Almost mine

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Wednesday arrived with a cold breeze and leaves scattered across the school entrance.

November was approaching, and the entire school seemed to be preparing for the change of season. Posters for the upcoming Culture Day activities had appeared along the hallways, and students were already discussing the art displays, performances, and exhibitions they hoped to visit during the holiday.

Normally, I would have been excited.

I liked autumn in Japan. The cool mornings, the warm drinks from vending machines, the colorful leaves around the school grounds. Everything seemed softer this time of year.

Unfortunately, my personal life had decided to remain a complete disaster.

I entered the classroom with Akari beside me.

"Good morning!" she greeted Yuto, who was busy trying to finish his mathematics homework before class.

He looked up.

"Good morning. Wait, Sakura, is this the new girl?"

Akari blinked.

I sighed.

"Yuto, she's been here since yesterday."

"I know, but I haven't officially introduced myself."

"You could have done that yesterday."

"I was busy."

"Doing what?"

"Important things."

Akari smiled politely. "I'm Akari Shimizu. Nice to meet you."

"Yuto," he replied, straightening his uniform jacket. "If you need help finding anything around school, ask me."

I stared at him.

"Really? You couldn't even tell me where the library was last week."

"That was a different situation."

"How?"

He opened his mouth, then closed it again.

Akari laughed.

I smiled at the sound.

It felt good to laugh about something that didn't involve my problems for once.

We settled into our seats, and Akari took out her notebook.

"Did you finish your part of the psychology assignment?" she asked.

"Almost. I wrote about peer pressure and how people sometimes make decisions because they don't want to disappoint someone."

She looked at me thoughtfully.

"That's actually a good example."

"Thank you. I suffered through mathematics to produce it."

She giggled.

I was about to say something else when I noticed Hina entering the classroom.

My smile faded.

She walked past our desks without looking at me. Her eyes briefly moved toward Akari, then toward the notebook we were sharing.

For a moment, I thought she might say something.

She didn't.

She simply sat down at another desk.

I lowered my gaze.

Akari noticed my change in expression.

"Are you okay?"

"Yes."

She studied me for a second.

"You don't look okay."

I gave her a small smile.

"I'm just tired."

She didn't question me further.

I was grateful for that.

Because the truth was, watching Hina sit somewhere else hurt more than I wanted to admit.

During lunch, Akari and I sat together beneath the trees near the courtyard.

She had brought a homemade bento, neatly arranged with rice, vegetables, and little pieces of rolled omelet. I had bought bread and a warm drink from the school shop.

"Your lunch looks delicious," I told her.

She looked down at it.

"My stepmother made it. She's been trying to help me adjust to everything."

"She sounds nice."

"She is."

Akari paused before adding, "She's been very patient with me."

I nodded.

"Moving to another country must have been difficult."

"It was. Sometimes I still feel like I'm living in someone else's life."

I looked at her.

"What do you mean?"

She played with her chopsticks for a moment.

"Everything changed so quickly. My home, my school, my routine. Even the people around me. I know my father wants us to be happy here, but sometimes I miss how things used to be."

I understood that feeling more than I expected.

Sometimes, you could miss a person who was still sitting in the same classroom as you.

Sometimes, the person was there, but the relationship had changed so much that you barely knew how to speak to them anymore.

"I think everyone misses something," I said quietly.

Akari looked at me.

"Someone, too?"

I looked down at my drink.

"Especially someone."

She didn't ask who.

Instead, she smiled gently.

"Well, I'm glad I met you, Sakura."

I looked at her in surprise.

"Why?"

"Because you made my first few days here less lonely."

For a moment, I didn't know how to respond.

Then I smiled.

"You're welcome."

Across the courtyard, Hina stood with two classmates.

I hadn't noticed her until she looked in our direction.

Her gaze lingered on Akari and me.

When our eyes met, she turned away.

My smile disappeared.

I wanted to go after her.

I wanted to explain that Akari wasn't replacing her, that I wasn't trying to forget her, that I still missed the girl who used to sit beside me and steal food from my bento without asking.

But I didn't know how to make her believe me.

And I was beginning to understand that saying sorry couldn't force someone to trust me again.

Thursday An Invitation

Thursday morning was colder than the previous day.

I arrived at school wearing a cardigan beneath my uniform jacket, my hands tucked into my pockets as I walked through the entrance.

Akari was waiting near the shoe lockers.

"Sakura!"

I looked up.

"Good morning."

She held up her phone.

"I found some information for our psychology assignment."

"Already?"

She nodded proudly.

"I researched how social pressure affects decision-making, and I found an example we could use in our presentation."

I stared at her.

"Akari, you might be the most responsible person I've ever met."

"Is that a compliment?"

"Absolutely. Please teach me your ways."

She laughed as we changed into our indoor shoes.

We headed toward the classroom together, discussing our assignment and the upcoming Culture Day holiday.

Our conversation felt natural now. We had already exchanged favorite foods, talked about our previous schools, and discovered that we both liked quiet cafés and bookstores.

I was starting to enjoy her company.

And apparently, someone else had noticed.

When we entered the classroom, Hina was standing beside her desk.

She looked at us, then at the notebook in Akari's hand.

"You two seem to be together all the time now."

Her voice was casual, but there was something sharp beneath it.

I stopped walking.

"What?"

Hina shrugged.

"Nothing. Just an observation."

Akari looked between us.

"I was helping Sakura with our assignment."

"I didn't ask."

The words came out more harshly than I expected.

Akari fell silent.

I stared at Hina.

"Hina, what's that supposed to mean?"

She looked at me.

"Nothing, Sakura. You don't have to explain yourself."

"Then why are you speaking to me like that?"

She laughed without any real humor.

"Like what?"

"Like I'm doing something wrong."

Her expression changed.

For a moment, I thought she might finally tell me what she was feeling.

Instead, she picked up her books.

"Forget it."

She walked away.

I stood there, my hands tightening around the strap of my schoolbag.

Akari touched my arm gently.

"Sakura..."

I forced myself to breathe.

"I'm sorry you had to hear that."

"You don't have to apologize to me."

I looked at her.

She gave me a small, reassuring smile.

"Let's just get through the day, okay?"

I nodded.

But even as I followed her to our desks, I couldn't stop thinking about Hina.

I missed her.

And I hated that my happiness with someone new seemed to be making the distance between us even wider.

The final lesson of the day ended with Sōma reminding us to complete our psychology assignments before the deadline.

As students began leaving, Akari approached my desk.

"Are we still meeting at your house tomorrow?"

I checked my phone.

"Yes. My mom said it's fine."

"Should I bring anything?"

"Your notebook. And maybe your appetite."

Akari laughed.

"Why my appetite?"

"Because my mom believes feeding guests is a sacred duty."

"Then I'll make sure not to disappoint her."

I smiled.

We exchanged a few more messages about the assignment before leaving the classroom.

As I walked toward the entrance, my phone vibrated.

A message from Ren.

Ren: Sakura, are you busy tomorrow afternoon?

I stopped in the hallway.

Ren?

We hadn't spoken properly since my birthday.

I stared at the message for a few seconds before replying.

Me: Why?

His response came almost immediately.

Ren: I wanted to see you.

My stomach tightened.

I read the message again.

Then again.

It was only four words.

Four ordinary words.

So why did they make my heart behave as though I had just run up five flights of stairs?

I typed a reply.

Deleted it.

Typed another.

Finally, I settled on:

Me: I might be busy. What's going on?

The typing indicator appeared.

Ren: I'll explain tomorrow.

I stared at the screen.

"That's helpful," I muttered.

Then another message arrived.

Ren: And Sakura?

Me: What?

Ren: Don't forget to eat breakfast.

I froze.

I remembered those words.

Ren had always said things like that. Little reminders. Small gestures. Things that seemed ordinary until you realized he remembered details about you that other people overlooked.

I put my phone away.

My heart felt strangely heavy.

I wasn't ready to think about Ren.

Not after the kiss.

Not after Hina.

And definitely not when I still didn't understand what I wanted.

Friday — Flowers at the Door

Friday was the last school day before the long Culture Day weekend.

By the time I got home, the sky was beginning to turn orange, and the neighborhood smelled faintly of roasted sweet potatoes from a nearby street vendor.

Mom was in the kitchen preparing dinner.

"You're home!"

"I'm home."

I slipped off my shoes and placed my schoolbag beside the entrance.

Mom appeared in the hallway, wiping her hands on a towel.

"How was school?"

"Fine."

She raised an eyebrow.

"Just fine?"

I sighed.

"Why does everyone keep asking me that?"

"Because you keep giving us answers that sound like they belong in a weather report."

I laughed despite myself.

"School was okay. Akari is coming over tomorrow so we can finish our psychology assignment."

"Akari?"

"My new classmate."

"Oh! That's lovely. I'll prepare something for her."

"Mom, please don't cook enough food for the entire neighborhood."

"No promises."

Before I could protest, the doorbell rang.

Mom looked toward the entrance.

"Are you expecting someone?"

I shook my head.

She went to answer the door.

I heard a familiar voice.

"Good evening, Fujimoto-san."

My eyes widened.

No.

Absolutely not.

I hurried into the hallway just as Mom stepped aside.

Ren Takahashi stood at our entrance.

He was wearing a dark jacket over his school uniform, and in his hands was a small bouquet of flowers wrapped in pale paper.

Then Ren looked at me.

"Hi, Sakura."

I stared at the flowers.

Then at him.

Then back at the flowers.

"What are you doing here?"

He looked almost nervous.

"Is that how you're going to greet me?"

"You're standing at my front door with flowers! What am I supposed to say?"

Mom glanced between us, clearly trying not to smile.

Ren held out the bouquet.

"Happy Culture Day weekend."

I blinked.

"That's not a thing people usually bring flowers for."

"I know."

"Then why—"

"Because I wanted to bring you something."

His voice softened.

"And because I thought you might like them."

I looked at the bouquet.

The flowers were delicate shades of pink and white, tied together with a simple ribbon.

They were beautiful.

Annoyingly beautiful.

I accepted them slowly.

"Thank you."

Ren smiled.

"You're welcome."

Mom cleared her throat.

"Ren, would you like to come inside?"

I turned toward her.

"Mom!"

"What? He's standing outside in the cold."

Ren bowed politely.

"Thank you. I won't stay long."

Mom led him into the living room while I hurried to find a vase for the flowers.

As I arranged them, I could feel my cheeks growing warm.

This was Ren.

My best friend.

The boy I had known for years.

The boy I had kissed during a stupid game.

The boy whose face I had been trying not to think about for an entire week.

And now he was sitting in my living room, drinking tea with my mother as though nothing had changed.

When I returned, Mom was asking him about school.

"How are your studies going?"

"All right, thank you."

"And your family?"

"They're doing well."

She smiled.

"That's good. You should visit more often."

I nearly dropped the vase.

"Mom!"

Ren laughed quietly.

"I'd like that."

I stared at him.

He looked perfectly calm.

I was beginning to suspect he enjoyed making my life difficult.

After Mom returned to the kitchen, Ren and I sat across from each other in the living room.

The bouquet stood on the table between us.

Then Ren looked at me.

"Have you been avoiding me?"

I immediately looked away.

"No."

"Sakura."

"What?"

"You've barely spoken to me since your birthday."

I picked at the edge of my sleeve.

"I've been busy."

"With what?"

"School."

"And?"

I glared at him.

"Do you want my weekly schedule?"

He smiled a little.

"Only if it explains why you won't look at me."

I fell silent.

The room suddenly felt too warm.

Ren leaned forward slightly.

"Did I do something wrong?"

My heart twisted.

"No."

"Then what is it?"

I wanted to tell him.

I wanted to ask why he had kissed me back, why he had looked at me that night as though the dare had meant something to him, and why he was bringing me flowers now.

Instead, I looked down at my hands.

"I don't know, Ren."

His expression softened.

"Okay."

I looked up.

"Okay?"

He nodded.

"You don't have to explain everything right now."

For some reason, that made me feel worse.

Because he wasn't angry.

He wasn't demanding an answer.

He was simply sitting there, being Ren.

The same Ren who had always made room for me, even when I didn't know what to say.

He glanced toward the flowers.

"I remembered you liked those."

I looked at the bouquet.

"You remembered?"

"Of course."

My throat tightened.

I remembered telling him about my favorite flowers years ago, during an ordinary afternoon when we'd been walking home from school.

I hadn't thought he would remember something so small.

Apparently, I had been wrong.

Ren checked the time and stood.

"I should go. My family is expecting me for dinner."

I stood, too.

"Oh. Right."

He walked toward the entrance, then paused.

"Happy Culture Day weekend, Sakura."

I smiled faintly.

"Thank you for the flowers."

He nodded.

"And try to get some rest, okay?"

There it was again.

That familiar concern.

That little reminder.

The kind of thing Ren had always done without expecting anything in return.

I watched him leave.

Then I closed the door and leaned against it.

My heart was beating far too quickly.

From the kitchen, Mom called, "Sakura? Are you all right?"

I closed my eyes.

"No!"

She laughed.

I pressed both hands against my face.

Because I was beginning to realize something terrifying.

The kiss hadn't created all these feelings.

It had simply made it harder to pretend they weren't there.m

A Friday Evening at Home

Dinner was almost ready when I heard Dad's key turning in the front door.

I looked up from the living room.

For once, I was still awake when he came home.

He stepped inside, loosened his tie, and looked surprised to see me waiting.

"Sakura?"

"Hi, Dad."

He smiled.

"You're home early."

"I live here."

He laughed.

"Very funny."

Mom called from the kitchen, asking him to wash his hands before dinner.

While he disappeared down the hallway, I watched the flowers Ren had brought me.

Dad returned a moment later and noticed them.

"Those are beautiful."

I immediately became interested in the television.

"They're just flowers."

"From a friend?"

I hesitated.

"Yes."

He nodded.

"That's nice."

Then he sat beside me.

For a moment, we watched the television in silence.

I realized how strange it felt to sit beside my father without rushing somewhere else.

Usually, he was leaving when I was waking up, or arriving home when I was already asleep.

We loved each other, but somehow, our schedules had made us strangers in small ways.

"How was school this week?" he asked.

I looked at him.

"It was okay."

"Anything interesting happen?"

I considered telling him about Akari.

About Hina.

About Ren's flowers.

About the kiss that had turned my life upside down.

Instead, I said, "We got a new student."

Dad turned toward me.

"Really? What's she like?"

"Her name is Akari. She's nice. She moved here from London with her father."

"Have you made friends?"

I nodded.

"She's my partner for our psychology assignment."

Dad smiled.

"I'm glad."

I looked down at my hands.

"Do you ever feel like everything changes too quickly?"

His expression grew thoughtful.

"Sometimes."

"Even when you're an adult?"

He laughed softly.

"Especially then."

I looked at him in surprise.

He continued, "When you were little, I thought I would have more time to spend with you as you grew older. Then work became busy, and before I knew it, you were already in high school."

I swallowed.

"I know you work hard."

"I do. But I don't want you to think that means I don't want to spend time with you."

I looked at him.

He smiled gently.

"Would you like to do something together this weekend? We could visit the Culture Day exhibitions or go somewhere for lunch."

For a moment, I couldn't find my words.

Then I smiled.

"Really?"

"Really."

I leaned against his shoulder.

"Okay."

He rested a hand gently on my head.

"Then it's a date."

I laughed.

"Dad, please don't say it like that."

"Why? I'm taking my daughter out."

"You're embarrassing."

"And yet, you love me."

I smiled against his shoulder.

"Unfortunately."

He laughed, and I laughed with him.

For the first time in a long while, I felt like I had my father all to myself.

And I didn't want to waste the moment.

Later that night, I stood in my bedroom, arranging Ren's flowers in the vase Mom had found for me.

Outside my window, the neighborhood was quiet. A few lights remained on in the neighboring houses, and the cool autumn breeze stirred the curtains.

My phone vibrated on the bed.

A message from Akari.

Akari: Thank you for inviting me tomorrow! I'll bring my notes.

I smiled and replied.

Me: Don't worry about it. Mom is already planning to feed you.

Akari: Should I come hungry?

Me: Very hungry. I'm serious.

She sent back a laughing emoji.

I placed my phone on the bedside table and looked at the flowers again.

Then I thought of Hina.

I wondered whether she had made plans for the holiday.

I wondered whether she was still angry.

And I wondered whether she would ever forgive me.

My smile faded.

I picked up my phone again and opened our conversation.

My last message was still there.

I miss you.

She hadn't replied.

I stared at the screen for a long time before setting the phone down.

Tomorrow, Akari would come over.

I would spend time with Dad.