Rose Black

Rose The streets were empty. I took it as an advantage to get out of the house and take a walk to the park. It's been a long time since I last went out just to breathe fresh air. In the past few days, I find it hard to talk and even inhale air. It seems like I have lost my will to live since my grandma passed away. She's the only one I got. She's been there since I was a child with nothing in my brain but bliss and pureness of the soul. My parents both live on another continent and I don't even want to see them. Random calls and video calls are just patches attempting to fix the missing part of my being. During my childhood, I was never given a chance to play with my other siblings. It's like I'm different, I just simply don't belong and it's only my grandma who understands me more than I understand myself. I don't even want to think about what she said to me before. I hate it, but it lingers, echoing in the caves of my mind. I'm chosen. I snapped out of my thoughts as I saw the park within a few meters. It's always been a place for me to relax and organize my thoughts. The weather today seemed fine. The sun shines brightly, highlighting the green leaves of the trees, giving shade to the benches. I used to love the bright colors of this place, but now I find the lifeless things more beautiful. I took a seat on one of the benches near the street. My eyes roaming around, silently watching the few strangers enjoying their lives. Some were dating and taking selfies. Maybe if I was not in this stage of stress I'd take their laugh as contagious. I was always a shallow person back then. Some would say I'm too sensitive and such a cry-baby, but I'm thankful for that, because though my emotions are that shallow at times, I easily get happy about little things that only a few would find amusing. I stayed still in my seat like a breathing statue, a few more inhalations and exhalations, I think I'll be good. Let's just settle for that. Okay, it is a deep word I just can't utter right now.