How Lost Souls Love

Taking my heart with her

Maisie POV

As I finished what happened to me my dad took over and started filling Noah in on things I didn’t even know. 

The guys that answered me on the street where able to find their way to the apartment. The guy that attacked me was detained by them and held until the cops arrived. My moms ex had gotten away but was later arrested a block away. Two other gentleman had pushed their way into the room to try and help me until paramedics arrived.  

I had been stabbed twice. And had various cuts along my back, arms, and legs from falling on the glass. Along with a deep s***h under my left arm from defensive wounds, and a concussion from being punched in the face repeatedly during the attack. As dad told Noah everything I lifted my shirt to reveal my puffy pink scars left behind from the blade. Two on the side of my stomach and one under my left arm. Noah's eyes narrowed and he radiates with anger. 

My dad went on to explain that that’s when he left for New York. When he got there the next day I still hadn’t waken up and my mom was still MIA. I didn’t wake up for three days. And when I did I couldn’t speak and was fighting off infections from where I had been stabbed. 

When my mom did finally turn up she was distraught. She had no idea anything that happened. She had decided to go on a drinking binge and had been gone with friends for a week, claiming she had left a note at home when she left. 

Noah was shaking as he listened to everything. He was furious and broken. When my dad finished his story my brother finally broke down. He sobbed and reached out for me. And just like all those years ago, we held each other until the crying stopped. 

Even my dad slid to the floor and held onto us. We may be 18 and 19 years old now, but we would always be his babies. The huge piece of our heart that Noah and I shared.. we got from our dad. 

Dax POV

Noah had called me a few hours after I left and I sat on the phone with him for a good two hours. Maisie had finally told him everything. Whatever happened to her was enough to break Noah down to his rawest form. He was so upset with himself for not being there to help and protect her. 

He had made a promise when they were little that he’d always protect her. And until that day he had kept his promise. Now it was like he couldn't take it, the bastards that hurt her made him a liar. He was a million different emotions and I listened as he lived through every single one. 

Eventually he calmed down. I asked about Maisie and he said she had fallen asleep an hour ago. She was drained and he didn’t expect her to wake up till morning. I convinced him that he should go see Amy. That girl was in love with him. And she’d want to be there for Noah just as much as I wanted to be there for Maisie. 

Before we hung up Noah stopped. 

“Thanks man. I know you’ve been there for Maisie a bit while I’ve been out with Amy. I’m glad that your being such a good friend to her. And me. I’m glad we have you.” He says genuinely. 

And now it’s my turn to feel something as the guilt of not telling Noah the truth about what’s happening between me and his baby sister eats away at me. Especially when he’s already lived through helping me with my own trauma. It just feels like I’m slapping him in the face. 

“Me too man. Now go see ya girl.” I say with a nervous chuckle. 

I flop down on the couch and let my head fall back.  Beast meowed at me before flipping down next to me. 

“Ah beast..” I say running a hand over my face. “What am I doing.” 

I liked Maisie. I cared for her more than I had cared about anything in a long time. She brought back a piece of happiness in me that I thought was gone. But in the process of finding that happiness I sacrificed my best friend. 

He trusted me. He thanked me. And I have done nothing but keep secrets and lie to him for the past few months. 

“Some best friend I am.” I say as I put my legs out on the coffee table and flip on the TV. 

I drowned my worries and anxiety in criminal minds episodes. Figuring out other people’s problems were easier than figuring out mine.  

I looked at the clock awhile later and it said 1:30am. I figured I mind as well try to get some sleep. I went to my room and pulled off my shirt. I changed into some basketball shorts when I heard a knock at the door. 

“The hell?..” I asked myself as I stuck my head out of my room to see if it would happen again. 

Sure enough three little knocks sounded from the door. I sighed and threw my shirt back on before walking over, unlocking it, and pulling it open. 

I was completely ready to yell if it was the stupid kids that lived across from me. One of their favorite new games was ding dong ditch and it had really started to piss me off. When the door swung open I nearly swallowed my tongue. Maisie was in front of me. Her hair lose around her shoulder's, big grey hoodie that I was pretty sure belonged to Noah, and small athletic shorts and sandals. 

“Maisie? What are you doing here?” I ask bewildered. 

“Can I come in?” She asks shyly. 

“Oh, yeah, sure, uhh.. just.. couch that way..” I say trying to stop being rude and lead her inside. 

We walk through to the couch and sit. She’s facing me and as I really look at her I see her eyes are puffy and her lips are swollen from crying. She’s fiddling with her fingers. 

I don’t know why she’s here. She’s beautiful and in pain and I want nothing more than to reach out and hold her till the pain goes away. But.. I have to be a bigger person right now. I can’t let this keep going on and hurt the only people I have left in my life. 

“Dax..” she starts. 

“No wait. Let me talk first. Ok?” 

She looks at me and nods slowly. 

“I’m sorry you had such a tough day. I was on the phone with Noah for hours after you fell asleep and he’s so relieved you're here now and that he can help you heal from all that you’ve been through. Noah had been hurting since your accident and although I don’t know what happened to you.. I can tell you that he loves you with everything in him. He’s your big brother. Your protector. And .. well he’s my best friend. My only friend Maisie. And I… I can’t lose him..” I say looking down. I don’t think I can look her in the eyes when I say what I have to say next. 

“I don’t want to break your heart. Or lose you at all. But.. Noah was there for me through everything. School. Bullying. My mom..” I catch myself and change quick hoping she didn’t hear the words “ my accident.. he’s done so much for me. I owe him my literal life Maisie.. I don’t think I can do this… I want this, I swear I do. But I can’t betray my best friend.” I say. “I can’t do this.” i can feel the tears starting to build at the back of my eyes, but i try to choke them down and be a man. I can't cry in front of her right now. I need her to understand that this is whats best for us.

I’m watching Maisie's hands. They stopped fidgeting halfway through my speech and a piece of me breaks as I see tears fall and splash against her skin. Instantly a part of me wants to take it all back. But I know I can’t. 

“It’s OK.” She says quietly. “After today I feel the same way.” She says sniffling. That makes me look up. This time it’s her who looks down at her hands. “I want to be with you. Being around you, spending these moments together.. They've helped me a lot. And I’ve come to like you in every way possible and more.” She says smiling a little. She turns her head up and looks me in the eyes. The glassy blue breaking my heart. 

“But I can’t hurt Noah.” She says crying deeply. “I love him. With every part of my soul and I can’t betray him. It’s always been the two of us and if.. if.. he finds out.. and doesn’t..” she’s hyperventilating. And she looks away trying to calm herself down. “If he doesn’t accept what we have .. I can’t lose him. I would have to chose him over you. And I don’t want to break your heart either.” She says, as tears roll down her cheeks in spades. I can feel my own eyes watering but I refuse to let them fall. I can’t make her feel any worse for doing what we both know is right. 

“So what now.. we stay just friends?” I ask slowly.. hoping that somehow I can still keep her in my life. 

Her face contorts as even more sadness washes over her. She puts her head back down and shakes her head. 

“No.. I know I’d never be able to be just friends with you after everything I’ve already had with you. Eventually we’d be tempted. And we’d hurt him… I’d hurt you.” She says. 

Again she’s right. She’s always right.. 

“Well shit..” I say choking a bit. “I didn’t expect this to hurt so bad..” I say. A heavy tear escapes my eyes and I curse the traitorous emotions. 

“I’m so sorry…” Maisie cries. She covers her mouth with her hand trying to muffle her tears. Then without another word Maisie gets up and runs to the front door disappearing.. 

Taking my heart with her.