes. That smile full of contempt on her face. She came to tell him she was leaving for a much better place. She came to inform her leader she was leaving his home and never to come back to it.

A part of her maybe hoped he would try to talk her out of it. A part of her may have already enjoyed the fact this was the first time she refused to follow his orders. And that is why she didn’t want to talk to him in private. She wanted others to witness it. To see how she, Alexandra had enough courage to refuse a leader. To see how she was still the best of them living under her own rules and nobody could stop her. And he remembered looking at her silently. Standing in a dark blue dress. Her hair the color of mahogany. Decorated with diamonds and pearls. And he knew the person those decorations were coming from. He stood up slowly in his grand hall. Her voice was perfectly clear to him.

-With your blessing, my leader. I intend to leave this home.-she said it loud enough for everyone to hear. Even her head was bowed there was no humility in her. She challenged him. And in his heart, he knew all this started a long time ago. Many of them like her waited to see which one would be chosen to spend their eternity with him. But he told them they were waiting in vain. Such person was not in this world. He tells them that his heart is not in his chest but it is waiting in a hidden place where nothing can be found. So they were waiting for something which would never come to them. She was one of them. And even others didn’t find themselves hurt or offended as she did. Even though the others continued with their lives, she felt as though her own life had ended. Who had more right to stand next to him but her? Who was prettier, better or more perfect than her? Which warrior could carry all the cruelty of their world than her? She alone had the right to carry such power. So show herself as his. To look as they all bow in front of her eyes. She told him all that while he was looking into her eyes.

It had all started right then. And this is how it has ended. She didn’t give him a choice. He stood in front of her. And the emerald eyes kept looking at hers. He had time to get to know her thoughts. And when she hoped there was something in those eyes. When her heart started beating faster in the hope that he would stop her. When a smile appeared on her face because she was expecting him to say how wrong he was and to ask her forgiveness. So, when he finally disappointedly waved his head, her entire world crumbled. There was no mercy in those emerald eyes. You did this to yourself. You punished yourself. As if they were telling her. He turned his back to her as if she was never there. She was gone. And they all followed him. She decided to leave them. So, she was never part of them and they will never again be part of her.

-You have an hour to leave this home. After that we will show you no mercy.-he judged her without any hesitation. She looked around in vain, knowing she was losing. Searching for a gesture of comfort or a word of friendship. But there was none for her. Alexandra was no more.

-What are you going to do?-Victoria brought him back from the dungeon of his memories. He breathed the smell of forest and snow. What was that child to him? Why would he defend it? But he didn’t know the answer. It took just one look at those dark eyes and he knew he would never be able to forget them. They had so much darkness. So much loneliness and sorrow. His heart finally found its owner. All it took was a child like her.

-I will talk to her.-he decided. Victora was confused.

-Didn’t you do that last time?-she reminded him. He waived his head.

-Last time I threatened. But this time I know better. I would win this child using darkness.-he was confident.