unwanted and in the shadows

chapter 7: unhinged trusts

With my eyes half closed I rolled them at the voice of Diana of course it was all a dream my mother's teasing smile my dad's smile and the love he had in his eyes. A dream that I was not willing to accept.

I so desperately wanted it to be real but this is life we do not always get what we want. This being the sad part and reality of life. Mom and dad were the reason why i wanted to get married when I was younger I wanted someone to love me the way those two loved each other but seeing the way dad turned out, I wasn't so sure anymore I do not want to end up like dad dead in the soul and spirit while still alive.

Being absent to those who are still in the world just because I am obsessing over a dead person, one who will never came back to us, hurting those who are still here and alive and care. It pained me that this is how dad turned out having no other choice but to live on with life to continue existing, just drifting through life.

Morning light filtered through my curtains, casting a soft glow over my room. The morning was a complete and total contrast to my mood. The house was quiet and eerie as always, save for the faint clinking of dishes downstairs. I took a deep breath, savoring the fleeting peace before the inevitable tensions of the day set in.

I groggily got out of bed having no energy for the day as it downed on me that it was yet another day to drift through my life, to be there but not noticed by anyone. All this left a foul taste on my mouth and I did not want to think about it no more atleast today I had school and after that I could go to my small heaven a small library in town.

I lazily pulled on a hoodie and made my way downstairs. Diana was in the kitchen, her movements precise and purposeful as she prepared breakfast. Dad sat at the table, reading the morning news paper, his face a mask of concentration with his face in a small frown while his head was fully immersed in the news paper he was reading. Atleast it seems that the news paper is more interesting than his and my own life judging by the eye catching and thrilling cover so I do not blame him.

“Good morning,” I said, trying to sound cheerful with a forced smile on my face. A complete opposite of the way I was feeling and looked if I guessed right.

Dad didn't even acknowledge my presence it was like I was not even there at all."Finally the majesty of the house is awake why did you oversleep, you wanna fail your exams and embarrass us by skipping classes? Sorry maam but that ain't happening on my watch quickly take your breakfast and go to school".Diana said her back to me.

And there goes my efforts to try and have a smooth morning why does she always have to piss me off. I just ignored her took an apple and headed towards the garage she had officially made me her enemy now and she had it coming. I don't enjoy breakfast no more as you can guess and also her cooking was awful.