My Plus-size Love

Chapter 2

I ran over to my phone because of how excited I was at the idea of receiving two messages in one day. Maybe this is a sign that I am finally going to hit the jackpot. My fingers couldn’t unlock my phone fast enough and my chocolate cake was sitting on the side table, forgotten now, but still in the back of my mind. At least if this turns out to be another dud, I still have that sweet comfort waiting for me. I saw the message bubble with a red mark indicating that I had a message. Here it goes, the same chant in my head “Please don’t be a creep”. I opened it and it was simple and from someone named Derek.

D- Hey, I love the picture of your headset that has the Legend of Link symbol on it. I used to love to play that game.

C- Thank you! I am glad you noticed; you are the first person who has mentioned it before. You say you used to love it. Does that mean you don’t like to play it anymore?

D- No, I defiantly play all the time, well when I can anyway. I am busy with work, so it is something I treasure when I get to play.

C- Oh that is so sad. What kind of job do you have?

D- I am in the entertainment business.

C- What kind of entertainment if you don’t mind me asking? Just a little curious, that is all.

D- A few things here and there, that’s all.

I could tell that it was not something that he wanted to open about. It doesn’t matter to me what a guy does for work because I make plenty of money for myself and can support my family. I work in HR for a big publishing company and have kept the job for two years. The biggest thing I care about is that I want someone who has a passion for something so that they don’t become stagnant. There is nothing worse than watching someone give up on their life and on themselves. I couldn’t watch someone do that to themselves. I had to watch my mom go through that with my dad when he was let go of his company after they had cutbacks. He would just sit at home watching TV all day. I would leave for school and come back home to him in the same position I left him in. I wondered if he even got up to get food because he looked like he was thinning away.

“Ting”

I had gotten lost in my own thoughts and didn’t send another message back.

D- I don’t mean to be so vague, I promise I do work. I just do so many different things it would be hard to explain over a message. I think it would be best left for a meeting in person.

C- Of course, I didn’t mean to not respond. I got lost in thought thinking of my childhood. That is something I do at times. I have adult ADHD, so my mind wonders a lot! It does not matter to me whatever type of work you do or not do. I think it is awesome if someone is doing something that they genuinely enjoy doing, regardless of whether they make a lot of money doing it or not. Money is not important in life, family and friends are the only things that matter in the end. Oof look at me rambling on and on, sorry! Didn’t mean to get so deep just now!

D- Not at all, I admire that. I don’t think that it is the most important thing in life either. Money has a way of changing people, and not always in the best way. Trust me, I have seen it ruin people’s lives and bring out the worst in them.

C- True, it can do that if you have money or don’t have any. I mostly want to live comfortably, that’s all!

D- So what is it that you do for a living?

C- I work in the Human Resources department for a publishing company.

D- Wow, how long have you worked there?

C- I have worked for the company for two years, but six months of an internship that I needed to graduate, and they hired me once it ended and I graduated.

D- Do you have a bachelor's degree?

C- Yes, I do, I was thinking about going back and getting my master’s, but I don’t know if I am ready to be responsible for all that homework and schoolwork again.

D- Hahaha I understand that! That is awesome. I admire that you have worked so hard to get where you are. So, your profile says that you are 23?

Shoot, I didn’t even look at this guy’s profile. I just got so excited that I got a message I didn’t even bother to look. The conversation is getting so good too. So far, we share an important core belief and have a common interest. I am starting to get hopeful, even though I know it is way too early to be this expectant of our conversation.

I clicked on his bubble icon and was directed to his profile. His name is Derek Langly and,wow, he is so cute. Brown hair with blue eyes and a smile that is already starting to melt my heart. This is getting dangerous. The more I look and speak, the more I start to like him. He is 27. Four years is not that bad. It is hard though, because I feel like my adulthood has just started since I finally graduated and got my first apartment. I hope he doesn’t look at me like a complete newbie in life. I am not getting that vibe from him though. He seems nice. His profile really doesn’t say much about him, but I really like that he looks like he is on the heavier side too. It is always good to have someone who understands the struggles that I go through daily with my weight gain and self-consciousness.

There I go again, getting lost in my own thoughts. I had better respond before he thinks I am ignoring him again.

C- Yeah, I am, I just turned 23 four months ago. On my birthday I couldn’t help but think of that song. No one likes you when you are 23. I swear that is my anthem until I turn 24.

D- LOL, yes!! I love it! You are so cute.

I smiled at this message and was almost on the verge of blushing. Even though I know he must have found something attractive about me, I have a hard time believing that anybody could find anything about me attractive. Years of bullying and self-loathing tend to do that. I don’t even know how to respond to this message. I don’t want to say thank you if I sound conceded but I don’t want to ignore the comment and seem like I don’t care that he said it. This is what makes flirting so hard. How do you even respond to comments like this? People do this kind of thing in person. I can’t even imagine. I know I would clam up and die of embarrassment.

I looked over at the side table with the chocolate cake snack and grabbed it. I need something sweet to calm my nerves. I opened it up and reveled in the delicious, sweet snack. After a few bites, I could feel myself start to calm down.

“Ting”

Man, I lost myself in my thoughts again. I don’t even want to look at the message. I still can’t decide on the best way to respond to his message. My mind was racing, and I could feel the time start to get away from me again. It had already been 20 minutes since he sent that message. I finally picked up my phone and looked at the message.

D- I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable. I just thought that it was cute that you liked that song so much and wanted it to be your anthem. I really love that song and grew up listening to it but I never thought about it when I turned 23 and I wish that I had!

I groaned out loud again and Leo perked his head at me, now wanting to take an interest in my life. He jumped on the couch and curled up facing me but not really looking at me with his tail swishing. I guess I was disturbing his nap that he was having on the floor with a perfect ray of sunshine streaming through to it. Of course, Derek wasn’t talking about my looks or anything. Just with what I said. I am such an i***t. Now I could really die of embarrassment.

C- I should be the one who is saying sorry. I thought for a second you were saying that I was cute, and I didn’t know how to respond to it. I don’t take compliments very well.

D- Well I wouldn’t call you cute.

My heart sunk as soon as I read this message. What is he trying to say?

D- I think you are beautiful.