The Love Triangle

Distant Memories

     I’m even more pissed now. I walk in the school building with one thing on my mind. ‘Where the Hell is Carson!?!’

     ‘I’m at your locker. But whatever I did wrong, it wasn’t me. I didn’t do it.’ I jump. What just happened? I find Carson. I’m ready to scream with him, but I need to figure out how he got in my head. I find him.

     “What were you doing in my head? How did you get there?”

     “It’s the werewolf mind-link. We have the ability to talk through our minds and our connections. You sent me a message. The mind-link works between Packs and between families. I don’t know why we share a mind-link though. I’m not part of a Pack anymore.”

     “Ok. Cool.” That’s all I can really say. I am still getting use to this whole wolf thing.

     I shake myself. Now, I can be pissed! I push Carson into his locker. I push my arm against his chest to hold him back and get in his face. Now that I’m a werewolf, I am stronger than I used to be.  “Why didn’t you tell me you were the Orion Beta?!” I command through my teeth. He gulps. First, he doesn’t say anything. I feel my eyes turn green as my wolf tries to come out. My arm switches to my hand, lifting him and choking him up against the locker. My wolf’s ready to attack right now, but I can’t let him out any time soon. Especially being in school. This would end badly.

     Carson mind-links at me, ‘not here’, since he is currently having his windpipe crushed by my hand. I let him down. Fury doesn’t leave my face for a second.

     He takes me into a nearby empty classroom. I slam the door closed. The window cracks. He looks at me with shocked eyes. “Also, Jace told me there was some reason why you got kicked out of the pack. He refused to tell me and said that you should tell me yourself.”

(Carson)

     Oh, Goddess. He is really mad at me. I’ve known him for years, but now, he is genuinely pissed. I think I’m running out of apologies. I don’t know how many more I can cash in until he just stops talking to me. I didn’t want to tell him. I haven’t wanted to tell him, but he knows I’m hiding something now, so I need to be open with him. “Ok. I’m sorry. I know I shouldn’t have kept this from you. It’s just really hard to bring up these memories…

     You have asked about this day before, but I couldn’t tell you. There are two major packs in this area. We are the      Orion pack and the other pack is the Ursa Major pack. They split when your father became Alpha about 30 years ago. Throughout the years, the two packs have consistently fought.

     Sometimes, we were required to go on missions into enemy territory for this or that reason since the packs were fighting. They invaded us last year and stole some of our wolf pups. Alpha charged me to lead a rescue team to save the pups. It was a secret, covert mission so it was me and Luna, the Alpha’s sister.

     The mission happened last April. We fought a few delta guards and had finally found the pups. We went to release them, but the alarm sounded.

     I told her to get away with the pups, but she wouldn’t leave. She fought me and told me to get away with the pups. I argued and hesitated, but we didn’t have time to argue. I ran with the pups and protected them against any incoming, attacking wolves from the Ursa pack. Once we got to the border and I knew they were safe, I turned back and went to help Luna, but their Alpha attacked me. He jumped me and bit me before I could fight back. The toxin went all through my bloodstream, and I collapsed.

     When I woke up, I saw I was captured in a jail cell. There was also Luna in a cell across from me. She looked pitiful. I was stronger than her since I was the Beta when she was only a Gamma. I could tell we were both being poisoned by their Alpha’s blood. It was painful. It stung. It made me super weak. I felt closer to death than I ever have before especially since becoming a wolf.

     One day, their wolf was giving me food. I was able to overpower him and escape, locking him in the cell. I was going to help Luna but 10 wolves appeared around me. I was able to fight through at least 5 of them, but the Alpha Toxin was still flowing through my bloodstream. It was too strong, and I was too fatigued. Seeing the 5 other wolves ready to fight me and win, I ran away. I knew I couldn’t face them, but I thought if I escaped and found Jace, we could go back to her together. I remember running as far as I could. Once I finally saw our Alpha Gate in our Pack lands, I collapsed.

     Then I was taken care of at the hospital. I was unsure of what to do. Alpha walked into the room and he looked at me. I started to cry when he realized what happened. Soon after, he was so disappointed in me. I couldn’t live with myself. I should’ve been willing to sacrifice my life for Luna. I shouldn’t have been such a coward. I should have been a good Beta, but I wasn’t. When we went to search for her, they weren’t there anymore. We still haven’t gotten her back. I should be captured still. I shouldn’t have been able to escape. I shouldn’t have left without her. It was all my fault. I wasn’t strong enough.

     I wasn’t strong enough. It was all my fault. I wasn’t strong enough.” Samuel shakes me back to focus. I start to hyperventilate, and I feel a panic attack starting. My eyes turn green. My wolf is howling in my head. He is clawing at the sides of my brain. I can feel my brain screaming from my wolf. This is a new pain. Samuel grabs me and brings me in for a hug. He strokes my head. I hear him shush me and I get my breathing down. The feeling of being in my arms  since I feel secure with him. He pulls back. I don’t want him to stop touching and holding me, but he did so now I’m sad.

     “Then what happened?”

     I looked down at the ground. Samuel lifted my head to look at him. Tears were building in my eyes. ‘You can trust me,’ he mind-linked. I am shocked. It usually takes wolves a lot longer to learn how to mind-link. There is definitely something special about Samuel.

     “Once I returned, Jace was ashamed of me. He brought my actions up to the Council of Elders. He said my consequence was decided by the Council, but I know that he was upset with me for not saving his sister. I tried talking to him, but he wouldn’t listen. The Council called for my dismissal from the pack, and it’s safe to say that Jace broke up with me.”

     Reliving through these memories is breaking every part of my soul. I have never felt this sad before. I haven’t told anyone about what happened besides Samuel right now. I feel just as embarrassed as I did when I saw Jace’s face that day. It hurt in the moment but telling Samuel the thing I have wanted to tell him for 6 months. Finally getting it all off my chest is so painful, but it also feels good. I hope Samuel doesn’t hate me as much as I hate myself. I fall against the wall and break down in tears.

(Samuel)

     Carson falls backwards into the wall and cries. I have never seen him so fragile. He’s always talked to me about happy feelings and such, but he has never cried in front of me. He has never been in a position to cry in front of me. I’ve known him for years. I am still mad at him for all the secrets he has been keeping from me, but I know in this moment that none of my thoughts actually matter. I reach down and cover him.

     Slowly, he calms himself and looks up to me. His eyes are so red and puffy. He keeps sniffling his nose. He looked adorable when he was upset. Once he had more control, he hugs me back and holds me. The school’s opening bell rings. I need to get to class, but I know that Carson needs me, and Physics isn’t important enough today.

     Once he was ok enough, I left him alone to go to class. I thought about it the rest of the day. I decided to forgive him. It wasn’t just because he was crying, but I finally understand why he kept so much of it as a secret. I also just hate being mad at him. It’s impossible to be mad at someone so cute. I don’t understand why. It shouldn’t be. He has kept so many secrets from me, but I can’t even be upset. I just consistently want to be near him.

     I find him after school, and we make up. He gives me an official apology and we hug it out. He asks me all about how my initiation went for the pack. I punched him in the arm! I just realized he knew exactly what the initiation I went to was, and didn’t feel the need to warn me whatsoever. We both start laughing. He was super impressed when I told him how I was able to overpower the second wolf and how I was able to disobey the Alpha’s orders.