The Perfect Union

Aliyah’s POV I looked up from where I lay on my bed, just enough to see the digital clock telling me it had been 20 minutes since I had come upstairs. I sighed, 5.20pm meaning I had exactly 10 minutes to get ready before they arrived. I'm so stupid....I thought to myself. Why had I agreed to this in the first place? It had been nearly 2 years since somebody had come to my house to ask for my hand in marriage. Two peaceful years of not having to deal with the stupid questions. Oh so Aliyah is your oldest daughter? Wasn’t she engaged to someone a few years back? What happened, why did u break the engagement off... Two years of not disappointing my parents with my refusal. Stop being stupid....I told myself. I knew the reason why i had agreed to this meeting. When this proposal had initially come, I was scared....really scared, but the first thing I did was pray. I had left everything to Allah SWT and now I couldn’t refuse the signs, I had to give it a chance. Either way, it was too late. They were on their way and I couldn’t do anything to stop it. And if I was really honest I no longer wanted to. There were too many people who would be affected by the repercussions of my refusal so I stopped myself being selfish and got off my bed to get ready. 20 minutes later I was just putting the final touches to my makeup thinking it was too much and maybe I should just take it off, when I heard footsteps on the stairs. Today the atmosphere in the house was really weird. It was too too quiet. Everyone was waiting anxiously for this meeting but were trying to tone down their true feelings just in case I threw a wobbly and cancelled everything. My mum had been running around for the last few days making sure everything was perfect. She was one of the main reasons I had agreed to today. I was tired of seeing that sad look in her eyes whenever she looked at me or when somebody asked about my marriage. It wasnt her fault. She hadn't expected her older daughter to be unmarried at 26, when her middle daughter was already married with kids and the youngest had just gotten engaged. She was the one who had to answer all the stupid questions from the random aunties whilst trying to protect me from the rumours and stories. Even my sisters were keeping out of my way. Don’t get me wrong we were close but we had never had that best friend/sister type relationship. Since I had started wearing hijab they weren’t very happy. Not that they had a problem with me practising they just kept telling me that they wanted the old Aliyah back. The fun, bubbly, happy go lucky Aliyah. But that Aliyah was buried deep down inside somewhere. And there was no way I was going to bring her back. No way i was going to make myself vulnerable again. I heard a knock on the door, pulling me out of my dark thoughts. 'Come in' I said expecting my mum or one of my sisters but was very shocked to see it was my brother Haider. He looked at me, eyes full of surprise and I gave him a smile and asked 'too much make up isn’t it' as I reached over to get some make up wipes. 'No Mashah Allah you look so beautiful, I’m just surprised, it’s been a long time since I've seen you wear any other colour but black' he said trying to keep the seriousness out of he's voice. ‘I know, I wanted to wear something else but mum has convinced me to wear this. At least its baby pink and a lot better than the bright blue outfit Sam and Rabs wanted me to wear. Plus I have got so many clothes that I never wear and it’s such a waste' I told him trying to keep the conversation light. 'You sure you are ok?? I mean if you're not just say it. Its fine I will talk to mum. I don’t want you to feel pressurised into doing something you don’t want to' Haider said looking at me still standing in the doorway. 'Come on Haider you think Im just doing this for mum?? I am but I want to do this for myself too. How long will I just sit here and let my past affect my future. I have put all my trust in Allah SWT and Inshah Allah if this is meant to be for me it will. Just pray for me' I told him with a smile on my face to try and reassure him when really I was close to breaking point inside. He still looked unconvinced as he said 'Anyway I was sent upstairs to call you down. Aunty Shama just phoned to say they are 5 minutes away' 'Great let’s go down. It’s nearly time to face the music I guess' I said just checking myself in the mirror one last time. As I reached the door I could still see the look of worry on Haider so I gave him a quick hug and told him 'please don’t worry' and he gave me a quick kiss on my forehead saying 'Ok'. Just as we were making our way down, the doorbell rang.