Caught between husbands

"Please be careful love I don't want you getting hurt or stressed out. If you need me all you have to do is call me and I'll be there. " says a deep voice as the man leans down to kiss my forehead and lightly peck my lips. Who is this man?I feel like I know him but why can't I see his face. He links our foreheads together for a few seconds before pulling back and lightly pushing me out .I stare at him confused . "Go have fun" is all he says . "Huh?"what is he talking about? "You and your friends decided to go on an impromptu trip remember?" No sir I don't.However,I don't tell him that. I begin to walk out without knowing where I'm headed. Just as I'm about to walk out the man calls me back, "I love you with all my heart, Amanda" he says softly. Wait that's not my name. Oh well whatever. I turn back and give him a sweet smile he seems like a nice guy, "I know". How did I easily say that without even thinking. It's like I'm living a memory I can't fully comprehend. I leave as I hear his gentle laugh echo in his office. Three girls are in the car with me as I drive us to wherever it is we're going, chatting away like we've known each other for years. There's laughter and fighting among two girls and me and the other girl are staring at them amused. I turn up the music on the radio and all of us are singing our hearts out. This feels so natural to me it's like I'm home. I'm too engrossed in the music that I fail to see the car charging at us. It's clearly in the wrong lane but I don't get enough time to assess the situation and get a possible solution. In my haste to escape it I lose control and before I know it the car is rolling down the mountain. I jolt out of bed sweating profusely. I've been having this dream for close to a year now but it has never gotten this far. Jay stirs in bed and turns towards me. "Had another nightmare?" Jay asks softly. "Yeah" I whisper. I don't know why but this particular dream was different. It felt like it was real, like I was a part of that world. In that world I had friends and I felt like I belonged. Don't get me wrong I do love my husband and the life we have now but it has always felt like something was missing. Jay and I lived a bit deep into the forest on the mountain side. In this part of the country there's little to no civilization and that automatically meant I had no friends or family. I once asked Jay why I didn't have any friends and voiced out my dislike for this secluded area and he was not pleased to say the least. He went on about how I was the one who suggested we move here because the city had grown too noisy and all my friends were in the city. He had earlier explained that I had gotten a brain tumor four years ago and after the surgery part of my memory was gone and so I couldn't remember my parents had passed away a year prior . He got so mad that day after I asked why my friends never called and why I still couldn't remember anything saying that I always doubted what he told me and how I never trusted him enough. I dared not ask more questions since then. But right at this moment all I have are questions. They cloud my mind and I can feel them at the tip of my tongue. At that moment something in me snapped like reality had been thrown right at me. What the hell was that dream?Was it even a dream to begin with?How well do I even know my life or this man who claims to know my life more than me. All I have is his word of mouth and a doctor who comes in once a month to check up on me after my alleged tumor. I turn to face Jay and at that moment I realized I don't know him as much as I say I do. As a matter of fact,I don't know this man at all.