Almost mine

Chapter 1

Chapter 1

One week had passed since my birthday.

Seven days.

That was how long Hina had gone without speaking to me.

Not a single proper conversation. Not one of her usual messages asking whether I had finished my homework. Not even a silly picture sent in the middle of the night when she was supposed to be sleeping.

Nothing.

And somehow, the silence hurt more than I had expected.

Hina and I had been friends for so long that I couldn't remember what my days felt like before her. She was the person I told everything to, the person who could tell when I was upset just by looking at me.

Now, whenever I saw her at school, she looked straight through me.

I missed her.

God, I missed her so much.

But I couldn't exactly blame her for being hurt. I knew what had happened that night. I knew how she felt about Ren, and I knew that the kiss had changed something between us.

Even if it had been a stupid game, it hadn't felt like nothing.

At home, Mom had noticed the difference, too.

"Sakura, have you and Hina argued?"

I looked up from my bowl of rice.

We were sitting at the dining table, the soft sound of the television coming from the living room. Outside, the evening sky had turned a deep shade of blue, and the lights from the neighboring houses shone through the window.

"Why do you ask?"

Mom gave me a look.

"Because you haven't mentioned her all week. Usually, I hear her name at least five times a day."

I lowered my eyes to my food.

"We're just having a little problem."

"What kind of problem?"

I moved a piece of grilled salmon around my plate with my chopsticks.

"The kind I don't know how to fix."

Mom didn't press me for an answer. Instead, she reached across the table and gently touched my hand.

"Sometimes, saying you're sorry is only the beginning, Sakura. The other person might need time."

I nodded, even though I already knew that.

The problem was that I didn't know how much time Hina needed.

Or whether she would ever want me back.

Monday morning arrived far too quickly.

My alarm rang at six thirty, dragging me out of a dream I couldn't quite remember. I lay still for a moment, staring at the ceiling while pale sunlight slipped through the curtains.

Another school day.

Another day of pretending I was fine.

I got out of bed, washed my face, and tied my hair back before putting on my school uniform. Downstairs, Mom had already prepared breakfast. The smell of miso soup and freshly cooked rice filled the kitchen.

"Good morning, Sakura."

"Morning, Mom."

She looked at me over her cup of tea.

"Have you spoken to Hina yet?"

I nearly choked on my tea.

"Mom!"

"What? I'm only asking."

"I haven't."

She sighed softly but didn't say anything else.

I finished breakfast, picked up my schoolbag, and slipped on my shoes by the front door.

"Have a good day," Mom called.

"I will!"

I stepped outside and pulled the door shut behind me.

The morning air was cool against my cheeks. A few cherry trees lined the street, their branches swaying gently in the breeze. The neighborhood was slowly waking up: bicycles rattled along the road, shopkeepers lifted their shutters, and students in uniforms hurried toward the station.

Everything looked ordinary.

I wished my life felt that way, too.

By the time I reached school, the hallways were already buzzing.

Students crowded around the shoe lockers, exchanging greetings and complaining about homework. Somewhere down the corridor, someone laughed so loudly that a teacher called out for them to keep their voices down.

I changed into my indoor shoes and headed toward my classroom.

"Sakura!"

I turned to see Yuto waving at me from the doorway.

"What?"

"Did you hear?"

I blinked. "Hear what?"

He stared at me as though I'd just announced that I had never heard of the internet.

"About our substitute teacher!"

I shrugged and walked past him.

"No."

"Apparently, he's handsome."

I stopped.

Then I slowly turned back.

"That's what everyone is talking about?"

"Pretty much."

I gave him a flat look.

"Do you people not have homework to worry about?"

Yuto laughed.

"You say that now, but wait until you see him."

"Unless he's here to do my homework for me, I don't care."

"You're impossible."

"And yet, you keep talking to me."

He put a hand over his heart as if I had wounded him.

I ignored his dramatic performance and went to my desk.

I wasn't interested in handsome men, mysterious men, or whatever else my classmates had decided to obsess over that morning.

I had enough problems of my own.

Especially one best friend who wouldn't look at me.

Our psychology teacher was absent that day, and we were told that a substitute would be taking the class.

I was halfway through organizing my notebook when the classroom door slid open.

The noise died down almost immediately.

A man stepped inside, carrying a folder beneath one arm. He was tall, dressed neatly, and had dark hair that fell just enough over his forehead to make him look effortlessly put together.

A few girls straightened in their seats.

Someone whispered, "Oh my God."

Another girl covered her mouth to hide a giggle.

I didn't bother looking up properly.

Probably another person everyone would talk about for the next week.

I reached into my bag for a pen.

Then I heard his voice.

"Good morning, everyone."

Something about it made me pause.

I lifted my head.

And there he was.

Sōma Kurokawa.

For a second, I simply stared at him.

The same man who had driven me home on my birthday.

The same man who had listened to me ramble in the car while I tried to pretend that my life wasn't falling apart.

What was he doing here?

I quickly lowered my eyes and pretended to be very interested in the blank page in front of me.

Perhaps if I ignored him, he wouldn't notice me.

Perhaps the universe would finally decide to leave me alone for one morning.

I gathered my notebook and stood when the teacher instructed us to introduce ourselves to our substitute.

Then I walked past the front of the classroom as casually as I could manage.

"Sakura?"

I stopped.

Of course.

Of course, he had noticed me.

I turned around slowly.

Sōma was looking directly at me, one eyebrow slightly raised.

"Yes?"

He looked amused.

"You're not even going to say hello?"

I tilted my head.

"I'm sorry. Do we know each other?"

The classroom suddenly became quieter.

I could practically feel several people turning to watch us.

Sōma stared at me.

Then he let out a short, disbelieving laugh.

"You're kidding, right?"

I blinked innocently.

"Am I?"

"You don't remember me?"

I pretended to think about it.

"I'm afraid I don't."

He folded his arms.

"We met on your birthday."

I paused.

"Your birthday," he repeated. "I'm the one who gave you a ride home. You were sitting in my car, talking to me like we'd known each other for years."

My face warmed.

Oh.

Right.

That night.

The car ride.

The fact that I had completely forgotten to consider the possibility that I might run into him again.

I cleared my throat.

"Oh! Sōma. I'm sorry. I remember now."

His mouth curved into a small smile.

"That's better."

I gave an embarrassed laugh and tucked a strand of hair behind my ear.

"Sorry. I didn't know you taught here."

"Neither did I know you attended this school."

"Well, now we both know."

"Apparently."

He glanced at the students watching us.

"Should we continue this conversation after class, or would you like to give everyone a little more entertainment?"

I looked around.

Almost the entire classroom was staring.

I wanted the floor to open up and swallow me.

"No, thank you."

"Then go sit down, Sakura."

I turned and hurried back to my desk.

Behind me, I heard Yuto whisper, "You know him?"

I dropped into my chair.

"Unfortunately."

He grinned.

"Oh, this is going to be interesting."

"Say one more word and I'll throw your notebook out the window."

He immediately faced the front.

The lesson began a few minutes later.

Sōma introduced himself properly, explained the assignment, and started writing on the board. His handwriting was neat, and his voice carried easily across the room without him needing to raise it.

I tried to concentrate.

I really did.

But every time he walked between the desks, I became painfully aware of how close he was.

When he stopped beside my desk, I looked up.

"Something wrong with your notes?"

"No."

"Then why have you been staring at the same sentence for five minutes?"

I glanced down.

He was right.

I had written the date and absolutely nothing else.

I picked up my pen.

"I'm thinking."

"About psychology?"

"Obviously."

He looked at the empty page.

"Of course."

I narrowed my eyes at him.

"Are you always this annoying?"

"Only when my students refuse to take notes."

"You're enjoying this."

"A little."

I shook my head and finally began writing.

He moved on to the next desk, leaving me to wonder how someone I had met only once could already be so irritating.

The bell rang at the end of the lesson.

Chairs scraped across the floor as everyone began packing their things. Several students approached Sōma with questions, while others seemed more interested in asking about his background than the assignment.

I slipped my notebook into my bag and stood.

"Sakura."

I looked over my shoulder.

Sōma was stacking his papers.

"Do you have a moment?"

I glanced at the door.

"Is this about my notes?"

"No."

"Then I'm listening."

He gave me a knowing look.

"How have you been?"

The question caught me off guard.

For a moment, I didn't know what to say.

"Fine," I answered automatically.

His expression changed slightly.

"Just fine?"

I forced a smile.

"Yep. Couldn't be better."

He didn't look convinced, but he didn't push me.

"All right. I'll see you around, then."

"See you."

I left the classroom before he could ask anything else.

For some reason, I was grateful that he hadn't.

At lunch, I carried my bento toward the courtyard.

The weather was pleasant, and the sunlight fell across the wooden benches beneath the trees. Students gathered in small groups, sharing food and laughing about things I didn't understand.

I found a quiet spot and sat down.

For a few minutes, I ate without looking at my phone.

Then I saw Hina.

She was standing near the vending machines with two girls from our class.

Her hair was tied back with the little ribbon I had given her last year. She was smiling at something one of them had said, and for a moment, the sight made my chest ache.

I missed that smile.

I missed being the person who could make her laugh like that.

Before I could talk myself out of it, I closed my bento and stood.

"Hina?"

She turned.

Her smile disappeared when she saw me.

The two girls beside her exchanged a glance.

I swallowed.

"Can I talk to you for a minute?"

Hina looked at her friends.

"It's fine," one of them said quietly, moving away with the other girl.

When we were alone, I took a breath.

"I know you're angry with me."

Hina said nothing.

"And I know I hurt you. I keep thinking about what happened, and I know saying it was just a game doesn't make it any better."

Her eyes flickered toward mine.

I clasped my hands together, trying to stop them from trembling.

"I'm sorry, Hina. I really am."

She looked away.

"I never wanted to hurt you."

"But you did."

Her words were quiet.

That somehow made them hurt even more.

I nodded, blinking quickly.

"I know."

"You knew how I felt about Ren, Sakura."

"I know."

"And you still kissed him."

"It was a dare, and I—"

I stopped myself.

That wasn't an excuse. Not when she was standing in front of me looking as though she couldn't believe I had done it.

I tried again.

"I'm not saying that to justify it. I just... I don't know how to explain what happened."

Hina let out a small, bitter laugh.

"Maybe there isn't anything to explain."

My throat tightened.

"Hina, please."

She shook her head.

"Do you know what hurt the most?"

I waited.

"It wasn't even the kiss. It was knowing that you were the person I trusted most, and I still had to find out that you could hurt me like that."

I felt the tears gathering in my eyes.

"I never wanted you to feel that way."

"But I do."

She looked at me then, and I wished she would shout at me instead. I wished she would tell me everything she hated about me, because at least then I would know what to do with all the hurt between us.

Instead, she looked tired.

"I'm sorry," I whispered again.

Hina picked up her drink from the vending machine ledge.

"I heard you, Sakura."

"So... can we please talk? Like we used to?"

For a moment, she didn't answer.

Then she shook her head.

"Not yet."

The words landed between us like a closed door.

I nodded, even though every part of me wanted to beg her to change her mind.

"Okay."

Hina turned to leave.

"Hina?"

She paused without looking back.

"I miss you."

Her shoulders stiffened.

For one hopeful second, I thought she might turn around.

She didn't.

"I need some time, Sakura."

Then she walked away.

I stood there long after she had disappeared into the crowd, staring at the place where she had been.

I had apologized.

I had told her the truth.

But I couldn't make her forgive me just because I was ready to be forgiven.

And that was the part I didn't know how to live with.

By the time the final bell rang, the sky outside had turned pale gold.

I packed my things slowly, hoping that moving slowly might somehow make the day last longer. I wasn't ready to go home and answer Mom's questions, and I certainly wasn't ready to spend another evening thinking about Hina.

As I stepped into the hallway, I heard someone call my name.

"Sakura."

I turned.

Sōma stood near the classroom door, his folder tucked beneath his arm.

"Heading home?"

"That's generally what people do after school."

He laughed.

"Still as friendly as ever, I see."

"I'm a delight, actually."

"I'll keep that in mind."

For the first time all day, I smiled without forcing it.

Sōma noticed, but he was kind enough not to comment.

He fell into step beside me as we walked toward the shoe lockers.

"Long day?"

I hesitated.

Then I sighed.

"You have no idea."

He glanced at me.

"Want to talk about it?"

I looked toward the windows, where the evening sunlight stretched across the polished hallway floor.

There were plenty of things I could have told him.

About Hina.

About Ren.

Instead, I shook my head.

"Not today."

Sōma nodded.

"All right."

No questions. No pressure.

Just that.

We reached the entrance, where students were gathering their shoes and hurrying outside.

"Take care, Sakura."

"You too, Sōma."

I stepped into the cool afternoon air and started toward the station.

For the first time in a week, my thoughts had wandered away from Ren and Hina for more than a few seconds.

I wasn't sure what that meant.

I only knew that tomorrow, I would have to return to school, face Hina again, and pretend that the distance between us didn't hurt.

And now, apparently, I would have to deal with Sōma Kurokawa, too.

Wonderful.

Just wonderful.