Hate & love

003

"Thanks!" he says, looking me straight in the face. Never has a man looked at me as intensely as he is doing right now and I call this scrutiny the Annie Mini scrutiny. But just watch without speaking to me. Hmmm! I don't find it that special now.

– if you don’t just want to watch, but also like to talk, I would be happy –

I can see him up close too. A big hunk of a man with wild hair. His personality is the first thing that strikes me about him. Which sparks a certain interest in me. I realize in disbelief that I find him attractive, even if he comes across as a bit rough.

Thank god my sunglasses are still covering my eyes. I can still withstand his imperious scanner gaze.

How is he standing there?

Still waiting beside the car, leaning on the roof of the car with your arm bent.

I turn around, apparently bored. Put my Cappy in the backpack and a few seconds later I feel the airflow of a movement. He dances around me and I hold my breath in anticipation. Wait and see what's going to happen now.

He came to a standstill behind me and I can't even tell you how emotional chaos is raging inside me.

"Oh my!" he chokes out. "You burned yourself."

Unable to reply, I just blink a few times nervously.

"My name is Gaard, by the way. Welcome to Dithmarschen, North Sealand.”

I stand there stock still. But then I turn to him and he gives me a sympathetic smile. Of course I blush a bit. I look at him confused. See every pore of his skin, every black lash on his eyelid and beautiful green eyes. You have a very special color I noticed only now. Such a very, very deep green. As is very seldom seen.

What is he thinking about right now? He stretches out his right hand, which he presses with fervor.

I return Gaard's firm handshake and suddenly feel really embarrassed. Take a deep breath, taking the other hand off my aroused face.

"Don't let my brother provoke you," Mina advises me precociously.

"I didn't do anything!"

She raises an eyebrow. smiles smugly.

Here, look how pretty this is, Annie!” I turn to her and look at the new slim phone in her hand. "Beautiful or?"

"Yes, show me." I stare at her display. Wren Boys is standing there.

"Yes, but... what is that???"

"Oh wait!" She fiddles with the part. Now I'm staring at a high-quality photo. What is she knitting now?

"Wow, great again what you needled there." I'm anything but a knitting pro myself, but to each his own.

"Pretty!" Gaard grumbles between them. "And when it's done, what will it be?"

"My triangular shawl. Do you want one too?”

"Why not." Her cell phone rings. I get in the car. Throw my backpack on the seat.

Mina puts the thing to her ear. "You're crazy! Please answer me a question. How did you even get the idea that a mouse can drink alcohol? We'll keep chatting later. OK!"

It sounds strange what she's saying.

"Everything okay?" I ask curiously.

she nods. Snaps her fingers to get her brother's attention. "That was Susan. When are we going to leave," she whines. "Are we going now?"

"It doesn't even come in the bag. I still want to take care of the bikes.”

If the car rattles or squeaks, you should listen more closely. I turn my head in the direction of the noise. I look spellbound through the rear window.

I see him. I see Gaard.

"Oh god," I wail. The lashing straps on the bike rack are attached. Aha! That's something. The bikes can be hung up or taken down as you wish, without much fuss. Mounting them on the roof is definitely more fiddling.

He gives me a personal smile. I feel a deep relaxation, and the relaxation deepens as the noise gets louder and more disruptive.

The car got really hot in the sun. What felt like 80° hit me right in the face. Is it normal for the seat to get so warm that your a*s is glowing? With a supremely dissatisfied face, the corners of my mouth turned down, I buckle myself in and check that the belt isn't too hot.

I smile and watch Gaard as he heaves his body weight into the driver's seat.

The brief raising of my eyebrows at the sight of my father makes me sigh and scratch my head.

"How are you?"

He looks straight at me, looks me straight in the eyes.

"Pathetic! Please do not ask."

Oh oh! I raise my head. I can see his tortured face and the gray stubble all over his chin.

"Are you in severe pain?"

He sighs. Presses himself against the backrest, breathing heavily. “The left shoulder hurts like hell too. Not to mention the neck. I feel like I've aged a few years."

"Would you like a pill?"

"No!"

"Where did the car keys go?" Gaard lets his eyes wander around the car and runs his fingers through his hair in frustration. His dark brown wavy hair is now striving in all directions and he tries to tame them with his hands. The dashboard is ransacked. Nothing!

I look at him the whole time and he doesn't notice anything. Then he first looks in the left trouser pocket, not forgetting the right one. But none. "Where did the damn key go?" he curses. The question mark is literally written all over his face.

"If I'm not mistaken, you put it in the glove compartment."

"All right, give it to me!" With a quick movement she lets it flutter in front of his nose and sinks into his hand. Are you okay?” she asks us as Gaard starts the car and settles into a comfortable position. The roar of the engine shatters the silence, drowning out my answer.

Have a good trip then!

I'm surprised how loud the motor is. Reminds me of my dad's old truck. Not really fast, but sufficient. The silver Vito glides right down the street toward the traffic, shortly after changing lanes to continue on the main road. Mina lights a cigarette, tilts her head back and blows the smoke into the air. The interior of the car is now full of smoke from her cigarettes.

“Well, no smokers come into my car. Even if he doesn't smoke there," my father whispers to me. “No stink and no cough. Smokers stay smokers!”

Gaard's head jerks to one side. "For heaven's sake. Open the window and wait for the smoke to clear.”

While MIna ignores the next accusatory tirade, she closes the side window a little and skillfully avoids her brother's critical gaze in order to suck on the stalk again.

We've been on the road for a few minutes now and I let the wind blow through my hair in silence. Give my attention to the lane. We drive past a construction site. The vile barriers block my view of a freshly created natural idyll. How boring. My nostrils flare up. I let my eyes wander around the car, looking for something that looks nice.

The maybe? Perfect, I grin and stare at Gaard's broad back.

He drives on slowly, his eyes twinkling mischievously in the rearview mirror.

charm bolt!

Unsure, I sink deeper into my seat and look out the window again. The flow of traffic on the main street is steady and we pass shops and small cozy cafes. A beautiful tranquil setting.

"How much longer do we need?" Mina asks her brother. He glances at the clock on the dashboard and puts a piece of chewing gum in his mouth.

"We should hurry. Otherwise we'll just wait ages at the doctor's," he murmurs into the oppressive silence and gives us a taste of his driving skills. He runs two red lights. Overtake at breakneck speed, ignoring angry honks to move faster.

"I hate pushers who are almost on the back of your neck and risky overtaking," Mina snaps. "Just for your information, this..here..is..not..persecuted." His male voice mumbles from the off.

"Rather? Why can't anyone drive properly anymore?” Gaard suddenly scolds. We are behind a sneak. "That's for... The car skids around the next corner. He shows us an ice-cold, emotionless face "It pisses me off so much. Get out of the way goon.” He shows what he thinks with hand signals and looks like he's about to bite the steering wheel. The car shoots up a driveway attached to the main building of a medical complex at an alarming speed and we are pushed back into our seats as my fists grind together. I'm not in the mood to laugh. Stunned, I stare up at the roof of the car and briefly roll my eyes. I have preferred this job for a long time. It is incomprehensible to me how such an unpredictable leisure time can hide behind such a good-looking facade. Thought the Northern Lights around are better drivers. I'm trying to gather all my courage. I know what I'm about to say. At least that's my plan. But I can feel my guts vanishing into thin air.

"Everything full, no parking space in sight," he hisses angrily. "I get upset about it every time I'm looking for a place for my car."

"Now don't be so girly," Mina teases her brother. In the corner of my eye I see a car leaving the parking lot on the right and so we find a suitable parking space and the car comes to a standstill with a dull noise.

"Damn it!" Gaard's voice cracks with irritation. I see his body push forward quite a bit. Slow. Inch by inch and he tugs at the door handle, but the car door won't open.

"What could be the reason for that again?" He tries again.

"No chance. Zero. Why?” he growls angrily, and a steep crease appears on his handsome face. His hard-won patience is probably starting to crumble?

"I'm slowly getting tired of the stupid car," he grumbles grumpily. As he bends down, the tip of his nose almost touches the window. I'm watching him closely. smiling. His chest heaves violently and his expression darkens. "Come on you b***h!" With a violent shoulder shove, Gaard slams into the door.

Mina turns to him with mock concern. "Hmm!" she says.

"Would you like to tell me something?" he asks his sister.

"Maybe!"

"You can't imagine how angry I am," he snorts in a murderous voice and something twitches in his face. Mina slowly opens her door, jumps out of the car and tries from the outside, but even that doesn't work anymore.

"I say the door won't open anymore."

"Gaard, just a quick piece of advice: the lock is probably broken and you'll have to remove the paneling inside," my father pestered him decisively.

"No way." Resigned, Gaard gets out on the passenger side.

Men are a species unto themselves. That's what I'm thinking as he opens the sliding door on my side until it's fully open.

"We have to get your father out of the car carefully," Gaard informs me. "And I need your help with that, Annie!" I nod and look over at him as I take off my slippers and put my feet on the seat.

"OK! We try it. Eighteen, nineteen,” I hum under my breath.

"Come on!" Gaard yells.

"Watch out dad! Twenty attacks.” Then I kick my heels into his lower back with full force and throw him into Gaard's arms with a single swing. My father stares at me with big blue eyes.

"What shoud that? Now I have excruciating back pain. I'm not a doormat that you can trample on,” he complains, rubbing the painful area. I look quite contrite, probably rightly so, because Mina's eyes also take on warning traits when she gets out.

"Are you okay?" she asks my dad without taking her eyes off me. He nods tormented. "It'll be fine," I call out to him and slip on my slippers.

"Let's go!" screams Mina and taps her forehead with two fingers. "Don't you want to get out too, Annie?"

"I'll be right there." So, so. So I have the honor of being the last to get out of the Vito. I quickly grab my backpack, get out of the car and shield my eyes from the sunlight with my hand.

From the parking lot we go down a flight of stairs to the medical complex. Strange is there no elevator here? I'm watching Gaard. Yet again. Beads of sweat run down his face. Left a mark on his skin and his brow furrows as he wipes his face with his sleeve. When he takes my father to the swinging doors, Mina cheekily says: "It won't hurt him if he sweats a bit." Phew, that's hot!...

"I'm sweating, who else?" I ask boldly. "What can you actually do about it? Anyone have any ideas? Suggestions?"

"Drink a lot, that's nothing new," my father grumbles and gives me a dirty look. Oh, what a wicked wicked question.

"Ice tea is the coolest. I love ice tea,” Mina replies.

"I know," I say, smiling.

"And I love my new ice tea bottle," Mina tells us. "I'll show them to you quickly."

"What do you think of them?" A red drinking bottle is in her right hand.

"Ugly!" Gaard hisses without looking up as they now make their way through the swinging doors. My dear swan! I see her rushing towards me.

"Just watch out," Mina screeches. The door swings shut just as you go through it.”

With his torso Gaard leaning across the table in the lobby, his face is less than four inches from the woman who works there. Sweet smell of perfume fills my nostrils. ugh! I'm not a fan of fancy, floral perfumes. She giggles and covers her mouth like a child. But then, unexpectedly, he turns to me.

"Selina will take care of your father in a moment, Gaard encourages me."

Selina? How naturally the name comes from his lips. I still can't tear my eyes away from them and blink a few times. My father now pays the practice fee of ten euros and hands in his health card.

"Let's go right away," she tells him kindly. After a few minutes she prepares my dad for the examination and explains what the doctor will do. He listens to her unmoved.

I stand in the corridor and watch. I have to stay here like this. I can't go now. Selina takes a close look at his thigh, moves it slightly and treats some light cuts with a disinfectant. When she is about to put an ointment on him, a distorted voice comes out of the loudspeaker and the door to the treatment room opens. A small, balding, elderly man suddenly stretched out his hand to my father and then the two of them disappeared.

Curious, I look around and look for the common area - and if there might be a coffee machine and bottles of water...

Yes, there he is! I open the door. The air in the room is stuffy and muggy.

"Day too," I say. Come in, sit in one of the empty chairs and stare at a wall tattoo of a cute owl family. That looks super nice. Two men are sitting in front of it.

"I'm sorry," says one man haltingly to the other.

"Thanks Phill!" He shakes Phill's hand, then stands and I can hear his fingers cracking.

"Believe me, I'm still really pissed off. Over an hour of waiting, then half a waiting room, then a quarter of a waiting chair,” he scolds. The man is completely beside himself. I watch them both as they leave the waiting room. My question now: Why wait? It's not packed.

I lean forward, look at my long legs and run my fingers over them. Suddenly the door is thrown wide open. Selina sticks her head in the door.

"Please come with me to the treatment room. The doctor wants to talk to you too,” she informs me. The doctor wants to speak to me. What does that mean? This means that he would like to explain the test results to me. And what came out of it doesn't have to be tragic. I'm still super nervous, shaky and agitated. My heart is pounding with excitement and my breathing quickens.

As I entered the treatment room, I almost fell over because there is another small step behind the door. I look at my father and notice that my hands are shaking too. He lies shocked on a couch and follows my every movement with his head. His face is distorted and his eyes lack any spark of human life.

"Sit down," the doctor asks me. I sit down.

"Your father has to go to the hospital," he tells me bluntly. I feel like someone has injected me with a cocktail of narcotics and it took me a few seconds to recover from the shock.

"To the hospital?" I ask in disbelief. I tap my chest with my fingers in horror.

No!!!... But not in the most beautiful weeks of the year.

"Oh no!!"

I tense up when the phone rings and watch the doctor make a call.

"Yes, fractured upper neck." Then he eavesdrops into the receiver...

I suspect he's talking to the hospital. "Yes, a week in the name of Mark Woder." I roll my head around to relax the muscles in my neck a little.

"You're lucky, there's still a room available," says the doctor in our direction. Should I call a taxi?”

My gaze wanders back to my father. He nods.

"What are we going to do now?" he wails worriedly while the doctor continues to call. I will try to get the best out of myself!!! Taking a deep breath and with more courage than I've ever mustered in my life, I say, "I'll stay with Mina for so long. Your grandparents certainly won't mind.” The truth is, I can already see myself running around with Mina. It's going to be great.

"Well, that can take a while," the doctor informs us. Then say goodbye and go outside.

My father is silent and there is an awkward silence. It lasts and lasts. But then...

"Annie, bring in that young man who was kind enough to drive us over here."

"Gaard! Why?” I ask my father suspiciously and look at him. His facial expression is frighteningly serious.

"Someone has to watch over you while I'm stuck here." My head is spinning. Somehow I feel, I don't know, fooled. It's his fault we're stuck here. He can't possibly be serious. What a nightmare vacation!

"Don't you have a better idea?" He shakes his head and that's it

comes his battle word: "No!" He spits out that one word as if his life depended on it.

“And what about Christine and Frank. I've slept with both of them so many times.

"We're on vacation too. Sorry little one.”

"We could call her. Tine is my surrogate mother and my mother's best friend. She would never let me down. "We just have to call her, please?"

"Actually, I don't want that." I look at him dejectedly and hang my head.

"And grandma?"

"Well, I think the responsibility is too big, something could happen. She's not the youngest anymore and has enough on her own."

"Why, she's only 72?"

"She's a pensioner with constant stress in her free time and hasn't been around for a long time," he says, offended. You know that. We really have to call her after her.” That's true. I also find that very, very sad. When she gets older she will definitely need our help.

"Come on, Gaard isn't that bad after all. He actually makes a pretty good impression. It's only a matter of a few days."

I do not care. A good father doesn't do that. Isn't he the self-proclaimed best dad in the world?

"What do you mean? He looks at me questioningly and smiles weakly. "So?" I mean not really.

I don't want to be artificially upset, but I know exactly how much effort it takes my father. He is tormented at the thought of putting me in the care of another man.

"No! I won't get involved in that kind of thing," I hear myself say out loud, to my own surprise. The idea of what I would like deviates 100 percent from reality.

"Aha, and what do you think of as a reason?"

"I don't want a babysitter," I say, dissatisfied. I'm old enough and can manage on my own. When will he finally understand? All of this upsets me. Strands of hair hang over my eyes and the idea of what will happen to me in the next few days drives me crazy. Gaard by my side as minder. A foreign. I feel like I'm in a mousetrap. Angry, I take a small step towards my father and can hardly contain myself. I'm pretty sure once I'm gone, really gone, he'll go nuts, I know that. Well, maybe not as fast as my mother's. For years lives in constant concern for her. lives in memories Memories of my mother, whom he loves so much and whose whereabouts he doesn't know.

"I'm old enough to take care of myself." He's either ignoring my words or he hasn't heard them at all. I could howl, scream and let off steam somewhere. "Why do not you trust me? I let out a little scream in anger and leave the treatment room, kicking the door shut behind me.

"I can also contact the youth welfare office," I hear him call out. I beg your pardon? What a great sentence. I know my father will not tolerate weakness. Anyone who shows such feelings will be ruthlessly crushed. So I have to pull myself together. I shake my head with wide eyes. Life is mean and unfair.

"He's crazy!" I exhale in frustration, clench my fists until my knuckles turn white and angrily stomp a few steps toward Gaard.

I stand in the doorway of the waiting room, confused, because what I see now takes my breath away. He's talking to Selina again. This is not good! see me Look at me. Do something. But he doesn't do anything and I start to sulk. I can really sulk very persistently and for a long time. Smelly and silent, I give them both a sharp look. Hello! I'm not jealous. I'm desperate.

"Hello!" I say, making myself noticeable. Gaard reacts immediately, turning to me and looking straight into my blue eyes. Ah! Very well.

"So my dear Kokoschinski," I call out loud and clear and my voice rises at the end. He comes closer, closer and closer and his eyes take on a look of wonder.

"Now, don't look so grim," he bubbles. Come a few more steps closer until we face each other.

"Sorry, my pump is still gone," I reply, still fired.