The Painter's First Hello

I'm facing the man who taught me to live again, yet this time, I could only feel dejection. I shook my head hopelessly, giving him the signs that I didn't accept his words. I hugged his thighs to beg over and over again. I cried more and more and I felt the tears slowly becoming cold, piercing into my awful face and my lost eyes. I was crying like I had never cried in my whole life. I want to see his face. I want to caress his handsome and hard features. I wanted to stare at his deep ocean eyes again, but it seemed like I wouldn't be able to feel that sensation again. I want to ask for more opportunities and time to prevent him from leaving, but it looks like I can't do it anymore. "Why? What did I do? What about the promises you made? You said I was your life. You said you would never abandon and hurt me. What happened to your promises and to all the things we've done in every place in Paris? What about the hot kisses, the warm cuddles, the tight hold you always express and give to me? Ash Gray, I don't think I can be the same person again. I can't live without you. You know what happened to me, so please just stay. Please don't ruin my trust." I sobbed ponderously while hugging tightly his stout legs. I was stunned and felt dispirited, causing me to lose an inch of hope. I managed to protect myself when he forcibly released my trembling body on his sturdy legs. I bowed my head in shock and couldn't believe that he would do it. I smiled painfully and cried in bitterness when I realized that he would no longer stay. I want to laugh because he's right. I am stupid to believe that someone would love me dearly. Even the man I thought to be my strength will leave me in the end. I'm this pathetic to beg for someone's love because heaven has already cursed me for having an unfortunate life since I was a kid. "Still won't believe me, Maryam?" He asked and smirked. His smile was grim. "Pardon me, but I'm trying to make it up with you. That kiss was just a f*****g one last goodbye because we won't see each other again for real. I lied to you the whole time. Avalone is the woman I have loved ever since and you also knew it, but you're dumb to believe that you can replace her. I think you will understand my words now. Please, Maryam Amira, stop chasing me if you still have the shame of yourself. You're just making me think you're in great need of attention. Look at yourself, now I'm almost regretting meeting a woman like you." Ash Gray did ruin my trust and my hope. In the end, he still left and didn't even mind looking at me for the last drop of the rain. You will never understand me, Ash Gray, why I'm really determined to prevent you from leaving. I have big secrets and reasons. I'm just waiting for your decision to change your mind but you didn't. I hope you won't regret what you did if one day I'm gone.