The Love Triangle

     It’s always weird going back to school on the first day. You walk in through those harsh metal doorframes and see those ugly yellow walls. It looks like the same world you lived in before, but it’s also a completely new place just waiting for you to explore. Some people like school. Most people really like Summer. I like Summer. It’s nice to have a break every once in a while, but I get bored of lying in my bed after a month. By the time August comes around, I get so bored that I’m practically begging to go back to school.                      Sometimes, when you walk through that doorframe for the first time of the school year. You walk in a new person… or at least you act like it. You act like everything is different. New friends. New personality. New perspective, but frankly, I just want everything to stay the same. Everything feels pretty great right now.        “How’s it goin’, Samuel?” A tall, toned boy walks up to me. He flows his strong, rugged hands through his long, luscious brown hair like in a movie. When I look at him, he cracks a beautiful smile that shines in front of his light-brown skin. His brown eyes sparkle just like his smile. The way he looks at me with his eyes always makes my stomach turn.        “Hey! It’s going great. I’m so happy to be back at school again” I respond. His name’s Carson. He’s been my best friend for years since when we met in 4th grade when I was 10. He transferred to my elementary school from some place in Hawaii. That’s where his family is from. I don’t know much about Hawaii, but I do know that being from Hawaii apparently gives him the right to be the most attractive man in our entire high school. Like why?!? He looks like one of the lifeguards from Baywatch who runs in slow motion. It’s totally so not fair. And he knows he’s cute and uses it to his advantage. He always acts like he’s the most attractive person at our school. He flirts with all the girls, bros out with all the guys, and finds ways to suck up to the teachers so he can get away with anything. Being friends with him does has some perks though. I haven’t gotten bullied since I met him, but the best perk of being his friend is getting to hug him. Every time I hug him, his back muscles tense up as he squeezes. I get to feel every single strand of muscle he has worked so hard to tone. Sometimes, I feel bad for appreciating my best friend’s body so much, but I can tell that he likes the hugs as much as I do.        “Any gorgeous new hunks since I left?” he asks me.                      I chuckle and roll my eyes. I am gay and so is Carson. I knew I was gay when I was 8 years old. I was playing soccer in gym class. and Jimmy Reeves (Don’t worry. He’s not important. He won’t come up again.) lifted up his shirt after getting a drink from a water fountain to dry his mouth. At that moment, I realized I was never going to be into girls. Carson came out to me when we were in 7th grade. I was super excited to learn that he was gay too, but I was kind of jealous that he got to come out first. I wanted to come out to him for a while, but I didn’t cause I was too chicken. When he first came out, I had a big crush on him. I knew I liked him the moment we first met when I first stared into his gorgeous, brown eyes. I thought he might like me, but it was kind of obvious just how wrong I was when he started dating some jock on the football team in 8th grade. I never stopped liking him, but I decided I like us more as friends.        “Not since you last asked me, dude.”      He was always convinced that I needed to find someone. He never fully understood why I prefer being single, but that’s only cause he was guy-hopping all the time and wanted me to get to “experience” it myself. I had no desire. I haven’t had a crush on a person for a long time. I haven’t really dated anyone, and I’ve been content with it. There hasn’t really been anyone else that made my heartbeat like when I first met Carson.                      Ever since we came out, we haven’t kept any secrets with each other. I tell him everything and he tells me everything or so I thought. He got weird when he turned 18 though. Whenever he would come to school, his face had cuts, scrapes, and black eyes like every other day. He kept looking like he was getting in fights or something, but I don’t know why. I tried to talk to him about it, but he would just brush it all off. Luckily, it stopped happening, so I let it go. I mean, I care about him. I want to know if he’s in trouble. He’s never been the most perfect person, but he isn’t the kind of guy to join some gang or whatever was happening. The most confusing part was he always healed really quickly. Sometimes, if he came in with a cut, it would be gone by lunchtime. There was also a brief period when he just disappeared. He didn’t text, call, or anything else. He just vanished. When he got back, he told me he had to go back to Hawaii, but I know he was lying. I still don’t know what actually happened during the time he was gone, but I didn’t want to pry.                      “Are you excited?” he asks.      “For what?”      “Tomorrow! You finally become an adult.” I forgot! I turn 18 tomorrow. I’m really excited. My mom is making a big dinner tomorrow night for the three of us. I know it’s dumb to get excited about a birthday, but I’m finally becoming an adult!      “See. You say that, but you turned 18 over a year ago, but I have never, ever thought of you as an adult. And I don’t think anyone else has as well.” I retort. He scoffs at me. He reaches his arm around me and puts me in a headlock. His bulging, toned arm feels incredible despite him slightly choking me which isn’t the worst thing in the world. With his other hand, he nuggies my hair.      “Hey! Stop it. My hair looked fantastic.” He laughs and releases me from his hold.        I have dirty blonde hair, but the sun-bleached some of it when I was working as a lifeguard this summer, giving me highlights. The sides are shaved off and it's brushed over to the side in a quiff. I give him a death glare, but I know it doesn’t look scary whatsoever. In fact, it even makes him laugh harder which just pisses me off. He’s stronger than me and again, he knows it. More importantly, he knows it makes me mad. I’m pretty strong compared to most people, but I’m not as toned as him. I like to think I’m pretty good looking. I am probably 6’1”. I’m not short at all, but when you have a friend like Carson who is 6’6”, anyone looks short.        “Alright. Stop laughing, Asswhole. It’s time for class.”      “But mom, do we have to?” he asked naggingly. I push him into the lockers as I walk to class.      “I’ll be there in 5 minutes.” I look at my watch. It was 7:57. School starts at 8, and we had to be in the classroom sitting down when school starts which means he is gonna be late to class. He’s your typical “if only he applied himself” student. He is incredibly smart, but he doesn’t care about school. I tried getting him to participate for the longest time but gave up after the middle of 9th grade. Honestly, I deserve a Nobel prize for community service or world peace or something for my work to make Carson a good student even if it didn’t exactly plan out. I am your traditional good student. I have never missed a class. Luckily, I never get sick.  I get all As, and I’m on the honor roll. Carson always makes fun of me for working so hard, but I know he really likes that about me.        The bell rings and the class starts. I am doing my usual thing, taking notes in my journal when the door swings open, interrupting the class. I roll my eyes. It’s Carson. He struts to his seat. He doesn’t even look embarrassed or sorry about barging into the room. I know he thinks he’s hilarious for doing it. He claims, “sorry, teach”, faking sympathy. He smirks at me and I chuckle, hiding my laugh behind my hand so the teacher doesn’t see me.      “Late to the first class on the first day? Mr. Grey, you have somehow managed to fail even my lowest expectations of you.”      “Gotta keep it consistent, Teach,” he says as he walks down the row to his seat. He sits next to me. The teacher begrudgingly goes back to his lecture. It looks like Carson is gonna be off the hook with another teacher. Sometimes, I don’t know why I’m friends with Carson considering he is such a bad influence. While I am taking notes, he finds ways to distract me from doing my work: knocking my pencil when I’m trying to write, pulling my elbow out from me, and more. I don’t know how he does it without getting caught. It’s his greatest trick.        The bell finally rings which means I get one class away from Carson where I can actually take notes and pay attention. Despite him having a different second class than me, he still walks with me to it. A bunch of people scatter and spread to the sides of the hallway up ahead. I look and see Jace walking down the hall.                      Jason “Jace” Lowell, the high school quarterback, is the top dog around here. I always see him with his shadow, Lucian. He is Carson’s only contender on the most attractive person in our high school. He has tantalizing black skin and a jawbone that could cut through steel. He has a short afro on his head with a hard fade. He is probably the same height as Carson, but I’ve never seen them stand next to each other. He always wears those muscle shirt tank tops, so his arms are fully noticeable and slightly appreciated. To be honest, I have always dreamed of seeing under his tight shirt to see each single, perfect, glistening ab. I hate enjoying looking at him since he’s such a d**k, but it’s so hard to look away. There’s something about him beyond his dashing looks that just pulls me to him. I feel lost in a transe every time I make eye contact which despite his attractiveness, I try to make as little as possible.        He scares everyone except Carson. I have never seen Carson afraid of anyone and I have never seen anyone stand up to Jace, so it is always interesting to see them interact. Jace watches us as we walk past, and he shoves himself into Jace, pushing me into the lockers. I stumble to the ground and grunt. Carson gasps and bends down next to me. “Sammy!” Carson glares at Jace who snickers as he keeps walking. “I’m sorry. Are you ok?”      “Yeah. I’m fine.” I respond. “What’s with you two? Did something happen that I wasn’t aware of.” Carson shakes his head no, but I know he’s lying. I don’t know why, but I could always tell when he was lying. I think he knows that I know he’s lying, but neither of us says anything anyway. He gives me a hand up. “Thanks.” He fakes a smile and looks back again at Jace. I wish I knew what was going on in his head.      “I’m gonna head out.”      “Carson, it’s second period.”      “Is it? I lasted longer than expected.” I roll my eyes at him. He walks away. “I’ll pick you up after school.” I wish I knew what was going on with him. I want to help him out, but until I know what’s wrong, there’s nothing I can do.