Falling For You

My life has been nothing but hell since the day i was born and somehow everything is my fault. I’ve learned to live with the pain I've endured over the years and pretend like it’s nothing. When you live a life like mine you start to lose hope in things and accpet your fate. I don’t think mine will ever change. I’m used to the thought that it’ll never happen and I'm okay with it. I’ve never liked the thought of being saved by anyone because that will mean that I'll have to drag them into my messed up life. I don’t want to drag someone into a mess that they don’t deserve to be dragged into.  My dad isn’t always home but when he is, it isn’t pretty. My mom blames me for everything when s**t doesn’t go her way and beat me and my brother. My brother tries his best to stay away from our parents as much as possbile. For some reason no matter what i do, it isn’t good enough for them. I only have one best friend besides my brother throughout my entire life and sometimes I wonder why he’s in my life. I don’t deserve him and I tell him that all the time but he brushes it off and says he’s always gone to be here. Sometimes I think he mostly stays because of my older brother. Did i forget to mention that he’s gay? Oh, well he’s gay, and proud of if you go and ask him that. I may not have the perfect life but at least i try to make the best of it and not complain about something that i can’t fix.